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Constant Need for new creative strategies!
It is amazing, how I constantly need to be "on my toes" with my mom (mild-mod-Alz in AL). I recently (due to this groups' suggestion) got Google Voice so my mom wouldn't constantly be texting and calling my real number. I can now check Google Voice (& MSG) when I want to, 2x/day. It has greatly lowered my stress response!…
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Possible Job Relocation and Moving Parent
Hello, I am new to this forum and after reading likely 100 posts or more, I am in tears knowing that I am not alone. The words and encouragement from this group is incredible. This is such a lonely process for the caregiver. I am envious of those who have siblings/family who step in and help. I am an only child and my…
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Multiple elopement attempts from MC
My mom (87YO) is in MC and has attempted to leave several times. Most recently, on Friday she managed to get upstairs before the nurses caught her. It took them an hour to get her back downstairs to the special care unit. They had to force her onto a wheelchair - she was swinging and pushing. I saw her Sat morning and she…
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Uncertainty of Mixed Dementia
I live in Atlanta Ga caring for my mother with severe late stage ALZ. But I am concerned she may have Parkinson's Dementia and/or Lewy Body Dementia. Her anti depressant, anti psychiatric and mood stabilizer is still not lessening the physical aggression, paranoia, delusions and hallucinations. I'm being pushy with her…
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Unsure how to approach FIL about stair use
I have posted numerous times about our caregiving for my FIL but we are becoming increasingly concerned about him using the stairs into the walkout basement. For as long as I have known my FIL, their walkout basement was his man cave, which included his bathroom/shower , when he was DX's 2 years ago, eventually my MIL…
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Care conference
I had a care conference meeting at mom’s facilities. They insist mom attend so there is really nothing that can be accomplished. I don’t ask questions, because most would upset mom. Mom has threatened to air all her grievances against me, but thankfully hasn’t yet. So these meetings really stress me out. We managed to get…
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update after VA appointment for FIL
Fortunately for him and us, he is 100% disabled though the VA and they provide most everything he needs. We met with the VA social worker yesterday and he will be entering the VA's geriatric care program, where they will do scans, labs, evaluations and we will finally get a diagnosis as to what kind of dementia he actually…
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Guilt Trips
I've always been susceptible to my mom's guilt trips, which is something I've been exploring with my therapist. But it's especially hard for me to brush them off now, because I feel responsible for moving her into AL near me, and boy does she like to complain about it! The bed is uncomfortable, the vent in the bathroom is…
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Long Slow Good-bye
My mother is living with dementia, and I wanted to honor her while she is still here. What started as a simple poem, about the last half of her life, somehow turned into a song. I poured my words onto paper, then worked with AI to add the music and vocals. The process was long, emotional, and honestly one of the most…
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Caring for FIL after death of MIL
My FIL was DX'd 2 years ago, at the time my MIL was his caregiver and after the DX, he stopped driving, she took away his cellphone and computer and basically directed everything he did. As with a lot of octogenarians they are very private about their health/finances, so other than being told he had dementia nothing else…
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Progress…
My Mom has been living with us since late February after my Dad was hospitalized and passed away. My mom had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and MCI in April 2024. She has progressed well beyond MCI and, per her PCP, is no longer safe to live independently, drive, etc. At her PCP visit, her Dr strongly encouraged her to…
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Aggression
My dad was diagnosed with Alz 5 years ago and is 83. My mom is the main caregiver as I live 3 hours away. I am planning to move to help her at home. My dad is prone to verbal outbursts with my mom only, is VERY focused on having money and struggles with judgement. What advice do you have to help deal with aggressive…
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Another step in progression
Mom's MC had an event for residents and families tonight. They had dinner out on the courtyard, grilled hibachi style meat and veggies, nice music in the background. It was well planned and most residents seemed to enjoy it. It was suddenly evident to me that my mom is now one of the more advanced dementia residents there.…
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2 years in since crisis mode
Dear Community, Thinking of you all this morning and the support you've so graciously given here. Today I am reflecting and processing. Some days are for surviving. Some days are for crying. Some days are blurs of exhaustion and overwhelm and confusion and grasping for hope and help. Today is not those days for me. Today I…
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Mom describing eerie sense of loneliness
One reason my mom decided on her own that she was ready to move to AL was that when she was living at home alone, she was feeling extreme loneliness in the evenings. She described it as something very eerie—just a weird sense of being all by herself in silence. She would sometimes describe feeling like her deceased mother…
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Night time bed wetting
My mom wears a diaper all the time but recently we are having issues with her wetting the bed at night.
