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What happens if you can't afford AL anymore?
My Mom is so worried that she cannot afford to keep my Dad in AL. What happens to people who cannot afford to place their LO in facilities but can't take care of them themselves? Is going on Medicaid the only option? What if they don't qualify for Medicaid?
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Paperwork
I finally got the paperwork done for durable POA and Guardianship over my 45yo EOA boyfriend. I have been taking care of him for the last year and a half so why not. His one side of the family you know the ones who say "if you need anything I'll be there for you or let me know" yeah they are gonna be upset. I had my…
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Packing up to go to other home
My DH is packing up the car to go to his house. When I ask him where that is, he says our address. I have him look outside to see the neighbor's house, the street we live on, the yard, etc. He will agree this is the address, but there is another place. He has been going in an out so much the house is freezing! ( it is 21…
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One year MC anniversary
Today marks the one year anniversary of my DH going to MC. One of the worst days of my life. I knew the day was coming. I just didn't know it was going to come the way it did. He had pneumonia and was in the hospital and so weak he couldn't stand by himself. The doctor told me he couldn't go home. He said I could no longer…
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DH says he feels worthless
It breaks my heart when he told me he feels worthless because he can’t do the things he used to do. I reaffirmed the things he’s doing right but that’s not enough. He still says he feels useless and good for nothing.🥲
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My LO has FTD and struggles with accepting support
We have important financial and other things that need to be resolved and my LO can’t seem to get anything done herself and refuses to let me take on the tasks. How can I convince her to accept the situation and let me take control? Just reminding her and getting her to write things down hasn’t worked. Now she is getting…
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Procrastinating
I ask myself why I am putting off getting help at home for my DH Why is such a simple decision so hard for me to make. It would help me so much to know I can go out and someone will be with him. Give myself piece of mind. But yet I put it off ! Do I really want a stranger in my house , I’ll be tied to their schedule or do…
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Wants to talk to his parents
I’m posting again on this issue because it came up again but worse. He wants to see his parents again. I said they were staying with his sister for a while. He wants to call them to talk to them. I pretended to call his sister and that she didn’t answer - and I would try again later. Distraction wasn’t helping at all. Then…
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Wants to go home to his parents
My DH has asked off and on over the last few months if his parents are alive, and I’ve said no they are not and he’s been fine with that. Over the last couple of weeks, around 6:00 or so, he mentions he needs to go home. I tell him you live here with me so you can just stay here - again he’s been fine with that. Today at…
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Do some MCFs accept those who can no longer transfer?
The one I toured told me no, once they get to the stage of not being able to transfer themselves out of bed to a walker for example, they won’t accept them. And if they are already in their MC when they get to this stage, they put them in their SNF, which is like a hospital. No private rooms. Can you all tell me your…
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Waiting
Why do I always feel like I'm waiting on something? My DH has VD and alz. Plus multiple other problems copd cad ect. . Now he almost seems normal. I keep waiting for something to happen. WHY? WHY CANT I JUST ENJOY THE PLATUE HE IS ON?. What is wrong with me?
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projecting future costs and availability of funds
Today I learned that your investment person, or financial advisor, or ??? can put your information into a spreadsheet that projects how long someone's funds will last if they enter memory care at a given date. Intuitively I knew this could be done but it had never been suggested to me in a "you ought to do this now" sort…
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Being Alz”hammered”
Anyone been Alzhammered? Allow me to explain. So there you are finally taking time out, you go for a few hours out to relax and some of your acquaintances happen to be there. Mine happens to be the local Moose Lodge. Not so much friends but people you hang out with when you're there. Everyone asks you how your LO is… how…
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Is Memory Care inevitable?
My DH is stage 6. So far I’ve been able to be the sole caregiver. Family sometimes gives me a break. He won’t cooperate with in home care, just follows me everywhere trying to get away from them. Thank God for meds that keep him agreeable (mostly) He is incontinent and at times bowel incontinent. The underwear from…
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DW recently put in MC facility
My DW is 82 , and has middle stage Alzheimer's. After being a 24/7 caregiver for 2 years, I had to place her because I just couldn't do it anymore. She has been there for 3 months now. I visit her often, and she knows who I am and that we are married. However, she seems to be attracted to several men in the facility, and…
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From Maybe to Reality
DH in ES thought. Then, several episodes of mis-rememering, including asking our adult son if he remembered a certain episode from his (DH's) youth. For the past 3 weeks he has been just fine, more or less, just the occasional lost word. In my mind I knew he still had Alz, but it just seemed like , well, maybe it will be a…
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How can I get DH to sleep at night?
