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where did my husband go?
DW is now frequently living in a world where her husband, whom she loved a lot, suddenly left her without explanation, which she finds extremely upsetting. She says she had been living alone for a long time when I appeared, and she treats me like a guest in our own house. We will have conversations where she tells me all…
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How to have DH let family and friends know of his diagnosis
Hi, I"m new here (although did use this site often when helping with my Mom who passed from Alz). THis time my DH has been diagnosed with demientia - though we haven't narrowed it down to a specific type yet. SO still early on. MY DH is still in denial or hoping something will "fix" the mild(his perception) issues he's…
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Please chime in if you know
My DH, 79 , was diagnosed with moderate cognitive decline, possibly Parkinsons in October 2023. His abilities took a nose dive and all activities of daily living are left to me. I believe it was Jamie (?) who mentioned trying for VA benefits. I don't remember why (sorry, long night, little sleep). I just received a call…
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Just need to scream
Tonight DH went up to bed and came down again almost immediately to complain that "someone" kept messing with the shades in the bedroom and he wished they would stop. I reminded him that the only people who go into that room are him and me. It's true that sometimes, if he hasn't raised the shades in the morning I will do…
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His last night at home
This is the last night my DH will spend at home. I understand now that he can’t live here, I can’t take care of him, I can’t keep him from slipping away. I’ve tried to hold him so tightly that he can’t forget me or home, but it is not reality. He will drift away, take his own road from here. He will forget me, our history,…
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Support and Help
Good Morning! First time poster here, who is looking for some support. DH was diagnosed with Mild Cogitive Impairment at the age of 39. He is now 43. He has a neurologist, regular therapist, and neuropsychologist who provide support for him. At this time, he is still able to work and the condition doesn't seem to have a…
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End of life planning and final wishes.
I am very embarrassed to say that DH and I were master procrastinators when it came to end of life planning. Of course I am now worried about this. I wonder if it would be a mistake to try to discuss his wishes during one of his lucid spells. I don’t want to frighten or distress him.
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Driving
My husband is blaming me for taking away his drivers license even though I remind him it was his Neurologist that did it. He thinks I am being cruel and can't understand why I would do this to him.
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Terrible Family
My DW has been diagnosed with FTD. We have been married for 31 years. Over those years I enjoyed her family very much. I grew close to her parents and her younger brother. I helped her parents with minor maintenance, yard work etc. over the decades. I was best man at her younger brother's wedding. I helped him get his…
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Update - DH56 with FTD
I am so incredibly grateful for all the love and compassion and guidance you have all given to me. I'm sure you can all relate when I say that I am losing track of the days. Time is just floating by and I feel like time is like a ticking bomb right now. I know things will not get easier - different in a horrific kind of…
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Medicaid
We live in an apartment in a retirement community. They have MC, SNC, AL, and Adult Daycare on the premises also. I recently asked our Manager what I would need to do if my DH needs SNC in the future. She said we would get a bed for him with a Medicaid Waiver and then apply for Medicaid (he would definitely qualify). Since…
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clueless cashier
We went to the grocery store today. DH pushes the cart as we wind our way around the store. We get to the checkout and he puts the items on the conveyor. There’s no bagger so he starts to grab a paper bag to fill. The store now charges for bags so we bring our own. I stop him and remind him we brought cloth bags. He starts…
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neurologist visit
Yesterday DH had his six month neurologist visit. He’s declined since the last visit, but is still able to dress appropriately, feed, shower, etc. The last thing the neurologist asked was if he had episodes of agitation or anger. I truthfully said no. He’s always been the most even keel person I know. Neurologist said if…
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Just wondering
My DH will not let me manage his medicine. I filled up the 7 day pill box and he threw a fit. So that’s done for now. About 1 month ago, after our Neuro visit the Dr. increased the Aricept to 10mg and put him on Zoloft. He was supposed to increase aricept 1st then wait 1 week and take 1/2 of the 25 mg Zoloft. I halfed the…
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I'm moving to the new house in two weeks. Feeling lonely but grateful
It's been awhile since I posted an update. I continue to spend down our life savings so DH can qualify for Medicaid. My new house is almost ready to move into. The interior has been completely re-painted and the new carpet is being installed. Friends from church and my sister have been over here at the old house almost…
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Doughnuts
DH has diabetes. Every Saturday morning is a coffee and doughnuts get together at our condo complex. It became an unpleasant situation when DH would eat 4 or more doughnuts so I have been taking him out to breakfast instead to avoid his uncontrollable behavior. Today while I was getting our car to go to breakfast, DH…
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Re-posting for new member MariaT - alcohol and dementia struggles
MariaT says: This is my first time on the forum. I was feeling very alone, thinking that no one else had to face dementia plus alcohol dependence (white wine) in a spouse, which makes everything so much worse and harder. Of course, his doctors have told him he must stop, but he remembers nothing and gets angry at the very…
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Sneaking Alcohol and Driving
My DH was diagnosed with MCI about four years ago. He scored low in short term memory and executive functioning on his neuropsych exam. 2023 was absolute hell with sneaking alcohol, voluntary commital for suicide plan not acted out but still threatens suicide, physical violence twice (I wouldn't let him drive off in…
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Zoom
hi are there any zoom meetings for a spouse that has a husband with early onset FLD he is 40
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Clonepin? Or Seroquel?