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Mom and assisted living
We recently moved my Mom to an assisted living facility where she has her own apartment and was able to bring her dog with her. She was diagnose with alzheimers. She is calling us constantly, as many as 20 times in a day. She crys and says she wants to go home. It's not possible for her to live in her home any longer…
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Burner Phone, Google Voice . . . Self-Care
I'm new to this group, just over a week in and it has been a life saver to me. I feel I have found "my people'. Thank you ! My mom in early-mid stage Alz is in AL without leveled support. I live half mile down the road; she texts and calls me constantly, I'm her "person"; often she is demanding or in "need" even though it…
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Anger is grief speaking up
As someone walking through dementia and Alzheimer's with my own family, I keep thinking about a line I recently heard: "Anger is grief speaking up." If we want something to change in the next 20 years, we have to speak up…now. Alzheimer's is often approached as, "See a neurologist and wait." But Alzheimer's is not just a…
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Adjusting to MC
My mom has been in a MC facility going on 7 weeks now. She has been diagnosed with vascular dementia and possibly mixed. We see a Neurologist in June to find out what other type. On top of that she has a history of bipolar/ depression with some schizophrenia. She does have delusions and hallucinations which she is on…
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Delusions stop in MC?
We moved my mother to an MC facility approximately four weeks ago. From the chart she is in stage five of Alzheimer’s. One of the main reasons we finally made this decision was because she was having delusions and fixations. Every night for weeks leading up to the change she believed she was having a baby and if we didn’t…
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Hello
I’m new. My mom has dementia. She’s not reliable enough to be on her own, but not quite ready for assisted living. My dad, who has been her grounding force, is about ready to go into long term care for physical debility after fracturing a hip. They, of course, live out of town. They are both resistant to moving to where I…
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Burn out
I am only in my second year of dementia with my 96 year old mother. The 24/7 has gotten to me. Usually I am very patient with her but am losing it. Medicare pays spit, making home health aids very expensive. I joined a support group but I'm not finding them that helpful as I don't think any of the ladies live with the…
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Private Pay One on One in addition at Memory Care Facility
Hello, My 86 year old mom had a stroke and massive heart attack almost 7 years ago. She survived, but now has vascular dementia and Alzheimer's (Alzheimer's started prior to stroke). She was at a memory care facility that was horrible. We moved her to this new place in February and love it. The staff is very caring and…
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Pursue diagnosis?
My 75 yo father is showing signs of dementia. His mother and paternal grandfather both had Alzheimer’s and that’s what to presents like to me—repeating himself, struggling with directions and finding things, mood swings, poor judgement, indecision, a lost look in his eyes—but he hasn’t seen a neurologist. His greatest fear…
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Dealing with my mom and driving
Hi. I am new here. My mom who is considered to have Stage 4 Mild Alzheimer's diagnosed about a year ago. She does not believe she has this disease. They told her to not drive and she could take the test through DMV to see if she could continue. We didn't do it at the time. Now a year later she is pushing to drive but I…
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As POA how do we protect loved one from large purchases they don't understand
My dad has Alzheimer's & can no longer drive. He wound up purchasing a car that he cannot drive when we were navigating his illness last year. (Note: Due to his 3-5 min memory the attorney general is currently investigating that purchase). He forgets that he cannot drive and has made his way to another dealership and…
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Change in behavior
My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s two years ago. Recently, we have observed some extreme changes in behavior with delusions, anger and agitation. Since her Dr consulted AI for medication suggestions, I thought I would check here. Her doctor prescribed Rexaulti but we are having some issues getting Medicare to cover it.…
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Any guys have have the HHA lady hit on them - How did you handle?
Hello, I am a single man in his late 40s who is caring for his mom with dementia. My mom is now bed-bound and I need help to assist with her. I've had different home health agencies over the years and I live in a very pricey area. We're not moving, not feasible nor can we afford it. So, I'm stuck with what I can get as far…
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Family member's death
My mother has dementia. Her brother died recently (he had Alzheimer's and died of natural causes). My mom is confused and upset by his death and has been believing her brother committed suicide (which is absolutely not true). We are comforting her but does anyone have advice for disabusing her of the suicide notion.