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The Cavalry Is Not Coming: 9 Year Edition
This is an updated version of The Cavalry Is Not Coming. I repost this occasionally as I have been informed that this article has helped many caregivers. This edition is mostly the same, although I have brought it up to date and revised it to make it more helpful. October 1, 2024 marked nine years since my wife’s dementia…
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For the eagle-watchers
Jackie and Shadow seem to be preparing a new nest. Here is the site of the live Webcam. Some members like to observe for a break in their routine. Livestream - Friends of Big Bear Valley https://share.google/Y8pyvVpGQPuUXhFar Here is an article about the pair. 2026 nesting season underway for Big Bear’s famed bald eagles –…
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I am new
Good morning, I"m new to everything and struggling. My husband has memory issues and has gone through a personality change. It has been hard the past 2 years and getting harder. Right now I just need a group like this or some sort of support. I love my friends but they don't really understand. He has alienated some of them…
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Lorazepam and hallucinations
My wife has a prescription for Lorazepam as needed for anxiety. She has taken it a few times and it has helped but today she was upset so the MC gave her the Lorazepam and she Had hallucinations and delusions most of the day. She was talking to people that were not there. She was happy, so that is good. She has had some…
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I really miss the wife I married
I can no longer have a meaningful conversation with my DW. I try, but she isn't all there. When she speaks, it's mostly gibberish which I simply respond in agreement or positive manner. The simple affection is almost gone. Everyday consists monitoring her and helping her with showering, hygiene and getting dressing. I miss…
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Driving
DH is 62 and has FTD semantic variant. I unfortunately had to turn him in to the DMV. He doesn’t know it was me. He had his evaluation Friday and they suspended his license. He is angry and doesn’t feel he is far enough in that he is unsafe to drive. He drives a lot for work so I am not sure what his plans are for that.…
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How People Can Help
Often friends will ask how they can help. For the ones that my husband doesn’t know well I let them know just checking in on me helps. And for the ones he does know the best help is taking him out of the house (for a walk or lunch) on a regular basis. It gives me time I can count on to focus on myself or errands, and it…
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Feeling Very Thankful
I just want to express my sincere appreciation to all of you who show up on this site. The shared experiences, rants and raves, insights, advice and love and shared vulnerabilities have made a real difference to me in how I’m able to navigate my day to day with my DW. Wishing You All the very best Thanksgiving possible.…
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Suggested Meds for Aggression
My DW is 61 years old and just recently has been started to be treated for Dementia/ALZ however the truth is she started showing signs about 6 years ago but it has been very difficult to have her cooperate with seeing a DR and progressively became worse to the point she became both verbally and physically abusive.…
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Hygiene...refused to brush teeth
My DH got a not so good report from the dentist about his gums receding. He hasn't been brushing his teeth, and now when I try to get him to do it, he refuses. I need suggestions.
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Slowly learning: don't argue, don't say no, don't correct, ETC.
So we've been on this journey with familial VD for over 7 years. Recently (last week!), I finally realized that 'arguing' with DH only upsets him and doesn't change him at all, BUT it makes ME feel terrible and guilty and wastes my energy. For MY MENTAL HEALTH I have to use the techniques endorsed by so many dementia…
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Afraid
My DH diagnosed with Alzheimer's has become increasingly agitated, even on meds. We meet with a neurologist every 6 months and the agitation has been ongoing for several years, although not this extreme. On Friday the neurologist nurse and I had a phone conversation to discuss the agitation, she suggested calling 911 or…
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Everything is perfectly normal...maybe not
Just feel the need to "talk". DH in ES to MS Alz. He has seemed perfectly normal now for about two weeks. You'd have to live with him and pay attention to know anything was off. Well, there is the thing about needing to explain to him who is who and what that all means when we are watching TV and the thing about misnaming…
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Now a Chef
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be 100% responsible for planning the meals. My DW of 65 years can no longer remember how to so here I am saying my God what do I put together now. I can fix simple stuff but just can't eat the same thing over and over. I take her out to eat often but just can't do…
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Just Sharing
It's been about 4 months since I've been on this forum. With the start of our 9th year since ALZ diagnosis, I just felt like I needed to share. I apologize for rambling. I recognize that everyone's journey is unique, so you may be able to relate or you may not. But I'm sure, as caregivers for your loved ones, you…
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Light therapy
Does anybody have experience with light therapy. I am looking to purchase a 40 hz therapy light and a 10000 lux light box for my husband. I have read good things about using light therapy, I was wondering if anybody has had experience with this
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How do I get him to accept respite care
I need respite but he refuses to go. What to do?
