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Travelers to Unimaginable Lands
Sending best wishes to everyone. It’s two years since I joined this forum and since I’ve given up paid work entirely to care for my DH with Alz. Thinking back and looking at photos, it’s at least 5 years since he’s been certifiably loopy. It took me almost all this time to really get a handle on things & I know things will…
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DH's friend is stirring up trouble...
This person thinks I'm imprisoning my DH by keeping him in memory care instead of moving him to AL or independent living or back home. He doesn't agree with my care plan for my DH. I responded by saying "he's my husband, not yours!" whether you agree with me or not. He says he's done some research and can challenge my…
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Losing glasses in nursing facility
Thanking you all for your suggestions. I feel it is going to be a neverending battle. I thought of getting a strap to hold them on but don't know if that is a good idea. Compared to what everyone else is going through, this is nothing.
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Losing glasses in nursing facility
My DH has been in a nursing facility for 3 weeks and he has broken and lost a pair of glasses. Unfortunately I didn't put his name on the second pair, so don't think there is a chance they will return. Any ideas besides putting his name on them. It is going to be an expensive if he keeps losing them.
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Why caregivers go nuts
While waiting for his doctor’s appointment DH took a pamphlet off a table and read it intensely for 10 minutes. He then handed it to me to see if I would like to read it. I glanced at it and said it was interesting. It was written completely in Spanish. We don’t know Spanish. Hmmmm Last week DH lost his house keys. We…
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My DH is getting increasingly aggressive and hard to handle
My DH is very restless and agitated, and always wants something to do. The problem is, when I can't go out with him - ex. at 6:00 a.m. today he wanted to go for a bike ride - then he gets loud and aggressive and says he will go anyway. Today he started for the door and said he was going. He gets lost in our apartment…
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Getting to the doctor
My wife has dementia. I took her to a neurologist and we both had brain MRI's. He scheduled both of us for a computer test and my wife refused to take it. I did. My tests were basically to try to get her there. She refuses to go to the neurologist and has not been diagnosed but it is obvious she is getting worse. Any…
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Another Let Down
Just venting my frustration. We found a Dementia Support Coffee Group, held once a month at Brothers Leagues Club, held in one of their small meeting rooms, it has an attached kitchen and is on the ground floor surrounded by gardens and trees. Lovely. So each month we would go, meet up with people and their carers. Then we…
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Excessive Sleeping and Managing Hydration & Nutrition
My wife is progressively sleeping longer and longer. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in 2020, but was afflicted before then. In January 2024 she was sleeping about 12 hours per night. In September we began logging her daily activities in a Day Planner and that has been very useful to allow our care team to communicate…
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DH does not know w
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Doesn’t want to go anywhere
My DW doesn’t want to visit family or friends both locally and long distance anymore. I’m thinking it because maybe she doesn’t remember them. Half the time she asks me what my name is. Should I just not worry and take her anyway. I’ve read that changes aren’t good. Maybe I should just accept that our days staying home are…
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This Cruel, Cruel disease
Today I took my husband to Respite Care for 2 days. Just a few months ago I would have never thought I would do that but things have changed so much. My DH is not a husband anymore and I am truly just his caregiver. I needed the break. Never would I have thought it would come to this as he was the man I loved more than I…
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From NYT: She's Trying to Stay Ahead of Alzheimer's...
Trigger Warning: This article discusses the euthanasia in the context of dementia and capacity to make that decision. https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/16/health/assisted-death-alzheimers-netherlands.html?unlocked_article_code=1.xU4.tbXQ.v-oE6OJf1pgh&smid=url-share
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underwear question
I bought the first box of male guards for leaks and dribbles for DH. I am wondering (haven't opened the box yet), are these basically the same thing as pad for ladies but made in masculine color? Maybe I'll use up the old ones I have first, any reason why not? I had to buy a box of 52, so maybe I could take the m back?
