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Constant itching/scratching
My 83 year old mother is in advanced stage and is constantly itchy. The doctors say there is no physical reason for the itching. I read online that changes in the brain can cause the sensation of itchiness in Alzheimer’s patients. The dr prescribed Ativan, an anti-anxiety medication but does not to seem to help. She says…
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Mom finally placed in home for wellbeing and safety. Sister not supportive
Recently placed my 93 y/o mom in a home care setting with 9 other ladies, as she is on hospice with moderate to advanced dementia and very frail. I did this as POA after 2 years and 4 doctors saying mom needed 24/7 care. My sister insists on taking her out of the home for prolonged stays (10-15 days/mo) either at my…
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Therapeutic Lie #2
Hi everyone! This is kind of a continuation of my last post. I am trying to get my mom (60 with ALZ) in to an adult day care program, and it did not go well. Well, we didn't even get to the day care place. I took all of your guys' advice about saying it's a place where I volunteer at and have some friends I want her to…
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Mom has Alzheimer. Suspecting dad starting to as well. Where should I start?
Mom was diagnosed 10 years ago. Dad has been her main caretaker. I took care of them from doctor appointments to their finances. Lately, my dad has been accusing me of stealing from him from an old jacket that I gave him years ago to money and gold which I don't have access to. My mom onset was way different, she just…
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Mom wants to revoke POA
My mother is threatening to contact a lawyer to revoke the POA that I have. I am an only child and have MPOA and DPOA. She is recently paranoid that I am stealing from her and not making decisions according to her wishes. My father worked forever and worked with attorneys to set up a family trust that contains real…
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New behavior with Visitors
Mom is in an ALF and is heading soon to a MC as advised by case worker/administrator because she is steadily declining. She is getting increasingly non/compliant and not eating/drinking water. Doesn’t want to leave her recliner or her room. She has visitors and phone calls every day and all of them are reporting back to me…
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Update
So I took mom to her doctor ,asked for something to help her sleep and I have been in a peaceful bliss for 2 nights now ..thank you everyone for your suggestions !
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Dad seems angry
I'm new here. My dad was diagnosed just over 3 years ago with dementia. He has lived with me for the last 3 years. Lately, in the last few weeks, I've noticed he is way more confused, forgets he lives here, and yesterday he was just plain angry about everything. He came out and asked if we were gonna do something about all…
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Update: finally some calm weeks
Hi everyone, I just want to reach out and give a quick update: I haven’t been on here as much because my mom is actually doing very well. Miraculously she seems settled into MC again, after a few months of misery. Now, she often tells me she feels good. Part of it was my VERY open talks with staff. I’m so grateful they…
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Taking away her car - Mother with early onset Alzheimer’s
My mother has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s and within the last 5 months we have seen it get significantly worse. Her mind struggles and she has gotten lost while driving probably 30 times now. Two weeks ago she popped two tires while out and we knew her time was coming to get her off the road. Then these…
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How do you process your thoughts, feelings, and slow burning grief?
Hi everyone. I’m new here. So glad I found this online community. The last three years have been super intense. From my mother getting diagnosed to losing her job to hiring at-home care, and the moving to assisted living in Jan 2023. This is a short summary, of course. But now she needs 24/7 supervision and it’s just SO…
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Trying to figure out what triggers the reactions
There are a lot which influences the reactions of those afflicted with Alzheimer's. Trying to figure out the 'triggers' can be helpful but also frustrating.
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Memory Care--The Fishbowl
Memory Care is a closed and controlled environment, welcome to The Fishbowl
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Diagnosis pre or post ALF
Question, I am currently looking for an ALF for mom. I don't have any formal diagnosis yet for Dementia. She definitely has a memory problem and her sister has Alzhiemers. I am told to wait to get diag until after she is housed. Thoughts?
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Overwhelmed
Hello. First timer here. My MIL is the one who needs help. My DH and I live about a 5 minute drive from Mom’s. DH is eldest of 4 sons, with the other sons living hours away. Last month was the neurologist appointment, attended by DH and youngest brother. MIL didn’t do well on the tests. Neurologist stated signs of…
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Not Diagnosed yet
I have been left with the responsibility of caring solely for my grandmother who is showing very progressed signs of dementia. My issue is, how do I get her a diagnosis and help, if she refuses to go to the doctor and her son (who is states away) has POA over her and refuses to acknowledge there is a medical need? I am so…
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dad bombarding me with calls
I switched out my a 90 year old dad’s phone from a smart phone to a flip phone because he had gotten to the point where he really couldn’t manage the smartphone anymore (even though he is convinced he could). He doesn’t like the flip phone and he keeps calling or trying to text me to tell me he isn’t going to use it!! My…
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Thank you!!!
