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Days Out for MC Resident?
My dad has been in MC for about a year and is now about stage 5/6. We have brought him to our house for a meal and a visit of a few hours most weekends in good weather (no overnights). Mostly this has been OK. He likes the food, and hosting him in our home gives me some sense of satisfaction. He has put up very little…
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Assisted living room changes
My mom has been at the assisted living facility since October 2023. She is in a 2-room apartment, which we originally selected due her having 2 senior male dogs. At this point, the dogs are no longer there, and my mom is transitioning from moderate to severe. I was asked by the staff at the facility today how I would feel…
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Diagnosis process
Hello all, I was able to get my mother to be seen by a neuropsychologist for testing recently, which required very careful persuasion and lying to get her there. They now want to make an appointment to go over the results with her. I am considering not doing this and having them just send me the report, if I can get it. My…
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Having trouble crying? Then read this one: The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka
I haven't been on this site for a long time and was moved to post here by this book. Brilliantly written and tightly constructed, Julie takes us on the journey of her mom through her mom's decline. I think it was by chapter 3, I was sobbing, and then weeping at the description of the importance of trees. (I remember how my…
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Hospital woes (long story)
Mom developed another UTI at her MC. After a day of antibiotics, she refused all food, fluids and meds and stopped talking. Her facility sent her to ER and she was admitted. After some IV fluids and one dose of IV antibiotics, she perked up and was almost back to baseline. The hospital was ready to discharge her, but of…
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Alzheimer’s and Sugar
My MIL is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. The disease has progressed slowly (15 years), but she is now firmly in Stage 4. Among other changes in behavior, she has recently begun hoarding food…especially sweet foods. While I know hoarding and hiding is typical, my question is more about her overall diet. My FIL is her…
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One parent diagnosed, one parent…
MY MIL has been diagnosed with a very slow progression of Alzheimer’s. She was diagnosed 15 years ago and is just now reaching Stage 4. By the time the evening arrives, you can definitely see a change not only in reasoning/processing but also in personality. Her husband of the past 40 years is her PCG. He’s a terrific man,…
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Spectrum
Hello, I am a caregiver to an elderly parent. We are in Peterborough, ON. Canada. I am finding it more and more frustrating because my life is on hold. My mother is 92 yrs, and at times appears to be very sharp ("with it") but she does forget a lot, more and more, and I see signs of decline. It is quite challenging because…
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New Here. Sundowner/Hallucinations
My mom cares for my dad at home. I am only 2 miles away and my son and I are their support system. My dad (89yr) has been dealing with sundowners for several months but it is getting worse. Some nights he sleeps ok and some nights he is up and down throughout the night. We learned my mom (84yr) has been sleeping in a…
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Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors
My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the…
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Convincing a parent to use a walker when you can't reason with them
How can I convince my 89-year-old mother to use a walker in the house if I can't be expected to reason with a dementia patient? She has repeatedly rejected the idea over the phone and says she doesn't need one but my daughter who lives with her is insisting she use one after a fall at home that was scary for both of them.…
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Seizures? EEG Negative
Hi all--I'm Lia and new to this discussion group. My mother has moderate/advanced Alzheimer's and this spring she started having what seem like very short (abt 30 second?) seizures. She starts breathing hard, her eyes open really wide/roll back, her head slumps forward, she'll usually cry out that she's going to fall, and…
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Intrusive thought
I am fairly new here. I've posted here and there in response to other people, but saw a post in the "caring for spouse/partner" section that resonated with me. I was born with a life-threatening disorder, which I have miraculously been able to defy the grim reaper's grasp. I have become a disabled R.N and have watched the…
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Summer is coming and mom has a faulty temperature gauge!
My mother, who has moderate dementia, live with us. She frequently complains that she is very cold, so we make sure she has plenty of layers, but summer is coming, and my house is usually very warm even with the air conditioning on. My mother hates the air conditioner. She’ll complain that she senses a wind and demands we…
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How to respond?
