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Feeling Guilty
Both my father and mother entered a nursing home a few months ago. I stop by each week to visit them. Its so clear they are unhappy there. They look at it as a huge loss to their freedom. The staff tell them what do - "sit here" "sit there". They are adults but treated like children sometimes. I feel terribly guilty and…
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Interview a doctor?
Hello, Nice to meet you all- I'm looking to pick a new primary or geriatric spanish speaking doc for my Mom (75) with early alzheimers when open enrollment happens for Medicare. But, I wish there was a way to interview them first before making them her doctor. Is that a thing? Is it weird to do that? Do people do that?…
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We need guidance 🙏
We moved my MIL (83alz) out of her state and into our home in a different state 9 months ago. She is mid-late stage and still physically capable. She obsesses over 2 specific things and we haven’t been able to redirect or stop it. 1- she thinks she needs to go to the bathroom constantly. She goes back and forth from one…
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Here's a new one I wasn't ready for
Dad was diagnosed with VD and onsight AZ almost 4 years ago. He has been in AL for the past 6 months awaiting "home renovations" and plans to move into the home when finished (depending on the day and time of course as it changes daily for him). He's doing really well and 99% of the time he absolutely loves it and the…
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Similar ?
I’m in my 40s, unemployed due to disability, and living with my 93-year-old adopted mother, who is in the late stages of vascular dementia. I don’t have children, friends, or a partner, so she is truly all I have. It’s painful and frightening to watch her decline, and I often feel crushed by the thought of what life will…
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Father getting worse
I have an 82 year old father who is diagnosed. He has recently undergone chemo and radiation. He has gotten increasingly delusional and agitated. We have been associating it with the drugs. But he is so angry and lost. He cannot have a conversation now and is extremely abusive about things that do not exist. Is this normal…
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Rapid decline since moving to assisted living/memory care
Hi! My dad was being cared for by his partner of 5 years. She recently needed surgery and we moved him to assisted living / memory care facility. He has been there for a week and we have noticed a rapid decline in his mobility (was walking with a walker) but now spending more time in a wheelchair. He has no prior history…
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CCRC forcing LO move from independent to MC
My LO with VD lives in a CCRC in an independent home with 24 hour care. On waitlist for MC. My sister and I took her for “lunch” when opening came up. We decided not to place her in MC and continue with 24 hr care. CCRC has called us in for meeting saying they are concerned with LO’s safety. CCRC says she has to move to MC…
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New Job Offer & Whether To Move
I’m from NY and moved me and mom to Florida four years ago. I applied to a nationwide job and the NY office interviewed me During interview they said: we have offices in Manhattan, Suffolk, and Newburgh. Which do you prefer. They also asked if I preferred to be transferred to recruiting for the Miami office. I said…
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Need Reassurance
Mom had to go to the hospital on Monday because of pain in her hip and couldn’t get out of bed. She did not have a break but has a high grade tear in her hamstring and complete tear in one of her butt muscles. She has mid level Alzheimer’s and that is making things 100 times worse. Every time the nurses move her leg she…
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Hospice and the Just Right Mattress
Hello. Caring for a loved one brings so many learning curves. For those who are dealing with so many questions and so few answers, don't give up! My mother is in late stages and has a bed from hospice that allows air circulation. Unfortunately, half of the inflatable "tube," every other one, has deflated. My siblings and I…
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Sleeping or lack there of
My mother has been only averaging 2-4 hours a night. We’ve tried Melatonin and Zzzquil for extended periods and both don’t seem to work. Does anyone have any better solutions that have been helpful? Fyi she hates tea (we tried the sleepy time and Chamomile). I was debating on consulting her doctor on trying low dose…
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Ready to throw the towel in
Brief update: Dad was diagnosed 3+ years ago with VD and onset Alz. He has now been in ASL for 6 months and discussions are being made for the move toward MC. I'm his POA. I've posted about his 2 sisters resisting any directives made by me and they have been sent a cease and desist letter 3 months ago but, still manage to…
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Elderly Aunt....Recent Diagnosis and Home Care Challenges
Hi All, I could use some perspective/guidance/support on our current situation. My sister and I have noticed for some time that our aunt has memory issues, plus a host of other challenges. She has no kids of her own. She was not caring for herself (skipping or cancelling dr apts, not taking or refilling meds, not…
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New diagnosis but extreme condition
Hello everyone, I truly hope and pray for each one of you who is either dealing with this disease personally or has a loved one affected by such a painful condition. I sincerely wish for your strength and that your difficult journey becomes easier. I can relate to your struggles; my mother was diagnosed with dementia last…
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Not Sure What To Do -- Feeling Overwhelmed and Trapped
Hi Again, I care for my mom who has Alzheimer's dementia. She is somewhat independent (own apartment) but can't do grocery shopping, pay bills, remember to take the dog out, go to doctor appointments, etc. I do all of these things for her. I feel absolutely trapped. I used to not only travel often, but also live abroad and…
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Adult Daycare?
