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Caring for parent u have health issues
I've been living with Lupus about 14 years Ma has Altimers and Dementia past maybe 5, I had no help or resources and my health was taking a toll for the worst she has other issues health I was getting her to her appointment and skipping mine, first she stopped eating abs and taking her meds, She needed 24 hour care I can…
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Missing the toilet
Does any know of any devices/aids to help getting my dad to aim his pee at the toilet. My dad is completely missing the toilet. I’ve tried to work with him on sitting down to pee, but he does not remember to do it. I am having to clean the floor in three different bathrooms throughout the day.
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Saw Mom Today
Today was not a good day for Mom, she was irritable and just wanted to sleep. After 7 years of seeing this desiese debilitate my Mom. She is having much more bad days than good. All I can do is pray for her to be comfortable and all the people who work at the NH to do the best they can to accommodate my mom. 🙏
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ALFs and health insurance
I finally am moving my mom into an ALF in a couple weeks. I knew I would have to change her physician simply because of location but wasn’t expecting issue with prescriptions. The ALF has an in house pharmacy they work with and if we don’t use them it’ll be additional charge to get her prescriptions filled elsewhere. I…
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Overwhelming, gripping fear
I don't understand why I always feel in the grip of overwhelming, tenacious fear whenever my mom is delusional. I hate it. I wish I could just accept it and not be so triggered, but instead, I feel my heart drop into my stomach when she thinks my dad is on my way home (he died 17 years ago) and tries to get me to leave or…
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My first visit to Mom in Memory care
We made the difficult decision last week to move my mom from AL to Memory care. It was a emotional decision for me and hard on her. At the advice of the care facility, I have not visited her all week. I plan to go visit her tomorrow for the fist time since the move. I am very nervous. I have talked to her on the phone and…
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Scared and tired
Hi all. I'm new here. Just a quick background… I was the primary caregiver for my exes mom for 6 years. I loved her dearly and she did not have dementia, but when she passed, I found there was nothing left of her son and my relationship. I moved away and married a wonderful man. Now, his mother has been diagnosed with…
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Just venting
Disregard please ...
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Caregiver support
Hi. I’m new to the forum. It’s been 4 months since my 90 yo mom moved in with me and my family. She has not been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia but she has the symptoms. I am in the process of having her see a neurologist next month. I am her full time care giver. All my siblings are scattered around…
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Mom is free of the monster which is dementia!
On the morning of July 3rd Mom passed peacefully in her sleep. She was in late stage 5 but was still able to dress herself, feed herself and toilet herself, so she was able to stay in her ALF. She had also developed a lower intestinal bleed which could have only been treated by major surgery which we declined. She lost a…
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Sister Financially Abusing Mom
My 54 year old sister is a narcissist and is the primary caregiver for our mom. Although I use caregiver very loosely. My mom has lived with my sister for 6 years now. The first 4 years while she was married. My sister gets paid by in home support services to “take care” of my mom. Help with meals, bathing, doctors appts,…
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Pill Management
Hi! Any ideas for pill management from the collective brain our there are appreciated! Here's the dilemma. Every morning, I give my 90-year-old mom with MD her six pills. Every morning, she counts them and questions me. Whatever, I expect that. But in doing so and counting them, she invariably loses one, misplaces it, or…
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Recommend an audiobook for a new caregiver?
