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Moved husband to memory care and he just wants me
I brought my husband, who is in stage 6, to a memory care facility yesterday and today the director called me. I wasn't really surprised because my main concern was how dependent he is on me and how much he loves being home. Today, there was a woman who looked like me visiting another resident and he thought she was me and…
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Turning Corners and Crossing Bridges
Belated Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! I remain so grateful for this group, the life I’ve had with my DW, and even for parts of the life I still have with her. With that, the holiday was difficult as she turned another corner. Her stepdaughter and family were here, which was so nice on one hand. On the other, my DW asked me…
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Family Visit
Our beautiful son, daughter-in-law and two young grandchildren are visiting next week. Staying elsewhere but I'm a stressed wreck already. Our son and wife are the nicest, kindest couple but this situation with his dad (VD and aphasia) is hard for anyone to comprehend, understand and cope with. He knows that his dad is not…
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This poem by Owen Darnell
Most of you have probably read this before. I just read it yesterday for the first time. It brought tears to my eyes
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Explaining The Disease To Children
DW was diagnosed EOA two years ago. We have an adopted 9-year-old granddaughter who lives with us. I have tried my best to explain the disease to her, but she doesn’t get it. She resents the time I have to spend with DW. She gets mad at her grandma when grandma asks the same question repeatedly. They argue constantly over…
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invisible fiddling
DH has a new symptom. He is constantly trying to unravel, or remove, or pick off….some unseen thing that is obviously real to him. He says, "I'm just trying to get this apart" or, "Well, I can't find the end of it…". He is not distressed, just constantly busy. Sort of like a knitter unraveling their mistaken work.. I think…
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Just needed to release some sadness
My DH exhibits such extreme changes in stages from day to day. Emotional and mood changes seem to be prominent at times- crying in a restaurant over a change in plans. There is much child like behavior. I have learned how to manage this, however my heart is aching. I can’t seem to not let it shock me each time he enters…
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DH Angry Outbursts are Overwhelming me
My DH was diagnosed back in 2019. In the last 2 years the angry Dementia Monster has been getting stronger. We started him on Anti-psychotics in March and it was great for two months. We then increased his dosage in June. Yesterday and today have been extraordinarily BAD. only a month after the increase in dosage. Has…
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Weight Training in later Alzheimer's
My husband has done weight training for a few years with a trainer. He is now moving into the later stages of This Crappy Disease, and he has begun to shuffle. Should we continue the weight training?
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Dreams to Dreads
This picture above says dream if you look close enough. It’s in our bedroom across from the bed. Many mornings my DW would lay there and ask me what I dream about our future together. We enjoyed going over each others dreams and plans for when we retire. Now take that word and replace the M with a D and that’s where I’m at…
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Angry
I’m not sure why, but all of a sudden I find myself angry at my husband. I snap at him when he asks me the same thing over and over. When he was diagnosed with ALZ I was able to stay calm and compassionate. Now I feel like I’m falling apart. Has anyone else experienced this. He’s in the early stages so he’s not even bad…
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Nail care
my wife’s finger and toe nails are ridiculously long. Who would we hire to cut them? I don’t think a regular nail salon would do it, but maybe I am wrong. Is this something that a podiatrist would do?
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I want to scream and cry
DH is 61. I am 55. We started this journey of finding out what is happening in 2019. We have been through so much testing. Lab work, CSF (borderline for AD) we have even driven to Cleveland Clinic several times for testing. MRI’s 2 years apart showed progression of atrophy in the left temporal lobe. Recent Amyloid PET was…
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When to correct?
Seeking soem conventional wisdom on when and how to "correct" my wife of 48 years. She is mid stages of Alzheimer's and is now most happy talking about her early years of growing up. I try not to "correct" most things but am wondering what to say when she questions who I am, how long we have lived in our home. She believes…
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My DH has passed on
I lost my DH about 2 weeks ago but it still seems unreal. How long before I stop rushing through the grocery store because I can't be away more than a few minutes? When will I finally sleep through the night instead waking multiple times because he needs help? I am grateful that we never reached the point of moving him to…
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Taking advantage of an old post
If you are struggling, or just want to be ahead of the game, check out this post I started in Oct. 2023. It's about a free online 5 day course for caregivers, and the links all seem to be working. Take advantage while you can.
