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Should my Mom(who has dementia) move in with me and my family?
Hello, I'm seriously considering relocating my Mom from her home in Puerto Rico to live with me and my family in New Jersey. Mom has dementia and needs assistance with daily stuff like personal hygiene and meals. Although there's family in Puerto Rico that are close, everyone is too busy to help her every day. We can't…
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Repeats one word over and over
I wrote about our plight at an awful RCF in another post, but as a result of that whole mess, my mom has gotten into a mode recently of only saying one word, at the same cadence, over and over again, all day long. Any time she's awake, she'll say "ok" or "ok-oh" with a one or two second break and then say it again all day…
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More Men Are Taking Care of Aging Parents. They Feel Unprepared.
Good WSJ article here: https://www.wsj.com/health/wellness/men-caregivers-aging-parents-sons-ba7a6d71?st=2mo7qktf0ucw7yt&reflink=desktopwebshare_permalink
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Mom Was Served
Good evening/morning/afternoon everyone! Yesterday was kind of a shock and I'm looking for some guidance. My mother got served court papers for a dental procedure she had never paid for. Long story short about 5 years ago she was told prior to the procedure that it would be covered by insurance, however once the procedure…
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Overwhelmed and adjusting
Hello, my mom was diagnosed with MCI vs early stages dementia. She’s 59. I would describe her to still have most of her independence but the dr has asked her to stop driving. She’s also got into trouble at work and idk if she should stop working. Working I feel keeps her in routine and I feel it would make her depressed if…
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Activities for Mom
I'm new here and looking forward to getting some info on navigating this tough time! My mom (71) has been diagnosed with dementia. She is still living at home with my Dad and is ok, but she wants something to do. I think she's missing work and being involved more significantly in church. I'm wondering if anyone has any…
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Caring for Yourself
This is for anyone who is in the condition of doing more for others than you are doing for yourself. The following is a paraphrased summary of a message sent to me. Hope it helps. There is and will always be unmet needs and no matter how many hours you work, how strong/gifted/smart you are you will never be able to handle…
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Feeling guilty for getting the diagnosis
Hi all I'm new here, I'm sorry this is a bit long. I've been providing support to my 86-year-old mother who is the primary caregiver for my PWD, my 93-year-old father. He has really only been clearly showing signs for 12 to 18 months, but he now has severe aphasia, and difficulty finding words. He is having memory issues…
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Lists
So yesterday I started a new job that is 100% work from home. I was so glad to get it so I can be home with mom during the day. Mom's doing so much better after this summer's problems due to her breaking her shoulder. She's nearly finished physical therapy. My question has to do with lists. Mom does pretty well when she…
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Unreliable source (sort of funny)
So I needed a humor break today. We are SO close to surgery. Just need cardiologist sign off for anesthesia and pre op consultation and we’re set. If had to live in memory care (and hers would be a first choice), I would need hot coffee to feel like a human and an adult. So I have really advocated to them for coffee on…
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Balancing Act
Hello Everyone, I've posted about this over the years and now it's time to implement a schedule for breaks, vacations, and time-a-way. My options are: 1) Take breaks up to 6-months at a time under the respite voucher and place mom in SNF. They are most equipped to handle most of her needs but not dementia or managing…
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Mental illness adult siblings
I’m wondering if any other families are grappling with the added complexity of having a mentally ill sibling incapable of providing adequate care, but dependent financially on a parent with dementia. I had to intervene 6 months ago and remove my mom from an abusive living situation with my brother. Mom had tried to get him…
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Practicing Detachment in Caregiving
Hello, I am the only child/solo caregiver for 91 yr old mother with Dementia/multiple health issues, I am the emotional, hands on, engaged type who does all things to full throttle. This approach does not work when dealing with aging in general and dementia in particular. I have to learn how to detach from the caregiving…
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Setting Boundaries on Home Maintenance
Mom was diagnosed with dementia several months ago, and is in the moderate stages. Her siblings, her doctor and I have all talked with her about AL, but she is digging her heels in and refusing to move. She lives in a big house by herself that requires significant maintenance. Several weeks ago, her TV broke and she was in…
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Anger
Hello everyone.My name is Ashley.I am my grandmother’s caregiver.She has undiagnosed dementia.She has all the signs and symptoms.We actually go next months for diagnosis.I am 35 finishing my degree and I care for her alone.My mom is in a rehabilitation facility because of major mobility issues and I ensure she is taken…
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Struggling with resentment
My mom is still in MC but is really pushing to go back to AL. Because she is on the cusp of needing it, her facility would allow it. She has NPH and has (thank god!) finally agreed to get the surgery. We all agreed that she’ll stay in MC, get the surgery, and we’ll see how things go from there. Here is my challenge: she…
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Managing money
My mom is approximately at level 5 Alz. Her brother who she hangs with every day drives her anywhere she wants to go. My problem; my mom goes to her bank at least 4 days a week. At the bank she will regularly withdraw $50–100 at a time. For example it is 10/20, she has withdrawn $900. How can I stop this action?
