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Memory Care
My Dad was just placed in a memory care facility. I live in a different state and would like input on how much time I should spend with him when I am in town. I don’t want to disrupt his schedule. A little info about his current condition. He knows who we are, he can shower and dress himself. He needed help with…
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Medicines No Longer Working
Hi all! I haven’t posted in a while. My mom, now 68, has been in AL since January. Since then, she has been on MANY medications whether sedative, antidepressant, mood stabilizers etc. It’s gotten to the point the doctor at the home has told us she is no longer responsive to treatment. She no longer holds a conversation.…
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Ectropion Relief
I searched forum for ectropion and read about someone weighing surgery for eptropion. MIL lower lids turn out exposing the red inner lid. We did surgery 1÷ year ago but they have sagged again. Same doctor now thinks face lift is needed! Not doing that. Does anyone have any suggestions to make her more comfortable, and to…
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Working through the issues (and emotions) - giving and requesting ideas for help
Hi. I just joined this group and have reviewed a number of strings. I find it crazy that with as rampant as this disease is, each case is still somewhat unique and there is not one methodology to deal with all cases. I look forward to learning from you all! I want to ask for direction as well as share some things that our…
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This is really hard!
Today is not a good day. I feel like I'm doing all that I have been instructed to do for my mom but it's really hard to not take it personally. I seem to be the target of everything that is wrong with her including the effects of my deceased father's indiscretions. She's 74, highly educated, financially independent but…
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My situation is getting confusing
Hi, My mom is 80 yrs old now and her dementia would be stage 5 progressing towards stage 6. I had brought her back to her house from my brother's place in June and my journey since then has been horrible. I have kept a caregiver too to take care of her needs. She was initially non cooperative and then later on in an…
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Geriatric case managers
Has anyone used a geriatric case manager before? Any tips on finding a good one? I assume the cost depends on the geographic area somewhat but what is a typical cost range? Does it still make sense to hire a geriatric case manager if your loved one needs to go to long term care?
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I am a child of a parent with Dementia with Aphasia
Hello My father has Dementia with Aphasia. My stepmother and sister have been his caregivers over the years but now mom has Metastatic Breast Cancer so will need to focus on that. I am flying to Texas to take over his care. I am new to this. So far he is starting to have "accidents" ie, cannot make it to the toilet due to…
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End state dementia meds
My father has severe agitation that seemed to come and go. Now the hospice and adult care home are wanting to increase Halperidol, sleeping med, and a pain med to reduce the agitation and sleeping problems. It hasn't seemed to have helped much but they have pumped so many drugs in him. He has had agitation and sleeping…
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Hospice - Meds / Ensure
Hi All - I was visiting my parents while the hospice nurse came in for a check on both of my parents. It was the usual blood pressure, listening to the heart and lungs, etc. Since I was there, she brought up the fact that both of my parents are on Memantine and would I want them to discontinue it? I know hospice doesn't…
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Struggling to get mother diagnosed
I have Medical POA thank goodness, but for last 6 weeks her dementia became worse very rapidly daily. I tried to get her to see her doctor, but she refused. I obtained mental health warrant and she was taken to a psychiatric hospital. My mom denied being suicidal, confused, and said I was trying to force her into a nursing…
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Support groups
Hi. I live in an area that is very rural. Traveling an hour or so to a support group location is not an option. Is there online support groups available?
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Falling Apart Caring for my Mom
Hello. I am not doing well. My dad had Alzheimers in the last 7 years of his life, and I cared for him. I thought that was all over when he died in 2017. Then in 2020, it started all over again with my mom. It's been 5 years now, and I'm going absolutely bonkers. My life is falling apart caring for her. Almost everything…
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Hospice at Home and Private Aide
Does anyone hospice at home but hired an aide to help? I am deciding what the best course of action is. It is less expensive to hire a live in and have hospice come to my home…I'm worried it will still be too much for me to handle. My mom is frail and is recovering from broken bones due to a fall. She is in pain, no longer…
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Needing to find a home
First off, why is there no comprehensive place to help caregivers / family when it comes time to find a home for someone with ALZ? Every resource I've found tells me different and conflicting information. It's insane. Anyway, my mother is now MS, nearing LS faster than we thought. As much as I would prefer to not put her…
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The Lawn mower saga
Alzheimers just stinks, and makes simple things so complicated sometimes. My Dad’s riding mower, AKA the tractor, had a factor recall in July. My mother had a company pick it up for the factory warranty repair, which took a long time because they were waiting for a part. Then at the end July my mother was diagnosed with…
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Benefits of therapy?