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where do I go for help
my DW is starting to become more aggressive, angry sometimes. There are times I have felt like calling the police but I don't want to do that. Should I call a crisis center instead when she becomes violent and angry? Also, any suggestions on who to reach out to for adult day care centers etc.?? TIA
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Palliative Care
Has anyone on this forum used Palliative Care? Was it helpful? My DH has unspecified Dementia, Bipolar disorder, ADHD, and hoarding. He lives in a very small assisted living. He is ambulatory, can shower and shave himself. He is often confused with delusions and hallucinations.
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Constant Falling
My Mother broke her hip a little over a year ago. Since that time, she now requires a walker as she has a significant limp from breaking her hip. She has also had repeated falls. Since she has broken her hip, she has fallen and broken her collarbone, then fell and broke her shoulder, and recently fell and busted her head…
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Leqembi
Just feeling blue this morning. Neurologist offered Leqembi infusions to DH with ALZ. DH is 90. It's 18 months of every other week infustions that will only delay the inevitble by months, not years, and if he does't have a brain hemmorage or stroke there are high odds of migranes and other side effects. We opted not to do…
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I Miss A Real Wife
Did that title grab your attention? This will be a somewhat long, therapeutic post. I have been married to my dear wife for 26 years, with nearly seven of those years in the dementia/caregiving scenario. Fully one quarter of my marriage has been overshadowed by dementia. I miss having a real wife. We had just 19 years…
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How normal is it?
How normal is it to have someone go from mid to late stage 5 back to a 1 or 2 for what I think has actually been weeks now? My DH is almost himself. Though I'm grateful, I'm trying to figure out what I'm dealing with. His mother died of dementia. His sister was DX'd with EO 3 years ago, given a 4 year prognosis, took the…
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Sundowners
Could this be sundowning? My DH was married to his first wife for 23 years. We have been married 32 years. This last week, in the evening only, he keeps telling me that he knows he divorced his first wife, but then asks me - did I ever remarry or do I have girlfriends? I’m wondering if this is part of sundowning because it…
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New to this
Greetings all. I thank you in advance for being here. Just over a year ago my dh of 48 years came home from routine Dr appointment with memory loss dx. For months we both questioned it. But in this moment I see that it was correct. Several weeks ago we had a difficult thing happen in our family. Significant enough to cause…
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My DW isolating herself
My wife was recently diagnosed with AZD- following a rapid change in her behaviors and moods. Since her diagnosis a month and a half ago, she has increasingly removed herself from any social interaction (including with myself, our children, grandchildren and close friends by lying in bed and refusing to get up. When she…
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Long overdue update
It's been a long time since I have posted on this forum. Not sure if I belong here any longer but I can't find another forum that even comes close to fitting our situation. For a quick recap my DH has had cognitive issues for over a decade, due to TIA's, white matter disease and an autoimmune disease. Significant history…
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Dementia Cruises/Vacations
When I searched this topic, I came up with a thread from a few years ago. Has anyone had recent experience with a travel company that takes specialized trips for PWD and their caregiver?
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DH now in MC - give it time-update
I moved my DH into MC late May. He is early stage 6. I got him there by saying our hardwood floors were being refinished and we are staying in a hotel. The first 6 weeks were absolutely awful. Highs and lows but mainly lows. He went from being continent to incontinent. He refused to eat. DH went from going in and out of…
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From the NYT: I’m Losing My Memory. Why Is My Husband Being Insensitive About It?
I thought this was a sensitive reminder of how emotional intelligence remains in dementia/memory loss. I liked, too, that the experience of the spouse was also explored. It should be a gifted link.…
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Seizures, are they part of the journey?
My DH, just turned 56, diagnosed with FD and EOAD, has had what I thought were dizzy spells. He's had 5 in the last 12 days. He's aware and alerts me to what's happening, they last about 15 minutes and his arms shake with exaggerated motion. The doctor thinks they are seizures and has ordered a CT scan. Is this normal,…