Do any adult children caring for parents use adult daycare? In the past year my dad has lost 25 pounds and his memory is rapidly declining. Excessive outbursts anger. Also experiencing fatigue and anxiety. My mom manages this with my help. It has been effecting my mom to be the constant security blanket for him. Do others…
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Some info on elder law attorney fees
An excerpt from Forbes magazine that came across my feed. Hiring An Elder Law Attorney Sorry, scroll back to slide 1 of 7 to start article.
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Mom and Stepdad diagnosed with dementia, Mom and 1 sibling in Denial
This is my first post. I feel overwhelmed. My mom has always been very selfish, conniving, and manipulative. There are 4 kids; sibling R is the golden child (we know it, she knows it). Several months ago mom and her husband were involved in several scams that they carefully hid from us. According to their bank records they…
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Relative and Finance Issues
Thank you for the responses! I really appreciate the advice and support!
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Newly Diagnosed Parent with Dementia - Feel Stressed and Overwhelmed
My 80 year old mother was diagnosed with early Dementia earlier this year. She is also bipolar (diagnosed 30 years ago). It has become very difficult lately as she thinks she does not have dementia - she has forgotten the diagnosis from her neurologist. She told me yesterday her psychiatrist told her she doesn't have it.…
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Mom 89 has alz dementia is having anger and agression
Mom was diagnosed about a year ago and is now having anger and agression issues. She's taking medication for the moods but its not cutting it. She has good minute and bad minutes and back to good again. I was going to say good days but felt that wasnt correct. I believe she is still capable to shower and take care of her…
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Rehoming
How do I help my mother understand she is living with me now and can no longer go home?
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Using or borrowing person with incapacitated persons car
I am my parents with dementia poa and they are officially incapacitated and in memory care. I am cleaning out condo. We're donating most stuff, shipping other stuff. she has a nearly new nice car. She has said "take my car. It's new and very safe." can I legally take her car for my personal use in a different state than…
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Father keeps asking where my mother is...
I'm sure this has been addressed many times previously, but I just signed up today. So I'll ask. I moved my 85-year-old parents into a personal care facility 4 months ago. My mother needed the extra care, but my father was fine even though he was in the throes of dementia. My mother passed away after 3 weeks in the…
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Looking for ideas to a rather specific situation re: mom obsessing
Hi - We moved my mom into AL back in May. She has moderate mid-stage AD and, although she had been living in her own home until then, I had started living with her part time because she was afraid at night and starting to struggle with keeping up the house, etc. The facility we chose has a step up program called "Bridges"…
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Losing patience
My brother who has power of attorney just brought documents for my mother to sign to receive some payouts from life insurance and the military. Since yesterday afternoon she believes that she got a deposit and has been pestering me about paperwork. I suffer chronic illness. I provided care for my stepdad as he died of…
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Helping Mom Get Help
Hello! This is my first post here and I’m glad to have found this group. Mom is is assisted living and will soon be transitioning to memory care. There’s a lot to that which I will unpack later. My immediate focus is that I have added showering and dressing support to her care list. She can physically do both, but doesn’t…
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At home caregiver help
Hello All! I am looking into hiring a helper for the weekdays for my Mom. I feel like she needs more attention than we can give her. What kind of questions should I ask a potential helper? I am meeting with a facility that hires out helpers this Saturday. I have vetted the company itself as much as I can online. I am…
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Alzheimer's and Finances
My 84-YO dad has Alzheimer's and is living independently still. He lives close to me, so I see him every day. As most of our loved ones, my dad does not recognize he has a memory problem. I am his POA, Guardian, etc., but he honestly doesn't remember us putting all that in place years ago. How did everyone take over the…