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delusions?
Hi. I am the care-giver for my father since Christmas. He has had memory issues for several years and has never been diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimers. I'm pretty sure he has one or the other. Anyway, for years he has been complaining about bugs on his recliner. He went so far as to get a new chair, it's leather. He is…
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How to deal with an abusive parent with dementia
Hi everyone, I am new and am glad to be here. My 92-year-old mom has mid/late-stage dementia. She was verbally abusive (and sometimes physically) most of my life. I am now 52 and have had counseling over the years to deal with her abuse. However, she now has mid/late-stage dementia and is getting both physically and…
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My Biopsy for EO was positive
I am 54, my died at age 56. Trying to navigate how many years will I have? Lumbar puncture is being scheduled today. I'm scared. Memantine has been started.
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MC
When did you know it was time for your LO to go into MC, especially for LO that did not live with you?
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Not sure what to do?
Hello, my name is Mary and I moved in with my mother in January and have been her primary caregiver since then. And to put it nicely I am exhausted. I moved in as my brother was moving out after about a year. My brother's wife abruptly filed for divorce in December of 2022 and he was forced out of him home within 48 hours…
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Dad's discussion with hospice SW
I had a discussion with my dad's hospice SW for the first time today. After speaking with her for an hour, dad all of a sudden told me I'm talking too long. The SW then said she will end the discussion. I think my dad thinks I'm disclosing too much to the SW and wants me to quit talking to her. Well, the SW respected my…
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How to prepare a dementia patient to transition?
I'm transferring my dad from one LTC facility to another. He's set in his ways so I'm anticipating some resistance. But the new facility is 30 minutes from my home as opposed to 2 hrs away. It's a much better facility than he's currently in. How do I frame my conversation with him on that day?
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Move from AL to MC?
My mom (94) is in a wonderful AL she has COPD and is on oxygen support. Mom has short term memory loss She can’t remember if she ate, what she ate, or who visited that day But …she remembers family members The problem: she is refusing showers, hair wash, changing clothing, going to dining room and has become incontinent.…
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Father's Day
With Father's Day tomorrow, I have been a little sad this weekend. My dad, PWD, stills knows I am his daughter (some of the time), but does not say my name. I live out of state and do not get to see him often. I hate this disease; it robs you of your loved one and it is a continual, gradual loss; sustained grief. I am a…
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New to this
Hello everyone. My step-mother and Mother both have Alzheimer's, early stages for Mom and getting more advanced for step-mom. Any advice on navigating this without it breaking me? I also am worried since my Grandfather also had it and I've been experiencing some loss of words, and forgetfulness, I may be next. I've had a…
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Income tax refund
Mom is probably end of stage 4. She has vascular dementia. Her memory is not bad, but reasoning logical thinking is a problem. She lives with my brother, but is alone while he is at work. ( I think that will have to change soon). I am DPOA. Her income tax check just came in the mail and she saw it before my brother could…
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Constant itching/scratching
My 83 year old mother is in advanced stage and is constantly itchy. The doctors say there is no physical reason for the itching. I read online that changes in the brain can cause the sensation of itchiness in Alzheimer’s patients. The dr prescribed Ativan, an anti-anxiety medication but does not to seem to help. She says…
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Mom finally placed in home for wellbeing and safety. Sister not supportive
Recently placed my 93 y/o mom in a home care setting with 9 other ladies, as she is on hospice with moderate to advanced dementia and very frail. I did this as POA after 2 years and 4 doctors saying mom needed 24/7 care. My sister insists on taking her out of the home for prolonged stays (10-15 days/mo) either at my…
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Therapeutic Lie #2
Hi everyone! This is kind of a continuation of my last post. I am trying to get my mom (60 with ALZ) in to an adult day care program, and it did not go well. Well, we didn't even get to the day care place. I took all of your guys' advice about saying it's a place where I volunteer at and have some friends I want her to…
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Mom has Alzheimer. Suspecting dad starting to as well. Where should I start?