A few weeks ago my mom (who has alz and lives in assisted living) had a fit, accused me of starving her, not helping her get food, and treating her badly. She texted my 12yr old that “your mom is treating me like s#^t. I never would have done this to her!” So the next time I was in my mom’s presence I deleted my child’s…
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Selling Mom's Home Using POA When She Seems Lucid
I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally. When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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Could the doctor be wrong about disease stage?
The title says it all. I am wondering if the doctor could be wrong about what stage my mom is at. The last time I took her to an appointment she had one of her better days and I didn’t feel like it was indicative of how she normally is. Doctor said she is borderline between “mild” and “moderate” but I think she is…
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Mom is in so much pain
Saw my mom today,she is in so much discomfort and pain. Just grateful I got to kiss, hug and pray with her next to my sister the real hero who is her main caregiver.
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Refusing to go back to MC when we take her out
we have had to take Mom out for various things and aides took her to AL side for events. Today she refused to go back to MC and got really nasty with the staff about it. My brother had to go and get her calmed down. Any tips for getting your LO back to MC when they resist? I see no signs of mis treatment and we visit…
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Anger
My mom, 73, is diabetic, in congestive heart failure, and dementia. She started having memory issues a few years back following diabetic keto acidosis followed by Covid. Her memory has continued to deteriorate and her regular practitioner has diagnosed dementia, she refuses to see a specialist. She has extreme mood swings…
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The Estate Sale
I have been working on moms house since she was diagnosed two years ago. She is a hoarder. It not just piles of news papers that can go in a dumpster. It’s just everything. Because of the dementia I never know what I will find where. I live an hour away and spent the winter sorting through jewelry, greeting cards( she…
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Loneliness of caregiving
Does anyone else struggle with loneliness as a caregiver? I am single with no children and the principal caregiver for my mom. She is in an independent living facility (for now- she is borderline mild/moderate using the 4 stage model). It’s getting harder to connect with her like I used to and I have nobody else in my life…
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Hospice - am sad - some questions
Edited to make it briefer. My LO/PWD is extremely elderly and her dementia has steadily evolved. She is not eating much and drinking less, is sleeping more, and is using a wheelchair more and more. She has lost weight, is more tired and is very fragile. She seems to still know who I am but who can really tell? A couple of…
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Dealing with anger and frustration
I am an only child caring for my 77 year old mom with Alzheimer’s. Not exactly sure what stage she’s in but it’s estimated she’s had it for over 5 years. My mom and I have always had a difficult relationship and I have no patience when because of her short term memory loss she argues with me over things that she says…
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What’s your opinion of Aricept?
My mom was given Aricept by her PCP when she was first diagnosed but was taken off it due to side effects. I know she had blood in her stool but I don’t know what else. The PCP told me that she could have tried again but confessed that at the time she just wasn’t taking it that seriously. We no longer see her. Fast forward…
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My Mom has Dementia and now hates my Father
Hello! I'm new here. My Mom has dementia and directs all her anger at my father. He is a wonderful, patient man that takes care of her everyday (we are currently trying to get her into assisted living). She calls me everyday bashing him about how he takes all her clothes, pushes her around and throws out all her important…
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Sleep walking or hallucinations
My father (74) was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this year. We started him on 2 medications which actually made him more confused and have since taken him off. I’m devastated because he is declining and fast and I can’t understand if this is normal. My main question is he has been sleep talking a lot and will wake up and…
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Recently Admitted Father to MC, and wondering if it gets easier
Hi, I'm pretty new to the discussions here. Last week, my father was taken by ambulance to the hospital due to a heart issue he had at a McDonalds at 6AM. When he was admitted to the hospital, it was obvious to the staff that he should no longer be living alone. I believed he could go on living by himself, thinking that…
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Moving Mom to a Facility
Hello. It has come time to move mom into MC. She has visited quite a few times and enjoys it when we're there. She comments on how lovely and clean it is. As soon as we get in the car to leave I ask "How about living there mom?" Her response is "Live where?" So, my question is…do I tell her at all that we are moving her or…