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What to say before taking DH to a day care place for a first time visit.
Hi, I have a question about what to say to my DH before I take him to visit a day care facility tomorrow. I am still his full time care taker with occasional help with our adult children. I am thinking of starting him out one half day a week and going from there, depending on how he does. He will want to know where we are…
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Total incontinence would be a blessing
DH still uses the toilet, usually with my guidance but occasionally he will try to do it on his own when I’m not watching. I have caught him going in places he shouldn’t, including a wicker trash can (wicker doesn’t hold liquid) and the corner of the bedroom. He will pull it out and start peeing even while walking to the…
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How do I respond to her confusion?
What is the best way to handle when your early onset spouse is saying for the first time over and over again she doesn't know who I am? Brought out pictures but she doesn't remember me. I need advice on how to respond in this situation.
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Agitation and Demands
Help....My DH demands ALL my attention and wants me with him ALL the time. Triggers are: me on the phone (without it being on speaker phone), me doing anything I'm interested in, me watching any TV program I like...etc... Just today he was fine until I would not go outside in the pouring rain to get the pressure washer out…
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Just crappie day
You wake up in a good mood. DH is so negative. You carry on. Try to get him in better mood in nope. Dh complains his tv is not working right. I work it fine explain to him what to do. DH tries again can't do it. Worse mood. Think I'll take a ride! Just me complaining.
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Missing at @M1
I know people come and go and life changes, but I can’t help missing @M1s comments. I’ve been a member for years. I mostly read and learned, rarely commenting until more recently. I looked forward to the almost daily responses to members postings. Funny how that happens. You form an attachment of sorts on this forum to…
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Books For Beginners Caring For A Loved one
These 2 books were a tremendous help for me when I started on this dreadful journey 5 years ago. Being new, I was not aware of Support Forums but reading these 2 books helped me kinda understand how my world was going to change …. and unfortunately not for the better.
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Donepezil
My mom was diagnosed with dementia over a year ago and has been on donepezil since. I would like any info people could give me with they're experience with the drug. My mom takes hers at night but I notice some take it in the morning, any suggestions on which works best? Thank you in advance.
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Donepezil
Unfortunately I have not seen any improvement in my mom‘s short term memory with this medication. Only the side effects like nightmares and things like that. I’m wondering if anybody has experience with their loved one getting off of this medication and if there is any side effects. I read one article that said if someone…
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Donepezil and Memantine
There have been several questions recently about these two. I have even responded to some of them but I have another question. Some have said that they have seen no affect from these drugs but if they are only meant to slow the progress of decline and Alzheimers progresses so much differently from patient to patient, how…
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Respite and Guilt
Oh, this damn disease. I was re-reading the super helpful "The Cavalry isn't Coming" post again and remembering how darn true that is. I've been on my own with this for 4 years, though have gotten a friend and sister to help exactly one time each. And now, I got a sister and a couple of friends to come take care of my DW…
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"Child" proofing cabinets
DH is at the point where he is starting to go into cabinets looking for things. Any recommendations? Do baby proof ones work or will he be able to open them? Any ideas will be so helpful. Thank you all.
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We took a nap
When I got to MC this afternoon, DH was lying in bed. I teased him about being in bed all day and he said he had just gotten there and was tired. I usually sit on the edge of his bed and visit with him and then try to get him up. Today, kind of on a whim, I got his extra pillow and crawled in beside him. The bed is small…
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Moving DW to Memory Care
How do I tell my DW that she needs to move to a Memory Care facility? She get angry very easily and she says she doesn't want to lose me. Our children are supportive, yet this is a very stressful time. Don't know how to handle it.
