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Medicaid Pending AL monthly payments
**update: I ended up paying. Director refused to put in writing that they will honor the overpay in credits. Said it would make him look "disingenuous". That he has to honor the credits or it would be Medicaid fraud. It was taking too much of a toll on my mental health to have this battle as my attorney's quit responding…
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Mother dissatisfied with live-in caregiver
My mom is fortunate enough to have a live-in caregiver, this is her second. (the first was for three weeks, didn't have a car, and was temporary until the caregiver with the car was available). The first person she had a really tough time with, and my mom got really mean and nasty to this person, they would get in shouting…
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More clothing struggles
I had mentioned earlier my mom doesn't wear any new clothes, bought since ALZ diagnosis 3 years ago. She constantly asks for new clothes, I take her shopping, she tries and chooses, we buy, she never wears. This group mentioned buying same/similar and also taking online bought clothes with us for her to try in dressing…
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Awakes during the night to urinate
I care for my 94 year old mother who lives with me. She is in moderate stage I believe and has days and nights mixed up. She needs assistance with everything but feeding and is in a wheelchair since breaking her hip and having surgery 2 years ago. She urinates a lot at night about every 2 to 3 hours and she calls me to…
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Moving to memory care- how do I tell her?
We have made the decision to move my mom to memory care. We can't decide how to tell her. The facility says to just tell her the day she is going. Her cognition is still ok and she'll see this as us "tricking" her. We are considering having a discussion with her about this but we k ow she'll be resistant.....any advice?
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lack of empathy with my mother
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in September 2025. At the moment it is a medium/mild disorder, she still lives alone with my support. She is not able to take her medicine independently, she does not know how to do the shopping, she has difficulty preparing meals. She is not yet a danger to herself even if more and…
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credit card
We are looking for ideas for a credit card for my dad. He needs a low limit. He has given his card number out to phone scams Currently we took his card away, but he needs something.
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Rational father trying to relate to emotional mother in stage 5/6
Hello. We moved my mother into memory care a couple weeks ago and she is slowly starting to adjust except when my father visits. My father is, by nature, very logical and rational. My mother is, by nature, very emotional with a tendency to complain/argue with my father (it's been that way for decades). When visiting, my…
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Accountant or bookkeeper recommendations
Hi there, Anyone know a good accountant or bookkeeper that understands trusts and Medicaid? I'm the POA for my mom, who has Alz. As part of an awful experience called Medicaid planning, a lawyer is recommending my mom put some assets into a living trust; plus open a Qualified Income Trust; plus open a Medicaid Compliant…
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Looking for activities for my dad who has advanced dimension
Hi- My dad’s hobbies before Parkinson’s and procrastinating, dementia, or photography, reading, classical music., and the TV show Doc Martin At this point, Doc Martin is too confusing for him and doesn’t want to watch it. I was able to find some simple books for dementia patients which he seems to enjoy. But perhaps for an…
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primary support person, not direct care-giver
Hi, I'm new to the group and looking for support. I don't know this is the right place for me. My mother is in assisted living with mild-to-moderate dementia. She lives 1/2 mile down the road from me. I’m her primary care partner and decision-maker, but I’m not providing hands-on care. I'm mentally and emotionally…
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Constant Need for new creative strategies!
