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Reappearance of distanced siblings
My Father was diagnosed with VD with onset AL 4 years ago. I took over as POA due to a broken unrepairable bridge between my Sister the former POA, and Dad. I've learned so much about their former relationship in the last 4 years and frankly, I wish I woud have found out sooner in order to rescue Dad. She kept him in the…
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Rehab versus hospice
My 91 year old Mom is somewhere between late stage 5 and early stage 6. She was fairly stable for the past year, but I (and her caregivers in memory care) saw a precipitous decline over the past couple of months. She has completely lost her appetite and is eating very little. Even her former favorite sweets have no appeal.…
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Driving
So, Dad's been living with Vascular Dementia and the beginnings of Alzheimers since 2023. HIs short term memory is gone and his ability to cook is gone as well. With me myself and I as his POA, I pay his bills( I provoide him with his junk mail and solicitations) which he syas h e has to pay and sits it in a pile. When he…
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Did I Give Up Too Soon?
Following a violent outburst (mom attacked her in home caregiver) when she had a UTI, I made the difficult decision to place mom in MC. Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. She is more lucid than the other residents in her MC, but 'loops' verbally a lot, and it is clear that there's significant decline within the past 3 months. I am…
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Dealing with the 'loss' of my mother
Hi all. Very new to this. My mother (57) has just been officially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. We've been noticing it for the past 2 years, but only recently has she been given a diagnosis. Unfortunately, because of her age, it's progressing pretty rapidly. I'm pretty young (24) and just had my first daughter 2…
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Has anyone had to make the decision for their parent to move to assisted living?
Hi. I'm new here. My mom has been living w/dementia and officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few months ago. She lives alone in her own home but my sister who lives nearby has supposed to have been helping her out with routine things. (Sister lives 10 minutes away, is not working, is health care proxy and primary POA.)…
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Where do you find support?
I am caring for my mom who is only 74. She had an episode that resulted with her moving in with us while we get her into someplace more appropriate for her needs. Since coming to our home she has improved in many ways. Through this experience, I find that I am struggling to understand her diagnosis. The way that her…
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My mom refuses help
My mother has been in decline for about 10 years, probably, but we’ve only just started to notice major decline in the last few years. My mother refuses to get diagnosed and has been very stubborn with regard to accepting help from anyone other than her husband. And even with him she pushes back. Self-care has deteriorated…
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Phone calls
Probably an insane question, but is there a phone service available for my mom to call and talk to random people? I know this sounds silly but I would love for her to be able to speak to other people going through what she is going through. If not, we need to create one!
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Managing bowels
Hi. Any suggestions on how to help mom keep track of bowel movements? A chart or calendar in the bathroom? Thanks.
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Mom’s negative trigger
My mom has had vascular dementia since 2020. For many years I was my mom’s main caregiver until we moved her to AL. For the past year she still resides at the same facility but now with a live in aide. I live near my mom 6 months out of the year, and out of state the other 6. When I’m in the area I visit my mom 2 to 3 days…
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Paranoia/Delusions While On Donezepil and Now Memantine?
Hi, all, Long story short, my mom took Donezepil and Sertraline for about a month earlier this year. Her cognitive abilities improved, and we were psyched. And then…she started having paranoia and delusions, nightmares, and something like a psychotic break happened. Her doctors didn't think that Donezepil was the cause,…
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How do you deal with the guilt?
Hello everyone. I recently found this forum and have been reading a little here and there. My mother was diagnosed with Dementia back in 2018, or 2019. Type or cause is unknown, although there is evidence of a small stroke. I, their only child, was living far away and Dad took care of Mom. Then Dad went through a round of…
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Asst Living-VS-??