I just wanted to say a huge thank you for this space with all the wisdom from people. I just joined a few days ago, and today is the first time I have ever felt the “permission” to go on dnd. I have never felt the okayness to just slip out. I have done both and never experienced such relief. I don’t have to listen to the…
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Two days in the life ...
My son and I went to visit my mom in her MC on Saturday. She smiled when she saw me but really lit up when she saw "the boy" (she doesn't remember his name). She reached out and gave him a big hug, something uncharacteristic of her these last few years. We played a simple color matching game (he played on her "team" for…
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Mom with Dementia, Dad can’t take care of her alone anymore
Hi I am Carol and I am new here. My Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia about 4 years ago. She has has a slow decline since the beginning of this year and I reached out to palliative care for help. Mom is 81 and Dad is 84 and not I. The greatest condition to be caring for her alone. She fell in April, broke her…
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Supplements?
Hi All, This is my 2nd question here I’m posting. Knowing now that my dad has dementia, I’m now interested in taking any conceivable preventative actions to benefit myself. To my knowledge there are (at least) 2 well-known OTC Memory Supplements on the market. One of them is Prevagen and I’m not sure offhand the name of…
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Got a few days off - almost - Credit Fraud attempts
Well with the support of the folks at my LO's MC and my wonderful son, I got to go away for a couple of days. Everyone promised to be extra vigilant and it just about worked. But … I got a call from a bank verifying that we were opening a charge account or taking out a loan. So I was able to shut that down and was on pins…
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Teaching mom about dementia
My mom has been primary caretaker for my dad with vascular dementia. I had to teach her how to talk to dad. She tends to want to explain things to him as if he can comprehend everything she says. My dad can't be convinced logically and my mom needs to practice different ways to communicate without upsetting him. There have…
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Dad with Dementia
Hi All, I'm new here. I don't know where to begin. I'm honestly not really that close to my dad (my parents have been divorced since the early 1980's). My younger sister lives in another state, and is not very close either. Neither of us are now (we both tried to be during our teens, but it was challenging). Both of our…
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bedtime games
Hello everyone ,I am shannon , nice to meet you. I take care of my 83 yr. old mother whom has dementia. She is in late stages where you really cannot have a conversation with her , she uses word salads , etc…but she gets wht you say to her , for the most part, sort of . She is still at home, I live here with her and am…
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Mom's In Good Hands
I pray a lot to God that my Mom is comfortable at her NH with all the CNA's and nurses. Today when I visited my Mom, she was being cleaned up by a CNA that I know for 8 years since my Mom has been in the same NH. My Mom was singing and laughing and so was the CNA. I stayed outside her room and listened. It was really an…
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Helpful friend or not?
My 84 yo mother beginning late stage ALZ talks to her only friend on her phone constantly. The friend is younger than her and I don’t know her. Supposedly this is someone she’s known for over 10 years. This friend seems to believe my mother’s stories of life with me. That I steal from her, don’t take her out , lock her in…
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Struggling
I just moved my mother out of independent living to assisted. In the week since, she is increasingly paranoid and combative. She blames me for most things. She also is increasingly unable to use her laptop and phone. She calls all night and then yells at me. I turn off my phone but it eventually I need to deal with it. She…
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Grieving and Planning
Hello All- My first post ever. I am 40 years old and moved in to help my father 78 who was diagnosed with alz in 2020-- but had been declining for over a decade. He has really progressed and is incontinent, very weak, and disoriented. He recently had a fall in the shower and we had to call 911 for a lift assist-- it was…
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Only Child of Parent with Alzheimer’s
I am really struggling with kindness vs. truth. Finally tried telling a story and it backfired. I am 53 and my father died in 2021. My mother has Alzheimer’s and was just moved from independent living to assisted. She is so mean to me. Really have a hard time with this. Was never a mama’s girl. Dad hung the moon. Just so…