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Just venting
I am just dumbfounded by what the CG is telling me about my MIL. We left her for two week as we have been trying to move out of State to be closer to our Grands and family since earlier this year. She was mad at us for disabling her stove. DH got hold of her next door neighbor and got the stove back on. The same day,…
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Just checking ...
Has anyone heard that quizzing a PWD helps their brain stay active? The friends who are visiting my mom this week have been plying her with multiple choice questions, trying to get her to remember things. They provide cues, and she answers correctly much of the time. I have overheard them saying things like "this bird is a…
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LO wanting snacks late at night
Hello everyone, recently moved my dad in with us who has high blood pressure and borderline diabetic and have finally started his blood pressure and cholesterol meds as he was forgetting to take them. He lived alone and would eat out. When he would Remeber to eat. I have started to alter his diet now that he is here. But…
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Early Alzheimer’s dementia
Hi everyone. My father informed me today that my mom (who is 72) was just diagnosed with early Alzheimer’s dementia. I noticed she would forget things a little more recently, ask the same question a few times, and misplace her phone, keys, etc. my father pulled me aside and told me about the diagnosis after the pet-scan.…
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How to introduce bringing in help
,About a year ago now, we moved my mother and father into an apartment I had built for them on one side of my home when I built a new home a few years ago. It's attached, just a separate wing/area with a door to the inside (not the outside). My 84 year old father is fully able to take care of himself, but he has his own…
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Stage 6c and sleeping most of the time (is it ok???)
My father is in stage 6c Alzheimer's :( he sleeps most of the day and night. Advice on what to do plzzz he seems comfortable and says he is getting a good rest. I don't think he is aware of how much he is sleeping. HELP :(
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Early onset VD/Alzhiemer’s
Hi all, glad I found this community. I haven’t met anyone I can relate to about my situation and it would be nice to have someone to talk to that understands. I brought my mother to the hospital the day before her 59th birthday because she was barely able to walk, could only move one eye, stroke-like symptoms. When she…
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When he can't stand up anymore
My dad is 81 with dementia and heart failure. He is in hospice at home. My mom (81) and myself ( I'm 50 and have severe treatment resistant depression and physical disabilities) care for him. Twice a week a nurse comes to check on him for 15 min. He is no longer able to walk; he can stand briefly with a walker so we can…
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Emotional Intelligence and One Other "Weird" Quirk
I'll be completely calm and basically lethargic (since I'm always exhausted), and my mom with MD will suddenly snap at me about how "wound up" and nervous I am and that I'm making her crazy. She won't let it go. By then, I usually AM wound up and nervous! I know that it's important for her sake that I don't get overly…
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Too good to be true
So finally got mom moved into ALF. The move day was brutal, very emotional. But she adapted so easily. Made friends, was never in her Apt. Out at dominos, bingo, happy hour the movies... talked to anyone who would listen how she loves it. Too busy to call me ( thank you) she is thriving. She got sick (bad cold) a few days…
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Caring for parent u have health issues
I've been living with Lupus about 14 years Ma has Altimers and Dementia past maybe 5, I had no help or resources and my health was taking a toll for the worst she has other issues health I was getting her to her appointment and skipping mine, first she stopped eating abs and taking her meds, She needed 24 hour care I can…
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Missing the toilet
Does any know of any devices/aids to help getting my dad to aim his pee at the toilet. My dad is completely missing the toilet. I’ve tried to work with him on sitting down to pee, but he does not remember to do it. I am having to clean the floor in three different bathrooms throughout the day.