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Please Delete
If i could delete my old posts i would please be so kind and delete thanks so much!!
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Moving my folks into my house
My dear mom (DM) has Alzheimer's. My dear dad (DD) is her primary caregiver. They are both in their mid-eighties. We live in the same town, as does my sister and my brother. I assist my DD care for DM, plus a caregiver comes in 3 days a week. Additionally, DM attends a day program 2 days a week. Three years ago, I had my…
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ANGER with ALZ
My mom needs to be on medicine as she has become some irritable and very mean. Calls us names, hits and refuses to go to the doctor. She still drives, remembers quite a bit but forgets with her short term memory (the day, etc). How can you convince someone they need something for their mood?? We cant do a surprise visit…
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What to do after the diagnosis
My dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. However, his neurologist said he’s been on the cognitive decline for about 3 years already. Unfortunately, I only started noticing changes in his personality and memory at the beginning of this year. The things that were most noticeable were problems with his short term…
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How to communicate with a parent in denial
Hello! Rather abruptly it has become clear my mom will need to be in MC for at least the immediate short term, or even longer. She had an episode of delirium after attempting to travel solo to a family member, and while she has largely recovered, her baseline is way worse than before this episode. She was released from the…
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need help on how to socialize with my parent
My mom has had Alzheimer's for about 5 yrs now, and symptoms are to the point where my dad is fatigued by the daily routine of caring for her. She can do the basics, but can no longer cook, drive, etc. She has various obsessions (makeup, eye drops, etc) and is always losing things and perhaps throwing them away, to his…
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Practical ideas for dealing with "stolen" toothpaste
My mother moved to AL in late June and has adjusted very well. However, in the last two weeks, she has suddenly become convinced that one of the staff is stealing . . . her toothpaste. I purchased two large tubes just over two weeks ago as I noticed she was getting low. Then a few days ago, she said she needed more…
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Trouble helping my mother
My mom has been diagnosed with dementia for quite some time. She can't communicate with us properly, she can't do anything by herself yet we can't help her with everything since she isn't communicating back to us when we ask her. It's even the basic things like food, she can't give me or any of us an answer that we can…
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Care Taker Under 30
Hello to all! I'm making my first post here to try and gain some insight from people who are in a similar position as I. My mom is not even 60 yet, but she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (early stage thankfully) back in 2022, so this is all still fairly new as we both adjust to our new realities. It's been quite difficult…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 10/17/23
*TODAY'S VITAMIN We pray & help people as guided. Jesus taught "everyone" is our neighbor. See Luke 10:30-37 NLT for Jesus' teaching about the Good Samaritan. *I NEED TO REVIEW THIS OFTEN. How about you? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 New Living Translation 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or…
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Do falls exacerbate Alzheimers?
My MIL with Alzheimers fell recently, about 2 weeks ago. We found her on the floor by her bed and she had been there for hours. She could not get herself up. Nothing was broken, she was just embarrassed and mad at herself. She also had Covid at this time. She has recovered nicely from Covid but her depression and dementia…
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How can I make my questions easier to understand?
My grandfather has AD and has not been answering my questions properly as of late. One time we were out at a restaurant having some soup. I helped him take a quick sip of his soup and asked him whether it was too hot. He replied stating that it was delicious and that he wanted to have some more. Thinking that he meant that…
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Behavior: Taking items not hers
My mom is in MC unit and has been taking things from other resident rooms. Anyone else have this issue? What are they doing to manage the behavior?