My DH is on Clonepin. As I understand, it’s kind of like Xanax. His main issue is his agitation about wanting to go home to his parents every day. (Parents long gone). He begs for hours every day to “go home”. The Clonepin helps to some degree but it’s not a miracle drug. Would Seroquel be a better option?
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going to bathroom
I'm new here, taking care of my 75 yo wife who has dementia. Lately, last few weeks, she has been sitting on the toilet for hours on end (8-10-12 hours a day) feeling like she has to go after already having done her business. Doc says it's the dementia that makes her feel that there's more to come. Don't know how to get…
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Dealing with the rollercoaster of emotions... FTD/Pick's DH56
Oh guys. These rollercoaster of emotions. We are newly diagnosed, but it's like crossing the finish line of part 1 of this psychological thriller. I feel like I've been living in hell for over 10 years as DH's personality and emotions changed before my eyes and I was the only one who could see. When I shared with a…
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Geriatric vs. Regular psychiatrist
I don't want to sound cruel or that I don't care. My bf (44yo) was referred to a geriatric psychiatrist to help with "the man in the mirror... his reflection in general" the closest gery psych is almost 45 mins away. My question is, is there truely a difference between a regular psychiatrist and a geriatric psychiatrist…
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Scary Adventure
Yesterday, (around 2pm) somewhat expected, my LO announced she was going home (usuall) but since it was close she was going to walk (usuall), i interjected “got an errand to run, ill take you” and we got in the car (usuall), went to leave the driveway - “that’s the wrong way, my house is the other way (unusual). Agitated…
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Dementia vs stage 4 lung cancer - advice neede
(cross posted from caring for a parent) For those who have experience being a caregiver for someone who has significant co-morbidities, could you help me understand how to address my MIL’s changing needs? MIL is almost 92. She has had lung cancer for 10 years. The oncologist believes the tumors are very slow growing due to…
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The rest of the story
DH was diagnosed with lung cancer -- aggressive -- the first week in March. There was nothing to be done. The sudden worsening of memory, vision issues, abdominal issues, lessening appetite and energy - it was not from a progression of his neurological disease but the cancer accelerating the neurological symptoms. He was…
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Do You Talk To Yourself Out Loud As A Caregiver?
I have started talking out loud to myself (Not within DH’s hearing) both to vent about something DH has done or said and to try and calm myself. I say “it is not him, it is the disease” or “I can get through this” or even have back and forth mini-conversation with me, myself and I! Does anyone else do this? Am I losing it?
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Got it
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SSDI
My DH gets a pension from local government retirement. He worked many years prior to that job paying into SS so he does receive some SS income but it is reduced due to Government Pension Offset. Will the GPO or his pension affect his eligibility for SSDI based on his alzheimers? Thinking about future needs, SSDI could…
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Sad realization
As things progress, despite the number of trips each day and distractions along the way (stopping to visit family, watch sailing competitions at local college, run an errand, stop at A&W for a shake and burger (our first date included A&W) or whatever, is seems that we are increasingly unable to find “home”. The arrival at…