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Planning for hospice
I paid a visit to my parents yesterday and spent the night. My dad has been dealing with double incontinence and last night I observed my dad waking my mom in the middle of the night with a bowel accident and my mom had to change him and clean him up. My mom is exhausted and I recommended to my mom to accept hospice care…
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Hurt my back
Yikes! Today I was stooping over my desk and when I straightened up, my lower back snapped and a jolt of pain shot down my back. I took Tylenol but I don't have anything stronger. I'm scared because when my dad hurt his back, he couldn't get out of bed the next day. He had to call 911 to bring him to the ER and found out…
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New Member
Hello, I am a new member and I am happy that such a discussion group exists. My dad was actually diagnosed in 2019 with Alzheimer/Dimentia, but his symptoms go way back. He is getting worse and his agression spurs are now happening more often. He is 76 years old. My mom is the main caregiver. My sister and I try to help.…
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Mom's in Hospice
Hello, so I please need some advice and support. Since we put mom in Hospice, my anxiety level has gone to the roof. I went back to therapy and am feeling better. I am struggling financially with my job, sometimes I make enough money to live comfortably and like now I am broke again and living on a credit card. I want to…
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How To Balance Life
Hi everyone! Hope you and your LO’s are well. I have been having a lot of problems having a proper “work-life balance” for lack of a better term. My mom’s (60) diagnosis and required care takes up all of my energy, thankfully she’s still able to move around and shower herself and use the bathroom on her own, and those were…
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Mom with Dementia constantly leaving home
Hi! I’m new here. I travel for work and bring my mom with me because I am an only child. We’ve been doing this for the last few years. She was doing well for the longest time, but she was just formally diagnosed with Dementia after she left where we’re currently staying and got lost. A neighbor called the police and they…
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Feeling Sick and Confused
My brother and I took our mom to memory care today, and it did not go well. She is very lucid and talkative compared to all of the other people we have met at the memory care place, and even the nurse there said that she was wanting to evaluate her to make sure she wouldn't be better off in AL, and that she would bring her…
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Self care
I really understand how important it is to take care of #1. Yesterday I had a meltdown. I have been dealing with chronic insomnia lately and it was making me stressed out emotionally and physically. I couldn't think clearly and I felt overwhelmed thinking about the next step on how to take care of both mom and dad with…
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Sun upper versus Sun downer
My mom wakes up yelling at me about her bank account and that I need to stop stealing from her. She does this nearly every morning, sometimes before her feet hit the ground. It takes her a hot minute to calm down but doesn’t really let go of it until later in the day. She no longer seems to grasp the fact that her online…
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Funeral planning - How does one go about doing this?
Hello, I'm doing some form of funeral planning and I've never done this before, for anyone. Where I live I've been quoted 20k for just a full-body crypt about a year ago. And in 2018 it was 6k, at another cemetery. The 6k price was from 2018 before Covid hit and made everything crazy and real expensive. My question is, how…
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My mom is free now!
She was in hospice at her MC because of a fall that resulted in a neck fracture and brain bleed. She was in a lot of pain even with morphine and lorazapam every three hours. She wasn't eating any more except for a few sips of Insure and the CokaCola I brought for her everday. She started actively dying about a day before…
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Hospice question
Hello! Two years ago, my dad was functioning quite well. Today, I talked to hospice because he is no longer doing well. Hospice was the doctor’s suggestion. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about a year and a half ago and moved to assisted living with my mother a few months later. I liked my talk this morning with the…
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concerned
My dad is in a MC. He is probably stage 6 but I don't know for sure. When the aide took him to his room to clean him and change him(he is totally incontinent) he tried to choke her. He has not shown any violence before. She said she was squatted down at the time so I wonder if he thought she was some sort of animal. He…
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Happy Mother's Day
Today I went to go see my Mother in her nursing home. Yes she is bedridden, in her 7th year of Alzheimer's. She doesn't know who I am or what's going on but I got to pray with her, held her hand, hugged her and kissed her several times. God Bless and Happy Mother's Day to everyone who has a mamma. ✌️
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Decisions have to be made…
I finally got the official paperwork with the diagnosis with my father’s dementia being official. He has signed Medical POA, and Durable POA. He probably won’t remember any of it, despite it being notarized and all. Adult Protection Services along with the doctor says he is fully capable of making his own decisions. He…
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Lamotrigine
My mom was put on lamotrigine for her anger. Does anyone have any experience with it? It is not something I have seen discussed here before.
