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The conflicting emotions...
The past two weeks have been a continual decline. My DH is sleeping more each day. A month ago, DH started each day with a quarter mile walk with the walker at sunrise, and we could take car rides and go for wheelchair walks at a local park. Three weeks ago, the anxiety of the car overwhelmed him, so we just did his short…
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What to tell my wife about hiring help
It seems that the time has come for me to hire a home health care worker/companion for my wife. I would estimate she has reached the middle part of stage 5 at this point. I was thinking of having someone come over twice a week to start, for 4 hour visits. I know she will resist—how can I get her to agree—what will I tell…
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Nail cutting
Does anyone have suggestions on how to bet my DW to cut her toe nails? She is not a fan of getting a pedicure.
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Having one disaster after another with my LW
I’m m new at all this since February ‘25. I read the wrong week on my calendar this morning and went took her to her hip doctor and missed a very important EMG test at Mayo Clinic. I’m having trouble keeping up my own health. The diet is suffering too. My LW broke her hip a month ago after developing Foot Drop. So, now I’m…
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Caregiving for the Caregiver
My MIL has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. It has been slow in its progression (15 years since initial diagnosis). My DH’s step-father is the primary caregiver and has done a fantastic job. However, my MIL is now firmly in Stage 4. We want to support DH’s step-father as best we can…but we don’t want to be pushy or make…
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How to support mom?
We moved my dad to memory care this week after a stroke one month ago. My sister and I are physically, mentally, and emotionally drained, but also want to be able support my mom (82 yrs) with this life altering event. I call and she’s sobbing but won’t talk to me and just tells me she has to go. As exhausted as we are, I…
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Losing his grip
Is it typical for PWD to begin dropping things? My DH can’t seem to hold onto anything anymore. Drinks are especially hard and when he drops them, his clothes need to be changed, floor cleaned. Does anyone have a suggestion for a good adult style sippy cup? I need to do something different and need/welcome your help. Thank…
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Fall Detection Devices?(1)
Hi all. Now I'm looking into fall detection devices. Some of them seem to have all these services I don't need. IF I am running to the store for 45 minutes (which I can still do), I want him to be wearing a device to monitor falls. I do not need a GPS for location (he's not that mobile, doesn't wander, and I'm usually…
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Husband Proofing my home.
I childproofed my home when my kids were little and never in a million years did I think that I would have to do this to protect my lo. I just padlocked the ladder so he can’t climb up on the roof. He’s 73 and too old to be on the roof and his dementia has been costing me thousands of dollars in repairs after he “fixes”…
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Lost Caring For Mom
My mom was diagnosed with dementia about 3 years ago. She lives with us and I would say she is in the late stages. She has been on an antibiotic for one week and staring another round this week for a UTI. But, recently she has started mumbling, shuffling her feet, very unbalanced and sometimes emotional and sometimes…
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Unsure
I think things are progressing or is it me thinking they are. I didn’t know what to do this morning after a volatile night so I had his son come over and take him. I won’t make it until his Dr appointment on Monday. He is starting down the physical abuse path. It’s only been 3 pokes and grabbing my arm but I’m afraid it…
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Curious about spouses Insight
Oddly enough my husband displays significant short term memory loss but continues to be well aware that his mind is failing and this distresses him (of course). He was dx 5 yrs ago. Wondering if it’s better (happier for him & me) when he no longer realizes (lacks insight into) his declining mental status? He gets angry and…
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Auto safety
My wife is in the moderate stages. We were returning from a short trip on the interstate highway at about 70 mph when she opened the passenger door. She was seatbelted and the air pressure from the passing wind kept the door from flying open. But she was fiddling with the door as I was finding a safe place to pull over. My…
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Dementia Report
A bit lengthy, but there is some good information in this report (via Michael Ellenbogen). https://milkeninstitute.org/sites/default/files/2025-08/report-mind-the-gap-investing-in-dementia.pdf
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I can’t help this pain I feel
I miss my husband and he’s laying right next to me. About 6 months ago, my husband started forgetting we were married about once a week. Then about 3 months ago he started telling me he doesn’t want to be involved with anyone about once every 1-2 weeks. It doesn’t usually last long but every time I wonder if it will last…
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What stage?
