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Tips on how to have pleasant conversations with a person with dementia
Sometimes my only objective is to have a conversation with my loved one that is pleasant for both of us though particularly I want it to be pleasant and satisfying for her. i am moderately good at having conversations with my loved one with dementia mostly bc I have no other objective other than to have a pleasant…
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Refusal to go to any kind of DR./No Dementia diagnosis
My mom has had dementia for probably 10 years..ony now getting to late middle stage. She is completely uncooperative with doing anything involving Dr.s (even the dentist) . She throws an absolute fit, and my Dad refuses to just take her anyway. As a result, we have not been able to get her diagnosed, although it's obvious…
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Caring for an abusive parent
I am my mom's only child, adopted. Although she has several stepchildren. My mom has had many loving friends and family in her life willing to provide support, but as she aged, her abuse spread from the inner family to external family, friends, and neighbors. She is narcissistic, gaslighting, oppositionally defiant, among…
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It Begins
After my fathers inital diagnosis little while ago without a tear; today it hit me hard. A distant friend that my parents visited (with prior warning of the situation), spoke of how different my dad was generally and how in ~5yrs since last seeing both my parents the changes in my dad. Denial - for the longest time we've…
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Mom not wanting to eat
A lot has happened since my last post. In August, I took my mom to the ER because she was a little off. Found out she had a mild infarct and UTI. She was in rehab for 21 days. In September, my mom fell in the bathroom. I heard a thud, but didn’t know it was her until I heard her wail. Long story short, I took her to the…
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depakote as a mood stabilizer instead of atypicals?
Dad's NP at MC calls me to check in from time to time. She has mentioned depakote as a mood stabilizer instead of atypicals due to the black box warnings on atypicals. Dad has been here for almost 4 months. Her concerns for him are related to agitation and irritation - sometimes with another resident and sometimes in…
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Need guidance/ help
My mom's dementia has gotten worse and she's now constantly hearing voices of someone hurting me or me screaming for help. I had taken her to a neurologist a while ago and at that time she refused to take meds (she wasn't experiencing hallucinations at the time). It was hard to get an appointment with the neurologist again…
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Just a story
Just telling the story ... I know it's not uncommon, but also know that none of mom's family or friends want to hear this stuff. So telling people who understand. A staff member in my mom's room commented on a piece of artwork on her wall. My dad gave it to her as a gift decades ago, and she has always especially liked it.…
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Father packing to fly back home
Hello all, It’s been a minute. My father has been here about 3 months and we are now at a point where fiblets don’t work. He is now demanding to go home and even if I say we are figuring it out or I can’t because of work he is going to get his own flight to go home. (I am POA I have all his ids and credit cards) wifi is…
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Is staying outside of a facility better during early to moderate stages?
Like a lot of older people and people with dementia, my loved one dislikes the whole concept of a facility or even senior independent living. She finds even the nicest of places depressing because she thinks the whole concept is sad and seems to have a fear of aging and illness. So I'm wondering if I might be able to come…
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BIBLE VERSE TO LIFT YOU UP 10/11/24
GOOD WORKS/MUCH FRUIT John 15:5 NIV JESUS’ WORDS “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit...” Ephesians 2:8-10 NIV “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. For…
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looking for some hearts and souls that understand
Hello Dear Community, Dad and I went to a neurologist appointment today to get him established with someone here after his move closer to me. You all have supported me through so much already. I thank you. It was our first time out together since his move here in late June. It was good to be out with him. I was so nervous…
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New to Alzconnected
Hello. My name is Christine, my mother has Alzheimer’s. Soft diagnosis was in August 2023 and the final diagnosis was January 2024. It has been a wild ride to say the least. She has been on Memantine for about 6 months now and recently received her 2nd dose of Leqembi via infusion. During and immediately after the infusion…
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Need immediate advice
My parent has gotten it into their head that they want to take a trip back to their former house states away. My parent is currently living with me. they got this into their head because they found out that the dmv changed their drivers license requirements so they may be able to get their expired livense renewed. And…
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The other woman
My mother in law lives with my husband and I. In the evenings she believes that my husband, her son, Is her deceased husband. That prompts her to ask him to come to bed at night. When he tells her I'm not going to bed yet "MOM", she gets upset sometimes telling him she Is not his mom, other times getting very upset telling…
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Little kids visiting advanced stages?
