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I’m so lost - mother is 90, English is a second language
I am so lost. My father recently passed away - somewhat unexpectedly - and, as an only child, am left to care for my 90 year old mother. I had not realized just how bad her short-term memory loss had gotten (dad never said) and I suspect she has onset dementia, She refuses to talk to a doctor or anyone about her mental…
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Mom is afraid to stay alone with Dad
Hi, my Dad has dementia. I think he's in the middle stages (gets angry, hallucinates, thinks the bank is stealing from him). Couple of days he had an episode and woke up at 3:30 a.m. Left the house and told my mom if she doesn't move, he will hit her. Thank God my aunt was there and went after him. He returned but was…
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Mom and Dad with Alzheimer’s
About a year ago, my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Last week, so was my dad. They live independently together about 15 minutes from me, my husband and our 15 year old son. We knew something was wrong long before Dad’s diagnosis…but by the time we got his cooperation and finally got him to a doctor as a new patient,…
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Top of stairs gate
Hi Everyone! This is my first post. I live with my mom. She has moderate to severe AD. We will be living in a home with stairs. Any suggestions on keeping her upstairs, while we all sleep? I have read a 42” gate is appropriate. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you.
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Anyone have any luck with washable adult diapers?
Hello, Few hours till 2025 here in the east coast, but Alzheimer's doesn't care. It goes on. We're spending a fortune on adult diapers as my LO pees constantly throughout the day given the special nutrition therapy she's on. It keeps her hydrated and well-nourished, and calm, but… it makes her pee constantly. Changing 5 or…
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Advice on phone calls
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Therapist or counsellor
Hi there, my wife’s mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She is understandably finding it emotionally tough. Could anyone recommend a therapist who specialises in this (for my wife)? Many thanks in advance
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How often do you visit?
I made the mistake of visiting my mom (every other day) the first time she was placed in a nursing home. It just kept her from acclimating and each time I visited her she thought I was taking her home. It was doing her more harm than good. So, this time around (I took her out of the nursing home but had to put her back in…
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Mom isn't talking to me
Hi, I'm new to this. Mom was diagnosed earlier this year with stage 3 Alzheimer's. I was caregiving for her. I had to stop because it was affecting my mental health. Mom is mad and hasn't talked to me for several months. I use to talk to her every morning. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with this? Did…
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Downsizing from Assisted Living to Memory Care
My FIL is currently in a one-bedroom apartment in assisted living. Unfortunately, his dementia has progressed to the point where it is time for him to transition to memory care in the same facility. (In addition to general decline, he has become combative and aggressive.) His memory care room will be much smaller than his…
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Rehab versus hospice
My 91 year old Mom is somewhere between late stage 5 and early stage 6. She was fairly stable for the past year, but I (and her caregivers in memory care) saw a precipitous decline over the past couple of months. She has completely lost her appetite and is eating very little. Even her former favorite sweets have no appeal.…
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Driving
So, Dad's been living with Vascular Dementia and the beginnings of Alzheimers since 2023. HIs short term memory is gone and his ability to cook is gone as well. With me myself and I as his POA, I pay his bills( I provoide him with his junk mail and solicitations) which he syas h e has to pay and sits it in a pile. When he…
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Did I Give Up Too Soon?
Following a violent outburst (mom attacked her in home caregiver) when she had a UTI, I made the difficult decision to place mom in MC. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. She is more lucid than the other residents in her MC, but 'loops' verbally a lot, and it is clear that there's significant decline within the past 3 months. I am…
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Dealing with the 'loss' of my mother
Hi all. Very new to this. My mother (57) has just been officially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. We've been noticing it for the past 2 years, but only recently has she been given a diagnosis. Unfortunately, because of her age, it's progressing pretty rapidly. I'm pretty young (24) and just had my first daughter 2…
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Has anyone had to make the decision for their parent to move to assisted living?
