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Falling Apart Caring for my Mom
Hello. I am not doing well. My dad had Alzheimers in the last 7 years of his life, and I cared for him. I thought that was all over when he died in 2017. Then in 2020, it started all over again with my mom. It's been 5 years now, and I'm going absolutely bonkers. My life is falling apart caring for her. Almost everything…
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Never been so exhausted
I am new to this forum. My mom has alz and vascular. I have been taking care of her since she was diagnosed 4 years ago. My husband retired early so he could help me(last September) Over the past 1 1/2 years she has gotten progressively worse. I had no idea how much harder that it was going to be as time went on. I sleep…
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BIBLE VERSES TO INSPIRE CAREGIVERS 4/4/25
THANKFUL, INSPIRED & WILLING Ephesians 2:10 Good News Translation “For it is by God's grace that you have been saved through faith. It is not the result of your own efforts but God's gift, so that no one can boast about it. God has made us what we are, and in our union with Christ Jesus he has created us for a life of good…
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Getting better, wants to come home??!
We moved my mom (75) into memory care assisted living in September. At that time she was wandering often, trying to hurt herself, not sleeping, and needed to be watched 24/7 to stay safe. The first 3 months in MC she was confused and generally accepted where she was living. She was depressed and not eating so was started…
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Experience with Rallies or burst of energy prior to death
Hello! My mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's 15 years ago and to say the least its been a long road! She lost the ability to walk and eat on her own about 2 years ago and has been very steadily declining since then. Last week she got very bad and was bed ridden and unconscious for a full day with fluid in…
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Difficult sibling
I probably already have a post with this title. My brother visits mom once a week and is kind and caring towards her. But! He dumps all his personal problems on her ( she worries constantly). He believes she should be informed and consulted on almost everything. He is obsessed with her “rights” even at the cost of her…
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Mother Passed Away/Car Keys
My mother passed away 3-4-25. Father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s January 2023. He has been is early stage to date. Still takes care of himself, but can’t manage bills laundry or cook. I have 2 sisters. One lives right beside him & helps a lot, but works FT. One lives within 5 blocks, helps after work. I live 2 hrs away,…
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Grief and Guilt
My Dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2019. He moved into an ALF when it was no longer safe to drive. He was living there for 3 month then Covid hit, they were basically locked down and he was kept in his apt with no outside stimulation. That's when he began to really decline. At that time he was living an hour away and I…
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When do you know it's time for a facility?
Hello. My name is Maria and I'm new to this forum. My mother will be 83 in July and is still living independently in a 2 story townhome with laundry in the basement. She has a companion that comes from 11:30 - 4:30 on weekdays. My sister and I spend time with her every Wednesday evening and on weekends when we can. We are…
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Worried about Mom
My parents have different stages of dementia. My dad, 89, is well situated in a care home under hospice care. He is very easy to take care of since he is totally bed bound at stage 7. My Mom, 84, on the other hand, is going to be a challenge. She has realization that her memory is getting worse and she knows she has…
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Dad won't get out of bed
He has stage 6 Alzheimers, and I received a call that my dad will not get out of bed and refuses to eat anything. Here are a few bullet points describing our situation: He is in an excellent facility. He has 2-3 family visits a week from myself and my brother. Last week I visited him 4 days in a row, including taking him…
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Best music players for people with mid stage dementia
I would like to get my mom some type of device where she could listen to music in her room in the long term care facility. She is in stage 4 of dementia and can operate her phone and other simple devices. I’m not sure what type of device would work best. A radio or some type of streaming device which someone could set up…
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One parent with ALZ.. one with encepalothopy and rejecting any help.. not sure what to do
So my dad (61) was in the hospital/ rehab nearly 3 months for a bowel perforation and other issues. He is a lifelong alcoholic. During that time, my mother (66) was diagnosed with alzheimers. He discharged himself from the hospital AMA twice now. He does not care (or have the ability to care) about my mom's diagnosis. He…
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Help help help
I have a pwd that fell in February which caused an L1 compression fracture. She had surgery then went to a skilled nursing facility. When insurance stopped paying and the facility said it was not safe for her to be home alone, I moved her to assisted living. All she wants to do is to go home. The professionals at the…
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Mom has auditory hallucinations need help
My 96 year old mom has alzheimers and recently has been having auditory hallucinations - she hears the same part of a song over and over ( i can't id the song). this started about 6 weeks ago for 1 day, then again a month later the 14 days later and then 4 days later. it really upsets her. she thinks its coming from a…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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Transitioning While Alert and Active
My LO 82 has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s, heart failure, kidney disease, COPD AND asthma. The doctor said she is transitioning. She sleeps a lot, but talks normally, walks to the bathroom, and family room on her own, helps to bathe herself. Other than the sleeping a lot and memory loss, she seems normal. But says…
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There goes my hero ..... 😢
Hello and thank you for reading this, I'm sorry for such a long-winded post I had a longer message written up. However, I didn't know if anyone would read it. I don't have anyone in my life who has had any first-hand experience with Alzheimer's to ask any of these questions and I'm having a difficult time dealing with…
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Do we tell mom we're going to be selling her house?
