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Father should be in nursing home but I can't do it
Hi - I have a father who keeps falling and going to the hospital. I think he would be better off in a nursing home. He also has dementia and no short term memory. My dilemma is he is absolutely 100% against going to a nursing home. He literally cried in front of me saying it is not what he wants to do. I have requested…
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Assisted Living vs. Memory Care
My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about 8 years ago. She is now 69 and is around stage 4/5. She is still living in independent living as her boyfriend visits almost daily and takes her to her doctor appointments and gets her out of her room for walks or lunch. I handle all of her finances, groceries and personal stuff.…
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Taking away her car
Help! I am having trouble taking away car from my mother . She started swerving in lanes, and ignored the driving rules constantly . She recently crashed into a parked car and that was enough for us to say no more driving for her :( tried hiding keys, she went crazy. Tried taking away the car, but she keeps asking every…
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Ruby's Choice
I had to spread the word on this movie I came across on Amazon Prime. Jane Seymour is the lead actress in this movie. She stars as the Mother and Grandmother who suffers from Dementia. Her husband passed years ago and she's been told that he's on a business trip. Without giving away too much, her memory loss is confirmed…
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Can’t be pleased 😞
Coming here mostly to just vent. Mom has lived with us a little over a year now. Moved from one part of this BIG state to another after 40 years so BIG changes in every way. Left behind her bffs, the option to drive (her choice not to), the familiar, her own house, had to sell a lot of her things or put them into storage,…
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Question about Cognitive Reserve
I understand that a high level of cognitive reserve can make a person show fewer symptoms than others with the same level of brain deterioration. My question is this - does this mean they might be more advanced in the disease progression than their symptoms indicate? Is it possible that you think someone is stage 4 based…
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I’m Scared and Alone
My dad was diagnosed with MD about a year ago. When mom was alive (she passed from cancer about 3 years ago) she was already saying dad was headed down this path although he wasn’t diagnosed. I saw it too. I noticed dad was getting worse a little bit at a time. But still, at least I thought, was doing pretty well. A week…
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MI MADRE ESTÁ PERDIENDO LA MEMORIA
Hola, soy nueva, recién pude encontrar una página que puede ayudarme, mi mamá tiene 81 años, soy su única hija, empecé a notar que algo no andaba bien hace dos años, lamentablemente por mi trabajo me enviaron a una zona de dificil acceso, aunque bajo a verla los fines de semana solo disfruto 1 día con ella, he notado…
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Missing my mom
I think my mom has dementia, but she's in denial. I've had concerns for the past 3-4 years, but she won't get assessed. I resigned myself to the fact that there would likely be some sort of crisis and hoped that she would be open to help then. The crisis happened in February when she attempted suicide by overdosing on…
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Mom needs almost constant support
79-year-old mom lives in intermediate memory care unit within AL facility. She is very outgoing and has a good friend in AL. She is able to interact with people in AL and participate in their activities. She does not seem to enjoy most of the activities, however, or refuses to try them. But then she gets bored and doesn’t…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 6/21/21
CAREGIVERS, WE CAN TRUST THE LORD Psalm 91:14-15 Easy-to-Read Version 14 The Lord says, “If someone trusts me, I will save them. I will protect my followers who call to me for help. 15 When my followers call to me, I will answer them. I will be with them when they are in trouble. I will rescue them and honor them. YOUR…
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Days Out for MC Resident?