My mom is in the advanced stages of EO alz. We recently moved her into memory care. I decided to travel to visit a week later to offer support to my dad who was struggling with the decision and to see my mom. I brought my two young children (6 and 2 yo)with me to visit mom. My mom often does not seem to know what is going…
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When to seek hospice assessment?
Hi, My mother is my father main caregiver but I see her increasingly doing more than her body can handle. She is not getting enough sleep because he keeps her up at night. She has to hold him up, and now she's starting to feed him. My father is a different person he was in the Spring. Now he sleeps constantly and barely…
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Struggling with mom in NH
Mom has been in NH for over a year and has quickly become aggressive, more disrespectful then normal, talking continuously without taking a breath, hitting her call light 12 times in 4 hours for nothing important, obsessing over Money and wants to purchase hundreds of dollars of stuff she doesn’t need. Calls me names and…
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reframe my thinking?
Hello community, I think I need a reframe for my thinking. Taking some time away from visiting my dad due to his anxiety and agitation. He has been in MC here closer to me for about a month. I've stayed away for a week and half previously and am currently in the midst of another week away. I keep thinking that he is…
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forgetting things
hi, yesterday mum found a coffee satchet in her handbag. she had no idea how it got there. i tried to reassure her as she was thinking oh did i steel it but my mother would never do such a thing. i told her what would of happen but she panicked for an hour about it and had a panicked attack and i had to give her a valium…
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Delusions- how to respond
Please help me with how to respond to delusions and paranoia. My parent is very paranoid about someone stealing his items. He often hides tools and important things, forgets where he puts it, but then accuses someone of stealing. How do I respond to this without upsetting him?
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moving into memory care, not sure if we should wait longer
My mom has been on the waiting list at a memory care facility for a long time. My sister and I are both burnt out. There is a room available now that shares a bathroom with another person. My mom hates sharing bathrooms with strangers and gets grossed out easily by other people in her personal space. I am not sure if we…
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Activities for Mom, middle stage alzheimers
My mom gets bored and starts roaming around the house. We are trying to find some activities, but it's difficult. She doesn't comprehend games real well, like solitaire or anything like that on phones/tablets/computers, she doesn't like puzzles, and she is showing signs that she can't comprehend things like words and…
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have covid can’t visit MC
We had to move my dad who is 82 to memory care about three weeks ago because we couldn’t lift him to change him anymore. He’s in hospice with heart failure and the dementia. In the process my mom (80) and I (51) caught covid and it’s been a week but we are both still symptomatic and testing positive. We are brokenhearted…
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Can you be kicked out of MC for not complying with continence care?
I was not imagining the aids at my mom’s place were asking about taking her home. We had a follow up care meeting and the directors basically told me if my mom can’t become more compliant re: incontinence (mostly urinary) they may not be able to keep her. First off the big problem is their rugs. She needs her carpets…
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Caregiving for Parent when you have a full time job and a teenager
Good morning. I am new to this forum and located in Wichita, KS. My mother has some memory issues resulting from an unknown stroke about a year go but discovered after she had a fender bender last March. I am 55, work a full time job, have a 16yo at home and two dog :smile: . She has always lived independently (my dad…
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Mom is in Assisted Living now
After rehab we were able to get her directly into an Assisted Living in a new community. I was all set to go with the same community where she lived for simplicity, but they were unwilling to work with us to get her placed directly and wanted her to go back to her apartment for a week or two, even though they had a room in…
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Dealing with lawyers
so I’m hiring a lawyer as I was told by my mothers social worker, Went on NELF, I got told a meeting to discuss elder care would be $400 and a durable power of attorney will be an additional $700. Is this normal? If it is are you aware of any grants that could cover this or cheaper options to get a DPA?
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Perceived reality
My mom is having a day where her perceived reality is running wild. She believes that she will be going to go get food with another person. However, we do not have a car and she has had no contact with other people since she lost her phone at least a week ago. I haven't been able to replace it yet. She has asked me to go…
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Driving Stress and Key Keeping
Hello. Would love opinions today! My mom has stage 5 dementia. She is currently obsessed with driving again. She failed the cognitive exam and as a result, has had her license suspended. Her car lives in her garage. I have BOTH sets of her keys. One I swiped when she first exhibited scary driving symptoms (she doesn't know…