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Trigger warnings
Hi all, yesterday my LO with stage 4-5 received a late payment bill and spent 3 hours going through his papers and swearing he paid the bill even when there had been no check written or recorded. I have taken over ALL the bills except that one😝it was 3 hours of cussing, going back and forth to the mailbox. Finally at 10 PM…
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Female spouse w/young kids looking for mom in similar situation?
I'd love to find a caregiver like myself to exchange texts with, like our own mini support group. This is likely too specific, but ideally it would be a woman whose partner is in the early stages of Alzheimer's (like, very very early stages where most people can't tell) and whose kids are still living at home (our kids are…
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The Velveteen Rabbit
I posted this a long while back, but most of the people here now are new, so I thought it would be a good time to repost. When we were married, almost 46 years ago, the priest added this reading to our wedding ceremony from a children’s book, “The Velveteen Rabbit” by Margery Williams. My sister read it at the ceremony. I…
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Transitioning While Alert and Active
My LO 82 has Vascular Dementia and Alzheimer’s, heart failure, kidney disease, COPD AND asthma. The doctor said she is transitioning. She sleeps a lot, but talks normally, walks to the bathroom, and family room on her own, helps to bathe herself. Other than the sleeping a lot and memory loss, she seems normal. But says…
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Just need to vent : Last Days of Gene Hackman: ABC News Special
It is obvious that his spouse went to great length to protect his medical privacy and it was something she was quite successful at. I have great admiration for what she was able to accomplish. Protecting the dignity of my DW is priority #3 after her health and safety. It is not an easy thing to do. Now her reward for…
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Cost of Memory Care
I read yesterday that Memory Care is $115,000 a year. How can anyone afford that??!! and what are the alternatives?
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When to move to memory care
My wife periodically thinks I am her father from time to time. We can go days between the episodes, which can last until bedtime. Then she will wake up fine. My concern is that she will still recognize me from time to time after I move her. I will be absolutely heartbroken that I abandoned her. She does not wander, so I am…
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Vacation
My husband has moderate vd dementia. Prior to this dx, we bought a timeshare that I am still paying on. The idea of not being able to travel and use that is awful to me. I still work full time and have a companion with him most of the day. Our last vacation was when I saw a huge difference in him and he "lost" the memory…
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Retired military or spouse with Tricare
This is new coverage for members with Tricare insurance. For up to the next five years, TRICARE will cover Food and Drug Administration (FDA)-approved monoclonal antibodies (MABs) lecanemab (brand name Leqembi) and donanemab (brand name Kisunla), for the treatment of Alzheimer’s disease in patients with mild cognitive…
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There goes my hero ..... 😢
Hello and thank you for reading this, I'm sorry for such a long-winded post I had a longer message written up. However, I didn't know if anyone would read it. I don't have anyone in my life who has had any first-hand experience with Alzheimer's to ask any of these questions and I'm having a difficult time dealing with…
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Unusual Walk
We go for a mile walk every day weather permitting. Of late my LV who is 74 yrs old and physically very fit , has been walking “strange” of late. I am afraid she will trip and fall. Anybody experienced this ?
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Do we tell mom we're going to be selling her house?
