-
Holidays are the worst
As a caregiver for my DH who has mixed dementia and is in a mid to late stage of the disease I dread holidays. On July 4th people will be going places and doing things. I will be home but not quite home alone. DH does sleep much and is in a constant state of rage to the point where it is best if I don't talk to him at all.…
-
Bowel incontinence
My DH is still in the mild stage. I can leave him home alone for a few hours. He walks the dog without getting lost. But, he has urinary incontinence at night. Lately he has developed bowel incontinence. I’m not sure what to do about the bowel incontinence. Any ideas?
-
Medications for mood
DH is in stage 5 EOAD. He takes 100 mg of Zoloft for depression and anxiety. It mostly helps but he continues to walk around the house saying he is lonely and nobody wants to be with him. I am always there except when I work. I have caregivers in the house so when he says he lonely I remind him I am right here. I actually…
-
Numb to other causes of sadness now?
I’ve been grieving and sad since my husband’s diagnosis last month. This week, my mother unexpectedly passed. I cried the day she died. But then I haven’t been crying about that. I wonder if I’m emotionally numb from so much trauma or if someone unexpectedly passing is easier (for lack of a better term) than being with…
-
Am I going to die?
Recently my DH (56 yo EOA & FTD) has been asking me if he is going to die from this? He’s progressing and he’s scared and noticing the problems he’s having. How do I answer this? I don’t want to scare him or get him upset. I try to answer as vague as I can without getting upset every time he asks.
-
New member caregiver needing a support group
I would like to connect with other spouses whose loved one is in assisted living. I've tried Alz.support groups with all caregivers, but having DH in a facility (just starting year 6) creates some different feelings than when he was home.
-
Paying for MC
we are in the earlier stages but I see so many of you talking about placing your LO in MC. How are you affording it? I am 55 and I can’t see spending all of our investments (which are not huge amounts) on MC because I will need that money to live on for the rest of my life. That sounds cold but I have potentially many…
-
Peapod Mats
Until the last month or so I didn’t understand why I’d have to worry about the furniture or mattress. My husband wears the really good incontinence briefs from Parentgiving. But lately he seems to have forgotten what the toilet is for, and has multiple accidents a day. The briefs can only hold so much. I try to change him…
-
Sexual Behavior in Husbands
Super sexed DH II feel like I am the only 75+ caregivers whose husband is constantly wanting to make love or touch, lay with, hug or kiss me. Do others deal with this and shadowing? Does anyone have help or suggestions? I'm over loved😗
-
Learning stage 8
I spent so much time on this site while caring for my DH, and you all helped me so much more than you may know. I feel like I'm still in the 'middle ground' between caring for him and living without him. One thing that I didn't really expect is that grieving changed when he passed. I had been grieving the incremental…
-
Stage 6 - How Much Medical Care is Appropriate?
My DH is in stage 6 in memory care. He has afib and CHF which is managed with meds. He has a cardiologist appointment the end of July for a check-up. It has become extremely challenging trying to take him for appointments because he is so confused. I am questioning why I should even take him. He is a DNR and I have already…
-
Partner’s Legs Won’t Respond — Is This Common in Later Stages?
My partner is in a later stage of Alzheimer’s, and over the past few weeks, their ability to move has drastically declined. They used to be able to stand with some help, but now it’s like the brain isn’t sending the message to the legs anymore. No injury, just a complete lack of response. This has made daily care really…
-
Talking gibberish
My DH is Stage 6 b/c. Physically fit. But he is mostly incoherent, attempting to tell me something or ask me something. I used to be able to figure out what he meant, but very recently I truly have no idea what he is saying. He gets very frustrated with me. Impossible to redirect. We came back from taking our dogs to the…
-
Trapped
Well we are at that stage where I’m feeling really trapped! DH has been obsessing about his car on a daily basis.(previous post about that) . I just nod and walk away as he follows me yelling he wants his car. He just finished with home PT and an aide 3 days a week for 3 weeks. He of course was so nice to them. Did…
-
Help with getting a diagnosis
My DH has many AD symptoms. I've called his Drs office and notes were made to give to his med team. He refuses to let me accompany him for checkups. His false accusations, hallucinations and "hearing" things are really affecting my health. What more can I do, I'm at the point of leaving.
