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Mom making dementia/ALZ assessment spreadsheets
My mom, (mild-mod ALZ), (AL w/no leveled support) loves making spreadsheets on Google Sheets. I have access to her acct and review it daily to see what she is up to. She makes lots of lists and writes letters to companies and friends and it is a good look into what she's thinking. One spreadsheet she makes is copying and…
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massage or facials for ALZ moms
Do any of you have any experience with your LO getting a massage or a facial at a spa? I was gifted an hour massage, followed by an hour facial today. It was heaven and I couldn't help thinking, during the facial, if my mom could have a facial and enjoy it. I'm not sure she ever has had one (professionally). I know that as…
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Sleeping in everything
He's wanting to wear his glasses and sneakers to bed. The glasses press into his skin and irritate it if he does keep them on in the night. He has very oily skin so it builds up under the glasses as well. The sneakers aren't bothering his skin right now but I do worry that they may contribute to pressure sores in the…
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shaky departure on a low staff day for dad's memory care plus recent "unwitnessed" injuries
Hello all, Dad really wanted to come with me today as I was leaving. He hasn't done that for a while, so I was out of practice. It was also a very low staff day today. For instance, I had to ring the doorbell three times (with long wait periods in between) for someone to come let me in. So I know there's a pretty good…
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Appt with CELA tomorrow
Our long awaited appointment with a Certified Elder Law Attorney is tomorrow. I have not discussed this with my Mom at all. I paid the required deposit for the consultation. She will no doubt balk at the idea - doesn’t need an attorney, too expensive, etc. I think that I will be able to reason with her regarding the will…
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New Phone/Communication issues
I see a recent thread ("Dad almost totally impossible to communicate with") with a similar question but wanted to extend the conversation. My dad (just turned 88, vascular dementia) has been in assisted living for a few months and at first was calling over and over (both me and other friends and family.) But now not only…
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Having to move mom out of home
Hello. This is my first discussion as things are changing with my LO. My mom has Alzheimer's and was diagnosed about 5 years ago. After a year in, my daughter moved in with her to help care for her and was there 2 years, then my niece moved in for another 2 years. She has repeatedly vocalized wanting to stay in her home,…
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Finally have answers, now what?!
I had been telling the doctors that something was going with my mom for a year and they finally did test. This year the test confirmed that her memory is fading. I just hate that it took so long. My mom started needing more care now, so I had to put her in a rehab, because I am exhausted. I’ve been taking care of her since…
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Transitioning Colorado to Illinois
Good morning, My parents are both in various stages of dementia. Father Lewy Body and mom Alztimers. I do their finances, set them up with DivvyDose pharmacy, made sure they have no access to driving. My father recently had a pacemaker put in and has slid downhill the last few weeks. They are currently in Colorado and we…
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Not thriving in MC
This is my mother’s sixth week in MC. There have been highs and lows in that time. If I’m being honest with myself the low periods are increasing in both duration and intensity. She rarely participates in activities and often needs encouragement to go to meals. We were hoping to see some improvement and it seems the…
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Living Drama
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Family Conflicts
My mom’s dementia was diagnosed 2yrs ago. I don’t get along with my 2 sisters. In the past 2yrs I have asked for help several times, especially to hire caretakers. They (POA) won’t hire more help. They are monitoring her through a Ring Doorbell Cam. Now, I believe they are monitoring me through this cam, which seems very…
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When to prepare
Hello I am new to this group. Glad to have found it. My father has dementia and is slowly refuses to chew and swallow. He is mostly on bed and cannot move at all. I am hoping for any type of supports and advises and when I should be prepared for the next steps in his life.
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Knowing What to do
My brother & I are working together now to support my mom who was just diagnosed officially with ALZ but has been showing symptoms now for at least 2 years. We want the best for her and to keep her safe and we both are heartbroken. Her short term memory is mostly gone. She has some word and name retrieval issues, and has…
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Crying often, delusional
Hi, my 85 yo dad was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. Overnight, it seemed, his behaviors worsened. He cries a lot, says he wants to go home and asks where all the other people are. It’s heartbreaking to see this. I am his primary CG. My brother is flying in soon to take over for a few days. My world has shrunk so much. I want to…
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Dad's Almost Totally Impossible to Communicate With - Help Needed
[I've been a lurker for a few months, but I'm hoping to get some advice. Thanks, in advance.] My Dad (82) was diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's just under a year ago. Yes, I was floored. But it made sense, too. We'd been fighting for a few years regarding how he's [not] been communicating me in a reliable manner. For…
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Depends or other for "egg shaped" man
Hello, My LO is a pretty typical shaped older man-5'9" 215# - big belly, flat butt and thin legs. His urinary incontinence is getting worse but nothing fits right so there are leaks, esp in the back. He's tried Depends pull ups and 2 of the disposable underwear style for men. Getting to the point that they're not optional,…
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Is this anxiety or something else?
