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What You Took From Me
Dear Friends, I wrote this on July 9, 2025: There is a beautiful woman here making dinner for us. She asked me how my day went today. The kitchen smells so good with dinner on the stove. She put her arm around me and gave me a kiss. It is so nice to have a wonderful wife who really loves me and is here to support me…
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Early stages of the disease
Hello, I am hopeful these discussions can offer me insight and a community to share our journey. My husband is 54 years old and has been experiencing cognitive decline over the past few years. In the Spring of 2025 he had an MRI and a CT scan of his brain. All appeared normal. His blood work showed his p-tau 181 levels…
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DH hallucinating that he's going to have an affair
I am going to post this, because I haven't seen anything quite like our story. My husband is in Stage 5-6 of This Crappy Disease, and he is now telling me that he would like to start a new relationship. The woman he's interested in is a neighbor whose name we don't know. He has been irritated with me because I am the…
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I'm new here. My 66 year old wife has Alzheimer's. It's rough!
My wife was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's but it seems fairly advanced. She was prescribed Rexulti to curb her agitation and sundowning that seems to help but she still falls back into "Who are you. I'm not married to you. Why are you here." What a awful disease this is! It's really tough being a caregiver for my…
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How To Prepare for the End
Hospice ordered a hospital bed and a wheelchair for my DW today. Her progression has been so rapid all through her disease, that I imagine she will be bed bound by the end of January. Who knows if she'll plateau or keep her breakneck pace. It has gotten me thinking more concretely about her end of life and how I might be…
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memory care and travels for me
I still have my husband at home after an abortive 2 weeks placement when I brought him home because we were both so sad. I still plan to place him since at some point he will be chair bound (really bad knees, bad balance, and firmly in stage 6). One reason for doing so is not being trapped in my house, especially in a hot…
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Cognitive test.
My wife is at Fast stage 6D/E. I just received a letter from her doctors saying she lacks the ability to make her own decision. This is hard to take in and process. it's final she will never be coming home again. I've mentally known it, but until you get the formal letter it didn't really feel real. At this point it's just…
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Dealing with verbal abuse?
I’m caring for my 85 yo husband. As far as I can determine he is moderately affected: able to do adls, able to walk slowly due to chf. Short term memory gone—less than 10 minutes. Orientation limited. Does walk alone around the block. However, his personality has changed. He has always been explosive when angry but…
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My Attitude is Getting Worse
My wife and I will have been married 62 years in March. Throughout our marriage, we've had our up's and down's - so much so that we're now to the point of having lost the spark that generated the fire so many years ago. Her mother had Alzheimer's and the fear of the disease has prompted my wife to ask me several times if…
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Home Dementia Specialist for Mind-Stimulating Work
Hello. I am finding more and more that my DH can not entertain/challenge himself when I'm not there to schedule things for him. Has anyone ever hired a specialist to come to the house to do work that stimulates the mind? Kind of like a tutor? My DH is in the early stages of Alzheimer's and I don't want to ask him to go to…
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Rexulti's effect on my wife with aggression
I'm new to this website. My 66 year old wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She seems to be in later stages though. My wife was experiencing severe sundowning in the late afternoon to early evening. She was aggressive towards me. She occasionally shoves and pushes me. She once tore the iPad out of my hands and ripped the…
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Depakote and Benadryl showing positive results
We started adding depakote (125mg) and a low dose of Benadryl to the serequol on Friday and I am seeing benefits. For those who’ve seen some of my posts my DW is one who is literally on her feet all day from when she wakes up till bed with temazepam. Different levels of restlessness and agitation. Mainly moderate to high.…
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Trying to keep up with life...
We are all in various stages of this horrid disease. Some caregivers spend most of their time on their LOs needs every day. Others who aren't as far along on the journey modify the environment and provide support as needed fo LOs who are still able to do their ADLs. I'm in the later group and am trying to stay on top of…
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Neuro-psych evaluation
My DH was diagnosed with MCI over a year ago, although I never felt that his neurologist did a complete evaluation. While I think that he got us started on the right path with Aricept and Cymbalta, we never got much info from him other than the MCI conclusion and now quarterly visits that just last a few minutes. I…
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affect of anesthesia?
my wife had what we thought was middle stage Alzheimer when she fell and broke her upper femur. she had surgery and was in rehab for 20 days then brought home. she steadily declined and her doc recommended hospice. she was dead in 2 weeks. my question is does the anesthesia have a profound affect on Alzheimer patients?
