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When do you decide to place your spouse in a Facility
My husband is only 61. The confusion started 3 years ago. In the last 7 weeks he has decided fast - no longer uses the restroom, does not eat, have to force him. Can stay up for 2 to 3 days with our much sleep (cat naps - 15 to 30 minutes), constantly pacing, has left the house in the middle of the night with no shoes,…
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Very Regrettable Appt.
Just to get it off my chest post….I know I know the calvary are not coming but darn darn darn… We went to the neurologist today after the 911 incident. I guess I was hoping for some back up but now I know there isn’t any. The Drs nurse wanted to know what I was doing to agitate him. I calmly explained, nothing…. And then…
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Anyone have any luck with washable adult diapers?
Hello, Few hours till 2025 here in the east coast, but Alzheimer's doesn't care. It goes on. We're spending a fortune on adult diapers as my LO pees constantly throughout the day given the special nutrition therapy she's on. It keeps her hydrated and well-nourished, and calm, but… it makes her pee constantly. Changing 5 or…
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how do you return to the MCF after an outing?
DW has been in MC for four weeks. I've contemplated taking her out of the facility for some activities, like going to a restaurant or a park or the zoo. But I can't figure out how I would get her to return willingly to the facility. Every time I visit, she talks about wanting to go home. Seeking advice and insights…
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Real ID or passport problems
Hi everyone and thank you in advance for any assistance. I live in Colorado but my mother is in a memory care facility in SC. As her disease progresses, it’s just too hard to have her so far away. I’m desperately trying to get her to CO to a new facility but I don’t have her original birth certificate or SS card and she…
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New here and looking for advice
Hi, I am the 58 year old son of a 89 y/o father who is entering mid-stage Alzheimer’s. I live in California, and my parents live in Southwest Florida. I had recently taken FMLA to fly out for 3 weeks to help my 85 year old Mom find an assisted living facility for him(she is unable to care for him any longer). We did find…
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Just dropping in
I just wanted to wish all the ladies a Happy Mother's Day. It's really hard to appreciate an occasion like this when you have your hands full, but try to take time to pat yourself on the back, and find the time to do something for yourself that will lessen the load, if even for only a little while. It's been a while since…
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Advice on phone calls
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10 Absolutes in Dementia Care
Shared by another member here - Thanks Chug! Here is one you can download or print:
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Is it necessary for Nurologist it ask same questions that upset patient everytime?
some of you know me as I always have lots of questions but for those of you who don’t know my situation it’s that my wife , I feel , is handling this nitemare much better then most that being said I know can change in a heartbeat . It’s 3 yrs and other then not driving or cooking anymore not doing too bad, her short memory…
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Awareness of condition
My DW lapsed into the lost memory phase, and had a particularly hard time. She still knew me but said she felt lost. This made me wonder if she had any awareness that something is wrong.
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Therapist or counsellor
Hi there, my wife’s mother was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She is understandably finding it emotionally tough. Could anyone recommend a therapist who specialises in this (for my wife)? Many thanks in advance
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help for a friend
I care three times a week for elderly woman who is mother to close friend. although early stages we shop shop shop i pick her up and drive her wherever she wants to go. we eat then shop she is allowed $60 a day and inevitably goes over forcing me to dig in my pockets which i do willing she is kind then mean and discusses…
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How often do you visit?
