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How to have patience and not start resenting your spouse.
Hi: My DW has had VD for 3 years and I'm the sole care giver. It's 24/7 year-round. Today she woke me screaming to come wipe her bottom. Yes, I have had to do many times, but to get woke up out of a deep sleep to her screaming clean my bottom. I almost lost my temper; how does someone not get up start resenting your…
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Speech Therapy
I am just wondering what are the thoughts on speech therapy. My DH has VD about stage 6 and advanced aphasia. I am beginning to feel like a bad person because I have not taken him to a Speech Therapist. It was brought up in conversation with a Dementia Support worker. He can’t remember instructions and definitely finds…
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Xmas
Every year we celebrate xmas here. There is 13 people. My Dh didn't do well at Thanksgiving here,there was about 20. So i really don't know what to do. I want to spend xmas with my kids but Thanksgiving was stressful. He was agitated and hateful. I tried keeping him distracted and a place for him to get away,did not work.…
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Am I a bad person
I wake up every morning and pray that God gives me the strength and patience to get through another day of caring for my DW. She is in late stage 5/ early stage 6 and we have been on this journey a little over 3 years. Lately she has just cried every day wanting to go home and asking for her deceased parents and saying she…
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Trying to plan ahead
Sorry! I hit a key I shouldn’t have! I run a bed and breakfast in our home. I just love doing this. It’s good for me and it’s good for my husband with AD……so far! He’s probably in Stage 5 or so. He’s still functional but needs guidance. He is able to help me in the kitchen (dishes and clean up) and really wants to! He can…
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What Is Looking After Yourself
This might seem a bit silly but it’s said to me often by medical staff “look after yourself” Could I ask what does everyone do to look after themselves. Apart from getting enough sleep which is hard, is it a frame of mind, time out on your own once or twice a week and then where do you go. When you have a baby you never…
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Thank you
I have been mainly reading posts on this for two years. It helped. I lost my dear husband this Saturday. It was a peaceful profound and passing. His room was filled with love and music. Having an iron clad molt really helped. When the Er doctors mentioned a respirator, we knew to say no. He had comfort care only. Thank you…
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Trying to plan ag
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Intimacy.
Moderators. R we allowed to asked questions about intimacy? The issue was I was showing my wife of 45 years, and I became visibly aroused. She got highly agitated and started filing her hands etc. I was able to get her out of the shower and calmed downed. this has never happened since she has had dementia. Has anyone else…
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Question
What do the two icons in the upper right and the bottom corner of posts mean? How do I comment on a posts?
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Thank you all who had time to listen
I just want to say thank you to all of you who listened to me earlier in the year, as a new caregiver, to my husband who was diagnosed with HF and Vascular dementia in January 2025. He passed away on Friday, 11/28/205, peacefully. The dementia took it's full course and not the HF. He blew through Stage 3 to Stage 7 in 8…
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Agitation
My DH has recently had episodes of being delusional and gets agitated because he’s so confused. Does anyone know if there are medications that are good for occasional use in this situation. How about THC gummies or other varieties? Any input is appreciated.
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His Battle Has Ended
The love of my life, my DH Joe, lost his battle with dementia on October 31. He was diagnosed 15 years ago and progression was slow until the last year when he was in memory care. It broke my heart to move him there but it got to the point where I couldn't keep him or myself safe. Hardest decision of my life. In Aug/Sept,…
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Using an agency for respite
I have two caregivers who come each week, 3 hour shifts 3 times a week. I don't think they are available for longer periods as they have regular schedules. I would like to take a 4-5 day break after the holidays —maybe go visit my sister in San Francisco. The agency I work with has sent nice people so far, but for a break…
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Siblings lack of understanding
My DH was diagnosed with AD. He told his siblings and encouraged them to look for information about the disease. One sister is in the medical field. One brother is an educator. Another sister worked with individuals with disabilities. There is one other brother and one other sister. They do not understand their brother's…
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Functional Cognitive Disorder
I have a spouse that suffers with this and I am learning how to navigate this process with him. How can you help a spouse learn new things, but also want to make sure you have the patience to help them during the process.
