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New to this transition
Hi everyone, Quilted Brings Calm wrote thoughtful suggestions to Catminor that were really helpful for me. I am new to the forum and saw that message about the process of getting parents into a care facility. I have a very similar scenario as many of you - my 85 year-old dad went into the hospital for a week in early…
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Family in Denial
My 70yo mom has been dealing with "undiagnosed" demential or ALZ for what seems like 10 years now. In the last couple of years it has become very difficult, but my father and sister do not want to take the next steps; accepting it and being pro-active. She has cancelled multiple brain scans, she hasn't been able to put…
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Questions
Dad has been having hallucinations that people are in his house stealing from him. Dr added new med 2x a day- after about a week he has been better. Stayed with us a few nights now wants to go back to own home. Last night he was seeing people again. Is this normal behavior- to improve then regress? The ebb and flow of…
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Dad has ALZ, Mom has cancer
I'm 34 years old and have two I'll parents. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2020. My Dad had a crisis behaviorally which led to his diagnosis of ALZ two months after my wedding (April 2023). This past summer was pure he'll. In and out of the hospital, Dad leaving the hospital against medical advice, him…
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I don’t want to know
I am 35 years old, last year my dad who was taking care of my mom with dementia passed away from alcoholism. I had to decline my acceptance in dental hygiene school, I had to quit my job to care for my mom. I moved her in with me and took care of her for almost 2 years. March of last year I found a home for her to live in…
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Elder Care Consult
I have one of those 15 minute consults scheduled for Monday with a CELA. Should I include my DH in on the call? I’ve told him I’m going to make an appointment, but I don’t think he knows why. I feel like he needs to be part of this. And then again for the in person meeting, soon I hope. He’s kinda distrustful (since the…
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Newbie here.....how to cope with my dad
My dad, unoffically, has alzheimers. He does not want to be tested. I am 52. He is 88. My mom passed 6 years so just him and I. He lives with me. I have my own business and work lots of hours. He has a part time care giver just so she can take him to doctor appts and get him out of the house for a meal. My entire life…
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Where to start
My father is struggling with dementia and my mom is his caregiver. However, she has been very dependent on dad all of her life, so she is very overwhelmed by all that needs to get done. I live 3 hours away and I am trying to help, but I am so unsure of what to do. My mom is so overwhelmed with the financial side of things…
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What kind of duties does a POA have?
My mom finally agreed to appointing me as POA over medical and financial responsibilities. What does POA allow me to do? I'm waiting for the official paperwork to be signed.
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Duties of being POA
My mom is finally letting me to be the POA. I'm waiting on the paperwork to be signed. What kind of duties does POA allow me to do?
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Early onset of Alzheimer’s and the cost of long term care
Hello All, My mother was diagnosed with early onset of Alzheimer’s in 2015 at the age of 51. She just turned 59, and the disease has progressed significantly. My father had to move her into a memory care unit housed in a nursing facility. She has been unable to take care of herself for years and needs additional one on one…
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Early onset Alzheimer’s (Stage 7)
We knew dad had been struggling for years with depression and insomnia but nothing prepared us for the effects of early onset Alzheimer’s. My mom has always been a working mom, 60 hours a week, every week without taking any sick days. My dad struggled with holding down jobs and was dealing with mental illness year after…
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New to the group
Hi, I'm Megan and I'm new to the group. I'm dad has been diagnosed with dementia and I believe that my mom has it also but hasn't been diagnosed yet. She is so stressed and I don't think that they're understanding what the dr's are saying but my dad (and his pride) doesn't want to tell anyone and my mom allowed me to…
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How to Care for Mom when She Doesn't Want It
My husband and I try to read as much as we can about dementia, Alzheimer's, etc so that we can give Mom the help, dignity and love she needs right now. (I've written previously of her wanting to go home...every week if not several days a week). It says that when she wants to go home, try to see if she's hungry, tired, etc.…
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Just a Little Advice Needed
My mama is 75 and her PCP has officially diagnosed her with dementia-close family members knew this for a while now but she is really hard-headed and she has to make the decision as to the doctors she wants to see. We are waiting on them to make her an appointment with a neurologist. I feel like smudge. I am calling to…
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Grief
How do you handle your grief while still caregiving (bring true to your feelings but not in front of LO?) and not get angry with/at them because of it?
