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Not Diagnosed yet
I have been left with the responsibility of caring solely for my grandmother who is showing very progressed signs of dementia. My issue is, how do I get her a diagnosis and help, if she refuses to go to the doctor and her son (who is states away) has POA over her and refuses to acknowledge there is a medical need? I am so…
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dad bombarding me with calls
I switched out my a 90 year old dad’s phone from a smart phone to a flip phone because he had gotten to the point where he really couldn’t manage the smartphone anymore (even though he is convinced he could). He doesn’t like the flip phone and he keeps calling or trying to text me to tell me he isn’t going to use it!! My…
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Thank you!!!
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for this space with all the wisdom from people. I just joined a few days ago, and today is the first time I have ever felt the “permission” to go on dnd. I have never felt the okayness to just slip out. I have done both and never experienced such relief. I don’t have to listen to the…
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Two days in the life ...
My son and I went to visit my mom in her MC on Saturday. She smiled when she saw me but really lit up when she saw "the boy" (she doesn't remember his name). She reached out and gave him a big hug, something uncharacteristic of her these last few years. We played a simple color matching game (he played on her "team" for…
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Mom with Dementia, Dad can’t take care of her alone anymore
Hi I am Carol and I am new here. My Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 4 years ago. She has has a slow decline since the beginning of this year and I reached out to palliative care for help. Mom is 81 and Dad is 84 and not I. The greatest condition to be caring for her alone. She fell in April, broke her…
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Supplements?
Hi All, This is my 2nd question here I’m posting. Knowing now that my dad has dementia, I’m now interested in taking any conceivable preventative actions to benefit myself. To my knowledge there are (at least) 2 well-known OTC Memory Supplements on the market. One of them is Prevagen and I’m not sure offhand the name of…
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Got a few days off - almost - Credit Fraud attempts
Well with the support of the folks at my LO's MC and my wonderful son, I got to go away for a couple of days. Everyone promised to be extra vigilant and it just about worked. But … I got a call from a bank verifying that we were opening a charge account or taking out a loan. So I was able to shut that down and was on pins…
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Teaching mom about dementia
My mom has been primary caretaker for my dad with vascular dementia. I had to teach her how to talk to dad. She tends to want to explain things to him as if he can comprehend everything she says. My dad can't be convinced logically and my mom needs to practice different ways to communicate without upsetting him. There have…
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Dad with Dementia
Hi All, I'm new here. I don't know where to begin. I'm honestly not really that close to my dad (my parents have been divorced since the early 1980's). My younger sister lives in another state, and is not very close either. Neither of us are now (we both tried to be during our teens, but it was challenging). Both of our…
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bedtime games
Hello everyone ,I am shannon , nice to meet you. I take care of my 83 yr. old mother whom has dementia. She is in late stages where you really cannot have a conversation with her , she uses word salads , etc…but she gets wht you say to her , for the most part, sort of . She is still at home, I live here with her and am…
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Mom's In Good Hands
I pray a lot to God that my Mom is comfortable at her NH with all the CNA's and nurses. Today when I visited my Mom, she was being cleaned up by a CNA that I know for 8 years since my Mom has been in the same NH. My Mom was singing and laughing and so was the CNA. I stayed outside her room and listened. It was really an…
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Helpful friend or not?
