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DH with dementia keeps saying he is scared.....
My DH with dementia - I think late stage 5 or early stage 6, keeps telling me that he is scared. He will actually be shaking with fear sometimes, but he can't tell me what he is afraid of. I reassure him that I am gong to take care of him, but he is still frightened. It happens sometimes when we are walking down a hall and…
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What stage for MC?
I’d like some insight as to what stage your LO was in when they were moved to MC. Is it usually when they’re in Stage 6 or 7? I feel like it’s too early for me to think about (except for a plan B) but sometimes I wonder if he’d be happier there then just here with me. He’s not wandering and he’s not violent (although he…
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Short term memory gone now what?
Curious if there is stage where short term memory is just gone? DH has been declining with his short term memory but the past week it’s just not there! The verbal cues aren’t working, or verbal suggestions. Thought I’d have him literally write a list of 3 to-do’s , read it with him, asked what he will do first, got a reply…
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Day 10 of Memory Care
Hi everybody, I haven’t been on for a bit. I’m still struggling to adjust to DH in Memory Care, and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Memory care hasn't been horrible, but there are definitely good care aides, and not so good care aides. I’m very glad I decided to go at different times of the day and just pop in…
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Introduction
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Why isn't the cavalry coming?
Warning: Rant coming When my dear sister had cancer she was seen immediately by an oncologist. The social worker introduced himself and explained to us both about the support available to her. Whenever she or I expressed an interest in any of their programs or had a question someone called us within a day or two to see…
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Do I s*ck at caregiving?
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Palliative Care
The geriatrician my DH sees has ordered palliative care and we've seen first a registered nurse and then a nurse practitioner. I wondered if anyone has experience with pallilative care and if it's helped. What are the benefits of palliative care. I was told they would be able to transition him to hospice if/when the time…
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Can anyone answer my question
My DH is in the late stages of AD and wets himself and his bed. I dont understand how someone who wont drink much fluid (less than 12oz a day) can wet through a pull up with a diaper over the top of it and the bed pads...its all soaked in the morning as if he drank a gallon of water. Can anyone explain this to me?
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50 years
In a few days we will have our 50th wedding anniversary. I know for a certainty that she is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. She last recognized me in 2017 and has been bedridden since 2021. She is 73 lovely as ever, with a few streaks of grey in her hair. I have stunning wonderful memories rated from G…
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Jury Duty
DH voted in the last election. The ballot was long, and he only voted for a few that he knew, but he voted. Our jury summons are pulled from the voting lists. Today’s mail had a notice for DH that his name was pulled for Grand Jury duty. No way can DH be on a jury. His short term memory is almost nil. There was a link…
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Managing Incontinence
I’m new here. My DH was diagnosed about 2 years ago with FTD and possible ALZ. We are now dealing with incontinence. I am ok with pull-ups but he has a bad habit of missing the toilet and peeing on the bathroom marble floor. I try to get him to go to the bathroom on a schedule but he just won’t cooperate. I’m not sure he…
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Visiting a stage 7 patient
DW has not had the slightest cognitive reaction for 3-4 years. She can still swallow but reacts to nothing else. She has excellent care. So why do I visit? It is no practical use to her and emotionally very trying for me. But I do.
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What I miss the most
No question just how I feel. I have had a couple of drinks and am sitting in an empty house thinking (drinking and thinking maybe a dangerous combination). I have been married for 49 years and during the first 25 years I thought we had as close to perfect marriage as possible. the last 24 years has been much less than…
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I Feel so Awful….