My sister and I moved mom into an assisted living/memory care facility last August and we are now needing to sell her house to help pay for her care. She is probably in middle stages, but it's hard to pin down as I don't think it's straight up Alzheimer's, but more likely mini strokes. She has lots of confusion,…
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Advice on Phone / Internet Access
Hi all. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s over a year ago and has been getting worse. She’s unfortunately extremely vulnerable to scammers online and has fallen victim to gift card fraud scams to the tune of 13,000 dollars since last July. We’ve had to take away her devices to prevent further contact with them. She…
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From Maybe to Reality 3
Family had a big birthday party for DH (ALZ). I was afraid that it would be too much for him but he had the time of his life and at age 90, he danced every dance. The only think that I noticed was when 2 of the grandsons came over to the house before the party and spent time alone with him. He was telling some of his life…
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Advice welcome
It has been 2 years that I moved to a new apartment to take in my 83 yer old Mom. Of course it is challenging, as I also work from home. This is my first time posting, so forgive me, but any tips on the following are appreciated: Getting her to eat better and finish food (I do make sure she has at least 1 Ensure Max…
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Stuck & Need Advice
First Post - seeking advice after a LONG road to present day. Mom first presented concerns 10 years ago but masked symptoms until my sister & I stepped in 4.5 years ago. After going back and forth with her neurologist, we decided to find a new one in a different hospital system local to us. To our relief, in the very first…
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nonstop questions
Hi, I'm new here. Mom is in midstage of Alz, living with my DH and me for 6 weeks now. Doing okay with everything so far but the questions (every minute or so for a good part of the day) are wearing on us. They don't vary much and writing down the answers for her doesn't seem to help for long. She usually finds something…
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Dad's anger and my mental well-being
Hello, I am beginning to wonder if my visits with dad do more harm than good. He really wants to go home. The demands increase and intensify. I end up just having to figure out ways to excuse myself so he doesn't escalate more. Agitation and pacing have already been concerns for the nurse practitioner at his memory care…
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I’m so lost - mother is 90, English is a second language
I am so lost. My father recently passed away - somewhat unexpectedly - and, as an only child, am left to care for my 90 year old mother. I had not realized just how bad her short-term memory loss had gotten (dad never said) and I suspect she has onset dementia, She refuses to talk to a doctor or anyone about her mental…
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More than a man
My wife asked me today if I was OK, and I replied I was OK for an old man. She said, "You're more than a man." She's right. I'm a caregiver, a husband, a lover, a friend, a father, a brother, a teacher, a writer, a gardener, and more. You are more than a man/woman too.
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Screening companion caregivers for excursions out of facility
I want to get my mom a long term companion caregiver who will take her out of memory care a few times a week and help keep her activity, nature walks, pickle ball, maybe even bike riding and out to lunch. At this point my mom doesn’t need a lot of care or assistance but more companionship but I would need someone…
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Coping with changing behaviors
My mom has alzheimers and has suddenly become agitated when viewing images of herself or others in a mirror. She is afraid that she's being watched by strangers (images in mirror) or people on tv. She also hides money, thinking others are coming to steal it. She also has no idea whether it's daytime or night. I'm at a loss…
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Anger and delusions all day
My DH is in a rehabilitation facility after a fall in which he fractured his neck. He has to wear a neck brace for about 3 months. He is doing very well in therapy. He has a history of anger, paranoia, agitation, and and infidelity delusions. He has had these episodes in the facility but, unlike today has been over the top…
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Help. No idea how to handle this
My dad, 84, hasn’t been living in reality the past few days. He’s had ALZ for 18 months and the past few days, he’s been packing up his clothes and referring to “they” want him to come home. He just unpacked his bag and is now repacking it. What should I do? I’ve been going along with it. I’ve put him in the car before and…
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Talking gibberish in his sleep
hi Wondering if any caregivers in the group have experienced constant nonsense talk during the night. My DH with Alzheimer's, will sound like he's carrying on a conversation, but it doesn't make sense. It's a rambling on that keeps me awake, and startles him awake when he gets loud or angry, in his sleep. If I try to wake…
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help with anger and corrections
I'm 52 female, my DW is 66, recently diagnosed. We are in early stages of this journey - not a lot of memory issues, but trouble figuring out how to open doors, remembering to eat, figuring out how things work like showers, clothes, etc. I have a lot to learn, but would love some pointers on what to do about the anger -…
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Sandwich generation - having a baby while caregiving for dementia
Hi everyone, I have posted a few times here before and this forum has been so helpful. My dad (77, mid stage 5) moved to memory care in September. He has adjusted really well. He doesn't remember home or ask to leave, he is always engaged in activities when I visit, the staff love him, and I think he has made some friends…
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Need some advice
My grandfather (77) has Alzimers and early stage dementia. He has been having issues with his memory and I am trying my best to help him. But I'm having trouble getting through to him. For context, I along with my parents, are currently living with my grandfather. We try to keep the house clean, provide meals and assist…
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Mom needs eye surgery
Hi, I’m new here. My sister and I are caring for my mom, who lives in assisted living. Her cognitive decline seems to have sped up in the past 2 months. Now, she has a hole in her macula and needs surgery to repair it. I think she’ll be ok with the surgery itself but not with the requirement to stay face down for five days…
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Informing others of diagnosis
I was wondering if I should mention to acquaintances that my DH is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes we meet up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time and my DH has gotten to the point where he has very little to say or when he does say something it shows his memory is not normal. I don’t know whether to mention…