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Drowning
Hi everyone I am a carer for my partners mum. My own mum has had to go into a home and I feel desperately guilty I've now left my work and am looking after someone else and I couldn't mum. I am in a different space now but I'm drowning in guilt.
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Laundry day
Ugh! DH mostly made it to the toilet but there is a lot of BM in his underwear, I rinsed that out in the toilet later. So I'm wondering ….do you wash the underwear in the washer by itself maybe with rags or something, or with other regular laundry?
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Just need to talk to my friends (207)
Judith, I didn't get on the stepstool, stood on the floor and used a mirror. Hopefully, Beth will be able to post on 207 now.
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Ready to place hubby in memory care
after 4 years I’m ready to put hubby in memory care I have been in touch with the place for 3 years so familiar with director. talking to hubby about it but he doesn’t want to go. I’m facing what I never wanted to do and that is leave him there. Has anyone gone through this. My hubby is 82 and memory is terrible. Won’t…
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Is this considered wandering?
DH is in Stage 6 and I’m having an awful time with keeping him busy. One thing we’ve been doing is walking, even in the Florida heat (not ideal, but if he wants to, it occupies some time). However, he walks and walks as if it’s a one way trip - he wants to go a certain way and I have a terrible time getting him to walk…
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Anyone able to keep alzheimer spouse home until death
I have been trying to find anyone with experience keeping spouse at home with help of hospice until the end. My husband is finishing up stage 6 right now. And so far I have been sole caregiver with no outside help. He is 71 can still walk. Can eat on his own like a 2 year old. I have to shower and dress him. He just had…
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Travel and confusion
My DW of 48 years seems to get more agitated and confused when we are away from home. She is mid to late stages of Alzheimer's. We are supposed to go to the coast with our adult children and their families, but I am beginning to have second thoughts. Between the new location and chaotic nature of a large family gathering…
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Girlfriend reprise
You may recall last winter my dh had a girlfriend in his MCF. He was moved to the next higher level of care, and because that higher level of care has two separate wings I thought we had solved that problem. Today I find that girlfriend has been moved over as well and is now two doors down from him. I don't know why they…
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How to remain positive
Many of you on here seem to deal with things really well I have arthritis which makes life more difficult doing everything & sometimes I feel overwhelmed with everything & miss my old life Any advice please
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Respite to hospital
DH is on hospice due to heart condition including Alzheimer’s. My son got him to go to the nursing home by inviting him to go to his favorite place, McDonald’s. I had been sick for 3 weeks with what I thought was a recurring bout of diverticulitis. So I headed to the hospital where The CT scan showed a mass on my pancreas.…
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Paying for MC
we are in the earlier stages but I see so many of you talking about placing your LO in MC. How are you affording it? I am 55 and I can’t see spending all of our investments (which are not huge amounts) on MC because I will need that money to live on for the rest of my life. That sounds cold but I have potentially many…
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Urine smell in pants
Hi yall my bf (46 EOA) Has been fully incontinent for some time. He gets the bed nightly, is there a soap that gets rid of the light urine smell? It's not super bad but I notice it when getting his clothes out of the dryer. Thanks in advance. We are all in this together 💜
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Boyfriend with early stage
Does anyone have a boyfriend with dementia, repeating questions and forgets conversations? I could use some support if anyone out there can relate. He is very easygoing and loving, but wonder what this will do to our relationship in the future.
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Premonition of Memory Care Move
Last year for about 4 months before he went to memory care, my DH talked about being separated from me. He talked about how he didn't want to leave, that he wanted us to be together. He also would take all of his clothes out of his drawers every night and pile them on his bed like he was packing for a trip. There was no…
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Avoid all types of confrontation?
Hello, My husband is newly diagnosed, and I have so many questions. I'll start with just one today. For background: My husband is 56, and he has had memory issues for about three years, probably longer. He went through many doctor's appointments and tests and received the final diagnosis last month. I attended an…
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First experience with wandering
Woke up at 1:45 this morning with DH missing. First time he’s ever done anything like this. Sheriff’s office had helicopter going, canine units, added bloodhounds, silver alert, the works. So scary! They found him at around 9 about 4 miles away. He used to always carry his wallet which I had an AirTag in, but stopped…
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When to go to memory care
I sense that I will need to consider this for my DW later this year. When that happens, will she have periods of remembering?
