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Not taking it well...
Hi, I am totally new to this...writing and my husband behavior. I also have a hard time with sharing about our life but my daughter told me...mom find some group for your self I can't help you. My husband developed sings of dementia last year in february which we didn't noticed right away. It has been getting slowly…
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Hours of PCA care
I remember my grandmother had 24 hour aides from Medicaid or Medicare in her last years of dementia (1989-1993). I was not too aware of what was happening at the time but I recall certain facts. My aunt lived with her and was her FT carer…did not have a job..and GM still got round the clock aides. I am in the same boat as…
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Haven't yet figured out dx, but new symptom
…has cropped up. Brief history: DH was struggling. MRI in Oct 2023 showed brain shrinkage. Initial dx: moderate cognitive decline (13 of 30 MOCA), suspect Parkinsons, and Alz. In March, Speech therapist suspected Ataxia and so far indications seem correct dx. Neurologist is waiting on Mayo Clinic results of genetic…
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How long does it take for a loved one to adjust to memory care
It has been 5 weeks since my DH was placed in memory care. Every time I go, he says things like, "when can I go home, I want to be with you, I want you to take care of me." I hate this. I say things like, "the doctor says you need to be here to feel better." It breaks my heart so much I don't want to go. I go home…
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Police officer called me at 5:30 am
My guy was diagnosed with mci 3 years ago. We lived together until 6 months ago. I told him he needed to move back to his condo. He is able to perform all of the daily living tasks. I felt we were no longer partners, but I was definitely his memory, decision maker, bill payer, etc. I informed his son I no longer wanted to…
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I didn't plan for this:
I am a fairly good planner. I was a project manager, so I know planning for things that can go wrong is wise. I have not planned for the case where I die before my DW. We have wills, POAs, and family members assigned to take over health care and financial matters. However, I have not planned for someone to take over the…
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How do you do it?
I know I have written posts before. I'm sorry to keep writing, but I don't know really where else to turn. I'm hoping someone has advice. All these nights where we go through the "we need to leave" and the need for movers have completely worn me out. I have explained over and over. He is convinced that he had no say in…
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What do you say to LO who is experiencing Hallucinations/delusions?
When my DH has hallucinations, talks about the people sitting around our house (just he and I live here) what should I do? What should I say. I mean, I've said to him that this is "our" home and no one is here but us. He gets mad and tells me that I'm trying to say he's crazy and that I'm planning on putting him in a…
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People don't understand
This is mostly a rant.. I saw a neighbor last night that I don't know well. When I explained who I was, he said that he knows my husband (stage 6) and "talks to him all the time." My husband spends time on the front porch during warm weather (it's been cold for the last 3 months) and talks to people who pass by. I…
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Anger seems to last longer and longer
Last night, and a couple of nights ago, my DH started again with wanting to go to the "other house" and not understanding how all of our things could have gotten to this house. Of course there is no other house, but he gets angry and tells me that I am horrible and he would never treat me like this. It goes on and on, but…
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Just waiting for this day to be over!
A little rant to save my sanity! I have been patient all day…made a special trip into town (hour drive round trip) so DH could go to Ross to look a shoes (he has approx 50 pairs of shoes in his closet, mostly unworn & still in the boxes). He woke me up at 4:00 am to see what time we should leave, even though we had done a…
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Just venting
I check in here from time to time, although I seldom post. I’m posting today only to vent a little bit. I’m frustrated, exhausted, angry, depressed — all the things we all experience now and then. My poor DH. I try so hard to keep things light, to laugh and tease the way I always have, to exercise patience (not my best…
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Sleeping a lot
In the last month or so, my wife has started to sleep a lot more—yesterday she woke up at 3PM, even though she went to sleep around 11 PM (and slept soundly through the night). It is now almost 1PM and she is still asleep, again after going to sleep at around 11. Some of this may be due to her medications (although there…
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My DH is gone
My DH left us this morning. His passing was relatively peaceful, but there was a six-day buildup to it, so I feel wiped out. As he was leaving the nursing home to go to the funeral home, all the staff lined up to see him out. It brought on fresh tears. My DH was a wonderful husband and father, and we will miss him…
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Alzheimers drug horror story from the NYT
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/23/health/alzheimers-drug-brain-bleeding.html?ogrp=ctr&unlocked_article_code=1.UU4._7lR.3WFk8efLcVB9&smid=url-share I hope this link works but this is a gift article which I can reprint its all here in a number of sections It is the worst ethical violation I have seen in my entire career…
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I’m Not OK But It’s All Gonna Be Alright…
song by Jelly Roll for those struggling and especially those in Stage 8 💜
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My Step Dad had a stroke.
