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Struggling with parent who is avoiding confirming diagnosis.
Hello! I’m looking for advice: Some background: my maternal grandmother and her eight siblings all suffered with Alzheimer’s. My grandmother was diagnosed at the age of 74 and lived until she was 83. My 73 yo mom, who cared for my grandmother, is slipping fast. All the same behaviors, personality changes, etc. however, she…
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Fell again
My dad, 89 with VD, fell again. In January 2023, he broke his back, then a few months later he fell and fractured his pelvis. Then this year he fell 3 more times but with minor injuries. However, today hell fell and fractured his humerus in 2 places, fractured his right hip and femur. I think my dad can only take so much.…
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Guilt about memory care/Assisted living
I signed the paperwork for my Dad to live in a memory care facility. He is 83 and has late onset Alzheimer’s with mood disturbance (mostly anxiety, he is not aggressive). I keep talking with him about selling the house but he cannot remember day to day we talked about it. He moves Monday. My cousin is giving me a break…
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Blame Game
Is everything your fault? Always.
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Loves the family members that don’t help
My mom will brag to anyone who will listen about my sister and brother but when it comes to me, the one who is actually taking care of everything, the one who she is living with- nothing Don’t give me wrong I don’t want. Do I need to be In anybody’s eyes, but it sure would be nice to get a pat on the back every once in a…
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CPAP challenges
My mother and I are caring for my father with Alzheimer’s. We have tried everything but we cannot get my father to use his CPAP. Curious if others struggle with this and have any advice or resources to share? It’s mostly behavioral and irritability — he takes it off after being frustrated and everyone has gone to sleep.
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Need advice....
I have DPOA but not guardianship of my Mom who has moderate dementia (Alzheimer's and vascular) Do I need to get guardianship to place her if she is refusing? She is currently living with me and it is getting to be too much for myself and my daughter, I am a single mom and work full time with CG's at my house with her…
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Parent away from home and away from spouse
My dad is now living with my sister in Arizona because she is able to care for him. My mother is back in their permanent home in St. Louis, Missouri. It’s difficult for them to be apart, but my sisters want to limit the communication between them because my dad gets irritated and it makes him want to go home or talk about…
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A toaster oven in AL
Mom asked her doctor that comes to see her at AL if she could have a toaster oven. The doctor talked with AL they decided it was fine and told her she could have one. I as DPOA was never included in the conversation. I am so mad. I know she can’t actually have a toaster oven unless I buy one for her or bring her to the…
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Update on Mom in AL
It has now been about 2 months since she has been in AL, and 10 weeks since she broke her wrist. The bones are officially healing. She asks almost every visit when she will move back to IL. She is playing bridge once a week (kudos to the rec director who started it as an official activity - after a few weeks it whittled…
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New here
My mom was diagnosed just this year. I think she's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. But seems to be progressing unfortunately! My brother and I are the only children from my parents. My dad is the primary caretaker for my mom considering they live together. My brother lives next door and I live an hour away. My brother…
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Arguments that seem impossible to stop
Hi, alright I am new on this and taking care of my 72 year old mother. Are there any simple ways to get a person with dementia to stop arguing? Once my mother gets mad it seems impossible to get her to even attempt to think of something different. She likes to just make it seem like I have ruined her entire life and no…
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DPOA
I went with my mother to her follow up after starting Aricept. The neurologist confirmed an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, which I’d put together, but it wasn’t in writing on the test results I’d seen. Its in early stages and my mom is very able at this point, although I’ve noticed she does better focusing on one thing at a time…
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Methazolamide
Has anyone tried Methazolamide yet and has any experience to share?
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Medicare Discharge,observation status & representative status: advise & help video
[also posting in Caregivers & Spouse/parents sections] After a call with Medicare that, shall we say, didn't go as expected I researched to plan my next steps and found this video. There is a no-cost CMS Medicare service called : qio = quality improvement organization that is supplied [as of the video date 2020] by two…
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Psych Hospitals, Confidentiality, and Need for Legal Guardianship?
Writing this in part to help others prepare and understand the situations you can end up in due to lack of preparation. Also, to ask for advice. My parent was admitted to a (very well known) psych hosp. They were transferred from another area hospital. I have been their sole caretaker for the last eight months. I took my…
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Narcissists , before & after dementia ...
