-
Nanny Cam vs. Security Cam
Hi all, so the topic of installing cameras has come up many times as a means to keep an eye on my folks and the certified aides. Dad vocalized not wanting them on grounds of his privacy being invaded which I understand. However, it’s just getting more & more concerning with aides being lazy, falling asleep, and mom growing…
-
Hospice Diagnosis
Hello All Hospice has been helping my dad in AL for a few months now. They gave him the diagnosis of senile degeneration of the brain. Anyone hear of that or can you explain what that is? I know it is what it is, but just curious is this a form of dementia? I find so much help here, thank you to everyone!
-
Dad has passed
Dad passed away last week. Even though he was 102 and he had been on hospice for 4 months, I really didn’t think he was going to die so soon. Hospice never once said it was coming until the day before he passed – I think they knew my sister and I were doing everything we could to keep him going when they just kept saying…
-
Adult Day Care vs. MC
Hi everyone, In your experience, is adult day care more like respite care if the LO with dementia lives with their primary caretaker? My mom lives alone, and I'm trying to figure out if adult day care can help her continue to live alone at home through stage 4 so I can delay putting her in MC until stage 5, or if it…
-
Need ideas on how to get Dad through moving day...
Have really enjoyed the questions and commentary on this site so far! Like many similar situations I've read about here, Mom's ready to move, Dad doesn't want to, and doesn't understand why Mom wants to - we've tried many explanations, but it's clear Dad doesn't quite understand - he seems to think his "things" (he likes…
-
Preparing for parent pet loss
Hi everyone, 93 YO Mom with cerebral small vessel disease/suspected dementia and living independently--for now--has an elderly dog with Cushings that is in decline. Specificially, atrophying legs, stumbling, voracious appetite/thirst, growing incontinence, constipation, knuckling paws and stepping in own feces outside then…
-
Confused heartbroken and alone
It's heartbroken to watch my mum and best friend disappear in front of my eyes. I feel angry that I don't know what to do to let her know that I love her with all my heart ♥️ I'm not very good at expressing my feelings I'm scared I would take her place in a heartbeat Is this normal feelings?
-
Valentine’s Day Lunch
I guess lunch went as well as expected. We went later so that there would be fewer people. A local highly regarded Italian restaurant. No waiting (praise God) but MIL did not like the table we were shown and wanted to move to a window table. I went to ask the hostess (who said no). When I told MIL, she said she’d already…
-
Dementia and Hospice
Hi! I'm new here. Does anyone else here have a parent with late stage dementia and is on hospice? My mom fell Oct 9 and had a 18 day hospital stay starting Nov. 27. From there, she was unable to return to her MC place because she was not ambulatory. Now is she is in an adult foster care home, on hospice and bedbound. She…
-
when your mom's house is 2 hrs away and she needs full time help...
I brought my parents to live with me 7 months ago when she broke her hip. She now uses a walker full time and her short term memory is shot (alzheimers). BUT she still remembers she has a home and asks for a ride back every day. She cries about it daily. I feel awful. I bring her back once a month to check on things and…
-
My Mean Mom Doesn’t Want to be here
My 83 yo mom has had signs of dementia going on 10 years. She was officially diagnosed last year. Why so long? My brother couldn’t fit into his schedule to get her examined during the last 5 years she lived with him. Prior to that we weren’t really sure it was dementia, she was still reasonably normal just lost things…
-
Newbie Here: I need direction and help. This is new to me
I have read all the posts on this forum to date, and I appreciate the input. But my situation has some new elements, and I haven't seen all of them mentioned in one post: First, my mother is 82 years old, lives by herself on an isolated farm in Arkansas, where she has lived for 60 years. Her nearest neighbor is about a…
-
Helping Mom with finances…
How do I get my mom to trust me to help her with her finances? She is in middle stage, but insists there’s nothing wrong with her. She goes to the bank and harasses the poor manager there 2 to 3 times a week. She wants to take thousands of dollars out of her account all the time. Technically, she can, but it’s not safe or…
-
How to deal with some siblings about moving Mom to a memory care facility
My Mom has 24/7 home health care for 4 years. She is having more episodes each week and her mobilty is getting worse that she almost needs 2 people to transfer her. My siblings and I are thinking of moving her to a facility. However, 2 siblings out of 5 will reject the idea no matter what and not really thinking about the…
-
Wrong care facility??
