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Geriatric vs. Regular psychiatrist
I don't want to sound cruel or that I don't care. My bf (44yo) was referred to a geriatric psychiatrist to help with "the man in the mirror... his reflection in general" the closest gery psych is almost 45 mins away. My question is, is there truely a difference between a regular psychiatrist and a geriatric psychiatrist…
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Scary Adventure
Yesterday, (around 2pm) somewhat expected, my LO announced she was going home (usuall) but since it was close she was going to walk (usuall), i interjected “got an errand to run, ill take you” and we got in the car (usuall), went to leave the driveway - “that’s the wrong way, my house is the other way (unusual). Agitated…
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Dementia vs stage 4 lung cancer - advice neede
(cross posted from caring for a parent) For those who have experience being a caregiver for someone who has significant co-morbidities, could you help me understand how to address my MIL’s changing needs? MIL is almost 92. She has had lung cancer for 10 years. The oncologist believes the tumors are very slow growing due to…
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The rest of the story
DH was diagnosed with lung cancer -- aggressive -- the first week in March. There was nothing to be done. The sudden worsening of memory, vision issues, abdominal issues, lessening appetite and energy - it was not from a progression of his neurological disease but the cancer accelerating the neurological symptoms. He was…
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Do You Talk To Yourself Out Loud As A Caregiver?
I have started talking out loud to myself (Not within DH’s hearing) both to vent about something DH has done or said and to try and calm myself. I say “it is not him, it is the disease” or “I can get through this” or even have back and forth mini-conversation with me, myself and I! Does anyone else do this? Am I losing it?
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Got it
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SSDI
My DH gets a pension from local government retirement. He worked many years prior to that job paying into SS so he does receive some SS income but it is reduced due to Government Pension Offset. Will the GPO or his pension affect his eligibility for SSDI based on his alzheimers? Thinking about future needs, SSDI could…
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Sad realization
As things progress, despite the number of trips each day and distractions along the way (stopping to visit family, watch sailing competitions at local college, run an errand, stop at A&W for a shake and burger (our first date included A&W) or whatever, is seems that we are increasingly unable to find “home”. The arrival at…
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Suggestions on how to introduce companion services, please?
I think it's time for companion services for my DH. His friends have slipped away and I know he is lonely. I can fill some of his friendship needs, but he definitely needs more socialization. It's been suggested that I start introducing a new "friend" to him but how do I do that? It has also been suggested that I introduce…
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SOS- is Zinc Oxide (20%) Cream Edible?
Driving & look in the mirror… DH looks like he just had the best meal ever. Smeared all over his mouth & chin & he’s chewing! Pulled over & see he’s retrieved the butt cream from our “go” bag. And has a plastic SPOON with half a bite left on it.!!! I wiped out as much as possible (getting bitten) & am calling poison…
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It’s not easy being green…
Before dementia and incontinence, we used to be so careful about recycling, using our own grocery bags and waiting til we had a full load of clothes before doing the wash. Living in California, we were careful about water use. Our regular trash bin was seldom more than about a third full. Now I order incontinence underwear…
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Devastating disease: Mentally, physically, emotionally, socially and financially
DH has been exhibiting executive function deficits for a long time. He was diagnosed with MCI 4 yrs ago and he is getting worse cognitively, physically, socially. Finally getting an assessment this Friday. I have accepted that he has dementia, (his mother died from ALZ and his brother too last year. I understand it is a…
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Long Term Health Care
I have been starting to look at our LTC policy and information as things progress. One thing i have trouble understanding is the 90 Day waiting period (that’s what we have). It has been described as a ‘deductable’. I’m guessing you have to spend so much to get to the 90 day point, what i cant find is what counts and how it…
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Wondering ...
How would you handle this? A relative regularly calls me to check up on us, and I’m very grateful for that. But nearly every time I talk to her, she says to me that she’s so glad that although her husband has numerous health issues, at least she can have a coherent conversation with him. And every damned time she says…
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Question for this beautiful but lonely Sunday
What is more detrimental, the physical or emotional toll of a caregiver’s day?
