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so sad
Went to a lovely party with my DH last night. A dear friend's husband turned 70. We drove to another state to attend, so there was not the option of leaving him at home. At one point, I became overcome with emotion and stepped outside, practically in tears. Seeing my poor DH, so lost, among so many happy, healthy people…
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You might be a fulltime caregiver if...
I am trying to find humor anywhere I can. Yesterday I was standing in a short line at the bank and it occurred to me how nice it was to just stand there quietly without (really) worrying about my LO for a few minutes. it occurred to me that we full-time caregivers have a slightly different view of our "free time": Standing…
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I need a pep talk
I am more of a reader than a poster, but I feel like I'm going through the stages of bereavement grief (angry stage) even tho my DH is still alive. I love to share Xmas cards but this year if I would have outlined my year it would have said; Happy Holidays, I spent the first part of the year doing the usual cleaning urine…
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Good weekend, meds working??
My DH has vascular dementia, we saw neuro two weeks ago and in the last 14 months, his MoCA score has dropped. He is still at 17, but painful to watch and big change. We are 6 weeks into Aricept, his word fining has improved a lot. We traveled to his sisters this weekend, a 5 hour drive each way. He had 4 other siblings…
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How-To Manage Late Stage Patients at Home ?
As a software engineer, I am a detailed planner and seem always to be a bit ahead of myself in thinking through situations and scenarios. In the case of caregiving for DW, I am trying to make a plan for how best to care for her at home vs putting her in memory care. I also cannot get a good grasp on what stage she is in…
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My Wife, Dementia, and a Silent Christmas
My wife, always the model mother and grandmother, used to host these epic family feasts. Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, birthdays - our house was a constant whirlwind of delicious food, personal touches like overflowing Easter baskets, and thoughtful gifts for everyone. She poured her heart into making each celebration…
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Helpful Suggestions Eight Years In: Part 1
My dear wife has suffered with vascular dementia for eight-plus years now. After this much time as her caregiver, and after following many of you on this forum, I would like to offer some very helpful suggestions. Many of you are struggling with this ordeal, and you may find these suggestions helpful coming from someone…
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Frustrating Healthcare Situation
A long and dreary vent - DH, 60yo, not diagnosed w dementia, but w cognitive changes that are FTDish, but could be related to heavy alcohol use or vascular changes. DH developed ear pain in Sept and fnally was in so much pain that he let me schedule Dr's visit mid Oct. (DH already has a challenging personality, his "brain"…
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Searching for the right MCF
I find myself agonizing over choosing a memory care facility both emotionally (am I ready? is DW ready? feels like sending her to prison) and logistically (finding time just to perform the search, cost, location, sales tactics, etc.) Thanks to numerous previous posts here I have some idea what to look for: · dedicated MCF…
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How does MC handle FI?
In the last couple of months my DW went from the occasional UI and FI incontinence to full blown dayile dbl. Every morning she is hysterical, screaming and yelling while I try to clean her up as well as the mess everywhere else not to mention trying to get her in the shower as that's the only way to get her clean…
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Alzheimer's paper FINALLY retracted
https://stanforddaily.com/2023/12/31/blockbuster-alzheimers-paper-retracted-by-former-stanford-president-after-a-decade-of-resistance/
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Bible Verse to Life You Up 1/1/24
CAREGIVERS SET THEIR HEARTS ON LOVE AND CARE FOR THE HELPLESS Isaiah 1:16-17 New Living Translation 16 Wash yourselves and be clean! Get your sins out of my sight. Give up your evil ways. 17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. * HOLY SPIRIT HELP…
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Constant agitation and psychotic behavior
First time on here, just starting the journey to seek help for little old me. LO is now 7 years into early onset Alzheimers...things are rapidly changing. I'm her 24/7 caregiver and its getting tougher and tougher to navigate through the day. The only calm is after a nights sleep, the first 2 hours in the day are calm and…
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New to this
How do I get to the page for friends discussion. I’m a caregiver for my husband. Thx
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Sleeping more...stage 5?