Mom was diagnosed 10 years ago. Dad has been her main caretaker. I took care of them from doctor appointments to their finances. Lately, my dad has been accusing me of stealing from him from an old jacket that I gave him years ago to money and gold which I don't have access to. My mom onset was way different, she just…
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Mom wants to revoke POA
My mother is threatening to contact a lawyer to revoke the POA that I have. I am an only child and have MPOA and DPOA. She is recently paranoid that I am stealing from her and not making decisions according to her wishes. My father worked forever and worked with attorneys to set up a family trust that contains real…
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New behavior with Visitors
Mom is in an ALF and is heading soon to a MC as advised by case worker/administrator because she is steadily declining. She is getting increasingly non/compliant and not eating/drinking water. Doesn’t want to leave her recliner or her room. She has visitors and phone calls every day and all of them are reporting back to me…
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Update
So I took mom to her doctor ,asked for something to help her sleep and I have been in a peaceful bliss for 2 nights now ..thank you everyone for your suggestions !
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Dad seems angry
I'm new here. My dad was diagnosed just over 3 years ago with dementia. He has lived with me for the last 3 years. Lately, in the last few weeks, I've noticed he is way more confused, forgets he lives here, and yesterday he was just plain angry about everything. He came out and asked if we were gonna do something about all…
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Update: finally some calm weeks
Hi everyone, I just want to reach out and give a quick update: I haven’t been on here as much because my mom is actually doing very well. Miraculously she seems settled into MC again, after a few months of misery. Now, she often tells me she feels good. Part of it was my VERY open talks with staff. I’m so grateful they…
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Taking away her car - Mother with early onset Alzheimer’s
My mother has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and within the last 5 months we have seen it get significantly worse. Her mind struggles and she has gotten lost while driving probably 30 times now. Two weeks ago she popped two tires while out and we knew her time was coming to get her off the road. Then these…
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How do you process your thoughts, feelings, and slow burning grief?
Hi everyone. I’m new here. So glad I found this online community. The last three years have been super intense. From my mother getting diagnosed to losing her job to hiring at-home care, and the moving to assisted living in Jan 2023. This is a short summary, of course. But now she needs 24/7 supervision and it’s just SO…
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Trying to figure out what triggers the reactions
There are a lot which influences the reactions of those afflicted with Alzheimer's. Trying to figure out the 'triggers' can be helpful but also frustrating.
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Memory Care--The Fishbowl
Memory Care is a closed and controlled environment, welcome to The Fishbowl
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Diagnosis pre or post ALF
Question, I am currently looking for an ALF for mom. I don't have any formal diagnosis yet for Dementia. She definitely has a memory problem and her sister has Alzhiemers. I am told to wait to get diag until after she is housed. Thoughts?
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Overwhelmed
Hello. First timer here. My MIL is the one who needs help. My DH and I live about a 5 minute drive from Mom’s. DH is eldest of 4 sons, with the other sons living hours away. Last month was the neurologist appointment, attended by DH and youngest brother. MIL didn’t do well on the tests. Neurologist stated signs of…
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Not Diagnosed yet
I have been left with the responsibility of caring solely for my grandmother who is showing very progressed signs of dementia. My issue is, how do I get her a diagnosis and help, if she refuses to go to the doctor and her son (who is states away) has POA over her and refuses to acknowledge there is a medical need? I am so…
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dad bombarding me with calls
I switched out my a 90 year old dad’s phone from a smart phone to a flip phone because he had gotten to the point where he really couldn’t manage the smartphone anymore (even though he is convinced he could). He doesn’t like the flip phone and he keeps calling or trying to text me to tell me he isn’t going to use it!! My…
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Thank you!!!
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for this space with all the wisdom from people. I just joined a few days ago, and today is the first time I have ever felt the “permission” to go on dnd. I have never felt the okayness to just slip out. I have done both and never experienced such relief. I don’t have to listen to the…
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Two days in the life ...
My son and I went to visit my mom in her MC on Saturday. She smiled when she saw me but really lit up when she saw "the boy" (she doesn't remember his name). She reached out and gave him a big hug, something uncharacteristic of her these last few years. We played a simple color matching game (he played on her "team" for…