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Sad and caring formy mom 4 years
I'm new here. I've been caring for my 85 year old mom who was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimers in 2021. She just started asking about her mom, my grandmother every night, who I also cared for when I was a teenager right out of high school when my mom was working back in the early 1980's. My grandmother passed away in…
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feeling frustrated, alone with problematic family
To start; I'm 44, currently living in Colorado. My mom was diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 63 with early onset. I signed her up for medical trials, the first round did really well and was helping until it was de-funded. Tried again with another one, that treatment didn't take at all. She has obviously gotten worse as there…
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Mom new to nursing home
Hello, I’m new here. My mom, who is about to turn 85, was just recently moved into nursing home as a short-term rehab patient but will transition to long term due to dementia. I’m looking for guidance how to speak to her as she keeps asking when is she going home. She has an iPad to communicate and I am getting upsetting…
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When is it time for MC?
I know this question always comes up, but I need some help thinking through this for my mom and would greatly appreciate input from those who have had to make this decision before me! About my mom: she was diagnosed last summer and still lives alone. Based on her last exam, mom's neurologist says she is still early stage,…
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New here
I'm brand new to this whole disease. My mom is 87 and having horrible hallucinations and delusions. I want to know what kind of doctor to take her to. The general physician knows but hasn't really been much help. Do I need a neurologist, a psychiatrist, or what? I'm so nervous about this that I'm losing sleep .I want my…
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Questions about end of life
Hey everybody. This is my first post. I’m curious to get an idea if my mom’s sudden crying, lack of communication ability, not being able to walk, is truly a sign of the beginning of End of Life. She still eats well, has no ailments(besides the obvious), and the memory care unit is saying she’s sleeping well. Any advice or…
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Where do We Go From Here
I live in the east & my sister in the southwest. Our mother, 79, lives alone in the midwest. In May, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The plan was to move her to my sister's place this fall; everyone agreed it was the best place for her to go. In June, my mother started changing for the worst. First, she unpacked…
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Dad with UTI
Yesterday, my mom called me and told me dad got nauseous and threw up shortly after breakfast. He fell and couldn't get off the floor. My mom called hospice and they called 911 to just pick him off the floor and onto his bed. When I came over, my dad was on the floor again next to his bed. He tried to get out of bed to his…
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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Just need an emotional release
The evenings are bad for me. I miss my mom. I miss sitting here with her, enjoying TV on the couch, and being close to her. I miss being her daughter. I know, I know. I still am at some level, but everything has changed so quickly. I've had to do so much in such a short period of time. Decided she needed to go to the ER,…
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How to find a doctor to do capacity assessment for DPOA
We've been dealing with Mom's dementia for a while now, and we really need to activate her DPOA. It requires us to get an assessment from two "licensed physicians." Problem: I called Mom's doctor, and they had no clue. The office people don't think the doctor has ever done that. I don't know what kind of a process I need…
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Siblings involvement in parental care
Does anyone who is caring for their parents have siblings who choose not to be involved and how do you deal with it?
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Behavior change in dad, how to help?
My dad is 80yo, ALZ/VD and in AL. He is stage 5 (DBAT) and so far has always known who I am. My husband, son, dog and I stopped in to visit him. He was sitting in one of the common areas. We came in and said “hello!”, and I let him know it was me (just in case). He looked crossly at all of us and said “I want to be alone.”…
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Emotional Abuse
Hi there, This is my first post and, I'm really desperate for help or advice. I am moving cross country to care for and support my mother who was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's (though, I think this has been progressing over the last several years). I am doing everything I can to help her and it never seems like enough or…
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Medication Help
A few years ago before my mom had a confirmed diagnosis of ALZ, she was started on Lexapro 20mg, then namenda and aricept. She’s been in AL for 3 months. Geriatric Psych at the facility added on Wellbutrin 8 weeks ago bc of depression/apathy. 2 weeks ago she started Xanax .25mg 3/day bc of her aggression/anxiety. She…
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New here and just feeling defeated and depressed and alone
Hi I'm new here...I just feel so hopeless and depressed...My Mom was diagnosed 2 yrs ago with Alz...I've been taking turns with my sister going up home to take care of her..when I leave I feel so depressed and like I am abandoning her and can't wait to go back in another 3 months....no one understands...of course my sister…
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New here and looking for tips
Hi, My mom, now 63, was diagnosed with Early onset. The symptoms became evident rapidly after May of last year. Honestly, I came to this forum shortly after that time in an effort to learn as much as possible and was instantly depressed by what I had been reading and felt like "I can't do this right now." Now, about a year…
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Level of Care
So in considering what kind of facility my mom needs, and as part of the Medicaid approval process, do they assess how much care she needs to know where to place her? This may be a stupid question, but as I search the few MC facilities in our area that accept Medicaid, they all seem like the patients are VERY high need. My…
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Mom With EOAD Lacks Motivation
Hi, I’m grateful to have come across this resource. Last year, my mother (60 years old at the time) was diagnosed with EOAD. While the diagnosis came as a shock for someone of her age, we were noticing a decline in her cognitive functions, particular with regards to time (not knowing what day it is, showing up to to…
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Insomnia due to caregiver burnout
If you have experienced insomnia due to caregiver stress and burnout, how did you fix it? I havent been able to sleep in two weeks and I am very concerned. I know not sleeping is bad so please do not tell me the dangers, just tell me solutions if you have any! I have already tried: melatonin sleep aids, non-melatonin sleep…
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Loneliness
Hi! I've been caring for my Mom for over eight years. She's now in late/severe stage which has it's challenges but things are more calm now. It is hard to find caregivers & I do not "get out" enough; we are somewhat forgotten. I am tired. The days/weeks/years fly by. So… I thought I'd say "hello, we are alive." Take care,…
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Put Mom in MC - Feeling Guilty
Yesterday I pur my 89 year old Mother in MC. I am feeling so guilty, like I failed her. I got her there under the guise of meeting a friend, then I just left her. I had ask the staff while preparing her room about leaving phones and tablets for her, they said leave it. Last evening my mom start posting things on Facebook…
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Move done , blocked phone
Well the move went well as planned into AL. She seemed happy , all be it tired after all the activity she’s not been used to. We did have an issue with the room mate. Per the director the roommate understood the common areas would be shared but she wasn’t going to have it. Thank goodness her family paid for a single suite…
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Eating
I am beginning to suspect that my mom is not getting enough food. She will often put the majority of her food either in the fridge or back in the pan it was cooked in. She refuses food sometimes as well, claiming that she's not hungry, but not having any food all day. We don't have a kitchen table that we can sit down at…
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Request assistance n guidance
My mom is a dementia patient and she is 79 years old. Your checklist on stages of dementia has been extremely helpful to me. 2 months back I got her back home from Australia ( she was staying with my brother for 1 year) and in 2 months there has been a rapid decline in her health. I believe she has declined fro. Stage 5 to…