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Pros and cons of home care vs memory care--and misperceptions? For educational purposes
This came up on another thread so I thought I'd start it off. I was struck by comments that a PWD had to be nonambulatory or completely unable to perform any ADL's before they were appropriate for MC, neither of which is the case. As someone who had to place my partner under some duress and for whom the adjustment has been…
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Security and Door Locks
My DH doesn't wander yet, but sometimes I'll notice he is outside in the yard and I'm getting increasing uncomfortable with the idea that wandering might be next. So - I'm looking for advice on how to lock my doors so that I can know when he walks out! I have steel frame doors, and a lot of the locks I see online won't…
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I'm just starting the journey and need advice
After three months in a SNF for various orthopedic problems, my husband's dementia "flared" which caught me by surprise as I hadn't really understood that his "memory" medications were for dementia. (it's a long story). Anyway...in January he had delusions where I was accused of conspiring with his doctor to keep him…
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@Eaglemon and other experienced members
Please respond to Aayusi on the Living with Alzheimer's board. She has a complicated history with major depression, cutting and suicidal ideation. I have flagged her posts twice. Her thread is "Don't want to lose the memories". Iris
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This Group is my Lifeline - Thanks!
I continue to go to this site numerous times a day - the empathy and experience of the participants here is the best support I have found. I am in a place now where a lot of you have found yourself in - I'm alone in this horrible ambiguous grief cycle called Alzheimer's. Bill posted "The Calvary is not Coming" and I read…
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Important (and classic) free book: Understanding the Dementia Experience
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I bought a house. I wish I could feel happy and excited about it.
But I don't. I'm spending our life savings in the Medicaid spend down. It's a nice house and in a nice neighborhood. All my memories are here in this house though. And I miss my husband so much! He has been in memory care for two months and I still feel like I am dying from grief. It hit me today that I am going to have to…
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Update - haven't posted in awhile. Been overwhelmed.
To recap: December 5th, I had to immediately place my DH in MCF because of my devastating diagnosis of a rare aggressive form of breast cancer that I needed immediate and aggressive treatment for. I placed him in a facility and he got great care but it was very expensive. I applied for the VA Nursing Home facility and he…
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Good article - Tips on preventing aspiration
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My mom accusing of us stealing
I was extremingly angry. Held it for a couple of days and got into a storm argument with my mom. I was outrageously angry at her today. How do I do it so I don’t take it personal? Same happens 3 years ago when she did that and I over come it. Now, it happened again. Advise please
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video from new england journal of medicine
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp2310177?query=TOC&cid=NEJM%20eToc,%20March%2021/28,%202024%20DM2332180_NEJM_Non_Subscriber&bid=-2122372168
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A life sentence
I feel so god-forsaken. My DH is in stage 6 (I think) and his constant combativeness and total confusion ruin every single waking day. Truth is I don't even like him anymore and we've been married for 50 years. When he was diagnosed the neurologist said "this isn't a death sentence" and I remember thinking "no, it is a…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/4/24
FRIENDS, just want you to know I read all your comments and appreciate them. The Holy Spirit is with you and me here and everywhere. Peace, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) * COURAGE Genesis 1:1 NIV “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Joshua 1:9 NKJV “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good…
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POSITIVE BALANCE
When I was a caregiver, I was on a seesaw. One side was attending to the needs of those I cared for, and the other side was attending to my own needs. Both sides were important. Both sides needed attention. The aim was to keep the seesaw balanced so one side did not go crashing to the ground. Perhaps looking back, I…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 3/23/24
FRIENDS, just want you to know I read all your comments and appreciate them. The Holy Spirit is with you and me here and everywhere. Peace, Ronnie (Veronica Kelly Badowski) * CONFUSION Isaiah 5:20 New International Version "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness,…
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Visiting too often?
My DH has been in memory care for almost 3 weeks. The first week was very hard, but since then, he’s seemed to be adapting to it. I’ve been visiting daily, for about an hour, and my daughter often sees him in the evening. A few days ago, when I arrived, he was playing a word game with the group and he was having such a…
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Am I crazy, or is the doctor?
