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good options for in home care
My mom is in the advanced stages of vascular dementia and needs full time care. My sister was living with her as her daily care giver but she is now in the hospital with cancer. I’m staying with mom now but need help caring for her so I have time to work and take care of my own home. Facilities are too expensive and she…
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End-of-Life options for 55 Year Old husband with early onset? Legal planning.
Hello, My 55yo husband is in the early stages of early-onset Alzheimer's. We have three children, a 21yo daughter with autism who cannot live independently and is not able to work, an 18yo son who is about to graduate HS and head overseas for a year-long travel before heading to college, and an 11yo daughter who will begin…
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Mother's Day was hard
Celebrating any holiday, birthday, or significant life event has become so hard since DW has been diagnosed with VD, psychosis, and AFIB. It's hard to see her living in a reality that seems to torture her with fear, anger, and sadness brought on by memory struggles and delusions. I feel so powerless to help and because in…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
45 years ago today, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I happened to come across it on the internet and was thinking how much of a deeper meaning it has now. "What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day,…
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Milestones…
It’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to pop in here. In the grand scheme of things, I feel pretty fortunate with how my DH is faring well since his neurologist used the word “Alzheimer’s” as a diagnosis in August, 2023. However, I can’t help but look ahead and prepare for future progression and how much things will…
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Tales from the texts...MC and guilt tripping.
I'm just putting this out there to see if anyone has had a different/better way to deal with the situation I am in. As background, my DH entered MC about three weeks ago. We have been told not to visit for the first month or so. He seems (from the reports my DS and I are getting from MC staff) to be doing quite well, but…
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Just starting this journey
Newbie to this site. I started noticing DH memory slips about 6-7 yrs ago , attributed it to stress. Then starting questioning cognitive slips for about 3-4 yrs with it beginning to get worse. We finally got a diagnosis from PET scan showing consistent with Alzheimer’s. He is 57 in great physical shape and I am 53. I would…
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Confirmed diagnosis
My mother has an official diagnosis of dementia, what kind I do not know yet .. the doctor seemed to have the information in the chart but this was my first time attending my mother’s doctor appointment. over the past year has depended a lot on my father for answers , to include her birthday at times but didn’t really…
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another delusion question
Are delusions usually constant all the time or do the same delusions come and go. My wife has delusions about me but sometimes she doesn't seem to think these things and then the next day or two she believes them again. Do these delusions come from past fears or experiences from earlier life, even childhood, or are they…
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Moving to MC
Is there a time suggested to discuss a move with my wife. Some have said in advance of the move others says just wait till you’re at the facility moving in. Help
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Parkinson’s dementia
my husband has Parkinson’s and he is having hallucinations. He believes there are people in the house and that I am conspiring with them. I have been called filthy names and he has threatened to hit, kick or kill me. How do I deal with this? I am getting little sleep and my patience is wearing thin. Thankfully he is unable…
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For Jo C
I’m thrilled to see you are back online, and that you are in full volunteer mode. The new folks here have not had the benefit of your wisdom yet. 😊
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Social Security Office experience - Need to vent...
Oh my goodness. My experience with going to social security for my DH56's disability was the thing that broke my LAST nerve. I completely LOST it on the way home. I was crying so hard I could barely breathe. I had all I could do to compose myself as we left that useless office and walked to our vehicle. And, of course, as…
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Just need to talk to my friends (192)
Hi, Hope this works. Maybe we can just go to page 20 and start a new section so we can get to 200. It's sort of rainy here today - had a shower about noon and there's still a little drizzle. Hope we can get more rain later today. Ron, I hope things are going all right for you. Post and let us know what's happening - at…
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Disability and CELA Lawyer
Hello Everyone! I have been reading as much as possible on this site and have searched for answers to my questions to save any redundancy, but I'm still confused. I hope you don't mind me posting about this. After our appointment with the neuropsychologist, she insisted that disability is a must and should be my first…
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Middle of the night vent
4:30 and I've showered him, stripped the bed, mopped the floor, and started a load of laundry. I was so angry. And so so sad. I can handle almost anything. But stepping in pee because he decided to walk all over every part of the bathroom is hard to take. And when I sat down to cry, he came and held me. He breaks my heart…
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All I can say is ....
