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Forgetting a loved one has passed
What do you tell a person with dementia when they don’t remember their spouse has passed away? How do you deal with them feeling like the death just happened even though it has been years?
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I Feel Lost, Depressed and So Very Sad
Hello. I am new to ALZ Connect. I am looking to connect with others who have or are experiencing what I am going through as an adult child with a parent with ALZ and another parent who is losing it as the care giver. I am hoping to connect with others who feel similar to what I feel so maybe I won't feel so alone in this…
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Night at the ER
Well, I am eating my words from a recent post where I said I wanted to avoid ER visits for my mom at her stage. How do you avoid this when she trips and takes a header into the corner of a countertop? When the facility calls and says she's in the ambulance, just two hours after I had dinner with her? Here are the…
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Convincing person with dementia to go to parents' memorial
My parent with dementia had their parents both recently pass away in close proximity of each other. There will be a memorial service at an informal venue. My parent is local to the memorial celebration. My parent with dementia visited her parents regularly in the past year when she moved close to them to go to memory care.…
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Constantly saying Help Me please
I am a daughter with autism age 50 and live with my elderly father age 85. He keeps repeating the phrase Help ME please, very insistently, and then switches to Help me Jesus or praying the Hail Mary. He has a caregiver in the morning and my brother comes in the evening for a small amount of time. I’m left alone to hear him…
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4.5 years in caregiving
It’s been 4.5 years since my dad died and I became caregiver for my mom. At this point we’ve fallen into a rhythm (of sorts), she’s settled in MC, but it’s sad and hard and financially scary and I feel sorry for myself. Almost all of my free time on weekends goes to her. I feel guilty for even complaining. I dread seeing…
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Caring for my mom
Hi, I'm 58 yrs old and been caring for my mom and dad full time for the last 3 and a half yrs. Mom has alzheimers and dad had dementia. We lost him 2 and a half years ago. I seriously dont know how I've done it, not lost my mind that is, this is very hard, probably the hardest thing I've ever been through as I'm writing…
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Suggestions on making the move to MC
My father has been the primary caretaker for my 78 y/o mom for the last 5 years of her Alzheimer's diagnosis. A daily routine was working "well" in that it was predictable, and her ability to live in a well-managed environment was working as good as one might expect. In the past 3 months however, she has experienced…
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Son of an Elderly Father with Alzheimers
Hi, My father was diagnosed with alzheimers in August of 2025. Its been really rough mentally and emotionally. It's hard to watch my mom struggle with my dad. It sucks that the Dad that I known and love is no longer the person I know. What have you done to cope with this change in your life?
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leqembi question
My dad is going to start the leqembi treatment soon. Will these fusion treatments affect his immune system? Any information is greatly appreciative. 😀
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Moved Mom In
We moved my mom in a week ago that has dementia. I wish I could say it’s been a wonderful process, but it has not. It has been awful. She continually every day wants to call her brothers to come and get her and take her home she that we are in Florida when we actually are in Ohio. She keeps saying she wants her brothers to…
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Two Elderly Parents with Different Cognitive Issues?
Hello, all. I found this group months ago, but only finished the registration process last week. All of what I have read so far has been so supportive and helpful, and I've already received my copy of The 36-Hour Day. Thank you all so much! The family (except my mom) started noticing more cognitive decline with my dad…
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Financing Memory Care/Nursing Home/ALF with Medicaid
Hello! First, sending a lot of compassion and energy to everyone here. For me, my mother is in the later stages of Dementia we are looking to move her into a medicaid facility where we could potentially pay for an upgrade to a single room. I am looking for resources or any discussions on financing memory care with Medicaid…
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what is expected in memory care?