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Saw Mom Today
Today was not a good day for Mom, she was irritable and just wanted to sleep. After 7 years of seeing this desiese debilitate my Mom. She is having much more bad days than good. All I can do is pray for her to be comfortable and all the people who work at the NH to do the best they can to accommodate my mom. 🙏
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ALFs and health insurance
I finally am moving my mom into an ALF in a couple weeks. I knew I would have to change her physician simply because of location but wasn’t expecting issue with prescriptions. The ALF has an in house pharmacy they work with and if we don’t use them it’ll be additional charge to get her prescriptions filled elsewhere. I…
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Overwhelming, gripping fear
I don't understand why I always feel in the grip of overwhelming, tenacious fear whenever my mom is delusional. I hate it. I wish I could just accept it and not be so triggered, but instead, I feel my heart drop into my stomach when she thinks my dad is on my way home (he died 17 years ago) and tries to get me to leave or…
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My first visit to Mom in Memory care
We made the difficult decision last week to move my mom from AL to Memory care. It was a emotional decision for me and hard on her. At the advice of the care facility, I have not visited her all week. I plan to go visit her tomorrow for the fist time since the move. I am very nervous. I have talked to her on the phone and…
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Scared and tired
Hi all. I'm new here. Just a quick background… I was the primary caregiver for my exes mom for 6 years. I loved her dearly and she did not have dementia, but when she passed, I found there was nothing left of her son and my relationship. I moved away and married a wonderful man. Now, his mother has been diagnosed with…
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Just venting
Disregard please ...
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Caregiver support
Hi. I’m new to the forum. It’s been 4 months since my 90 yo mom moved in with me and my family. She has not been officially diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia but she has the symptoms. I am in the process of having her see a neurologist next month. I am her full time care giver. All my siblings are scattered around…
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Mom is free of the monster which is dementia!
On the morning of July 3rd Mom passed peacefully in her sleep. She was in late stage 5 but was still able to dress herself, feed herself and toilet herself, so she was able to stay in her ALF. She had also developed a lower intestinal bleed which could have only been treated by major surgery which we declined. She lost a…
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Sister Financially Abusing Mom
My 54 year old sister is a narcissist and is the primary caregiver for our mom. Although I use caregiver very loosely. My mom has lived with my sister for 6 years now. The first 4 years while she was married. My sister gets paid by in home support services to “take care” of my mom. Help with meals, bathing, doctors appts,…
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Pill Management
Hi! Any ideas for pill management from the collective brain our there are appreciated! Here's the dilemma. Every morning, I give my 90-year-old mom with MD her six pills. Every morning, she counts them and questions me. Whatever, I expect that. But in doing so and counting them, she invariably loses one, misplaces it, or…
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Recommend an audiobook for a new caregiver?
My mom has recently been diagnosed and my dad is the primary caregiver, though I'm assisting with everything from getting her to appointments to matching them with information to providing care and visits as often as possible. I'd like to buy my dad an audiobook to listen to about dementia. Does anyone have a…
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When I'm away, Dad doesn't feed Mom
My Mom has pretty advanced dementia, Dad less advanced, I live with them to take care of them. Mom would stay in bed and not eat if I didn't feed her; Dad can get himself some simple food like cereal and ice cream; I make or buy them both real food. I tried to hire in-home care for Mom a few months ago, but Dad chased away…
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Refusal to take meds
My mother, who lives in a memory care facility, has been increasingly resistant to taking her meds (she has six or seven meds she takes, divided between after breakfast and bedtime). What are some strategies for dealing with this? The nurses at her facility have some success in bargaining with her, but that seems to have…
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Dad's anger and my mental well-being
Hello, I am beginning to wonder if my visits with dad do more harm than good. He really wants to go home. The demands increase and intensify. I end up just having to figure out ways to excuse myself so he doesn't escalate more. Agitation and pacing have already been concerns for the nurse practitioner at his memory care…
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The guilt…
There is so much guilt living with loved ones who have dementia. Am I doing the right thing? Do I need to visit more? Am I doing enough? I’m at a place right now where I feel like my Mom is living and yet not living. She’s in a wonderful AL but refuses to be involved. Visits are torture because it’s a fight to get her out…
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Sundowning
My mum literally stays up all night pottering around. Has fixated with opening all her curtains and making her bed even though it’s night time she doesn’t even realise that its dark when she opens all the curtains. Her GP has put her on 4mg melatonin which she has been taking for 7 nights and they clearly don’t touch the…