My 84 yo mother beginning late stage ALZ talks to her only friend on her phone constantly. The friend is younger than her and I don’t know her. Supposedly this is someone she’s known for over 10 years. This friend seems to believe my mother’s stories of life with me. That I steal from her, don’t take her out , lock her in…
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How to convince a loved one to move into an assisted living facility
hello. I am a caregiver for my father. He currently lives alone. I live very close to him. His Alzheimer’s has progressed and I’m concerned about him living alone. I’ve had some things in place the last few years that have allowed him to remain home but his behaviors, especially late in the day, are concerning me. The…
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Struggling
I just moved my mother out of independent living to assisted. In the week since, she is increasingly paranoid and combative. She blames me for most things. She also is increasingly unable to use her laptop and phone. She calls all night and then yells at me. I turn off my phone but it eventually I need to deal with it. She…
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Grieving and Planning
Hello All- My first post ever. I am 40 years old and moved in to help my father 78 who was diagnosed with alz in 2020-- but had been declining for over a decade. He has really progressed and is incontinent, very weak, and disoriented. He recently had a fall in the shower and we had to call 911 for a lift assist-- it was…
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Only Child of Parent with Alzheimer’s
I am really struggling with kindness vs. truth. Finally tried telling a story and it backfired. I am 53 and my father died in 2021. My mother has Alzheimer’s and was just moved from independent living to assisted. She is so mean to me. Really have a hard time with this. Was never a mama’s girl. Dad hung the moon. Just so…
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Handling finances
I'm curious…when my parents are deemed incompetent in handling finances, as POA, do I write checks for them to pay their bills? Do I sign their checks? I'm going to their banks and ask them to look over the POA papers that I filled out and make sure I did it right. As for their CDs, do I call them to let them know I have…
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What has been your experience when Clearing out a parent's home
Greetings all. I moved my folks into my home with me. Mom (84) has Alzheimer's. I'm noticing cognitive issues with my Dad (86) also. My home was remodeled in 2020 with amenities that may allow them to age in place with appropriate care and oversight. Their move in with me has been a process, not an event. They both…
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Mother has Alzheimer's
My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's very recently and my parents told me a week ago. I (27M) still live with them. I work so my dad has been the one to really help my mom out (going to appointments with her, ensuring she takes her medication, etc.). I wasn't there when they got the diagnosis, but the neurologist said it…
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How Do I Keep My Mom at Home (with me) vs Assisted Living with Alzheimer’s
Hi! I’m new here, and my Mom was diagnosed this past fall. Things were ok, but I moved her into my house to keep an eye on her. I left my job to be with her full time, and things were good! After getting a Bladder Infection, she has taken a HUGE turn, and her Anxiety is OVERWHELMING her, to the point that she’s still…
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What rights do other siblings have that aren’t in charge of guardianship
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Anyone have experience with BOTH parents at once?
My folks are 83 and 80, living together in their home. Dad was formally dx'd in 2022, after periodic hallucinations that there were 3 versions of my mother; he also had some aphasia but was sharp in other ways. Neurologist prescribed Aricept and it has helped a little. Mom has had mild cognitive decline for years, but it…
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Yesterday's Adult Day Care Center tour
Yesterday went with MIL to tour an Adult Day Care Center. My main motivation about her going to the adult day care center is just to get her out of the house to socialize and do some activity. I was nervous and feeling guilty about taking her. She kept asking where we were going. My fiblet was that a friend volunteers at…
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Early Dementia
My mom has early dementia. She still drives and she still lives alone, which I hate but she refuses to move and stop driving. She has no problem getting back home during the day. I have 3 sisters and she doesn't trust either of us because she thinks we talk about her / and conspiring against her. I'm the one that deals…
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Alzheimer's/Alcohol Dementia, Alcoholism, Hoarding and Medication Refusal - what to do?
Hello, My mom has been a lifelong alcoholic who has refused most medical care in her life. She lost her home, was asked to leave her independent living situation due to hoarding, and she is in assisted living now for the last week but seems to have declined. She is physically weak, uses a walker, and is essentially blind…
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Dad can’t manage finances anymore, but doesn’t realize it, and gets irritated when we try to help
Hi, I am new here and desperate for help. This is just one example of a financial problem we are having with dad. To start with he is responsible for a cemetery trust in which he is no longer capable of managing. I have tried to get this responsibility changed , but have not been able to get someone to step in and get this…
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Confused and Stressed
Mom has been in MC for a year since my dad passed. It was hearbreaking to leave her at AL but she needed the daily care. It was the best decision since my sibiling and I all have families. Even though she can still dress herself, go to the bathroom and eat with others she throws a fit getting a shower from the aides. We…
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new to group and sad/anxious about my dad’s decline
Hi all, I am the POA/ caregiver for my 90 year old dad who has dementia. He lives in a facility that is just a couple of miles from me and for the most part has been happy there. I was also POA for my mom who died 2 1/2 years ago after a 19 year journey with alzheimer’s. Although it was difficult to see my mom decline, she…
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Hospice for dad
Dad officially got approved for hospice at home. Yesterday the assessment nurse came and started paperwork. Today the RN came and waiting for SW and HHA to come. I told the care team to communicate with me on anything they need to know. I know my mom is relieved and hope my dad will continue to cooperate with staff. So far…
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Therapeutic Lie
Hi everybody! I was looking for some advice on how to explain to my mom (60 with ALZ) the idea of starting to go to an adult day care program. There’s this wonderful program that’s 5 minutes away from us, in a senior center that my mom is familiar with already because her mom used to go there. I’be recently heard the term…