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New Here - I'm Overwhelmed with Guilt That I Am Not Responding to Her Concerns Appropriately
Hi All, I am new here and thought I could seek some guidance from others in the same situation. I am the POA (and medical poa - whatever that is called) for my 82 year old aunt who is in a MCF. She has no spouse, children, or siblings (both brothers passes away in the last year) - so my husband and I are it. I'm not sure…
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Hospital stay - now what?
My mom (72) has been in MC since August. Minimum assistance w ADLs. Took her to ER on Saturday bc Flu and low BP. They admitted her to monitor her heart rate, oxygen, dehydration and kidney function. Pretty much was severely dehydrated which caused the acute kidney injury and low blood pressure. She’s stable but wheezing.…
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Mom stopped walking, starting hospice consultation
I’m exhausted. Mom moved in with us 2.5 months ago. We rehabilitated her after a failed rehab stay following a hospitalization. But she’s declining. Hospice support sounds promising because I need more help. She stopped walking today due to intense pain in her bad hip, but she also shuffles/drags her feet so maybe it’s…
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I wrote this essay to help others after losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's.
After losing my father to a long battle with Alzheimer's, I wrote this essay to help people navigate through the devastating journey of having a loved one with Alzheimer's, because it is the family and those closest to the individual with the disease who bear the greatest burden. Most people find themselves thrust into…
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Dad is new to community and NOT going well HELP!!
My dad was moved to MC. We are moving him to a closer community that has residents at his level - walkies-talkies. But he is having a hard time adjusting. He is not eating and tells us he wants to come home. He ended up in MC bc he left to find the bus to take him home. He is not drinking his cranberry juice, eating meals…
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Arguments that seem impossible to stop
Hi, alright I am new on this and taking care of my 72 year old mother. Are there any simple ways to get a person with dementia to stop arguing? Once my mother gets mad it seems impossible to get her to even attempt to think of something different. She likes to just make it seem like I have ruined her entire life and no…
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Did I Give Up Too Soon?
Following a violent outburst (mom attacked her in home caregiver) when she had a UTI, I made the difficult decision to place mom in MC. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. She is more lucid than the other residents in her MC, but 'loops' verbally a lot, and it is clear that there's significant decline within the past 3 months. I am…
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Memory Friendly Phone
does anyone have a recommendation for a phone? I’ve looked at a brand called Raz. It looks good online but would love everyone’s input/experience. thank you
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Diagnosis questions
I mentioned in my first thread that I'm not a primary caregiver for my MIL, but I want to try to be informed and helpful when I do interact with her. What I'm curious about is the diagnosis of dementia, from a qualified medical professional. My sister-in-law has medical power-of-attorney for my MIL, and she and her husband…
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MIL Needs Help But Has No Official Diagnosis - We Need Doctor to Come to Her
My MIL regularly does not recognize her family, has no short term memory and appears to be creating false memories, no longer knows how to do things like use a phone, is frequently hostile, thinks people live in her house, has wandered, no longer wants to bathe - I could go on and on - the problem is that she has always…
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Separating Mom & Dad
Hi y'all. My sister and I are navigating next steps for Mom and Dad. They both have ALZ. Mom is much further along in her journey, she is 80. Dad is 87. They are both in AL but Mom's needs have grown significantly and Dad prevents the caregivers from coming in due to privacy and pride. His sense of logic is dwindling and…
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Put Mom in MC - Feeling Guilty
Yesterday I pur my 89 year old Mother in MC. I am feeling so guilty, like I failed her. I got her there under the guise of meeting a friend, then I just left her. I had ask the staff while preparing her room about leaving phones and tablets for her, they said leave it. Last evening my mom start posting things on Facebook…
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Timeline
Took my mom to her appointment on Thursday and we were given an estimate of how long we have with her and I just don’t believe it. She still walks and talks. Yes, she needs care with showing and toileting and only sometimes how to eat. But has so much personality still. Has anyone ever got an estimate and how accurate was…
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Recently Widowed Dad With Mild Dementia
Hey Folks, I'm new to the forum. It was recommended to me by a help line here in Michigan. My dad has had 2 strokes within the past 10 years and this has resulted in some mild dementia. It comes and goes, but he's usually fairly sharp. It manifests itself in strange ways like hygiene, eating mannerisms and a bit of…
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My dad has dementia and my mom who was his caregiver justpassed away.