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Fixation with Driving
Those who post on this site provide a welcome wealth of wisdom. A frequent topic is giving up driving. To say this has been hard for my DH is an understatement. He was first officially diagnosed with MCI 8 years ago, and this was changed to AD 5 years ago. It was definitely time to give up driving when his geriatric…
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Need advice for choosing a blanket
We have been married for 55 years and always slept in a king-size bed with king-size quilts. Within the last month I have thrown out a quilt and have a second one at the cleaner (not cheap). My DW is starting to become incontinent. I intend to remain sleeping with my DW in a king-size bed as long as it is practical. We…
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Any experience with Rexulti?
DH has been getting more delusional and agitated. Doc suggested a switch from olanzapine to rexulti. Wondered if there is any experience with rexulti out there. I know every PWD is different but would still like to hear about experiences with this med. Also what dose at what time of day? Doc suggested a cutback reducing…
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Help with nail care
My husband's finger and toe nails need some serious attention, beyond what I feel i am able to do. His finger nails are long, yellowed and thick. A few of them are black in color and look terrible. His toe nails are really long and very thick. I'm amazed he can even get socks on over them, they are bad. They are too thick…
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Memory Care Hell
I placed DH in what was a reputable MC in September. It would take too long to share all the problems. But I have met with corporate leaders and now have the ombudsman involved. I have another facility evaluating him Monday. I fear that they will label him difficult or combative and make moving more difficult. Currently,…
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Feedback on a Draft Manuscript on Caring for an adult child
I’m looking for feedback from caregivers in Alzconnected about my manuscript based on the years from 2017-24 when I cared for my daughter. She died from Alzheimer’s n 2024 at the age of 58. I thought members might be interested in reading about my experience managing my emotional highs and lows. All I ask is that readers…
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Managing the Late-Comers
I wonder if anyone else has experienced this and has a good way to manage it. As it goes, the cavalry has not come, except I've been super lucky to have one of my DW's sisters come give me a couple of respite days every couple of months, so it could definitely be worse. That said, now that I've updated folks with the info…
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Intimacy and guilt
My DH (probably late stage 4 or into stage 5?) makes comments and wants to be intimate alot! I on the otherhand have not wanted to for some time, just no desire. I feel guilty for not being intimate with him, but just can not bring myself to. DH has always had a higher drive than me. I keep thinking this will probably get…
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How to handle my frustrations
My husband has lost his short term memory. I get frustrated with being asked the same questions and topics. Need advice or tips. Thank you
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Will my dh ever understand he has dementia?
Is there ever a time my husband will realize and accept that he has dementia? After at least 10 years of a slow decline, I’m just worn out from it, and incredulous that he’s still adamant he has no issues with memory. He screams that it’s ME who has the problem. To the outside world, he can seem pretty normal. And he’s not…
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Emotional Breakdown This Morning
I don’t know why I’m posting this, maybe just to acknowledge my emotions and share a positive. I’ve had contractors working on our home and property for 2 weeks. This morning they needed materials out of our garage. The garage is a train wreck. My husband’s son was going to help me clean it out but decided instead he’d…
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Start of incontinence
I knew the day would come. DH is now urinary incontinent for about a week now. I’ve been lucky it held off for as long as it did. He’s always been very resistant to my helping him in the bathroom with cleaning himself, etc, and it’s worse now. I don’t know how I’m going to get him to wear pull-ups when it’s hard to even…
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Not Recognizing Family Members
Any advice would be appreciated. We are only 1 1/2 yrs into this (I think] still no diagnosis. My DH has been suffering with memory loss, trouble finding foods and difficulty recognizing objects. It come and goes, some days better than others. Yesterday at our grandson’s high school graduation party he didn’t know ho our…
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So Frustrating
This is one part of this terrible disease that just frustrates me so much. How can you have a great day with your LO in a great mood enjoying each other and all of a sudden they just start crying uncontrollably for no reason in my mind what may have caused the change.
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Facing the Emotional Side of Caregiving
This website has helped me deal with some of my feelings, and to be kind to myself when doing so. I hope it helps you, too! https://www.caregiver.org/resource/emotional-side-caregiving "If you don’t deal with ALL of your emotions, they can be like a two-year-old who wants your attention: they will keep tugging at you until…