Hubby would probably be a wanderer if we still lived in a large house rather than a condo. He also needs my assistance getting around, even with a walker. So every night we're up and down going from the bed to toilet, to bed, to living room... he wakes me 8-10 times a night. Sometimes he does need to urinate but usually he…
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Paranoia
My wife has become paranoid. She has accused me of stealing her mail, and is convinced that our daughter has stolen bed pillows and jewelry from her. I’ve tried reasoning with her, but to no avail. Any ideas on how to deal with this?
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When you have to correct LO
My LO is certain her home is across the street and will head that way from time to time. The only distraction is to offer a ride home. Works. I know we are not supposed to correct lo’s, but how can you tell your LO that that house and others are not their home with out creating a stressful situation… Kind of an odd…
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MCI Diagnosis
My DH has been diagnosed with MCI after a fairly brief evaluation from a neurologist (with review of his MRI and bloowork). It appears that this is an umbrella term that could mean any number of things, so I'm confused about his actual diagnosis. I'm contemplating getting a more detailed neuropsych evaluation but hear that…
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Sitting Vigil
I am sitting vigil tonight at DH's bedside. It took three tries to insert a new Foley catheter this morning. Each insertion in recent months had been more and more difficult. He began bleeding out. He has an enlarged prostate and a latent tumor that he's had for 23 years. He may have a new tumor, too. He has lost a great…
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I Think It's Time
Not for MC, though that will be coming soon. Time to quit my job. I thought I could hang in there with it, but I simply cannot do it. I find the job so frustrating — a super dysfunctional org with lots of disrespect thrown around. And, I'm an utter wreck from feeling split every hour of the day between trying to keep some…
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Why?????
(Insert scream at top of lungs) Why??? Why my bf who is 45??? Why anybody??? Freaking WHY!!!!????? I HATE THIS DISEASE SO MUCH!!!!! Ill never understand why? We are all in this together 💜
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Torn and heartbroken
Hello all. I am coming to ask advise and what others have done. I have been advised by my hubby's doctor that it may be wise to get a divorce. What?!?!? Heart is not accepting that. They stated it was so that the state doesn't take all our assets for his care. If we do it now, it is early and they won't override it. Have…
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Sydney to Hobart Yacht Race
Sailing was what we did, always together, we started sailing joined our 1st Yacht Club in 1971. This is what I wrote on Boxing Day with a very sad heart. The Sydney Hobart Yacht Race All morning he’s said to me. What time is it on, I don’t want to miss it, I must put it on The cricket was going, the time ticked around,…
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speech therapy?
Hi, All, We have a speech therapy order from my partner's neurologist. They provided it at my request even though they were not very positive about yet I have read that it can be helpful for people with Alzheimers who are having difficulty speaking. Has anyone had any experience with this and could share? I would…
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Nonstop for my dad. Need suggestions.
My mother has had dementia for 2 years. My father is taking care of her in our own home. Recently, she has been nonstop needing something after helping her just 5 minutes ago. If no one answers right away, she'll throw her cup on the floor, then she will knock her tray down. She also intentionally tries to roll of the…
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Difficult for him but a bit of "light" for me - SSDI approved
My husband had two appts for SSDI a couple of weeks ago. He hasn't worked for two years, and financially I am struggling. On a side note, I didn't know initially that I could apply for my 15 yr old son as well. I guess I should do that now. I was worried about those two appts because his neurologist has never said "I think…
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New to group, in process of getting diagnosis
This is my first post. DH had neuropsych testing done today and now more aware of his memory loss than before. He has been depressed and PCP treating that. Going to first neurologist appointment in 3 weeks. Tonight he gave his drug addicted daughter his credit card number so she could get an uber. This is uncharacteristic…
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What Do I Need to Learn?
Hello all, Thank you for your collective wisdom. I've been reading posts and learning. My DH was diagnosed with ALZ a month ago. We're early in the process with MCI right now. He works, drives, cooks, etc. (but is slowing down cognitively and short term memory is poor). I'm taking some time off of work to get some things…