I recall a number of posters mentioning that their parent , now with dementia , was cold and a narcissist even before the disease manifested . By accident I came across this interview on narcissists . Who knew how many flavors there are! It's a real ketchup factory. I found it interesting that one of the ways to deal with…
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Dad continues to be ready to move out of MC plus staffing changes
Hi Community, Dad continues to talk about moving out. The difference I see now is that he is not only packing up and talking about it like before. Now he puts his jacket on and starts carrying his things to the MC door. The time it was most escalated a staff member was able to redirect him into his room to show her the…
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Who else just misses their (still-living) parent?
I miss my dad. I miss being able to call him just to talk about whatever is on the top of my mind at that moment, or ask his opinion about something — anything. But especially being able to ask for his advice about life or what to do while trying to navigate this world. I miss his wisdom from a long life of experience,…
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I'm almost as overwhelmed as my mom
New to this site but my mother was diagnosed and placed for her safety into assisted living nearly a year ago. Lots Of logistics issues but I wont go into all of that in my first note. A month ago, she had a fall, ended up in hospital with covid, pneumonia, pulmonary embolism and, since going into hospital, delirium… Cant…
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Memory Care
My Dad was just placed in a memory care facility. I live in a different state and would like input on how much time I should spend with him when I am in town. I don’t want to disrupt his schedule. A little info about his current condition. He knows who we are, he can shower and dress himself. He needed help with…
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Medicines No Longer Working
Hi all! I haven’t posted in a while. My mom, now 68, has been in AL since January. Since then, she has been on MANY medications whether sedative, antidepressant, mood stabilizers etc. It’s gotten to the point the doctor at the home has told us she is no longer responsive to treatment. She no longer holds a conversation.…
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Ectropion Relief
I searched forum for ectropion and read about someone weighing surgery for eptropion. MIL lower lids turn out exposing the red inner lid. We did surgery 1÷ year ago but they have sagged again. Same doctor now thinks face lift is needed! Not doing that. Does anyone have any suggestions to make her more comfortable, and to…
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Working through the issues (and emotions) - giving and requesting ideas for help
Hi. I just joined this group and have reviewed a number of strings. I find it crazy that with as rampant as this disease is, each case is still somewhat unique and there is not one methodology to deal with all cases. I look forward to learning from you all! I want to ask for direction as well as share some things that our…
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This is really hard!
Today is not a good day. I feel like I'm doing all that I have been instructed to do for my mom but it's really hard to not take it personally. I seem to be the target of everything that is wrong with her including the effects of my deceased father's indiscretions. She's 74, highly educated, financially independent but…
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My situation is getting confusing
Hi, My mom is 80 yrs old now and her dementia would be stage 5 progressing towards stage 6. I had brought her back to her house from my brother's place in June and my journey since then has been horrible. I have kept a caregiver too to take care of her needs. She was initially non cooperative and then later on in an…
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Geriatric case managers
Has anyone used a geriatric case manager before? Any tips on finding a good one? I assume the cost depends on the geographic area somewhat but what is a typical cost range? Does it still make sense to hire a geriatric case manager if your loved one needs to go to long term care?
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I am a child of a parent with Dementia with Aphasia
Hello My father has Dementia with Aphasia. My stepmother and sister have been his caregivers over the years but now mom has Metastatic Breast Cancer so will need to focus on that. I am flying to Texas to take over his care. I am new to this. So far he is starting to have "accidents" ie, cannot make it to the toilet due to…
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End state dementia meds
My father has severe agitation that seemed to come and go. Now the hospice and adult care home are wanting to increase Halperidol, sleeping med, and a pain med to reduce the agitation and sleeping problems. It hasn't seemed to have helped much but they have pumped so many drugs in him. He has had agitation and sleeping…
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Hospice - Meds / Ensure
Hi All - I was visiting my parents while the hospice nurse came in for a check on both of my parents. It was the usual blood pressure, listening to the heart and lungs, etc. Since I was there, she brought up the fact that both of my parents are on Memantine and would I want them to discontinue it? I know hospice doesn't…