I am struggling to support my dad who has dementia and is declining. My mom was his caregiver and she recently passed away after a 4 year bout with Pancreatic Cancer. My dad keeps forgetting she died and my brother and I have to retell him over and over. He gets very distraught but then eventually forgets again. He asks…
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How many years did or has your loved one lived in a facility?
I was told that a typical stay in memory care is 2-3 years. This surprised me because this would indicate that either people are coming from assisted living or somehow families are caring for their loved ones at home. Granted the cost of assisted living and memory care is so high so any care option is hard. I wonder…
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Dad removes depends during night
Hi, I am new to this. My father is dealing with dementia. He's 80 years old. My mom is 82. I live here with them. What's brought me here is that I'm looking for any suggestions. My dad, during the night is removing his Depends briefs. This is something new as of this week. They will be on the floor or nightstand. My mom is…
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Dad has moderate alzheimers
I knew he been off but I scheduled an assessment w his doctor and he was so mad when I told the doc about his sun downing; hallucinations; aggression; and now he won’t do his blood work or brain scan before we can go see his neurologist to confirm where he’s at w Alzheimer’s but where would I even start as far as getting…
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How does hospice work with MC and MC services?
This is not urgent. This is me trying to get educated before I need it. I realized that I don't understand how hospice works with MC and how it effects or supplements or takes the place of the services that the MC provides. And how does hospice interact with care levels and care level charges as the PWD becomes less mobile…
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How to deal with a spouse who won't advocate for your parent with Dementia
My mother's husband is standing in the way of every suggestion I have that would help my mother stay active and deal with some important things that are affecting her because of her dementia. She is still kind, social, funny, can hold great conversations, remember lots of things, and in my opinion needs help with some…
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New to All of This
Hello, I am a 30 year old female daughter of a mother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's on 12/20/24. I have known something was wrong and have been fighting for this diagnosis for over a year and now she is already in the moderate/middle stage of Alzheimers. This entire world is new to me and I just gave up my career…
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Rapid Mental Decline in My 65-Year-Old Mother: Desperate for Diagnosis and Long-Term Care Solutions
Hello, I’m looking for guidance about how to get help for my mother, who has experienced rapid mental deterioration over the past year with a cycle of repeated hospitalizations and psychiatric decompensation at home. The situation is placing an unsustainable level of strain on my mother, father and the rest of our family.…
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Moving Mom to assisted living details overwhelming
Mercy. I am going back and forth with moving Mom with dementia to assisted living or memory care. Now she is home alone. I come every three days to clean her diabetic wounds. My two adult children have mental/emotional challenges; so help is sporadic. I was offered Social Worker options for assisted living using her…
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New here
Good morning everyone. I finally took the step for myself. Talking to someone else about what is happening in my life right now and them knowing how I feel. It’s hard to tell someone who don’t know this disease to every understand. Hopefully I can remember this tool and utilize it. Well, my name is Mia. I been caring for…
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Roller Coaster/Long Distance
Edited - attempt to clarify questions New here. I am a 6 hour drive from my parent's, currently able to visit about monthly. Can't count the trips in the last two years. Only child ( with a thankfully helpful spouse). Mother with MD > VD + light AD from the primary diagnosis. She is in hospice care and likely LS by…
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What did the initial drop off to memory care look like?
how did you get your loved one to memory care? Apparently pretty much no one wants to go. How did you get them in the door and what did you tell them when you dropped them off? How many people knew about the plan? I'm concerned my parent will call me everyone including people we haven't told about the placement. How long…
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Programs for late stages
My mom is 74 in we are told she’s in the late stages of Alzheimer’s. She has started having issues swallowing. She can no longer follow conversation. She just tells you the same stories. She is still verbal but just can’t find the right words. She can barely answer questions without being confused. We have to help with…
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Supporting both parents
Both my parents (79 and 78) live with us in their own attached apartment. My mom (79) is in the very early stages and is still very active. My dad is struggling with her memory changes and becomes angry and frustrated with her. I am looking for how best to support my dad wand how best to support myself as we navigate this…
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How To Talk To Mom Resisting Help?
My mom has dementia and my dad is primary caregiver with my siblings and I supporting. She can’t be alone for long ( leaves stove on, wanders into neighbors apartment etc) so we plan to alternate working from their apartment once a week for 3 or 4 hours so dad can leave and get a break. Any ideas on how we present it ? She…
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Dementia acceptance
New here. My mother has moderate stage of dementia but does not believe or accept that she has it. She was diagnosed about 3 years ago and now believes she just has bad short term memory due to being 82 years old. She has transitioned from being angry and mean to making up false memories and rearranging the house every…