We recently placed my mother in an Assisted Living facility. She had a heart attack and the doctors said “she can’t live alone anymore, we don’t believe she is managing meds correctly among other things.” And honestly, they were right and we were already on this path, this just sped it up. Physically, she is fine. But we…
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Idk what I’m looking for
This time last year my 72 year old mom moved into AL. 4 months later we moved her into MC in a closer facility. She was doing ‘ok’ overall. (Not sure stage but she is able to walk, can shower herself with encouragement but lots of resistance, remembers us but with confusion. wears pads). Diagnosed with Alzheimers. she’s…
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Care Home Referral/Search resources
New here, both to this discussion board and to the situation. My father has moderate and rapidly progressing dementia (Alzheimer’s). Previously he was very compliant, but this continuing decline has brought out a strong, stubborn streak in addition to everything else. My siblings and I think it is time for memory care. He…
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Mom Now Living With Us
Hello all. I am new here and wanted to give some background on our journey so far. I am looking for any guidance or anyone in a similar stage of life to talk to. I really am struggling mentally and emotionally. My mom is 81 with late moderate dementia (Vascular and Alzheimers, defined as stage 6f on the FAST scale.) I also…
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Navigating Alzheimer’s Risk While Caring for Both Kids & a Parent—How Are You Coping?
Hi everyone, I’m in my 40s, raising kids, and also caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s. My mom has APOE4 x2. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what this means for my own future—both emotionally and proactively. I recently started looking into early detection tests, including: • APOE4 genetic testing • Blood biomarker…
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Phone Scams
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Mom incompetent
I have DPOA of mom. So far I'm doing everything for her and act on her behalf. However I'm scared that she might be angry towards me if I do something against her will. She might want to revoke the DPOA. The only was to secure the DPOA is to confirm Mom is incompetent and can't make rational decisions. I just had Mom visit…
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Advice please
My mu. Has just been moved to retiment living, as we thought it would be better for her having people around to sit with through the day. The problem we have she is awake most of the night and going out of her flat and knocking on everyone's doors until some one answers. She gets upset and feels lost. She is not using the…
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Personal Hygeine
My father & his wife are in assisted living & have recently resisted showering. I will be approaching the subject with them, but could use any advice you have on how best to approach. I do not live close enough to be onsite to assist on a regular basis.
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Legal Repercussions
Hello, I am new to this site. My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. She was previously diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment. For 5 years I have been paying her bills for her because she asked for help and could no longer do it herself. She still has access to all of her funds and we have only had a couple…
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Elder law appointment
I finally have an appointment with elder law 5/20. The initial consultation is free for 1.5 hrs. I am taking my mom there and discuss her will, setting up a trust fund, Medicaid planning and estate planning. Mom is very concerned about the lawyer fees. I am afraid she will not proceed with the lawyer after the…
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Just need Support - My Dad fell and is in the hospital
Hi- I just need some support at this moment. My dad with dementia fell and smacked his head on the pavement. He now has a traumatic brain injury with bleeding occuring in his brain. I just spoke with him tonight and he sounded so slow when speaking to me that I am worried its now a permanent condition due to the TBI. Just…
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Meeting her in her reality doesn't always work.
Most of the time when my mother says things that aren't true, I can just go along with it and meet her where she is, but how do you handle it when she doesn't recognize my father, and wants to know who the man in her bed is? Or asks where her husband is when he's right there with her. Any advice would be appreciated!
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Don’t know what to do
My mom is 87 and quite stubborn and very mean, uncooperative and vindictive. She has enjoy of her wits about her to know when she’s doing as well as saying things to irritate me. She can say some very mean and hurtful things. This has always been her way like u hit me I’m going to hit you as hard as I can. She has always…
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Impossible Mom
Hello. I've been dealing with my mom for a few years now and am becoming desensitized and hopeless. I'll try and stick to the main details otherwise this will be a book. Background on mom: she'll be 87 in August. She had Lupus for years in the 70s and 80s but went into remission somewhere around the end of the 80's. Back…
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Moving Advice
Hello, My mom was diagnosed with major neuro cognitive disorder in November. She has a follow up with a neurologist for further testing in August. She has no idea that there’s anything wrong with her which is making helping her just impossible for my sister and brother and myself. She is refusing to let one of us be at her…