-
What small joy did you experience yesterday?
I’m new to the group, and this is my second post. I’ve read many of the past discussions, and one of the messages stood out to me: Take each day as it comes and recognize small joys. Yesterday, I caught myself smiling. We have a goldfish pond, and I briefly caught a glimpse of a goldfish baby dart from under a rock to…
-
Feeling overwhelmed and tired of dealing with this disease
I am so tired of the uncertainty. Whenever I think I can handle the behavior, I quickly fall back into a slump. I want a normal life, NOT this new normal. His hallucinations are off the chain. He gets angry constantly, accusing someone of stealing something or that someone was here. He sees people almost every day. I can't…
-
Lonliness when caring for a spouse with ALZ/dementia
My DH is not quite in the middle stage of ALZ, and most days he is "normal", but he isn't really. His critical thinking has diminished in most everything except math. We used to have spirited discussions about matters of faith, politics and so on. Now, half the time he can't hold a discussion about a movie that we watching…
-
In Loving Memory of “Jo C”
I’m reaching out, again, on behalf of my beautiful mom, Johanna “Jo C” Richardson, a passionate Peer Volunteer for nearly 20 years. Many of you knew that Jo C had been diagnosed with a progressive lung disease a couple of years ago. The disease did progress and Mom passed away peacefully at home the evening of June 19,…
-
accept help
How to get DW to accept help with personal hygiene?
-
Just need to talk to my friends (207)
Judith, I didn't get on the stepstool, stood on the floor and used a mirror. Hopefully, Beth will be able to post on 207 now.
-
Sleeping excessive amounts
my dh is 83 with late onset dementia and Alzheimer’s. He is sleeping soundly from midnight until I wake him up about 3 in the afternoon. No behaviors issues. Should I let him sleep that long??
-
eye exam for late stage
My DW used to wear contact lenses. After EO ALZ diagnosis, she switched to wearing eyeglasses. Her prescription has expired. It is a matter of time before she breaks her current glasses. We barely made it through her last eye exam which was 2 years ago. How are people managing vision care and eye exams in the later stages?
-
Family Visit
Our beautiful son, daughter-in-law and two young grandchildren are visiting next week. Staying elsewhere but I'm a stressed wreck already. Our son and wife are the nicest, kindest couple but this situation with his dad (VD and aphasia) is hard for anyone to comprehend, understand and cope with. He knows that his dad is not…
-
book recommendation-Bella - The Little Furry Chiweenie Who Saved Our Lives:
I follow this man on X. Michael Whelan. He is a cancer survivor & is now caring for his wife Rebecca who has Parkinson's. To cope, he writes. He just published a book called "Bella ~ The Little Furry Chiweenie Who Saved Our Lives: An Inspirational Story About Love, Resilience, and Healing." It's for anyone going through an…
-
Palliative and hospice care podcast
This is a very informative podcast about palliative and hospice care. Delete is not allowed. https://peterattiamd.com/bjmillerandbridgetsumser/?utm_source=podcast-feed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=250623-pod-bjmillerandbridgetsumser&utm_content=250623-pod-bjmillerandbridgetsumser-podfeed
-
The Cavalry didn't come......
Last week, my DH had a mini-stroke. He has been declining quite rapidly, and the stroke made his decline even more significant. I have been struggling with all of the emotions surrounding a loved one who is dying such a sad, prolonged death. I broke down completely, and cried out for help from my DH's brother, and his…
-
Communication/mis-communication frustrations
My husband with FTD, early stages, sometimes brings up a topic and I'l respond in a normal way, mild and "neither here nor there." Yet he'll take it as an attack of some kind and respond in an angry tone as if I've created an argument, or as if we're in an unpleasant debate about something. When this happens I leave the…
-
The anger issue
My DW’s dementia is progressing to the point where she will need to move out of our home to a MC facility. She gets increasingly angry with everything, and I can’t imagine how she will handle the move. Will the anger subside as her dementia continues progresses? Can medication help?
-
Vascular Dementia diagnosis
hi, I’ve been around here awhile. My LO (hubby) was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 5 years ago although he has had clear symptoms for 8 years. I didn’t realize this at the time, but two years ago he had a heart attack which is most likely due to his vascular issues. We had an MRI two weeks ago to get this conclusive diagnosis.…