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increased weakness
88 year old mom, at home with me, stage 6… She is at the point where I'll need a transport chair soon. Struggling to stand and walk. Rallies a bit for PT, but presents weaker for me when no one is here. PT is going to come a couple times a week and wants her to do exercises again. My question is this…when does PT become…
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Obsessed with driving and threatens self harm
Could use advice how to maneuver through telling the dementia person they can’t drive after Dr has already told them they couldn’t, license has been suspended months ago.. should we live in his world and play along with him buying a car or should we continue telling him he doesn’t have a license and can’t drive? When you…
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How to truly block spam phone calls
My father has dementia and is eager to talk to every telemarketer. This has the phone ringing dozens of times a day, with him wasting lots of time talking to people selling services he doesn't need. Worse, the caller is sometimes a scammer, and Dad is gullible enough that he's given away his credit card and other sensitive…
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The "shake", part 2
For those who were entertained by my "moment of humor" post on April 9, here is the sequel. I visited mom today and handed her another Glucerna shake, strawberry this time. She sipped away on it till it was about 3/4 gone. Then she turned the bottle so that the label faced me. She pointed at the word "Shake", smiled slyly,…
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Fiblets or Truth Telling & Distraction Techniques?
Hi, I was a frequent reader of these discussions a few years ago but found a smaller group that felt a little closer. They have ended the Kinto app/group and so I return here. When I first started reading, I heard a lot about “fiblets” or the little lies that people tell to their person to avoid confrontation or agitation.…
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ALSP support group
My mom was DX with ALSP it’s a rare/genetic for of Alzheimer.. I was wondering if there was any type of support groups even virtual support groups that anybody has or has gone through that could help me. I love to join a support group, but I don’t know where to start, Can guide me?
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The move to AL
We moved mom from my brothers house to AL Sunday. He let her do all the packing, which wasn’t much. Using the suggested packing list from the facility (very basic, toilet paper, hand soap..) he had mom pick out everything she thought she would need at the store. Based on that you can probably imagine how it went. I got to…
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Anxiety Medications for Alzheimer's Patient
My wife (76) is at an advanced stage of Alzheimer's. She suffers from extreme anxiety and yet no medication seems to help. So, my question is: Is there a stage in the progression of Alzheimer's at which no anxiety medication is effective?
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Mom's Alzheimers and wanting to go home
My mom is 77 and was diagnosed almost 3 years ago with Alzheimers. She has been steadily declining the past three years. She was born in Romania; and has been in the country for 50+ years. She keeps saying she wants to go home; I tell her she is home and she says this is not her home. I tell her we cannot travel because…
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Articept
My mother just started to take it. What should I expect to see with these med?
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Memory Care update
After a bunch of problems at my mom’s MC (staff turnover, two ER trips in 3 months, her constant complaints about the place), I looked at two other places. One owned by the same company, overlapping staff, bigger, more beautiful, and a friend’s moms had moved there, but not as good of a location. I met with current MC…
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Sundowning and agitation
Can anyone help me with suggestions to help this. My husband hasn't slept through the night in 9ver 3 yrs. He is up/down, up/down all might ling. He goes in the bathroom at least 15x a night. He's now on Flowmaster which helps during the day but he claims he doesn't actually pee every tome he goes to the bathroom. It's…
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Flew home and found mom in self neglect
I am the youngest of 7, and my mother’s only girl. I’m the favorite and so I have the best relationship with her. My mom is 74, and I noticed something was wrong last year when she was showing some short term memory loss, not answering her phone, and making excuses to not fly to Colorado to visit her kids. Saying she was…
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I'm new here..
Hello everyone! I'm new to this website. I've been feeling very alone with my mothers diagnosis. We never really been to close even though I wanted to be. She also has bipolar. It's just been hard and it's difficult to fine people who understand. I feel very alone in this.