My dad has been in MC for about a year and is now about stage 5/6. We have brought him to our house for a meal and a visit of a few hours most weekends in good weather (no overnights). Mostly this has been OK. He likes the food, and hosting him in our home gives me some sense of satisfaction. He has put up very little…
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Assisted living room changes
My mom has been at the assisted living facility since October 2023. She is in a 2-room apartment, which we originally selected due her having 2 senior male dogs. At this point, the dogs are no longer there, and my mom is transitioning from moderate to severe. I was asked by the staff at the facility today how I would feel…
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Diagnosis process
Hello all, I was able to get my mother to be seen by a neuropsychologist for testing recently, which required very careful persuasion and lying to get her there. They now want to make an appointment to go over the results with her. I am considering not doing this and having them just send me the report, if I can get it. My…
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Having trouble crying? Then read this one: The Swimmers by Julie Otsuka
I haven't been on this site for a long time and was moved to post here by this book. Brilliantly written and tightly constructed, Julie takes us on the journey of her mom through her mom's decline. I think it was by chapter 3, I was sobbing, and then weeping at the description of the importance of trees. (I remember how my…
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Hospital woes (long story)
Mom developed another UTI at her MC. After a day of antibiotics, she refused all food, fluids and meds and stopped talking. Her facility sent her to ER and she was admitted. After some IV fluids and one dose of IV antibiotics, she perked up and was almost back to baseline. The hospital was ready to discharge her, but of…
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Alzheimer’s and Sugar
My MIL is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease. The disease has progressed slowly (15 years), but she is now firmly in Stage 4. Among other changes in behavior, she has recently begun hoarding food…especially sweet foods. While I know hoarding and hiding is typical, my question is more about her overall diet. My FIL is her…
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One parent diagnosed, one parent…
MY MIL has been diagnosed with a very slow progression of Alzheimer’s. She was diagnosed 15 years ago and is just now reaching Stage 4. By the time the evening arrives, you can definitely see a change not only in reasoning/processing but also in personality. Her husband of the past 40 years is her PCG. He’s a terrific man,…
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Spectrum
Hello, I am a caregiver to an elderly parent. We are in Peterborough, ON. Canada. I am finding it more and more frustrating because my life is on hold. My mother is 92 yrs, and at times appears to be very sharp ("with it") but she does forget a lot, more and more, and I see signs of decline. It is quite challenging because…
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New Here. Sundowner/Hallucinations
My mom cares for my dad at home. I am only 2 miles away and my son and I are their support system. My dad (89yr) has been dealing with sundowners for several months but it is getting worse. Some nights he sleeps ok and some nights he is up and down throughout the night. We learned my mom (84yr) has been sleeping in a…
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Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors
My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the…
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Convincing a parent to use a walker when you can't reason with them
How can I convince my 89-year-old mother to use a walker in the house if I can't be expected to reason with a dementia patient? She has repeatedly rejected the idea over the phone and says she doesn't need one but my daughter who lives with her is insisting she use one after a fall at home that was scary for both of them.…
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Seizures? EEG Negative
Hi all--I'm Lia and new to this discussion group. My mother has moderate/advanced Alzheimer's and this spring she started having what seem like very short (abt 30 second?) seizures. She starts breathing hard, her eyes open really wide/roll back, her head slumps forward, she'll usually cry out that she's going to fall, and…
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Intrusive thought
I am fairly new here. I've posted here and there in response to other people, but saw a post in the "caring for spouse/partner" section that resonated with me. I was born with a life-threatening disorder, which I have miraculously been able to defy the grim reaper's grasp. I have become a disabled R.N and have watched the…
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Summer is coming and mom has a faulty temperature gauge!
My mother, who has moderate dementia, live with us. She frequently complains that she is very cold, so we make sure she has plenty of layers, but summer is coming, and my house is usually very warm even with the air conditioning on. My mother hates the air conditioner. She’ll complain that she senses a wind and demands we…
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How to respond?
A few weeks ago my mom (who has alz and lives in assisted living) had a fit, accused me of starving her, not helping her get food, and treating her badly. She texted my 12yr old that “your mom is treating me like s#^t. I never would have done this to her!” So the next time I was in my mom’s presence I deleted my child’s…
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Selling Mom's Home Using POA When She Seems Lucid
I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally. When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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Could the doctor be wrong about disease stage?
The title says it all. I am wondering if the doctor could be wrong about what stage my mom is at. The last time I took her to an appointment she had one of her better days and I didn’t feel like it was indicative of how she normally is. Doctor said she is borderline between “mild” and “moderate” but I think she is…
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Mom is in so much pain
Saw my mom today,she is in so much discomfort and pain. Just grateful I got to kiss, hug and pray with her next to my sister the real hero who is her main caregiver.