I made the mistake of visiting my mom (every other day) the first time she was placed in a nursing home. It just kept her from acclimating and each time I visited her she thought I was taking her home. It was doing her more harm than good. So, this time around (I took her out of the nursing home but had to put her back in…
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On the Upside
I just wanted to share a few positive wins in this land of the seemingly ever-down life. We are now 7 weeks post-MC move-in. Last weekend, in honor of Mother's Day, the care facility hosted a breakfast with mimosas and small fresh flowers for each Mom. It was a treat to share that with my DH since life with FTD is…
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Mom isn't talking to me
Hi, I'm new to this. Mom was diagnosed earlier this year with stage 3 Alzheimer's. I was caregiving for her. I had to stop because it was affecting my mental health. Mom is mad and hasn't talked to me for several months. I use to talk to her every morning. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with this? Did…
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Introduction and Question
Hello! Grateful for this group. Here I go. Introduction, Question, and probably too much background for one post. My father passed away in December 2024 while my mom was in ICU. Since her discharge, I've transitioned her to Assisted Living in the town where I grew up/they continued to reside—location per her wishes. ( I've…
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Book that Gets It
Like we have time to reas? If you do, however, this novel by a writer whose husband died of Lewy Body Disease is good fictional treatment t of the rabbit hole we caregivers fall into. https://www.forewordreviews.com/reviews/counting-backwards/
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Downsizing from Assisted Living to Memory Care
My FIL is currently in a one-bedroom apartment in assisted living. Unfortunately, his dementia has progressed to the point where it is time for him to transition to memory care in the same facility. (In addition to general decline, he has become combative and aggressive.) His memory care room will be much smaller than his…
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Reappearance of distanced siblings
My Father was diagnosed with VD with onset AL 4 years ago. I took over as POA due to a broken unrepairable bridge between my Sister the former POA, and Dad. I've learned so much about their former relationship in the last 4 years and frankly, I wish I woud have found out sooner in order to rescue Dad. She kept him in the…
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I moved DW to memory care (part 2)
So, that's the background. All of our family and friends were supportive of placing DW in MC, even urging me to do so, reminding me that I had to take care of myself. The conundrum for me was, how was I going to get her in the door? How was I going to get her things to the MC facility? One suggestion was to say her doctor…
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Started with hospice care .
Lots of help and support . Also I kept a home care person who is working out well . Hoping to be able to have some time to be myself this week . We had a nice mother's day with the grandkids visiting . Of course it was hard for them but important they got to see their grandmother now and not later as this progresses. My…
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New to caregiving and I have no idea what I'm doing
Hello… My amazing aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimers/Dementia about 18 months ago. I'm not entirely sure how long she was really struggling before I stepped in, but I fear it was several years due to the things I have been discovering in her files as well as learning about the disease. Hindsight is 20/20 and what I thought…
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To moms...
To those who are moms - have a beautiful mother's day. To those who are taking care of moms - may it be a peaceful day.
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Next?
Mom has a brain hemorrhage and is in critical condition at a local hospital. She is going to die before my dad. He has step 7 vascular dementia and he will accept the fact that Mom died? Geeze, both parents with life threatening conditions. I'm medical POA and need to make the ultimate decision. This is so hard.
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Boyfriend with early stage
Does anyone have a boyfriend with dementia, repeating questions and forgets conversations? I could use some support if anyone out there can relate. He is very easygoing and loving, but wonder what this will do to our relationship in the future.
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Hope and hospice
My husband started on hospice a month ago. I find it has heightened my hope that the end will be here soon. Sadly, a side effect is I am getting exhausted from the waiting. I visit every day and don't feel like I can really separate sufficiently to do something like take a weekend away. I don't feel my presence is that…
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Decompressing after a tough visit
I guess all we can do is take a deep breath and exhale, right? I visited my mom yesterday. She is in Memory Care. I put my game face on. I went through the locked doors she now lives behind. I walk through the community to my mom's apartment, and as I do I smile and wave at other residents I have come to know and say their…
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New, Scared and Confused...
I'm obviously a newbie to this site, as well as the amazing and mysterious world of Alzheimer’s. I began seeing a neurologist last summer because of an inability to think as clearly as I once did. Memory didn't seem like much of a problem since as far as I can remember, I always had a bad memory. Other issues that I…
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Is there any other way to relieve agitation besides medication?
My dear grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's last year, and just in the previous few months, she has gotten worse. She has been yelling, berating, and crying lately, more like a manic patient. Sometimes she yells at my grandpa, mom, and aunts over a small thing. We are all heartbroken. And she refuses to take her…