My LO has always been overly sensitive and that seems to be getting worse as the disease progresses. She can't hear so the caregivers speak loudly. (She tells me that they yell at her all of the time) She's not always cognitively aware so the caregivers speak loudly to try to guide her. (She tells me that they yell at her…
-
Sudden worsening of symptoms
Hi all, I am new here. My dad was diagnosed with dementia in March of 2023. I still live at home with him and my mom. He had been living pretty normally since his diagnosis with a mild decline as to be expected. At his last doctor appointment on Monday 1/29/24 his doctor started him on Wellbutrin to aide in his depression…
-
Brother Communicated With Me
I just have to share my good news with you lovely people. After 6 months of taking care of my mom without a peep from my brother, literally not communicating with me at all, he finally sent me several texts today. He's ready to engage. I feel a million times lighter! ❤️
-
Long Distance caregiver soon temporary in-person/primary - advice?
Hello all! My mom (79) has moderate Alzheimer's. I live in another state with my husband and kids, but I will be in the role of fulltime caregiver temporarily in a couple weeks, because my Dad has to have a triple bypass and valve replacement. Mom can carry on conversations, but won't remember them - gets lost, needs help…
-
Dad thinks I am my mom
I need recommendations on how to deal with this ... dad called me tonight in tears saying how much he missed me and wished we could still be married. I gently said, daddy, it's me, your daughter. I think you might be thinking about mom...I tried to change the subject, tried to talk about what a great marriage he had with…
-
Don't think I'm the caregiver type...
Hi everyone, I don't get on here often, but do appreciate the support and I read alot of the comments on other discussions I can relate to. I just would like some input on something that is troubling me. Mom has taken a turn for the worse...I find myself wanting to avoid her, hide or leave for an errand. I don't have…
-
Sundowning, frequent bathroom trips and "wanting to go home."
My mom, who just turned 90, has been in Assisted Living/MC since September. She has adjusted well and participates often in activities. While she hasn't been officially diagnosed with Alzheimers, her behaviour and symptoms fit the profile and she likely is in late stage 4. She was able to bring her two beloved cats with…
-
Any advice on selling the house?
My Mom has (hopefully) transitioned to Assisted Living. She cannot afford to pay for it just with her income, her home will have to be sold. I am wondering how adult children dealt with the sale of the home when their parent is in the early stages of dementia. How long did you wait after the AL transition to start the…
-
When did you know it was time to move LO from AL to MC?
I've lived far away from LO for many years. My brother and I decided it was time for her to move to AL in December and that it was best if it is near me. I tricked her into visiting and temporarily staying in a community since no one is home during the day and she would have more to do. She still thinks that it is…
-
Specific diagnosis - Memory Center
Hi everyone, I hope your nights are going ok. Mine is the usual. Call from MC they couldn't find my mom for 30 minutes (she was hiding in her closet under clothes). Long story short: yesterday she had fecal incontinence, was very embarrassed, blamed it on someone else, resisted but finally let the director shower her. They…
-
Filing taxes
It's tax time and my dad usually does it. But now with his dementia, he gets too confused. He might not be able to gather all the paperwork for someone to do it for him. Any suggestions?
-
UTI and keeping clean
Mom is toward the end of stage 4 dementia. She can’t drive, handle finances, handle her own medication. She is still able to make a sandwich, get dressed and shower on her own. She is very independent and often thinks she can do things she can’t (mow the lawn). The dementia has also effected her moods. She gets very grumpy…
-
Coughing/Choking
Hi everyone, I wonder if anybody could offer some advice or share insight on this? My dad in recent weeks has begun having lengthy coughing fits that sound like choking. He doesn't have any evident difficulty chewing or swallowing food. Does this sound common and would anybody recommend any course of action? Dad was…
-
Hello
Good afternoon. After reading my Alzheimer’s devotional this morning, I was led to connect with other caregivers. My mother has Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. My sister and I care for her in her home along with two paid caregivers. It’s hard. Mom was officially diagnosed in 2020, and she is steadily regressing. I feel…
-
Time for Nursing Home for Mom - How/when to have conversation/s with her
My Mom has had 24/7 home health care for 3 years. Her dementia and her mobility have gotten progressively worse where it is time to look at nursing homes. How do we (my sibings and I) talk to her about a nursing home???? In the past for years, she has hated the idea of nursing homes. Her Mom was in one for 2 weeks. way…
-
Palliative care team advice
My dad's palliative care team is really pushing hard on my mom to make arrangements for POA. I'm glad they're pushing that instead of my suggestion. My mom told me my uncle currently has POA but I called him about it and he said he is just the beneficiary of her will. Now, my nephew is sole beneficiary so my uncle's is…