My sister and I moved mom into an assisted living/memory care facility last August and we are now needing to sell her house to help pay for her care. She is probably in middle stages, but it's hard to pin down as I don't think it's straight up Alzheimer's, but more likely mini strokes. She has lots of confusion,…
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Advice on Phone / Internet Access
Hi all. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s over a year ago and has been getting worse. She’s unfortunately extremely vulnerable to scammers online and has fallen victim to gift card fraud scams to the tune of 13,000 dollars since last July. We’ve had to take away her devices to prevent further contact with them. She…
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Advice welcome
It has been 2 years that I moved to a new apartment to take in my 83 yer old Mom. Of course it is challenging, as I also work from home. This is my first time posting, so forgive me, but any tips on the following are appreciated: Getting her to eat better and finish food (I do make sure she has at least 1 Ensure Max…
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Stuck & Need Advice
First Post - seeking advice after a LONG road to present day. Mom first presented concerns 10 years ago but masked symptoms until my sister & I stepped in 4.5 years ago. After going back and forth with her neurologist, we decided to find a new one in a different hospital system local to us. To our relief, in the very first…
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nonstop questions
Hi, I'm new here. Mom is in midstage of Alz, living with my DH and me for 6 weeks now. Doing okay with everything so far but the questions (every minute or so for a good part of the day) are wearing on us. They don't vary much and writing down the answers for her doesn't seem to help for long. She usually finds something…
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Dad's anger and my mental well-being
Hello, I am beginning to wonder if my visits with dad do more harm than good. He really wants to go home. The demands increase and intensify. I end up just having to figure out ways to excuse myself so he doesn't escalate more. Agitation and pacing have already been concerns for the nurse practitioner at his memory care…
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I’m so lost - mother is 90, English is a second language
I am so lost. My father recently passed away - somewhat unexpectedly - and, as an only child, am left to care for my 90 year old mother. I had not realized just how bad her short-term memory loss had gotten (dad never said) and I suspect she has onset dementia, She refuses to talk to a doctor or anyone about her mental…
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Screening companion caregivers for excursions out of facility
I want to get my mom a long term companion caregiver who will take her out of memory care a few times a week and help keep her activity, nature walks, pickle ball, maybe even bike riding and out to lunch. At this point my mom doesn’t need a lot of care or assistance but more companionship but I would need someone…
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Coping with changing behaviors
My mom has alzheimers and has suddenly become agitated when viewing images of herself or others in a mirror. She is afraid that she's being watched by strangers (images in mirror) or people on tv. She also hides money, thinking others are coming to steal it. She also has no idea whether it's daytime or night. I'm at a loss…
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Sandwich generation - having a baby while caregiving for dementia
Hi everyone, I have posted a few times here before and this forum has been so helpful. My dad (77, mid stage 5) moved to memory care in September. He has adjusted really well. He doesn't remember home or ask to leave, he is always engaged in activities when I visit, the staff love him, and I think he has made some friends…
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Mom needs eye surgery
Hi, I’m new here. My sister and I are caring for my mom, who lives in assisted living. Her cognitive decline seems to have sped up in the past 2 months. Now, she has a hole in her macula and needs surgery to repair it. I think she’ll be ok with the surgery itself but not with the requirement to stay face down for five days…
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Feels Like a Lose-Lose
We moved my 82-year-old stage 3-4 Alzheimer’s mom from an independent living place near me to an urban assisted living place while she was on a trip last week. She is very angry and refuses to let us stay when we visit. She says she is being surveilled and kept prisoner (she can walk out anytime she wants, she just has to…