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Grief while still caring for LO
I just need to vent to someone that understands. Mom is in MC so I know I am not dealing with as much as many here, but it is so hard. She is sad, angry, scared and confused and any one of those is hard to watch your Mom go through. I miss my Mom and all the good times. I had my doctor say “it must be easier now that she…
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Mom is transitioning
I never saw someone I loved so dearly suffer like my Mom. It's all in God's hands now. I am so tired.
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Taking care of my Mom
My Mom has Dementia, still living home with my dad, and I go to their home every day to help them. She accuses my dad that he is having sex with a 13 year old girl along with me and my 2 other sisters. Some days she is good then other days really off the wall. I get very upset because I protect my dad. I know I shouldn’t…
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home care vs assisted living
My mom has Alzheimers and my dad has dementia. I'm trying to decide whether to place them in an assisted living facility or hire 24/7 home health care in their home. They live in NY and I'm in MA. Does anyone have experience with either? I'm trying to think of a list of pros and cons. Thanks.
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Caregiver who is a nurse
Hi, This is my first post. My mom has dementia that has progressed to moderate. She is very stubborn and becomes belligerent if she does not get her way. She does not realize that she has memory issues and doesn’t understand why we are not allowing her to be alone. She is refusing to shower because she thinks she showers…
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Grief about the loss of relationship with mom
Hi everyone, this is my first post. I was wondering if anyone had been through something like this. My mother has Alzheimer's. I had a friendship with her over the years and now that's obviously changed and shrunk due to the disease. I understand that the disease has affected her brain and stolen her ability to manage…
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PWD calling police repeatedly
What can we do? PWD (Dad) keeps calling the police reporting his car stolen and they’ve had to come out repeatedly. His car is not stolen, though it is gone because he stopped being able to manage maintenance and repairs even with assistance, and should not be driving anyhow. What do we do? This is a huge waste of the PD’s…
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Saw Mom after three weeks
Hello, I basically write updates on here so I remember when I saw my Mom at the nursing home. I need to also vent somewhere that other people understand. I hope I can help others here as well. Mom has lost a lot of weight, I am afraid to feed her because she can choke from food. And I believe I am not qualified to feed…
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Break in the Fog
I wanted to share my recent experience. I visited my mother yesterday, and I wasn't expecting much because she has been showing late stage six behaviors for several weeks now. The last lucid moments I had with Mom were during Mother's Day and early June. The decline was at first rapid when she qualified for hospice care in…
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Guilt, Grief, and Memory Care
My mother and I always had a difficult relationship, but I know she loved me very much. She is in the moderate stages of Alzheimer’s and this disease has actually changed her into the sweetest person, partially due to her taking sertraline. So, in a turn of events I actually really like being around her now. She has enough…
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ALZ Caregiver Zoom
For anyone who may be interested, I created a Zoom meeting for next Tuesday, September 23 at 6 PM EST. I hope some of you see this and will join :) Elyse Caldwell is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting. Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89572217820?pwd=eBt4xrqL3OB87URTZedzCr1ZZ0okPZ.1 Meeting ID: 895 7221…
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Medicare Question
Hi everyone, My mom was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's (mild) state. She currently has Medicare under an Advantage Plan - United Healthcare. Because of her new diagnosis, we are considering moving her back to Original Medicare in order to have more options for care. Does anyone have advice about this (i.e. having Original…
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How to help mom when dad has the disease
My mom and dad are living in a memory care facility. My dad has Alzheimers and my mom does not. My dad is in the later stages of the disease and has recently begun calling my mom his ex-wife AND has been seen holding hands with other female residents. My mom has been sobbing uncontrollably. She's feeling guilty when she…
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Feeling Guilty
Both my father and mother entered a nursing home a few months ago. I stop by each week to visit them. Its so clear they are unhappy there. They look at it as a huge loss to their freedom. The staff tell them what do - "sit here" "sit there". They are adults but treated like children sometimes. I feel terribly guilty and…
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Interview a doctor?
Hello, Nice to meet you all- I'm looking to pick a new primary or geriatric spanish speaking doc for my Mom (75) with early alzheimers when open enrollment happens for Medicare. But, I wish there was a way to interview them first before making them her doctor. Is that a thing? Is it weird to do that? Do people do that?…
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We need guidance 🙏
We moved my MIL (83alz) out of her state and into our home in a different state 9 months ago. She is mid-late stage and still physically capable. She obsesses over 2 specific things and we haven’t been able to redirect or stop it. 1- she thinks she needs to go to the bathroom constantly. She goes back and forth from one…
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Here's a new one I wasn't ready for
Dad was diagnosed with VD and onsight AZ almost 4 years ago. He has been in AL for the past 6 months awaiting "home renovations" and plans to move into the home when finished (depending on the day and time of course as it changes daily for him). He's doing really well and 99% of the time he absolutely loves it and the…
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Similar ?