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reasoning
when logic fails https://www.facebook.com/reel/1219377039793212
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Ideas? Traveling and getting alone time.
My DH was diagnosed 1 1/2 years ago with Alz. Early to mid stage 5 is my best guess. He is still able to care for himself and do small projects and tasks around the house. Although he doesn't like to talk about it, he is very much aware that he is progressing. In April we are taking a 2 week trip to Japan to visit my…
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New to this whole thing
My husband was just diagnosed 4 months ago and we have been spending most of our time learning and trying to find every way we can do full progression or trying to get into clinical trials, we had so many plans. So many dreams.he is 62 and I will be 62 in the summer And after years together, we finally got married this…
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Hospice/burned out.
My DW is in hospice now. She doesn't really understand what is happening to her. She doesn't eat regularly and doesn't sleep. Her skin is turning a yellowish color. She can only stand up to use her walker if someone is there to help lift her, then she can take 3 to 4 steps before sitting down. The care home is wonderful…
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OVERLOADED WITH INFORMATION / NEWLY DIAGNOSED
My husband was recently diagnosed at age 64 with EOAD. It has been 6 months since diagnosis, and I will say it is very overwhelming. Sometimes I just have to stay off the internet / social media. I feel like 98% is all negative. I am just surviving the now. And trying to be present and accept the now. Everything is…
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Hallucinations
New to the forum. Excited to have a resource like this. My wife has early onset Alzheimer's. Her life is so disrupted by another person that she believes lives with us. She believes that this person steals and eats her food, steals and drinks her drinks, sleeps in the bed with us, wears her clothes, and on and on. She…
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Figetting
My DW is in stage 5/6 and will not sit still. Is there any medication that will calm her down.I have constantly follow her around and it's exhausting!
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Looking for advice ..
DH has VD from previous strokes and poor CV health. We have Kaiser Senior Advantage and supplemental insurance from his work. He is an army vet but never signed up for VA medical after separation. I would like to get him signed up for VA medical, not necessarily for drs visits or meds, but down the road as he progresses he…
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Trying to leave the house
My DW who is 67 years old is in stage 5 with some aspects into stage 6. I have my daughter at home to help me so I can run errands from time to time. Just about every time I leave (only for a hour or less) my DW wants to leave the house. My daughter tries to prevent her from leaving but then my DW gets aggressive towards…
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How do you deal with the trauma of witnessing this disease take over your LO?
It has been 10 years since I knew in my heart that mom had this disease, and that hoping her behaviors were brought about by something else no longer made sense. Before any doctor weighed in, I just "knew". Until two years ago, I watched my dad care for her at home. He carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. My…
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Adamant LO refuses to move!
I started to notice the cognitive decline of my mother in 2016, she blamed her issues on taking care of my step dad & his declining health. He passed 5 months later. She lived in their home until the pandemic was over & then moved closer to me, my sister is out of state. When she moved, she refused to look at any…
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My spouse can’t stop eating.
He goes out several times a day to buy food. He has hypertension and heart disease. He eats highly salted food. I am afraid he will have a stroke. Any one relate?
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Incontinence pants
just saw an ad on line for Dryment incontinence pants. Anyone know about these, are they all they say they are ? Thanks for your input!