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Siblings not on the same page
UPDATE: I had a “come to Jesus” moment last week when all 6 kids got the stomach flu, and I realized that I don’t have to do it all. I need to stop resisting the path that is easier in front of me and let Jesus (and my siblings) take the wheel. We are transitioning him to an AL out of state, since there is more family…
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Dad is obsessing over finding out cost of nursing care. What do I tell him?
My dad is in a nursing home and is lucid and conversational sometimes. He has lived a very frugal life and has always been obsessed with how much things cost. Lately he has been obsessed with how much it costs to stay that the nursing home and is determined to get to the bank to see what checks have been written and how…
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Moving to a Memory Care Community
Does anyone have suggestions on how to talk to your parent about moving to a memory care community? I’m trying to find the words that my Dad would understand. He’s not able to rationalize anymore and has never liked change.
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A moment of humor ...
Yesterday while visiting mom in MC, I offered her a Glucerna shake (nutrition supplement for diabetics). She looked at it as if it was the first one she'd seen, though she has them frequently. She drank some and set it aside. After a while, I pointed to it and asked if she wanted to finish it. She picked it up and started…
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Fabrication of stories
Does anyone else have a LO that fabricates stories? My mom will say people say things to her that just doesn't make sense and seem unrealistic. If so, how do you respond to a story that you know is fabricated and untrue but they believe it to be true.
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Just reaching out to check in
Hello all, I haven't been on this forum in several months. I feel like I have been on autopilot and just trying to get through the days. I don't have a specific question here really, just wanted to reach out to connect with others who are going through the same thing in the hopes that I will feel less alone. About me: mom…
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Driving/anger
First time posting . Our mom is in AL with dementia that they feel is Alz since last fall as a result of living alone for past 2 years since dad passed. She has very frequent utis and delusions. The car and home were sold legally ( POA) . My mom has always been a bit sassy but the anger since we told her the car was sold…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 4/9/24
GOOD FRUIT Galatians 5:22-23 New International Version “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” THINK ABOUT THIS: What fruit do you need the most help with? Why do you think this one is more difficult?…
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Family and friends offering unsolicited advice
Recently my brother and I placed my dad in LTC, and felt that this was the best decision for his stage and getting the proper care that he needed. However, we’ve had friends and family question our decision and offer their unsolicited advice on how best to care for him. How have you handled situations like this?
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Father caring for mother
Is anyone like me in a situation in which their father is caring for their mother with Alzheimer's? I am the only daughter (one sibling is deceased, the other is not physically well and not emotionally suited to helping the way that I do). My father, in his 80s, is amazing in many ways as a caregiver (especially in his…
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The ups and downs of family dynamics
Wowow , where do I start , for one I am grateful for this forum/service for us sandwich generation families we are going through this storm (analogy ofcourse ) for my situation mom was diagnosed 6-8 months ago , but with not a clear diagnosis , but nevertheless things have become like a storm gathering steam , that's how…
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Caring for father in mid-stage Alzheimer's
Hello, I am new to this discussion board. I am one of a few people caring for my father in mid-stage Alzheimer's. One of the biggest challenges we have is changing his depends and getting him to shower. He becomes angry and won't change or take a shower. Sometimes it's 2-3 weeks between showers. I am so afraid for his…
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Granddaughter dealing with Husbands Grandmother help
New to this site and not sure anyone can help or if I'm in the right place. Grand daughter (GD)and husband bought his Grandmothers home 4 years ago as it was going to be foreclosed on. They let her stay and live with them in the home, she was supposed to inherit he ex's home after he recently died, and move to that home…
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Incontinence - sign of last stage?
My mom has started pooping her pants and not even realizing it happened. She has been mostly Urine incontinent for year but this poop thing is beyond my capabilities as caregiver. She had a fall last week and still in pain even though no fracture, but she doesn't want to be out of bed for more than a few minutes and won't…
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Help! To move or not to move a parent diagnosed with dememtia
Mom was diagnosed in January 2024. She mechanically very functionally. Sister and I can’t agree about moving her from where she has lived for 24 years to where sister and I live. Mom started showing signs of memory lose two years prior to diagnosis. How does one determine if moving is right or not as I have heard horror…
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Compassion fatigue.