I’m in my 40s, unemployed due to disability, and living with my 93-year-old adopted mother, who is in the late stages of vascular dementia. I don’t have children, friends, or a partner, so she is truly all I have. It’s painful and frightening to watch her decline, and I often feel crushed by the thought of what life will…
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Father getting worse
I have an 82 year old father who is diagnosed. He has recently undergone chemo and radiation. He has gotten increasingly delusional and agitated. We have been associating it with the drugs. But he is so angry and lost. He cannot have a conversation now and is extremely abusive about things that do not exist. Is this normal…
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Rapid decline since moving to assisted living/memory care
Hi! My dad was being cared for by his partner of 5 years. She recently needed surgery and we moved him to assisted living / memory care facility. He has been there for a week and we have noticed a rapid decline in his mobility (was walking with a walker) but now spending more time in a wheelchair. He has no prior history…
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CCRC forcing LO move from independent to MC
My LO with VD lives in a CCRC in an independent home with 24 hour care. On waitlist for MC. My sister and I took her for “lunch” when opening came up. We decided not to place her in MC and continue with 24 hr care. CCRC has called us in for meeting saying they are concerned with LO’s safety. CCRC says she has to move to MC…
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New Job Offer & Whether To Move
I’m from NY and moved me and mom to Florida four years ago. I applied to a nationwide job and the NY office interviewed me During interview they said: we have offices in Manhattan, Suffolk, and Newburgh. Which do you prefer. They also asked if I preferred to be transferred to recruiting for the Miami office. I said…
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Need Reassurance
Mom had to go to the hospital on Monday because of pain in her hip and couldn’t get out of bed. She did not have a break but has a high grade tear in her hamstring and complete tear in one of her butt muscles. She has mid level Alzheimer’s and that is making things 100 times worse. Every time the nurses move her leg she…
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Hospice and the Just Right Mattress
Hello. Caring for a loved one brings so many learning curves. For those who are dealing with so many questions and so few answers, don't give up! My mother is in late stages and has a bed from hospice that allows air circulation. Unfortunately, half of the inflatable "tube," every other one, has deflated. My siblings and I…
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Sleeping or lack there of
My mother has been only averaging 2-4 hours a night. We’ve tried Melatonin and Zzzquil for extended periods and both don’t seem to work. Does anyone have any better solutions that have been helpful? Fyi she hates tea (we tried the sleepy time and Chamomile). I was debating on consulting her doctor on trying low dose…
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Ready to throw the towel in
Brief update: Dad was diagnosed 3+ years ago with VD and onset Alz. He has now been in ASL for 6 months and discussions are being made for the move toward MC. I'm his POA. I've posted about his 2 sisters resisting any directives made by me and they have been sent a cease and desist letter 3 months ago but, still manage to…
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Elderly Aunt....Recent Diagnosis and Home Care Challenges
Hi All, I could use some perspective/guidance/support on our current situation. My sister and I have noticed for some time that our aunt has memory issues, plus a host of other challenges. She has no kids of her own. She was not caring for herself (skipping or cancelling dr apts, not taking or refilling meds, not…
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New diagnosis but extreme condition
Hello everyone, I truly hope and pray for each one of you who is either dealing with this disease personally or has a loved one affected by such a painful condition. I sincerely wish for your strength and that your difficult journey becomes easier. I can relate to your struggles; my mother was diagnosed with dementia last…
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Not Sure What To Do -- Feeling Overwhelmed and Trapped
Hi Again, I care for my mom who has Alzheimer's dementia. She is somewhat independent (own apartment) but can't do grocery shopping, pay bills, remember to take the dog out, go to doctor appointments, etc. I do all of these things for her. I feel absolutely trapped. I used to not only travel often, but also live abroad and…
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Adult Daycare?
Do any adult children caring for parents use adult daycare? In the past year my dad has lost 25 pounds and his memory is rapidly declining. Excessive outbursts anger. Also experiencing fatigue and anxiety. My mom manages this with my help. It has been effecting my mom to be the constant security blanket for him. Do others…