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but here's hoping someone can shed a little light on what to do about our current situation. As background, we are exploring MC placement for my DH, who tested in the "mild dementia" range in late 2022. Lately he has been having episodes of aggression and rage which are…
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What to do?
My DW is now fully involved with her dementia/delusions. She is getting angry and physically violent. So, what is the next step? Do I need to look to have her committed?
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I need help finding a post
A member posted a photo of a lockbox to use so that designated people could enter the home if she were unavailable. I have been searching for this post that was embedded within a thread but I can't remember the title of the thread. Does anyone remember it? It was either on this board or on the General Caregivers board.…
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After more than 18 months we finally have test results
A miracle happened this month...the VA neuropsych department finally sent us the detailed test results from the test he took in June 2022. The same test results we have asked for, his VA neuro requested, his PCP requested, his social worker requested, and his private insurance neuro requested. The last requestor was his…
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POA and MC admission
I have given the POA for my DH over to DS officially. He looked at the documents far more critically than I and he's not sure we would be able to make decisions for DH as regards moving him to MC facility. It seems the documents actually say two doctors must sign off on him being incapable of making his own decisions. What…
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Just Checking In - Its been a while but doing MUCH Better
Hi All - Just checking in, its been almost a year since I've visited this site, great help and support. DW is in her 7th year with EO FTD, she'll be 61 in a few days. Much has happened since I placed her in MC in late December/2022. Short story is I eventually pulled her out this past August and now care for her at home…
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Dealing with denial, hallucinations, and delusions
A doctor mentioned that my husband probably has Alzheimer's about 2 years ago. Since then my husband refuses to see a doctor for any reason because there's nothing wrong with him. He gets angry, belligerent, and even hostile at times because I promise to take him to our new "masterpiece" home but I never take him; or I…
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I can no longer keep DH safe Now what?
DH can no longer walk without falling. He will not wait for me to assist. Last night he got up out of bed in the middle of the night and was shuffling around. My Angel must have awakened me because I was exhausted and in a deep sleep. DH qualifies for Medicaid. How do I find a place for him? I am in touch with a lawyer.…
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Important article re: significant risks of hospitalization/ER for PWDs
Posting on both sites. This corroborates the experiences many of us have had with hospital or ER intervention causing more harm than good for our PWD LOs. The study focused on fainting or near fainting (syncope) as a reason for the initial hospital contact, but the overarching statements caught my attention and are why we…
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Diagnosis
Well. Spoke with the neuropsych today about my DWs evaluation last week. For sure dementia, though unsure what type. Progressing rapidly. Could be Alzheimer's, faster progressing Lewy Body or vascular. I know it may matter in terms of planning, but right now, even the thought of scheduling another MRI just bums me out. I…
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Rash on chest
DH has been complaining of ongoing itchiness on chest, arms, back. There is a visible rash especially on the chest. This has been for several weeks, maybe 2 months. We put hydrocortozine 1% on it which helps, but apparently the itchiness is getting more constant and even disrupts his sleep. I sent a note to the PCP who had…
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Dealing with Grief of Loss and Alzheimer's Madness
Dear Forum Friends, I have been checking in but haven't participated much since the loss of my best fury friend of 14 years. It was just the last straw for me, and I continue to be filled with grief. I decided to commit my feelings to writing in hopes that it might purged some of my pain. I share this in hopes that it will…
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Share a date or surprise?
Just wondering what everyone would do… I go to a support group once a month. It seems every time I go it starts an argument with DH. Why do I need to go, who is there, do we just talk about him… you know the drill. So do I tell him ahead of time that I am going? I didn’t mark it on the calendar this month. Do I just wait…
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stage and preparation
My mother died in early 2015. At that time she had mentioned to me that she thought there was something wrong with my step dads memory. When she was dying from cancer I begin to see it too. He was able to live by himself for a couple of years but due to some major health issues that escalated his ALZ I had to move him to…