THIS REALLY SUCKS!!!! I WANNA SCREAM SO LOUD HOW MUCH I HATE SEEING MY KIND, LOVING, BIGGEST HEART OF GOLD WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ANYONE BF GO THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE. HE IS ONLY 44!!!! WHY???? WHY HIM???? WHY ANYONE??? WHY CANT THERE BE A CURE??? SOMEONE SCREAM WITH ME ... PLEASE!!! We are all in this together 💜
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stage and progression
My first time here. My DH (87) was recently diagnosed with ALZ…no surprise. His memory has been off for a few years now, surprised I didn't realized something was wrong earlier….well, that's in the past. Doctor seem very vague, I guess everyone progressed differently with this. To me its seems his mind/memory is somewhat…
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I want to hide
I just don’t want to get out of bed and face the day! To face DH. Sounds awful and I feel terrible saying it out loud, but it’s the truth! So many things that brought me pleasure no longer do. The sweet sound of the birds in the morning, going for a walk looking for sea glass on the beach, sitting on the deck on a…
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He hates adult day care - now what?
Just reaching out to this amazing community and hoping for some insight. My DH is 76 and diagnosed with Dementia about 13 yrs ago. Progression has been slow but recently has escalated with severe confusion, agitation and paranoia (is sure people, lawn care workers, people walking their dogs, etc) are stealing from us.…
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Lost filter
Out neighbor asked DH how tall he is and he responded “how short are you?” She said 5’7” and then asked him if his shoe size is a 15. So they played the guessing game until he acknowledged he is 6’6” and shoe size 13. She lifted up her foot and said that she wears a 15 because her arches have fallen and she use to wear a…
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DH is still very capable, but I am focusing on the diagnosis which frustrates him
My DH and I have been to a few doctor appointments and have been told he has some form of dementia. We're waiting on a couple more tests (hearing & sleep) before a follow-up appointment with the geriatric dementia specialist. DH says he just wants to live life and enjoy it as best he can. He admits he has memory issues -…
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Son making me feel guilty!!!
DH had AD 6 years now and have handled everything all by myself. He is on Trazadone for nighttime and Diazepam for agitation for day. My son feels he is getting worse because of the medication. I feel his dementia is just getting worse. He no longer has interest in TV. For 2 months now he wants to go home and questions all…
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Multiple layers
Most nights my husband gets up around 2 or 3 a.m. and gets dressed. I just let him do this, as I’ve tried everything I can think of to get him not to and to come back to bed. Anyway he always puts on multiple T-shirts and sometimes 2 pair of pants. Last night he really out did himself. This morning I could tell he had on 5…
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where do you live?
DW has been asking me this question most of the day "Where do you live?" I tell her, "Here." She says, "Since when?" I tell her, "Since 1981, when we bought the house together." "But I haven't seen you. I've been living alone most of the time." What am I supposed to do with that? She hasn't "seen" me because she doesn't…
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Why didn't you tell me?...
We get a daily newspaper. We listen to NPR's morning and evening news programs. The Israel-Gaza war has been one of the main topics for 7 months. At lunch, I mentioned the war, and DW said she didn't know anything about it. "Why didn't you tell me?" Oh, gee, there's lots I could say. "I assumed because the news media have…
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where did my husband go?
DW is now frequently living in a world where her husband, whom she loved a lot, suddenly left her without explanation, which she finds extremely upsetting. She says she had been living alone for a long time when I appeared, and she treats me like a guest in our own house. We will have conversations where she tells me all…
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How to have DH let family and friends know of his diagnosis
Hi, I"m new here (although did use this site often when helping with my Mom who passed from Alz). THis time my DH has been diagnosed with demientia - though we haven't narrowed it down to a specific type yet. SO still early on. MY DH is still in denial or hoping something will "fix" the mild(his perception) issues he's…
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Please chime in if you know
My DH, 79 , was diagnosed with moderate cognitive decline, possibly Parkinsons in October 2023. His abilities took a nose dive and all activities of daily living are left to me. I believe it was Jamie (?) who mentioned trying for VA benefits. I don't remember why (sorry, long night, little sleep). I just received a call…
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Just need to scream
Tonight DH went up to bed and came down again almost immediately to complain that "someone" kept messing with the shades in the bedroom and he wished they would stop. I reminded him that the only people who go into that room are him and me. It's true that sometimes, if he hasn't raised the shades in the morning I will do…