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Lost My Father Tragically - Learning How to Move Forward
Hi everyone, My father died as a result of dementia. During the night, he became confused and unsafe, something dementia had been causing more and more often. He left the house, and by the time my mother found him in the morning, it was too late. Writing that still feels unreal. What I am struggling with most now is guilt.…
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Supplements?
Hi All, This is my 2nd question here I’m posting. Knowing now that my dad has dementia, I’m now interested in taking any conceivable preventative actions to benefit myself. To my knowledge there are (at least) 2 well-known OTC Memory Supplements on the market. One of them is Prevagen and I’m not sure offhand the name of…
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Capgras Syndrome
I believe my mother has Alzheimers. She is 78 years old. My father is her primary caregiver. The challenge is she often seems to have Capgras Syndrome. She will go through periods where she does not recognise him and thinks he is an imposter. My brother lives with them and tells her this is Dad. My Dad tells her it's him,…
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found out
I just found out today that my mom has Alzheimers. she's in her 60s and yes im in my 30s but its still a shock. I had to tell my 17yr old son today. The doctors caught it early on, however its still hitting me hard. how does someone cope with this news?
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Refusing to shower
I have tried everything under the sun to try and help my mother (70) to shower. I have read articles, books, these discussions, you name it. I've tried things like a shower chair, washing her hair in the sink, washing her face in the sink, baby wipes. NOTHING helps when it comes to showering. Every time we approach the…
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Dad won't let Mom sleep (or clean or be on the phone)
Hello all, Apologies if this is somewhere on the forum already, I wasn't sure how to search for it. My dad was diagnosed with dementia about 2 years ago. He wants my mom's complete attention and so she has trouble going to care for her sister or being on the phone or internet or cooking or cleaning or sleeping! We help as…
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In pain, exhausted, and resentful
There is no one thing that I need to get off my chest. I'm just super annoyed and emotional. No matter how many of mom's doctors I give MY number to, they invariably or intentionally call hers. She cannot relay a straight message, and I am finding communicating with her to be a grand waste of time. This is a woman who was…
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Finally at Peace
First of all, I want to thank everyone who makes this site possible and to all of you who have been my lifeline for the last 3+ years as I have navigated this ugly disease with my dad. I could have never gotten through it without all of you. Dad passed last evening around 5:30. It was so peaceful. No one knew it was coming…
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I am just learning my mom may have Alzheimers
I am a daughter of a 78yr old woman. Around 7yrs ago my mom took a fall and knocked out unconscious. As time went on she had little confusion. In the last several months my siblings and I noticed big differences with her confusion, forgetting things either we tell her or she tells us. She is also a caregiver for my 84yr…
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Where do I start?
My 72yo Mom was just diagnosed with dementia. She lives alone. I have no clue what I’m doing. I have an appointment with senior services to do an assessment (not even sure what they do?) and an appointment with neurologist (not until end of next month). Is there a checklist somewhere? ugh, I don’t know where to start. I…
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Mom (MS-LS, more LS) just broke her hip in Memory Care
Hello, Long time lurker, first time poster. Mom (88) was ambulatory with walker in MC with what is probably early Late Stage dementia (word salad, often incontinent, but still sometimes in on the conversation.) She fell and broke her hip early AM yesterday. We were told she is not a candidate for surgical repair - between…
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ER visit, then more decline??
Yesterday I had to call 911 as my mom passed out and gasped for breath as she was trying to enter the bathroom. She said she couldn’t straighten her back, so I got a chair behind her so she could sit and then she loss consciousness. In the ER she was treated for hypotension and dehydration. A cat scan (? stroke) was…
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In home care for parent- does not want help.. Los Banos, california
hi everyone, my mom is sliding quickly with memory and mobility issues. Still wants to cook and take care of inside of house. Memory problems are getting worse by week.. does not see this.. refuses care outside house. Need someone to come in periodically… where do I start? Thank you everyone
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Learning to grieve
My mom was officially diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers in January, although she has been showing symptoms for quite some time now. My mom and I have always had a close, yet complicated relationship as she was a single parent and she had a hard time "letting go" of her baby. Back in August, she had ended up with strep…
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Moved exes in together
My 87y FIL, Alan, has mild dementia and has just gotten a pacemaker . 86y MIL, Sue, has Alzheimers...diagnosed 3 yrs ago. They are divorced (50+ yrs) but friends. Sue lived independently until 6 months ago, then moved in with her brother, 6 hours away. She's miserable and misses her family...and we miss her. Alan lived…
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rough day w dad in MC "Get me out of here!"