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Dermotologist: When to Stop
My DW had a small spot removed a couple of years ago. A tiny melanoma we caught early. Her father had a bunch of these taken off over the years and it got harder to manage as he went downhill with his dementia. He'd pick at the scabs and they would take forever to heal. Her other sister also has considerable melanoma…
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traveling with spouse with dementia- beginning stages
Husband has posterior cortical atrophy so forgets things easily, has no peripheral vision. But we love to travel. Considering the Caribbean to escape MN winter. We love to walk together. Plan to stay in one place from approx march 3-10. any ideas? thanks. Lois
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 2/8/25
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD Psalm 23 Amplified Bible A Psalm of David. 23 The Lord is my Shepherd [to feed, to guide and to shield me], I shall not want. 2 He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still and quiet waters. 3 He refreshes and restores my soul (life); He leads me in the paths of righteousness…
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My timeline taking montelukast
This February marks nine years that I have been taking the anti-inflammatory asthma drug montelukast multiple times a day for treating the extreme mental fatigue that I was experiencing. Here is a timeline of events. 1995 - My mother was diagnosed with early stage Alzheimers. 2009 - I retired from the the Department of…
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Bringing him home for now
Those of you who were on this site last year may remember my distress at putting DH in memory care in February. I have never been so desolate and could not accept that he couldn't be at home. I entertained the idea of having him half-in, half-out (thanks to all of you who told me this was a bad idea) and thought about…
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Wife will not help herself
my wife of 57 years has AD, MMD and high anxiety. She refuses to take walks, exercise of any form, stopped doing anything around the house, because of hip and knee replacements, cannot cook anymore because she can’t remember how. She constantly picks at me for how dirty the house is when I’ve cleaned it and how bad my…
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Over Stimulation
My DH son and girlfriend recently visited with their 2 year old grandson and he was SO loud and rambunctious. The next morning my DH didn't feel well, said he was cold (no fever) was stumbling and talking completely out of his head about something we couldn't understand. I think he lost most of the day. Later in the…
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From Maybe to Reality
Just need to share with someone who won't have to carry my burden…i.e. the kids. Twice within this week DH has told me he isn't thinking very well. It is possibly because he has been working on the taxes. I thought that he would be able to gather all the necessary paperwork this year and we planned on filling out the forms…
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F&$! Dementia
I sometimes have a mouth of a sailor, but seriously, to hell with this cruel disease. Woke up at 5am with poop all over the bathroom floor and it all over my DW’s legs. She’s so confused and doesn’t know why it’s happening. So bowel incontinence has started. I wish I could pull dementia out of her and kick its awful, mean…
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Necessity of a diagnosis
When we went to the neurologist and they did a 20 minute test on him and said that he’s in the normal range. That upsets me when we feel like we gained nothing and yet I know what’s going on at home. And then I think what’s the purpose of getting a diagnosis when all they’re gonna do is throw meds at him that aren’t very…
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Social security disability claim denied
UPDATE 2/20/25: the local office was closed because of a snow storm (no more working from home I guess) so we called the national line and waited on hold for 2 hours (yes that’s right, can’t wait to see if AI decreases wait times in the future) just to find out that the person on the phone didn’t seem to be able to find…
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APHASIA the sadness of not being able to communicate
My DH is stage 5 or 6 dementia with very advanced APHASIA. Within himself and between us we are very happy but it’s so sad we often only communicate by touch, smiles and often single words. He was always a great talker and during the night or early morning he will have a great conversation with me and I often can’t…
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New to group any advice
don’t know if I’m even at the place I need to be🤷♀️. My husband was told 8 months ago he had Alzheimer’s. He refuses to talk about it or tell anyone. Actually he’s in denial and says he just missed a couple questions. Spend most of his day away from me,,, he can’t relax never could,, and it’s like he gonna show people…
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Compassionate Allowances Act (faster payment for SSDI)
I’ve noticed some people believe they have to wait the two year period to received SSDI for Alzheimer’s. This is not true. If you are denied, please contact social security and make sure you are being reviewed under compassionate allowances. Read below. Thankfully, since 2010 Social Security has helped by adding…
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My 93 Year Old Mom With Late Stage Dementia Broke Her Hip Yesterday
My 93 year old mom is in late stage dementia and broke her hip yesterday. She’s lived with me for 6 years and this is the first major issue that requires a hospital stay and potential surgery. I’m waiting to speak with the orthopedic doctor and get his recommendations on treatment. I feel so guilty about what has happened.…
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Mom broke her hip two days ago
This past Sunday, I got a call from my Mom's Memory care. She had fallen and they thought her hip was broken. She was sent ambulance to the nearest trauma center and it was determined she did indeed break her hip (femoral head). They did surgery the same day and replaced the femoral head. My Mom was fully ambulatory, and…