My mom has recently been diagnosed and my dad is the primary caregiver, though I'm assisting with everything from getting her to appointments to matching them with information to providing care and visits as often as possible. I'd like to buy my dad an audiobook to listen to about dementia. Does anyone have a…
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When I'm away, Dad doesn't feed Mom
My Mom has pretty advanced dementia, Dad less advanced, I live with them to take care of them. Mom would stay in bed and not eat if I didn't feed her; Dad can get himself some simple food like cereal and ice cream; I make or buy them both real food. I tried to hire in-home care for Mom a few months ago, but Dad chased away…
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Refusal to take meds
My mother, who lives in a memory care facility, has been increasingly resistant to taking her meds (she has six or seven meds she takes, divided between after breakfast and bedtime). What are some strategies for dealing with this? The nurses at her facility have some success in bargaining with her, but that seems to have…
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Dad's anger and my mental well-being
Hello, I am beginning to wonder if my visits with dad do more harm than good. He really wants to go home. The demands increase and intensify. I end up just having to figure out ways to excuse myself so he doesn't escalate more. Agitation and pacing have already been concerns for the nurse practitioner at his memory care…
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The guilt…
There is so much guilt living with loved ones who have dementia. Am I doing the right thing? Do I need to visit more? Am I doing enough? I’m at a place right now where I feel like my Mom is living and yet not living. She’s in a wonderful AL but refuses to be involved. Visits are torture because it’s a fight to get her out…
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Sundowning
My mum literally stays up all night pottering around. Has fixated with opening all her curtains and making her bed even though it’s night time she doesn’t even realise that its dark when she opens all the curtains. Her GP has put her on 4mg melatonin which she has been taking for 7 nights and they clearly don’t touch the…
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"Bed Cane" (support handle) to help with transfer from bed
Hi, it's been suggested I order a "bed cane"/support handle for my father (he has pretty advanced dementia and lives in assisted living. Those I see online look good, and I know there are medical supply companies with these as well. Has anyone used one of these, and is there a best, most secure brand (that doesn't slip out…
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The New Car
This shows that even the most "routine" or necessary change can really throw things into a tailspin. I am my mom's primary and only caregiver. She lives with me. I'm waiting to hear about an appointment for a Medicaid assessment, but they are pretty stretched and backed up, and I've been told it could take several weeks to…
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HOW to finish the diagnosis for a very unwilling patient?
My mom has been suffering with memory lapses for some time, but it was absolutely unacceptable to talk about these memory lapses! However, less than a month ago, she had a major episode in front of us where she didn't recognize my stepfather (her husband of 44 years) and was convinced we were trying to steal her money.…
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Siblings Who Care More About Their Inheritance Than Mom's Care
Greetings, I came across this article and it almost exactly describes my situation https://www.agingcare.com/articles/amp/133713 Does anyone have any experience with this?
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Working with aids in memory care
Hi everyone, Not urgent, but I am curious: what are all of your relationships like with the aids in memory care? I am a people-pleaser with a tendency to over share: working on this, but it’s pretty entrenched in my personality. I have become overly communicative with the aids, who feel they can share their opinions with…
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Doctor appointments
Hi all, My mom (69) was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I (28) am her caregiver. It's difficult being so young and trying to figure some things out on my own. I don't have any experience and no one in my family does either. I am learning as I go. Since my mom has started her diagnosis journey, she finds every…
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How to become a provider for my Dad
This is a long story short. New to this. Dad has Dementia pretty bad and wife kicked him out 2 weeks ago. Us kids have been trying to care but super hard with this new lifestyle for him. The other day he fell at my sister's and we were in the ER for 2 days. He was transferred to a rehabilitation facility. He hates it. I…
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mini moments and self talk / inner dialog
Hi community, I am reminding myself that Alzheimer's is what has changed dad's living situation and opportunity for more freedom. It's Alzheimer's that he's actually upset about. That anger and frustration just gets pointed at me. Alzheimer's is why he didn't realize the help he needed. It's also why he couldn't organize…
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Need immediate support
Hi everyone, I am in need of some immediate support, advice and good vibes! Today was the day that I was to move my dad into the very nice AL community that I had secured for him. However, he has had a few people filling his head with BS, and further convinced him that he is fine and they will "take care of" him, which is…
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Alternatives to Driving
Hi Everyone, this is my first post here. I read a lot of the past conversations on driving, but have what I think is a twist on the question. My best friend's husband was just diagnosed with Early-Onset Alzheimers in his 50's, and like many is having problems accepting that he can no longer drive. My question is about the…
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How to Parent a Parent: When They Need Help But Think They Are Fine
Hi, all, My mother has always been a huge extravert. But as her Alzheimer's progresses, she's starting to become more socially isolated and doesn't like meeting new people. She's also kind of "moody" at times and sometimes doesn't even want to talk with her friends. We're no longer comfortable with her being home by…