It is amazing, how I constantly need to be "on my toes" with my mom (mild-mod-Alz in AL). I recently (due to this groups' suggestion) got Google Voice so my mom wouldn't constantly be texting and calling my real number. I can now check Google Voice (& MSG) when I want to, 2x/day. It has greatly lowered my stress response!…
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Possible Job Relocation and Moving Parent
Hello, I am new to this forum and after reading likely 100 posts or more, I am in tears knowing that I am not alone. The words and encouragement from this group is incredible. This is such a lonely process for the caregiver. I am envious of those who have siblings/family who step in and help. I am an only child and my…
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Multiple elopement attempts from MC
My mom (87YO) is in MC and has attempted to leave several times. Most recently, on Friday she managed to get upstairs before the nurses caught her. It took them an hour to get her back downstairs to the special care unit. They had to force her onto a wheelchair - she was swinging and pushing. I saw her Sat morning and she…
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Uncertainty of Mixed Dementia
I live in Atlanta Ga caring for my mother with severe late stage ALZ. But I am concerned she may have Parkinson's Dementia and/or Lewy Body Dementia. Her anti depressant, anti psychiatric and mood stabilizer is still not lessening the physical aggression, paranoia, delusions and hallucinations. I'm being pushy with her…
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Unsure how to approach FIL about stair use
I have posted numerous times about our caregiving for my FIL but we are becoming increasingly concerned about him using the stairs into the walkout basement. For as long as I have known my FIL, their walkout basement was his man cave, which included his bathroom/shower , when he was DX's 2 years ago, eventually my MIL…
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Care conference
I had a care conference meeting at mom’s facilities. They insist mom attend so there is really nothing that can be accomplished. I don’t ask questions, because most would upset mom. Mom has threatened to air all her grievances against me, but thankfully hasn’t yet. So these meetings really stress me out. We managed to get…
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update after VA appointment for FIL
Fortunately for him and us, he is 100% disabled though the VA and they provide most everything he needs. We met with the VA social worker yesterday and he will be entering the VA's geriatric care program, where they will do scans, labs, evaluations and we will finally get a diagnosis as to what kind of dementia he actually…
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Guilt Trips
I've always been susceptible to my mom's guilt trips, which is something I've been exploring with my therapist. But it's especially hard for me to brush them off now, because I feel responsible for moving her into AL near me, and boy does she like to complain about it! The bed is uncomfortable, the vent in the bathroom is…
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Long Slow Good-bye
My mother is living with dementia, and I wanted to honor her while she is still here. What started as a simple poem, about the last half of her life, somehow turned into a song. I poured my words onto paper, then worked with AI to add the music and vocals. The process was long, emotional, and honestly one of the most…
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Caring for FIL after death of MIL
My FIL was DX'd 2 years ago, at the time my MIL was his caregiver and after the DX, he stopped driving, she took away his cellphone and computer and basically directed everything he did. As with a lot of octogenarians they are very private about their health/finances, so other than being told he had dementia nothing else…
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Progress…
My Mom has been living with us since late February after my Dad was hospitalized and passed away. My mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and MCI in April 2024. She has progressed well beyond MCI and, per her PCP, is no longer safe to live independently, drive, etc. At her PCP visit, her Dr strongly encouraged her to…
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Aggression
My dad was diagnosed with Alz 5 years ago and is 83. My mom is the main caregiver as I live 3 hours away. I am planning to move to help her at home. My dad is prone to verbal outbursts with my mom only, is VERY focused on having money and struggles with judgement. What advice do you have to help deal with aggressive…
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Another step in progression
Mom's MC had an event for residents and families tonight. They had dinner out on the courtyard, grilled hibachi style meat and veggies, nice music in the background. It was well planned and most residents seemed to enjoy it. It was suddenly evident to me that my mom is now one of the more advanced dementia residents there.…
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2 years in since crisis mode
Dear Community, Thinking of you all this morning and the support you've so graciously given here. Today I am reflecting and processing. Some days are for surviving. Some days are for crying. Some days are blurs of exhaustion and overwhelm and confusion and grasping for hope and help. Today is not those days for me. Today I…
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Mom describing eerie sense of loneliness
One reason my mom decided on her own that she was ready to move to AL was that when she was living at home alone, she was feeling extreme loneliness in the evenings. She described it as something very eerie—just a weird sense of being all by herself in silence. She would sometimes describe feeling like her deceased mother…
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Night time bed wetting
My mom wears a diaper all the time but recently we are having issues with her wetting the bed at night.
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Mom and assisted living
We recently moved my Mom to an assisted living facility where she has her own apartment and was able to bring her dog with her. She was diagnose with alzheimers. She is calling us constantly, as many as 20 times in a day. She crys and says she wants to go home. It's not possible for her to live in her home any longer…
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Burner Phone, Google Voice . . . Self-Care
I'm new to this group, just over a week in and it has been a life saver to me. I feel I have found "my people'. Thank you ! My mom in early-mid stage Alz is in AL without leveled support. I live half mile down the road; she texts and calls me constantly, I'm her "person"; often she is demanding or in "need" even though it…
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Anger is grief speaking up
As someone walking through dementia and Alzheimer's with my own family, I keep thinking about a line I recently heard: "Anger is grief speaking up." If we want something to change in the next 20 years, we have to speak up…now. Alzheimer's is often approached as, "See a neurologist and wait." But Alzheimer's is not just a…