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Alzheimer’s-Posterior Cortical Atrophy
Don’t remember if I posted this already but I recently realized symptoms my husband had early on several years way before diagnosis. He complained of dry eyes but I think he just couldn’t describe what he was seeing. He also had difficulty spelling common words and doing simple math. He became obsessed with the garbage,…
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Me time in the morning
For 50 years DH enjoyed having his morning cup of coffee in the den watching the news. I enjoyed my time in the kitchen having my cup waking up straightening up! More and more he has been in the kitchen sitting in my chair watching every move I make. I understand why but it’s driving me crazy! I miss “my morning” time! We…
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Costs of early to middle stage care
I am looking at purchasing some long term care coverage. One that I like starts benefits when I can't do two of the six activities of daily living (ADLs), like dressing, hygiene and eating. Others start benefits EITHER for that, or for having cognitive impairment. I assume that there are circumstances in which I could have…
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Wonders of cognition
Yesterday my husband spelled his first name incorrectly on a coloring page, but an hour later while outdoors on a walk, he heard a motorcycle roaring and exclaimed, “Did you hear that motorcycle in this cold weather”! A compound thought! He has a South African aide with an accent who says his name over and over when she…
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Suggestions for Activities?
My DH was diagnosed about 3 months ago with EOAD, at age 57. His biggest symptom is aphasia/difficulty communicating, as well as loss of executive functioning. He does not have significant memory loss. He has no problem doing ADL, and can still go on walks solo, etc. Our issue is that the aphasia and loss of executive…
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I need help
my husband will not shower anymore. I have to learn not to ask him anymore because it’s wearing me out. Shaving too although eventually he does shave. He’s sleeping until 2 pm. I wish he were ready for memory care meaning he will refuse to go. I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s wearing me out. I think I’ll get in touch…
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Happy Friday!
Happy Friday to all the spouse and partner caregivers! Do something nice for yourself this weekend, however small! Sending love & hugs!
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How long did your loved ones stay in stage 5, 6, and 7?
I’ve read Tam Cummings staging and estimated duration of each. I’m curious as to everyone’s experience here on the time your LO’s spent in each of these stages? My DH went through 3 and 4 fast (just over a year) and is a solid 5 now with a couple of cognitive areas in 6. Do most make it to 7? I can handle a lot but am…
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Facebook?
DH is at a point where technology is meaningless. He uses neither phone nor tv remote. The computer and ipad have been ignored for a year. I have solved the problem of his phone and email messages, but what do I do with his Facebook account? He recently had a birthday and people were posting birthday wishes to him. I…
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[mouth hanging open]
Just had a phone conversation with my DH’s stepmom. She asked very specifically how I was doing, and then filled me in on what she was doing. Toward the end of the call, she finally asked how my DH, her stepson, was doing, but prefaced her question with, “but just a little bit; I don’t want to be sad.” I was flummoxed. As…
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Neurologists recommendation
Any recommendations for a neurologist in North Central Florida (Jacksonville, Tampa, Orlando, Gainesville, etc) who is particularly good?
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Visiting DON'T
I went to visit my dh yesterday, as I usually do on Sundays, but this time when we got to the exit door there was traffic. I waited for the person to finish coming in and for the door to lock before I entered the code and gave my dh "last hug" as I usually do. Just then several people arrived to come in so I slipped out,…
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Pulling the trigger on memory care
I am currently contemplating placing my DW into memory care. My original plan was to care for her at home until she died. I am beginning to feel overwhelmed and my health is beginning to suffer. Of course, I have all the conflicted feelings (guilt, feeling like I am abandoning her, etc). What pushed you over the edge and…
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Let me whine.
Seriously feeling sorry for myself today. Please understand I love DH. What he's going through is worse than what I am. BUT… I'm still feeling sorry for myself. This disease goes on FOREVER. Symptoms first showed up 16+ years ago. When I was barely into my 40s (DH was about 45) and still a stay at home mom. I went back to…
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Managing Work and Caregiving
I am struggling with how to juggle both a full time job and caregiving. My DH was dignosed with Alzheimer's at 60…4 years later and I am thinking it is time to leave work and stay home full time with him as I am worried about his recent decline. Also, thinking I need to sell our home to fund his care…so much anxiety over…
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Medicare Discharge,observation status & representative status: advise & help video
[also posting in Caregivers & Parent sections] After a call with Medicare that, shall we say, didn't go as expected I researched to plan my next steps and found this video. There is a no-cost CMS Medicare service called : qio = quality improvement organization that is supplied [as of the video date 2020] by two…