Hi. I'm new here. My mom has been living w/dementia and officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few months ago. She lives alone in her own home but my sister who lives nearby has supposed to have been helping her out with routine things. (Sister lives 10 minutes away, is not working, is health care proxy and primary POA.)…
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Where do you find support?
I am caring for my mom who is only 74. She had an episode that resulted with her moving in with us while we get her into someplace more appropriate for her needs. Since coming to our home she has improved in many ways. Through this experience, I find that I am struggling to understand her diagnosis. The way that her…
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My mom refuses help
My mother has been in decline for about 10 years, probably, but we’ve only just started to notice major decline in the last few years. My mother refuses to get diagnosed and has been very stubborn with regard to accepting help from anyone other than her husband. And even with him she pushes back. Self-care has deteriorated…
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Phone calls
Probably an insane question, but is there a phone service available for my mom to call and talk to random people? I know this sounds silly but I would love for her to be able to speak to other people going through what she is going through. If not, we need to create one!
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Managing bowels
Hi. Any suggestions on how to help mom keep track of bowel movements? A chart or calendar in the bathroom? Thanks.
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Mom’s negative trigger
My mom has had vascular dementia since 2020. For many years I was my mom’s main caregiver until we moved her to AL. For the past year she still resides at the same facility but now with a live in aide. I live near my mom 6 months out of the year, and out of state the other 6. When I’m in the area I visit my mom 2 to 3 days…
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Paranoia/Delusions While On Donezepil and Now Memantine?
Hi, all, Long story short, my mom took Donezepil and Sertraline for about a month earlier this year. Her cognitive abilities improved, and we were psyched. And then…she started having paranoia and delusions, nightmares, and something like a psychotic break happened. Her doctors didn't think that Donezepil was the cause,…
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How do you deal with the guilt?
Hello everyone. I recently found this forum and have been reading a little here and there. My mother was diagnosed with Dementia back in 2018, or 2019. Type or cause is unknown, although there is evidence of a small stroke. I, their only child, was living far away and Dad took care of Mom. Then Dad went through a round of…
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Asst Living-VS-??
We recently placed my mother in an Assisted Living facility. She had a heart attack and the doctors said “she can’t live alone anymore, we don’t believe she is managing meds correctly among other things.” And honestly, they were right and we were already on this path, this just sped it up. Physically, she is fine. But we…
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Idk what I’m looking for
This time last year my 72 year old mom moved into AL. 4 months later we moved her into MC in a closer facility. She was doing ‘ok’ overall. (Not sure stage but she is able to walk, can shower herself with encouragement but lots of resistance, remembers us but with confusion. wears pads). Diagnosed with Alzheimers. she’s…
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Care Home Referral/Search resources
New here, both to this discussion board and to the situation. My father has moderate and rapidly progressing dementia (Alzheimer’s). Previously he was very compliant, but this continuing decline has brought out a strong, stubborn streak in addition to everything else. My siblings and I think it is time for memory care. He…
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Mom Now Living With Us
Hello all. I am new here and wanted to give some background on our journey so far. I am looking for any guidance or anyone in a similar stage of life to talk to. I really am struggling mentally and emotionally. My mom is 81 with late moderate dementia (Vascular and Alzheimers, defined as stage 6f on the FAST scale.) I also…
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Navigating Alzheimer’s Risk While Caring for Both Kids & a Parent—How Are You Coping?
Hi everyone, I’m in my 40s, raising kids, and also caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s. My mom has APOE4 x2. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what this means for my own future—both emotionally and proactively. I recently started looking into early detection tests, including: • APOE4 genetic testing • Blood biomarker…
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Phone Scams
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Mom incompetent
I have DPOA of mom. So far I'm doing everything for her and act on her behalf. However I'm scared that she might be angry towards me if I do something against her will. She might want to revoke the DPOA. The only was to secure the DPOA is to confirm Mom is incompetent and can't make rational decisions. I just had Mom visit…