2024 is ending the way it began for me and our family. My Cancer diagnosis, placing my DH in memory care, my DH passing away in August and now in November my 90 year old Step-Dad had a stroke. He has no children so I’m trying to help as much as I can. Please continue to pray for our family. Love you all. 🙏 💜
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What's my identity tonight?
I love my BF like no other. (45yo eoa) But I freaking HATE this disease. Normally I'm beautiful and he lo lo lo lo loves me (gotta love speech aphasia). But a few weeks ago when I was trying to get him settled for bed. I picked my battle as he was trying to remove the sheet and comforter from the bed i got up and came to…
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Saddened by signs of progression and feelings of inadequacy
We had a nice Christmas but it was evident that DH's disease is progressing. He can usually do a good job of hiding his confusion when the kids/grandkids are present, but that wasn't the case yesterday. And he's really tired today from the effort that it took. Although he's still in the early stages of the disease and I…
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Season's Greetings
Hi friends. I just wanted to stop by to let you know I still think of you all the time. I hope you can find at least a little enjoyment through the holidays, and I wish everyone a better new year. It might seem like an odd thing to say, but I miss you guys and gals, and I know I'm better off not being here every day. Two…
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Got Hysterical
Not sure why this happened. My DW was at the Activity Center this morning when the doorbell suddenly rang . A couple , who were friends of ours for years , showed up today ( Christmas Eve) with a beautiful tray of Christmas sweets. We had not seen or heard from them in maybe 3 years. As they were leaving we shook hands…
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Sleeping and Restlessness
I’m helping with the care of my mother with dementia. My father is the main caregiver but I step in often to give him a chance to rest and reset. Mom has recently started getting up multiple times throughout the night and refuses to go back to bed. As you can imagine both my parents are exhausted the next day and mom is…
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Well, That Didn’t Go Well
Oh, ya’ll. I had such success in getting someone in to clean the house as the cover to getting someone eyes on my DW while I work. That’s just one day and I’ve found I’ve run myself ragged trying to balance working from home, going to the office for a few hours, racing home, etc. Totally unsustainable. So, I tried today to…
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What stage and how long will it last?
I know every one is different but just wondering what stage and how long will this last. MY DH has gone from being angry and obsessed about driving to wanting sex all the time. He will not leave me alone and is always asking me if we are husband and wife. When he doesnt get his way he sulks and make comments under his…
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Hoarding
Is hoarding typical of ALZ? When my mother started hoarding I thought it was because she realized what she had lost and didn't want to lose more, even though things have little to do with cognition or mobility. My DH was a child in Budapest on WWII and suffered real malnutrition and deprivation. Now he not only hoards…
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Personality changes
so my husband was diagnosed with early onset within the last year. I (and the kids) have noticed some personality changes, only word I can think of is silly acting. Before we told my son (adult) he said on more than one occasion “why is dad acting weird”? Is this “normal”? Thanks and Merry Xmas
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Finding something for her to do
Lori is 69 years old 5ft tall 110lbs a very healthy women other than the Alzheimer's. She was diagnosed six years ago, now she has no memory, she can't read or write or watch any programming on TV or listen to books. She has a hard time with simple directions and her brain does not recognize or identify simple objects like…
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Wife won't let others know
My wife tells me not to tell anyone that she has Alzheimer's. Her mother had it for decades and told everyone. They were very sympathetic. How do I deal with this?
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Merry Christmas
Wishing all of you a Merry and Blessed Christmas Day. I know things may not seem very merry right now but I hope that each of us can find something to be grateful for today and know that you are blessed and loved. For me, I am grateful that my DH is being well taken care of in MC today even though I can't be with him due…
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Delusion medication
My wife has had delusions for over a year, but I have been able to deal with them, but now she is in Memory care. I see her every day. Her delusions were getting worse and she thought one of the other residents was trying to kill her. She was scared so we started her on some medication and now she is noticeably weaker and…