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My husband is dead
This morning my husband died from Alzheimer's disease. I am incredibly grateful his wretched journey with this disease is over. I did my best as a caregiver though I fell short as you would expect a human to do. I will greatly miss who my husband used to be, but I will never miss what he became as the disease took hold of…
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Unmarried partner not living together
My bf of 77yrar d has had memory issues and I asked him to get evaluated. After months and months with several steps along the way he has been diagnosed with MCI. I can’t keep track of everything he does and it seems like he is forgetting a lot of things. Seems he thought he was scammed the other day and called ti make a…
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What I miss the most
No question just how I feel. I have had a couple of drinks and am sitting in an empty house thinking (drinking and thinking maybe a dangerous combination). I have been married for 49 years and during the first 25 years I thought we had as close to perfect marriage as possible. the last 24 years has been much less than…
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Sudden mental changes
My spouse (70) was recently retested using the MMSE test, her score went from 19 a year ago to 11. Over the past 6 weeks we have experienced significant shifts in personality and overall happiness. Before very generous, she has become very me/mine focused. She does recognize that we are married (48 years), last night…
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A good day!
I wanted to post something positive for a change. 🙂 Today was one of those days with my DH where I say to myself “I can take care of him, no problem”. He was a little bit confused and quiet when he first got up, but was in a good mood all day, no outbursts of anger, only a quick little mention of going “home”, easy to…
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Don’t know how to start, Long Rant Warning!! ⚠️
Okay, I guess I’ve officially “lost it”! I shouldn’t have, but I did. I flew off the handle and screamed and yelled at DW(stage 5/6) this afternoon. I stormed around the house, upset the dogs, and ended with us each going to our separate “corners”. I was an ass, it was bad! The ridiculous last straw was DW trying to feed…
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Home to his parents in the evening
For about a week, DH has been adamant about going hime to his parents or calling his father, etc. Usually it starts around 4:00 so I’m assuming he’s starting to sundown. It’s so hard coming up with fiblets that will satisfy him. I’ve tried so many of the ideas I’ve seen on this forum. Sometimes we drive around, going…
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THE DAY SHE COULDN’T DRAW A CLOCK
I read this today and it touched me greatly. THE DAY SHE COULDN'T DRAW A CLOCK “From the memoir-in-progress by Michael J. Whelan The technician handed Rebecca a piece of paper and gave her what should have been a simple task. “Draw a clock,” he said gently. “Put the numbers where they belong, just like a regular clock…
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Pisa syndrome (Pleurothotonus)
Hi friends. I haven't been on the site for a while, nor have I kept up with dementia related things. It is just over three years since I entered stage 8. So please take whatever I say with a grain of salt, and do your own research if needed. But I just wanted to pass this on in case it had not been discussed here. For…
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Long post. Beautifully written. 💜
From Michael J Whelan who is fighting cancer and his wife has Parkinson’s. “I'M SO TIRED! There’s a moment in this journey when denial dies quietly in the corner, and hope, the stubborn candle, flickers but does not go out. It is here when the neurologist stops suggesting, and starts testing. Not reflexes or memory games…
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CELA question for those who have consulted
I am going to make an appt with a CELA soon eventhough we had our trust redone 6 months ago. I need to know answers about shielding assets in the event a MCF is needed in the future. I dont know if this is possible or if Medi-Cal is an option or if it even helps pay for sine MC costs. My question for all of you is: should…
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Alcohol
My 81 year old Husband has mid stage Alzheimer’s. He is still driving and basically independent. Unfortunately he’s forgotten how Alcohol (spirits) affects him. To avoid him hiding liquor I let him keep in in the pantry. Unfortunately it makes him feel better/brighter but I’ve come home 3 times last week and he’s drunk. We…
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Walks hunched over
DH walks hunched over and walks very slowly. He's basically looking down all the time. He walks with his head/neck bent downward but he also sits that way all the time. When I ask him to lift his head up when I shave him, he will lift it just a little but then drops it back downward. Best I can tell is he's in stage 6, is…