I am trying to understand what is expected in a memory care facility regarding personal hygiene, dietary needs and housekeeping. We just moved my dad (just turned 86) from on memory care place to a new one, mostly to get him closer to mom so she can see him every day. THe old place had a TERRIBLE menu. Supposed to have…
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Moved mom in today and very afraid
Hello, first post here and hoping for some insight. My mom is late stage and spent 3 weeks in the hospital because it was not safe for her at home. She was moved to a facility today and they don't even have a memory care unit. We do not have money, so it is paid for with medicaid and it was the first bed available and we…
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I smell poop
Today started early because we had a dentist appointment an hour away. Dad was already up using the bathroom at 8am. So I explained that we need to get dressed and change diapers. I gather items to bring then look in to find Dad went back to bed. I wake him and say we'll be late. Now he switches into slower mode. When we…
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Major shift in sleep
Usually my Mom takes a long nap in the afternoon and falls asleep on the couch while we're watching tv by 7 or 8pm. The past week she's been napping morning and night, still waking for meals. She seems very confused with general conversation, inability to demonstrate any logic. She's been diagnosed with mixed vascular,…
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Hospice Assessment in MC?
What is involved in an assessment for hospice care? Is there any reason NOT to have an assessment for a person around late stage 6? Does Medicare pay for hospice entirely? Yesterday my father fainted in MC and was sent to the ER. I was called at work and went to the hospital within an hour. Fortunately the ER doctor was a…
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POLST Form - Physician Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment Form - overwhelming
My LO is very, very elderly. She was recently hospitalized and had surgery. We had to make a lot of decisions fast and under pressure in the ER. But luckily it all went as well as could be hoped. She is definitely more fragile than she was before the whole thing but she is doing well. Her physician's practice is all…
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Asking Permissions
My MIL is starting to ask me permission in her own home, can I have coffee? Can I close the curtains, can I do this etc? Is this a stage? Am I doing to much?
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Looking for Resources in Maryland
Hi there! I am seeking guidance to assit my MOL with my FOL's dementia diagnosis. He is going to adult day care three day per week, but still car tasks at home are getting overly challenging. Here are some of the main issues we are working with: -sundowning (lots of frustration throughout the day) -insomonia -inability to…
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Mother living with me has Dementia
Hello Everyone, I recently had my mom come live with me, her choice. She was living by herself up until last Oct. Fell Broke her hip, end up in rehab for 2 months for thearpy. When she was in there my brother sought out Gaurdianship over her. Needless to say when she found out she was mad. She wanted to go back home, but…
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Need help with confirming stages
Good Evening, I just went to my MIL's doctor who confirmed her for moderate onset Alzheimers with agitation. But when I questioned him about what stage shes at he just kind of shrugged his shoulders. How can I find out what stage she is in? Do we need to go to a neurologist to confirm this? This just started last month so…
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Worn out and stressed out
Hello all. I’m currently dealing with an 87 year old father with dementia. He has fallen at home about 15 times this year, and ended up breaking his hip in July. I moved him into assisted living as I didn’t feel he was safe to be alone at home. He was a smoker and the last time I was there I watched him not pay attention…
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I hate myself for getting rid of Dad's phone
I am devastated. I had to disconnect my dad's phone tonight. He just called 911 too many times. I hate this. I feel like I am cutting him off.
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Need Help w/ Cell Phone Options
My father has dementia and one area where my mom and I are struggling is with his using his cell phone. He likes to play solitaire on the phone but he doesn’t understand that the ads he receives aren’t real messages. He ends up filling out his information and is inundated with spam text messages and phone calls. I try to…
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Television that can be turned off automatically? (or remotely?)
Hey, my apologies if this has already been addressed or answered. My mom is in a MC unit & has the habit of watching TV all night long, then not sleeping at normal hours. I discussed this with the staff & I gave them permission to take the power cord from the TV around 11PM and return it the next morning to help Mom stay…
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Advice on Transition to MC
Hi. With reluctance and fear, we are going to move my Dad from independent living with my Mom into MC. I know this is a painful process for all families, My Mom and Dad have been together for 65+ years. My family is scared that my Dad will become very angry at us, especially my Mom (the dutiful wife). We don't know what…
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Caregiver - Therapy
I've been primary caregiver for my mom for nearly two years. She's still living at home but no longer driving. Moods are hard, depression is a thing. My SO and daughter help with check ins but it's still a lot. I've been considering looking into therapy for myself. Any suggestions? Tips? Things to consider when finding the…