my DH is cognitively stage 6. He layers clothes, confuses hand cream for tooth paste, hasn’t known me for a long time, (though he likes me). When he is having a good day and 4 hour respite, it’s easy but he has to stay continuously busy which is hard. He loves the out doors, hasn’t wondered but daily gets cuts from picking…
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Combative and Unreachable
I'm reaching out to the most knowledgeable group of individuals who never wanted to be here, hoping someone may have some insight and guidance as I have reached my wall. My DH, love of my life, married 56 years, has been in memory care since last July - he has mixed Dementia - alzheimers and vascular. Diagnosed 15 yrs ago…
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Anger issues
when my DW’s memory lapses, I expect her disorientation. What surprises me is the anger that accompanies it. It’s like she is two different people. All I can do is be patient, but it is very stressful. The
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Caretaker of Mom with new Dx of Alzhiemer's Dementia
Hello - My mother (78) has fought me every step of the was through her Dx of dementia and now Alzheimer's. Today we saw a memory doc to discuss the possibility of the new medications for those with early onset. I was hopeful this would help my mom prolong the progression of Alzheimer's. Unfortunately she does not qualify…
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Re: Respite
Everyone tells me I need to take advantage of the respite being offered by friends - I have complied several times, however the fact that nothing is going to change with regard to caring for my spouse, especially at night. It’s only going to get more difficult and having an afternoon to do whatever for myself is like…
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Medicaid and Nursing Homes: Not Political: Just Necessary to Speak Our
I depend on this site for emotional support. It also has made me aware how lucky I am that my husband and I had good jobs and were super savers. I just finished a meeting with a money guy who went over my finances. He walked me through how I can afford good private memory care for my DH without complete exhausting the…
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Mush
My brain is turning to mush. Can anyone else relate to this? My DH not only has VD he also has APHASIA so we often live in silence. We have quite a few activities together walking, sailing, gardening etc but like everyone else it’s mostly 24/7 care, dressing, showering, food then household chores. Today we had a lovely…
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memory care leases
I started touring memory care places in case it comes to that. For those who have a PWD in memory care, do you have a lease that specifies a specific rate for a specific term? If so, how long is the lease? Are there any interesting terms to the lease that let you get out of the lease? Month to month for memory care sounds…
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Adult daycare
I need to get DH out among people and looking into adult daycare . Very few in my area but some 20-30 min away . Thinking of taking him with me is this a good idea or should I check them out in my own first?
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Early Onset AZ Newbie
I’m new to this community. I am (51F) taking care of my dear husband (56M) who was diagnosed at the beginning of January of this year with mid-stage early onset Alzheimer’s dementia. There were signs starting about 3 years ago that I just didn’t associate with dementia, and I (mentally) kick myself for not realizing…
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Challenge behavior?
Yesterday he started the inevitable. He forgot simple things, he repeated questions. Today, he stole my phone, hid it in his closet, he's being sneaky. When I found it, he went straight to where it was hiding to look. So I know he was aware that he took it, right? Then he unplugged my computer ( knowing I have school…
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Friend
I met him after he was diagnosed. It took me a while to realize how much he needed. He has moved in with me and I have a 4 year old daughter. At first I thought we would like eachother. Now that he's been in my home for two years, my feelings have changed. He needed my help and he helped me a lot. But I have changed our…
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Very Young Onset – No Answers Yet, Just Holding On
Hi everyone, My name is Cole, I’m 36, and my husband is 37 (turning 38 in July). I’m Autistic, and I’m very good at recognizing patterns — which is how I started putting pieces together that something was very wrong. Looking back, my brain started tracking the weirdness 2–3 years ago, but honestly, most of our marriage has…
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Move DW from Assisted Living to Memory Care
My DW was diagnosed with ALZ Dementia 5-6 years ago. She is now stage 6. We moved into an IL apartment 2+ years ago and just "upgraded" to AL. She has no episodic memory left and because of chronic pain and long-time mobility issues requires constant attention. She is often confused about where she is and who I am, but…
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Just wondering
My Dh struggles with anxiety, anger and apathy. As you know, the neurologist appt. was a bust and I don’t trust his pcp. So I’ll have to start with finding a new pcp which is a challenge and start all over again. It’s been 3 years since the “official” DX and I feel like I’ve gotten nowhere. The goofy neurologist has him on…
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How to stop DH from getting up at night to pee
DH had a partial amputation of his foot due to gangrene (caused by peripheral artery disease). He is not yet supposed to walk on his foot and I have someone with him 24/7 at sub-acute rehab. He will be going back to MC next week. How do I prevent him from getting up in the middle of the night to pee, forgetting about the…