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Just need to talk to my friends (212)
Time to go to bed and watch tv a while. It's been a long day. Hope all of you have a good nights sleep. Thought I would start 212 while I thought about it. Good night.
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Hospice care
I haven't posted anything for a while, but if anyone is considering hospice care I suggest you pursue it. My wife is in memory care and has had several issues. I think the hands-on care givers are doing a good job, but the facility nurse is out a lot and very hands off. She directs the staff based on reports rather than…
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Moved into Stage 4
DH still works Sudoku. I think he will forget my name before he fogets numbers. What has changed is the frequency of wrong word substitution, stopping mid sentance to remember what he was going to say, or stopping to try to remember what "that thing" is called. A month ago, he was having an occasional "bad day" and then 2…
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My Love is home.
Hi friends, My loving partner Luis of 6 years (46 yo eoa) passed away this morning peacefully in bed with me by his side. I am okay as this is all bittersweet. I am sad as my love is gone and I shall move on with my life. I am angry because this disease is horrible and robbed us both of growing old together. I am relieved…
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Cold Intolerance
I tend to run hot, all the time. My DH has developed cold intolerance. I have managed to put up with the temperature here… he wears jeans, socks, slippers, a t-shirt, and a fleece jacket around the house and complains of being cold. I wear a tank top and short pants, and I am burning up. We keep the thermostat on 73…
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agitation and aggressive behavior
My wife is 76 and in very late middle stage (6e) of Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed more than 10 years ago and has gradually progressed to this stage. until recently she was very cooperative, ate and hydrated well, and other than having almost no ability to care for herself was actually fairly easy to care for. Recently she…
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Terrified!
My 60 yr old husband was diagnosed a bit more than 4 years ago with EOAD/FTD w/ behavioral variant. He is late stage 6 with some components of stage 7. He is at home w/ me and I have part time care that comes to help. After an appt w/ his dr treating his symptoms, he tells me that because my husband is so physically…
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Happy Thanksgiving
God says … There is room enough in my arms for you, in my mercy for you, in my love for you. I welcome you, I cherish you — even after midnight, when weariness closes in and life as a caregiver stretches and frays the last nerve. There is room enough in my arms for you, in my mercy for you, in my love for you. I pray we…
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Sons and their Dad
Just talking. We have had such a lovely 2 day visit from our son and 7 year old grandson. They live 1500kl from us so visits are very special and require a certain amount of strategic planning to get away from work, fit in with school and sports and everything else that is going on in their lives. He brought me a new…
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seroquel question
For those people who have found success with seroquel, what dosage are you using and how often is it administered? We started on 25mg once a day to treat agitation. We saw no effect and moved up to 50mg once a day. We found some success with that dosage and have been on 50mg once a day for about 8 months. Lately the…
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How long can he sleep?
My husband is sleeping longer and longer. I know this is part of the disease but it is now 4:15 pm and he refuses to get out of bed. He is sleeping on and off, refuses to eat, and becomes belligerent when I try to have him get up, dressed, and have something to eat. I’ve read that it’s OK to let him sleep but it is…
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Giving thanks for you
Feeling thankful for all of you today! Thank you for your support, wisdom, understanding, and commiseration. Hoping you can find a moment today to feel thankful, and to feel appreciated!
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Concern about potential surgery
My DW has a condition that may require a hysterectomy or other type of surgery to correct a pelvic prolapse. I'm terrified that the surgery may accelerate her decline. To this point, nearly 5 years, she has done very well. We are still having a good life and she is happy as am I, although I live every day if fear of the…
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Early onset Alzheimer
My brother 62 has been diagnose with Early On Alzeheirs could someone share what does a through evaluation look like: what does the team who would look over his care look like: what are question he should be asking: I need specifics because as of now, his primary care doctor is making all the calls on his treatment plan…