My mom fell 3 weeks ago and sliced up her arm on a dresser drawer handle. She had multiple sutures and wore a bulky dressing for 2 weeks, then had sutures removed. No longer needs the dressing. The injury appears to have healed well, for which i am grateful. She is no longer complaining of pain, not even during the suture…
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Anger about not going to church
My dad is 75 and in the mid-stage of Alzheimer's. He lived in a different state until 14 months ago when he made the decision to be closer as I am his caregiver & POA. No other surviving family lived close. What had been nice since his diagnosis was that he was able to convey that he knew it was time for the next "step" in…
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How to Get Legal Affairs in Order When You're Broke
Hi everyone! As the title says, I'm broke lol (it's not actually funny but I have to laugh or I'll fall apart.) My mom (60) is definitely progressing, and I don't have any of her legal affairs in order. Currently my mom is being taken care of by 2 people in their mid 20's, so not a lot of stability here as neither of us…
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Loss of Spouse, and moving to AL advice needed
My mother passed away one month ago of cancer, my Dad has Alzheimer’s. He was there when she died at home. He knows she died but does not remember being there. It is so hard to watch be traumatized over and over again, although things are starting to become more about how long he has been alone than when she died. So some…
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Newly diagnosed parent (75) - recommended first steps?
Greetings, My 75 yo mother was just diagnosed with AD. Our next appointment with the cognitive neurologist is not until January. What does everyone recommend I do in the meantime? I have an appointment with a neuro-social worker this week, but I'm not sure what I should be asking them for help with. I would love to get the…
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A lot of doubt and questions
Hi everyone, So I have been searching for a MC for my LO. I believe I found. They are a clean locked and local facility. A little higher priced then what I was budgeting for but seems worth it for the conscience of being close. I am worried how long money will last amongst that I am worried that it will be worse for my…
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I have So Many Questions..
Hi My mom was recently diagnosed with Dementia. She has visual and auditory hallucinations. She is very suspicious of people and even think everyone is trying to kill her. We moved her from independent living to assisted living and she was not happy about it at all. We had to keep her safe and get her more help because she…
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Still living on their own
My father (80) was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year. He lives in an apartment with my 82 year old mother. My father is in great shape physically but not mentally. My mother is in terrible shape physically and not so great on the mental side either. Unfortunately they do NOT qualify for much assistance as they make $100…
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Selling my Dad's car without the Title in CA
We need to sell my dad's car, now that he is in an AL/ MC facility. I have the POA, but not able to find or access the Title ("Pink Slip" as we call it in CA). Any suggestions on how to do this through the DMV?
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Preventing her from driving is worth it, right??
Oh man. We had several good weeks with my mom but for the past two weeks or so, she's been very upset! She (at one point) knew that she could not drive. And we have let her know that she failed the cognitive test which means she'll never legally drive again. But she is ADAMANT that she wants her keys to her car. And that…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 10/27/24
Dear Caregiver, there are many verses here, so my suggestion: Read a bit now, pray and think about it, and come back later to read a bit more. It is always worthwhile rereading and meditating on familiar verses especially these about love. You give up and do so much because you choose to help someone who needs you. That is…
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Mom's MC Facility has been without a haircutting person for months
Does anybody in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area know of a mobile service or someone willing to cut hair at a MC facility? I don't know why it's so hard for them to find somebody but they've been looking for months now to fill the need since the other Stylist left.
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Refusing help
My mother-in-law has been independant all her life. She's been dx with Alzheimers, is 87 years old and very suspicious/paranoid a majority of her life. What do we do if she starts refusing help and refuses assisted living?
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I just miss my mom
I am going to be 36 tomorrow, and my mom has been in memory care for about 6 days. I am a little devastated because I miss her. It is also devastating because she didn't sleep at all the first 4 or 5 days in memory care and when I went to visit her she looked HORRIBLE. Her face looked drastically different and it looked…