DH is sleeping at least 12 hours a day now. He has gradually increased sleeping over the past month. Usually it's 10 hours at night then about a two hour nap. Today he slept for 10 hours, got up for 30 minutes, and went back to bed. He more than likely has VaD or mixed dementia and is in his late 50's and I have noticed a…
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Helpful Suggestions Eight Years In: Part 2
Continued from Part 1. Manage Daily Life. 11. De-clutter and simplify your home – the sooner the better. If you start this process now, it will be easier to continue as your spouse’s condition worsens. Less clutter equals fewer items misplaced or misused. De-cluttering is very therapeutic – let go of things that will never…
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A Video That I Found Helpful
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MEDICATION
Please use an online site like drugs.com to check for possible side effects and drug interactions. Also chatting with your pharmacist before filling is a good idea.
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As good as it gets!
A few days ago my DIL (whose mother is in hospice care for Alzheimer’s) texted me to see how my DH is doing with his Alzheimer’s). I responded with a list of his issues such as incontinence and repetition of questions. She texted back saying UNFORTUNATELY THAT IS PROBABLY AS GOOD AS IT IS GOING TO GET FOR MY DH. The rest…
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When SO talks about visiting his long passed relatives
Hi, over the holiday, I got several questions from my partner about visiting his parents or sister, or buying gifts for them...they have been long passed. At first I asked if he wanted to visited the cemetery (family plot) the next several I told him I believed they were long passed and moved on. All the "shouldn't"…
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Medicaid puts lien on your home
Let’s say you have a Reverse Mtg on home( which is a loan agreement that you have a certain amount of funds available at anytime) if you or spouse are in a home and on Medicaid and they put lien on your home “can you still take out loan agreement amount with no issues with Medicaid.” ????
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Sweating and sundowners
Often, but not every day, my DH will sweat rather profusely in the late afternoon. It lasts for a couple of hours and then goes away. He doesn’t have a fever when this happens or any other unusual symptoms other than nervousness and agitation. The room temp is usually around 71°. He takes Risperidone, Memantine and…
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Results of PETScan
Hello all! Just got the results of my DH's PETScan and the reports says, "no specific pattern of dementia identified by PET." What the heck does that mean? Has anyone had that result and can you tell me what this really means? I suspect it means ruling out FTD and ruling in a more garden variety dementia? We have a…
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Grief
I have been caring for my DH w vascular dementia for 8 years. He had an especially bad delusional, paranoid & aggressive episode and I had to call 911. He was placed in the geriatric unit of the hospital and today I was told the psychiatrist recommends memory care. How do you overcome the grief hearing he’s not coming…
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For Jo
I am thinking of you during this troubling time. You are missed.
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What to tell family members before visit
My DH and I are flying out to spend Christmas with my siblings. Some of the family member haven't seen him in over a year. He's still functional but can't carry on a conversation, repeatedly brings up the few topics he remembers, and sometimes his choice of words make it impossible to understand what he's saying (sometimes…
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Done
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Question: Memory Care versus Long Term Care Capabilities
I am wondering how well memory care facilities handle the last stages requiring total care. Is a patient transferred to a long-term care facility? I understand that hospice takes over the process, but is more skill required, more in-depth care?
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Frustrated
I get extremely frustrated with the repeat questions! I know the repeat questions are really the first time questions for my loved one but nonetheless I get TIRED of answering them over, and over again. Also, I am my spouse 's everything. There are adult stepchildren but of no assistance. I have reached out to his friends…
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Hi Y’all I am new as of today
Hello I wanted to say Hi. I am enjoying reading the posts. My DH has dementia. He is 17 years older than me. I just retired from teaching in June and we have 2 children a daughter 21 and a son 24. Luckily our son still wants to live at home. He is very helpful when I am away. I judge gymnastics and some meets are 3 days…