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Ups and downs in late stage Alzheimers and Hospice
hello, My husband is 71 with late stage Alzheimers and vascular dementia, diabetes etc.. He has been in hospice care since March 8. Hospice was recommended by his PCP due to difficulty walking, incontinence, trouble swallowing pills, weight loss etc. Hospice gave him 6 months in March. Some days I think they are correct,…
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Is meeting someone new a possibility?
Hi. I am new here. My DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a year ago. He is 57 and I am 49. He has mild to moderate symptoms. His behaviour started to slowly change about 8 years ago. Although of course then I didn’t understand why. Before we realised he may have dementia I had started contemplating the fact that I don’t…
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Anger and agitation - how much is too much?
Over the years I have managed to develop a lot of patience and compassion for what DH is going through. But, I really struggle with anger and agitation. Throughout our marriage we were never screamers. With this disease the occasional yelling, screaming, and verbal attacks are killing me. My stomach immediately ties up in…
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My spouse can’t stop eating.
He goes out several times a day to buy food. He has hypertension and heart disease. He eats highly salted food. I am afraid he will have a stroke. Any one relate?
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Jo C, privacy and a good wishes thread
While I have been away a long time and only just discovered Jo C's illness, it is wonderful to see how many discussion board members care and are concerned. During our years together as Peer Volunteers, we often discussed how important our privacy was and how it was necessary to have boundaries to keep our identity…
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I'm overwhelm!
My DH was diagnosed with dementia a few months ago I don't really know witch one because every time we see the doctor it changes. He sees things that I don't see. I'm amazed how fast its progressing the way that he cant remember things. He is only suppose to be in the mild stage. What really gets me is all the paper work I…
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Rough times
I’m a newcomer to this. My DW is in mid stage dementia, starting last October and is aggressively getting worse. Being the caregiver and trying to to work with an elder lawyer is so overwhelming. My DW is only 67, it’s difficult thinking I’ll have to deal with MC placement in the future. In the afternoons (I’ll call it…
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Renovations
We will have to do some renovations to the house, mainly doors and bathroom and ramp to resolve access issues. Is there any advice on how to do this without causing stress for LO. Thank you
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"Who am I?"
Today I realized again that DH isn’t always sure exactly who I am. He knows my name, at least, but not necessarily that I am his wife of nearly 49 years. He seems to believe that he was married to someone else before me, and I suspect that this is partly because I don’t look the way I did back then—of course, neither does…
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I just don't know what to do.
Those of you on this site have probably seen me post several times. I am all over the board. As background — my DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 years ago after 4 or 5 years of symptoms. I quit my job and stayed home with him, and things went pretty well until three months ago. It was tiring, I couldn't get much time…
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As of 2:00 today, my DH is in Memory Care
When you say for better for worse, in sickness and in health, I'm not sure I thought about dealing with dementia. My husband who was diagnosed with FTD 3 1/2 years ago is not in a Memory Care facility. My heart is breaking. We met 41 years ago, and have been married almost 38. I'm not sure I'll ever be ok without him
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On a lighter note……one year in
Last Sunday marked one year without DH. On Saturday, I felt the need to carry out a threat that I had made many times over many years. DH coached HS baseball for 43 years on the field that is now named in his honor. He was successful, well respected, and well loved, but he was unable (or unwilling) to stay in the 3rd base…
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Random thoughts from the early days...
I'm feeling so grateful to have found this place. I am in the beginning of this journey. I'm sure you'll all relate, though, when I say it's been hell for many years. I know it's been AT LEAST five, but now I find myself looking back and finally understanding all those fights (basically me fighting with myself because for…
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Battling UTIs - question
My wife has had frequent recurring UTIs. Last fall I started her on TheraCran One. She did not have another UTI for just about a year, maybe a little more. But in the last 3 months she has had 3 more UTIs. And I'm going to have another sample tested tomorrow. The TheraCran One costs around $85.00 for a 3 month supply, and…
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Caring for a spouse AND a parent
Ten months after we moved to our retirement home, which is five hours from friends and even farther from family, DH was diagnosed with AD (early stage, and possible candidate for new treatment - we'll know more next month). I am also the sole caregiver for my 93yo mother, who has moderate, age-related dementia, but is…