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Oh no! Nail polish on her face!!
My mom won't touch something for years (hence the nail polish) and then all of a sudden…. Previously, after not doing laundry for a year, she decided to do the laundry herself and poured so much bleach in the washer everything turned quite white and I had to open all the windows and get everyone out for a while due to the…
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Dealing with LO'S Anger
I'm stressed out from my mom who has dementia being constantly angry. I'm feeling really frustrated because I'm struggling with my own life, and caring for her while trying to keep my own head above water is got me on edge and I don't know what to do
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Loss of executive function? Is this how it starts?
I know I'm being paranoid, but my avoidance levels are so high and my motivation so low, i begin to wonder if this is the beginning of losses that I won't ever recoup. I don't think I'm depressed, but maybe I'm fooling myself. or maybe this is just aging, maybe it's just stress. Maybe it's okay and my eyes are just bigger…
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Update: assessment went well, advice on move
The assessment went really well. Mom is at a higher level of care than I realized (no shock there), but they are confident they can work with her and meet her needs. We discussed incontinence and they asked some tough questions (e.g. am I opposed to the briefs with tape, more like diapers, which are harder to take off. I…
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Can people with Dementia go through cataract surgery?
My mom needs cataract surgery and I can't tell if it's worth it to schedulew it because she really doesn't want to and is soooo tired all of the time. I can't tell if she would be able to do it or not. Have any of your loved ones gone through with it successfully? It's described as being a fairly quick and easy procedure…
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When is the right time for a facility
Hello all, As some of you know I recently moved my father in with me from living on his own in his own home in Colorado to California. It has just been over a month and I don’t know how long I can do this. He still toilets, showers on his own and can get around without help. He needs some hygiene guidance, medication and…
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Feeling lost and overwhelmed
Hello, first time posting! My mom with dementia was hospitalized about a month ago due to severe dehydration. Since then she has moved in with my sister using the "therapeutic fib" of "your house is getting some work done." She has accepted that and perhaps we will be able to keep this fib going or maybe she will…
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Recommendations for senior communities
Hi, my parents are thinking about moving to a senior community in the Boston, MA surrounding area. They want a community with indep/assisted living/memory care options. They are also interested in not for profit facilities, since costs are so high in the Boston area. Does anyone have any first hand experience with any area…
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Slipping away
Joy is slipping, just slipping away.... https://simplebender.com/2024/08/23/joy-in-alzheimers-episode-50-slipping/
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Dad has Parkinson and dementia
Hi everyone. Dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson. He's currently in the hospital awaiting placement in a nursing facility. He's blaming me for not taking him home. I know it's his disease but I'm have a hard time dealing with everything. Any others with this problem?
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AL or MC
My 89 year old mother has been living in IL for about 5 years since my father died. She plays bridge a few times a week, but otherwise her activities are eating meals in the dining room with her friends and watching tv. Over the last few months she’s stopped taking out her garbage, washing her dishes, or doing laundry. Her…
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The Fall
Probably the worst situation possible…91 year old with Alzheimer's now with a broken femur… http://simplebender.com/2024/08/17/joy-in-alzheimers-episode-47-the-fall/
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Questions to ask when choosing facilities
Please list questions I should ask when choosing AL/MC facilities.
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Sad and caring formy mom 4 years
I'm new here. I've been caring for my 85 year old mom who was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimers in 2021. She just started asking about her mom, my grandmother every night, who I also cared for when I was a teenager right out of high school when my mom was working back in the early 1980's. My grandmother passed away in…
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feeling frustrated, alone with problematic family
To start; I'm 44, currently living in Colorado. My mom was diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 63 with early onset. I signed her up for medical trials, the first round did really well and was helping until it was de-funded. Tried again with another one, that treatment didn't take at all. She has obviously gotten worse as there…
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Mom new to nursing home
Hello, I’m new here. My mom, who is about to turn 85, was just recently moved into nursing home as a short-term rehab patient but will transition to long term due to dementia. I’m looking for guidance how to speak to her as she keeps asking when is she going home. She has an iPad to communicate and I am getting upsetting…
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When is it time for MC?
I know this question always comes up, but I need some help thinking through this for my mom and would greatly appreciate input from those who have had to make this decision before me! About my mom: she was diagnosed last summer and still lives alone. Based on her last exam, mom's neurologist says she is still early stage,…
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New here
I'm brand new to this whole disease. My mom is 87 and having horrible hallucinations and delusions. I want to know what kind of doctor to take her to. The general physician knows but hasn't really been much help. Do I need a neurologist, a psychiatrist, or what? I'm so nervous about this that I'm losing sleep .I want my…
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Questions about end of life
Hey everybody. This is my first post. I’m curious to get an idea if my mom’s sudden crying, lack of communication ability, not being able to walk, is truly a sign of the beginning of End of Life. She still eats well, has no ailments(besides the obvious), and the memory care unit is saying she’s sleeping well. Any advice or…
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Where do We Go From Here
I live in the east & my sister in the southwest. Our mother, 79, lives alone in the midwest. In May, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. The plan was to move her to my sister's place this fall; everyone agreed it was the best place for her to go. In June, my mother started changing for the worst. First, she unpacked…
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Dad with UTI
Yesterday, my mom called me and told me dad got nauseous and threw up shortly after breakfast. He fell and couldn't get off the floor. My mom called hospice and they called 911 to just pick him off the floor and onto his bed. When I came over, my dad was on the floor again next to his bed. He tried to get out of bed to his…
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what is my aim? I still feel like I'm missing something
Hello dear community, I did take a break from visiting Dad. Mainly because it seemed to be upsetting for him. I've applied your advice (shorter visits, take someone with me, bring a treat to eat, stay in common area spaces) and it helped a lot. I do not go as often and I apply the wise advice given here when I do go. I…
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Just need an emotional release
The evenings are bad for me. I miss my mom. I miss sitting here with her, enjoying TV on the couch, and being close to her. I miss being her daughter. I know, I know. I still am at some level, but everything has changed so quickly. I've had to do so much in such a short period of time. Decided she needed to go to the ER,…
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How to find a doctor to do capacity assessment for DPOA
We've been dealing with Mom's dementia for a while now, and we really need to activate her DPOA. It requires us to get an assessment from two "licensed physicians." Problem: I called Mom's doctor, and they had no clue. The office people don't think the doctor has ever done that. I don't know what kind of a process I need…
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Siblings involvement in parental care
Does anyone who is caring for their parents have siblings who choose not to be involved and how do you deal with it?
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Behavior change in dad, how to help?
My dad is 80yo, ALZ/VD and in AL. He is stage 5 (DBAT) and so far has always known who I am. My husband, son, dog and I stopped in to visit him. He was sitting in one of the common areas. We came in and said “hello!”, and I let him know it was me (just in case). He looked crossly at all of us and said “I want to be alone.”…