In the last three hours it’s been: My butt hurts. I didn’t sleep. I’m dizzy. I’m nauseous. I’m constipated. I’m tired. I can’t breathe. My tongue is hot. It feels red. (New one)) Sometimes, I just have to sit down and concentrate on being calm.
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Alleviating my mother's guilt
My mother is in the early stage of mixed dementia. I have lived out of state and have been coming more frequently to 1) spend time with her and 2) give her husband a break. I want to stay about 2 weeks of each month. Because of this, I have been looking to purchase a home in the area. My mother gets very agitated at this…
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New fast progressing signs of Dementia
Hi new here and in search of helpful feedback. My 85 year old dad has not been officially diagnosed with dementia yet but his pcp and er doctors all agree that he is showing all signs of being that. His behavior has changed so rapidly. He started with spying on all of us, my mom, my boyfriend and myself. We thought it was…
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Just a quick positive moment
Today I went to visit and mom had once again disconnected, and hidden, her landline. I finally found it, nowhere near her room. We’ll give it one more try before I give up. She has a lot of emotions and is less and less in reality - she thinks she’s flying to her childhood home 3,000 miles away tomorrow. But she’s still…
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how do you afford Memory Care facility?
My mom is on the waitlist for a memory care facility. I really wish they weren't so pricey. It's bizarre. Is this a topic that everyone just stresses over? Anyone else here put their loved one in a memory care facility? How were you able to manage it financially?
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What can I do?
Please help. I'm looking for advice & support. I'm an only child & my 84 year old mother is in the throws of vascular Dementia. She was moved to her 3rd facility in September 2023 since first leaving her home to go into a facility November 2019. February 13, 2024 i was informed she'd tripped on her bedding & stumbled. This…
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i am 44 caring for mom with mixed dementia
Any guidance for someone who is trying to care for a mom with mixed dementia and continue to raise a family and work full time? I can not quit my job nor bring my mom into my house as there is no room, I am trying to keep her at home but I am apprehensive with what that will entail as she progresses.
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"lost in current time"?
Tam Cummings lists this as a late stage 5 characteristic. But I’m not quite sure what it means? Also, recently I’ve noticed that when MIL refers to “my family”, she always means her nuclear family as a child. Is this just an indication of her older memories being stronger than more recent memories? We had a recent…
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Need to Move Mom from AL to MC
I moved Mom into AL in January after MUCH convincing and lies that it would only be for a few weeks. She went downhill when she arrived, had behavioral issues and was placed on an involuntary psych hold due to comments and behaviors she was exhibiting. Her medications were adjusted and she is now settling in, but due to…
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LO with ALZ
Thirteen years or so ago my Mom started to get angry. She and I worked together; she was the boss and I was one of the employees. My Mom wanted things done a certain way and she also started to exhibit memory issues. Then suddenly one month she got hit by a nasty illness that resulted in her being put in a medically…
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How do you keep in touch with friends and family?
My dad moved to memory care about a month ago. He moved states, about a 5 hour drive, to be in a facility closer to me. At first I had hoped the MC staff would be able to help my dad talk on the phone or zoom with friends/family, but I don’t really think that’s something they do. My dad doesn’t have his phone because he…
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Worried
My mom who is 68 has shown drastic changes. She was showing odd symptoms even before she retired. She told me she probably shouldn't have been working at times because she was so discombobulated. She has trouble with memory, sleep, depression, anger. Not diagnosed. She refuses to take hardly any medication, even for pain.…
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New paranoia- Passenger Seat
It was around a year ago when I first saw my mother have a severe panic attack riding in the passenger seat. I had no idea why she was so upset, she couldn't look at the road, and eventually started crying. I try to comfort her from the back seat. The person driving wasn't speeding and it was not heavy traffic yet she kept…
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I am two people to my mom/MC or AL
I am new here-My mom was diagnosed with mixed dementia. She knows all of her kids names but for some reason she gets me confused and sees me as another child. She will talk to me about me, not realizing it is me. I have tried to play along and tried to delicately share I am the same person but she just not understand or…
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Catastrophic Reaction to pain
My mother, 83 , Mixed Dementia (Vascular & Alzheimers) mid to late stage, lives with me and has been Physically able to transfer and walk with a walker us to this point. However, she had a fall last week, and even though she didn't fracture her hip or pelvic area, she is reacting to the pain in such a severe and dramatic…