Hi community, Dad was pretty agitated today during our visit. Redirecting was not working, so I had to cut my visit short. I'm wondering what I am missing or if you all have more ideas for me to consider. Here's some context plus what I'm seeing lately. He tells me that he just has to get out of there. Over and over. I…
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Caring for parents - Long distance
New here, live out of state of my parents. Dad is over 90, now in a long term care facility for almost a year. Recently formally diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Mentally he continues to deteriorate but for the moment he seems medically stable otherwise. My concern now is my mom, approx 90. She is having fairly severe short…
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Trouble lifting
I am brand new to this online discussion board. It’s been a hard longer years caring for my parents. My 92 yr old dad insists on keeping mom at home and we have paid caretakers for my mom who is 88 with late stage dementia. Just recently in the last two weeks she is no longer able to walk with her walker stand alone and…
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Mom is still Transitioning
This means dieing and it's been two days and she hasn't passed away yet. What should I be doing, while waiting. I am sick, tired, exhausted, and emotionally drained. But can't sleep. I was thinking about calling my family but they are feeling the same. I went to church and prayed. I have my cross next to me just waiting…
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Terminal Lucidity
My dad fell two months ago. Seemed to have accelerated Alzheimer’s. He pretty much stopped eating since and recently was only drinking very little. This past week he was admitted to hospital with severe dehydration. The dehydration caused his heart rate to accelerate to 130-140 and blood pressure to be lower at 95/60. I…
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Is sending a letter to mom with the truth a bad idea?
my second post here. I was light on details the first time. Mom has been in MC for about a year after being diagnosed with dementia. I was concerned about cognitive decline but ignoring it. She has had a lifelong distrust of the medical system so had not had regular medical checkups to monitor anything. There is also some…
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Hello! ☺️
I'm new here, I am an adult taking care of my elderly mom who was recently diagnosed with Dementia. I often find it difficult to understand her strange choices and behavior, and become highly stressed over them. I am wondering whether anyone else is familiar with this, and have any information on how best to help her.
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My mom just said she is the most comfortable she has been in her life
I know this won’t last. She came home for a visit. We’re hanging out on the couch watching Yule log after a meal I cooked (poorly). She is on hospice, needs an aide 6 hours a day, and hardly says full words. But for just one moment…I asked if she was comfortable and she looked at me and said “believe it or not, I’m…
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Dealership sold car to father just before Alzheimer diagnosis
He lived a couple hours away when this occurred, we were still working towards an understanding on what was causing the repetition in conversation. At the same time he had been making his rounds around a few dealerships, picked out a blazer at one to purchase and showed up at a Hyundai dealer with that blazer flyer only…
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I'm feeling a little disturbed
My parent called me upset that she had received notice that a family friend had just passed away unexpectedly. She had this whole elaborate story abut how she received notice via a phone call and was quite upset about this as this is someone she interacts with in the present. Her recollection was so vivid and her emotions…
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My Mom Passed
Hello All Been a tough few days… my Mom passed away on Wednesday. Hospice gave me a call and said it would be a good idea to gather the family. My husband and I picked up by Aunt, and met my son there at my mom's bedside. We put a phone by her ear and my daughter was able to call and talk to my mom. We stayed for the…
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both parents with dementia, cost of care very high
Both parents with ALZ, different presentations (ie agitated v. calm) and we have been getting by with paid caregiver 4 days a week and the rest done by myself, sibling occasionally helps out. Care needs are escalating and a tour of local senior livings has been cost-sobering. One place that had AL with solid cognitive…
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Support Group Cookie Exchange? No!
Just need to vent about endlessly unreasonable expectations…with the “you need to take care of yourself” heading that list today. You need to (fill in the blank) sleep, meditate, journal, blog, do yoga, do cardio, take a break, take a walk, join a support group…while being sure to show up at work fully present, care for…
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Advocating for my dad
My father's memory has been affected by untreated sleep apnea and cholesterol that has lead to moderate chronic ischemic changes along with a diagnoses of late stage Alzheimers. When he was first admitted to memory care, he was very upset that my stepmom wasn't visiting and she mislead him to say she was sick and he was…
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The list
Mom moved to a nursing home about 4 months ago. She is doing very well. Her memory is not bad and she can carry on what feels like a very normal conversation. Her move to the nursing home was a disaster (my brother thought she should decide what to bring). She has mentioned several times that she has things she wants from…