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Angry forever?
My moms delusions and anger have become so taxing that our family feels like it may be time for full time care but she’s voiced she doesn’t want to go to a nursing home and “nothings wrong” with her. I KNOW she’s going to be irate with everyone. My question is, do you have experience with this and was your loved one angry…
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Sleeping 24/7 and refusing to eat
I am the sole caregiver for my 82 year old mother, and new here, but I am extremely worried about my mom because she is sleeping 24/7 and refusing to eat. I have reached out to her doctor but doesn't really seem to be concerned, which also worries me. Mom has also started having a lot of hallucinations and having…
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New here- need advice
My mom passed away in November and she was my dad’s caregiver who have ALZ. She was at a loss in how to help him or deal with his issues as she was having health issues herself resulting in her passing. I am an only child and she hid how bad my dad’s dementia had gotten. I am at a loss myself. He confuses me with her…
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Dementia - toilet clogging in memory care
My mom is in the later middle stages. Age 72. Started in assisted living but moved into memory care wing about 6 months ago. The day she moved in she clogged the toilet and she has done it almost every day since. She never did it before when she was in Assisted Living. The staff at the facility offers no ideas on how to…
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Terrible night
We had a terrible night and I lost my patience completely. I’ve posted before about MIL’s dementia. She came to live with my spouse and I about 18 months ago. Prior to that she had been staying with her daughter and family. Everyone knew something was going on but it wasn’t until MIL came to stay here that we had an…
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Moms bad spending decisions
mom has been diagnosed with dementia. I pay her bills and handle her finances. i have durable power of attorney. mom wants to be very independent. she lives with my brother and he brings her to the bank to take out spending once a month. the problem is she often spends money on things she will never use. its not alot of…
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MY MOM HAS EXTREME PARANOIA TOWARDS ME
Hello-- 8months ago my Mom had an MRi done to her brain but there was no exact diagnosis based on the results of the MRI> We also saw a Neuro-Pysch-- and he only spent a few minutes with her and I had to be the one to tell the story about her accusing me of stealing her under garments, jewelries, clothing, remote control,…
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Obtaining POA in NYS
Hello everybody! I am stuck on how to obtain POA over my mother in NYS. There is so much info on all the different types of POA's my head is spinning. I know the easiest way would be to hire a lawyer, but I don't think I have the money for that. There are tons of "free" templates online, but they're never actually free.…
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Troubles sleeping
My mom hasn't been sleeping properly ever since her surgery near the end of December. The first few days of the first week of her recovery I understood. She was taking meds that made her drowsy at times so naturally her sleep patterns are going to get screwy. However, she stopped those meds 3 days in. She leveled out the…
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Any help appreciated
New to the group. My mom has VD. She has been sick for over a year and lives with me (4 years ). She has other health issues as well. 100% nutrition from a feeding tube. She can go from calm to upset within a few minutes. Anything you have found to bring back the calm. Sometimes walking away for 15 minutes helps.…
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Seeking advice for mom with ALZ
Hello, I’m looking for some advice regarding how I can better communicate with my mom who has early ALZ. She has trouble with memory, focus, finding her words, and misunderstanding our discussions…which leads to her thinking i said something I didn’t and creating conflict. I know I’m not supposed to say things like “Mom do…
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Mom doesn't want to be cared for
Hi, My name is Stephanie and live near Albuquerque, NM. I'm new to this forum and dealing with dementia in general. I recently brought my 81-year-old German mom to the US as she cannot care for herself anymore (middle? stage of Alzheimer/Dementia). Back in Germany, she was hospitalized twice in Aug and Oct 23 and the…
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Need help but don't know what to do
My grandfather is 84 years old and has had dementia for years now but has recently been declining rapidly so I moved him into my house where my mother takes care of him. He has hospice care so nurses show up twice a week to asess him but thats the only care they provide .She quit her job because he needs fulltime support…
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New to this forum
Hi everyone, my name is Patty, My mom has Dementia/alzheimers. I still don’t understand the difference between both. My mom is 76 and she was diagnosed in her 60’s. I am the oldest of 3. My father is her full time caregiver. He is having a really hard time as he has lost his wife in essence. The good thing is I live 5…