My FIL can meet most of his ADL's except for an occasional bathroom accident and dressing correctly. He can feed himself but we have to fix his plate for him and lately he seems to have issues maybe figuring out silverware, we have noticed him using his fingers more. IADL's are another story, as far as I can tell he can't…
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Cell Phone
My father is starting to experience issues with the phone and keeps calling 911, as he thinks he needs to turn his phone off after every use. I really don't want to get rid of it as we're just 2 months past taking away his car which has been a hard adjustment. Any advice?
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Newly diagnosed father with Alzheimer's
Hi all - so glad I found this site. My dad is 66 years old, and I am 27. He is still living on his own. We only recently got the diagnosis (within the past two weeks), and he is in the mild/moderate range of dementia. I live two states away, but my brother is within an hour. I am having a hard time figuring out what to do,…
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Medicaid Pending AL monthly payments
**update: I ended up paying. Director refused to put in writing that they will honor the overpay in credits. Said it would make him look "disingenuous". That he has to honor the credits or it would be Medicaid fraud. It was taking too much of a toll on my mental health to have this battle as my attorney's quit responding…
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Mother dissatisfied with live-in caregiver
My mom is fortunate enough to have a live-in caregiver, this is her second. (the first was for three weeks, didn't have a car, and was temporary until the caregiver with the car was available). The first person she had a really tough time with, and my mom got really mean and nasty to this person, they would get in shouting…
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More clothing struggles
I had mentioned earlier my mom doesn't wear any new clothes, bought since ALZ diagnosis 3 years ago. She constantly asks for new clothes, I take her shopping, she tries and chooses, we buy, she never wears. This group mentioned buying same/similar and also taking online bought clothes with us for her to try in dressing…
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Awakes during the night to urinate
I care for my 94 year old mother who lives with me. She is in moderate stage I believe and has days and nights mixed up. She needs assistance with everything but feeding and is in a wheelchair since breaking her hip and having surgery 2 years ago. She urinates a lot at night about every 2 to 3 hours and she calls me to…
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Moving to memory care- how do I tell her?
We have made the decision to move my mom to memory care. We can't decide how to tell her. The facility says to just tell her the day she is going. Her cognition is still ok and she'll see this as us "tricking" her. We are considering having a discussion with her about this but we k ow she'll be resistant.....any advice?
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lack of empathy with my mother
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in September 2025. At the moment it is a medium/mild disorder, she still lives alone with my support. She is not able to take her medicine independently, she does not know how to do the shopping, she has difficulty preparing meals. She is not yet a danger to herself even if more and…
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Rational father trying to relate to emotional mother in stage 5/6
Hello. We moved my mother into memory care a couple weeks ago and she is slowly starting to adjust except when my father visits. My father is, by nature, very logical and rational. My mother is, by nature, very emotional with a tendency to complain/argue with my father (it's been that way for decades). When visiting, my…
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Accountant or bookkeeper recommendations
Hi there, Anyone know a good accountant or bookkeeper that understands trusts and Medicaid? I'm the POA for my mom, who has Alz. As part of an awful experience called Medicaid planning, a lawyer is recommending my mom put some assets into a living trust; plus open a Qualified Income Trust; plus open a Medicaid Compliant…
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Looking for activities for my dad who has advanced dimension
Hi- My dad’s hobbies before Parkinson’s and procrastinating, dementia, or photography, reading, classical music., and the TV show Doc Martin At this point, Doc Martin is too confusing for him and doesn’t want to watch it. I was able to find some simple books for dementia patients which he seems to enjoy. But perhaps for an…
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primary support person, not direct care-giver
Hi, I'm new to the group and looking for support. I don't know this is the right place for me. My mother is in assisted living with mild-to-moderate dementia. She lives 1/2 mile down the road from me. I’m her primary care partner and decision-maker, but I’m not providing hands-on care. I'm mentally and emotionally…