At what stage does someone (husband in this case) lose interest in absolutely everything? He used to like to watch TV, especially westerns, but he has no interest in that anymore. He was never a reader, no hobbies at all. He had seemed better for a while, no sundowning or wanting to "go home." But that has all started…
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Stairs
We live in a ranch home on a hill. My husband has FTD and is getting unsteady on his feet. We have to climb a set of stairs no matter which way we enter the home. The most gradual incline is from the driveway to the back porch and in through the kitchen. However the patio is made of large stones, two levels, uneven and…
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Volunteer to visit dad in memory care
We recently moved my 89 year-old father from Assisted Living into Memory Care. My mother recently passed and they had been living together. My dad has no short term memory but is social and can carry on a decent conversation, especially around sports, science or politics. We'd like to have someone, preferably a man, to…
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Possessed Look
Hi all, Lately, as my DW drifts deeper into her dementia, I've seen a kind of wild look in her eyes and she definitely does not look like she's seeing me at all in those moments. It's a bit disconcerting when it happens and I can only imagine what's bringing her to that space. The poor thing. Anyone else have this with…
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Caring for an 8 year old
My wife is 84 and is in ALZ Stage 5 with a few Stage 6 symptoms. This past year has been a steep decline. It's amazing what she can no longer do. It's not just memory (which is a serious issue), but she can no longer understand simple instructions and can no longer do most anything without close supervision. She doesn't…
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Sleeping ALL Day-88-year old Mom
I’m new to this group. This summer I’ve seen my Mom deteriorate. She wandered outside, which was a first, and the last few weeks there have been occasions where she has not recognized me. She also frequently asks to go “home,” even though she lives at home. Now I’m seeing her sleep A LOT and she appears more frail. She’s…
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How do I place my wife in a memory care facility?
Terri is at stage five now and declining. I'm ready for us to go into a facility where I can leave when I need to and know that she's going to taken care of. But I need the facility to stop her from leaving when I'm not there and I'm not sure about the law around that. Do I need to acquire guardianship? Or something else?…
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New Diagnosis
Hi Everyone, Yesterday we received a moderate ALZ diagnosis for my father. The diagnosis was a long time coming. He had received an ALZ diagnosis before the pandemic, but then he had some significant movement problems that led to a change to a movement disorder. However, then the movement disorder did not progress as…
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Moving Mom to Memory Care - Questions
Moving day is set for Wednesday. Mom's memory care room is pretty similar to her bedroom in her AL apartment, and the furniture could be arranged in a similar configuration. The "story" we are using to get her into MC is that she is going to stay in "PT rehab" for a few weeks. She adores her AL apartment with "all her…
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Overwhelmed caring for wife with FTD
My 75 year old wife was recently diagnosed with FTD. I am 77 myself and in compromised physical health due to my Vietnam war injuries. We sold our home and moved into a retirement facility which made life less complicated. But the issues I face caring for my wife are almost more than I can manage. I do not dare leave her…
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Recommendations for GPS device?
Hello, I am new here. My father is in the late stages of dementia but still living at home with my mother until we can find an adequate assisted living facility for him. He has started to leave the house and wander so I am growing very concerned for his safety. We have alarms on the doors and cameras on the house but my…
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Confusion and Meds
My mom is in early stages of dementia. She wakes up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and then wants to take her morning pills. Bathroom is a trigger to wake up and start her day no matter the time. Any suggestions?
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DPOA & Health Care Proxy
I have durable power of attorney for my mother, (who did this all 15 years ago). I also am her health care proxy. How does this all work? If the time comes that she should be in a memory care unit, but she does not want to. Does a doctor have to "activate" either of those in order to have her go into a memory care unit? I…
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Passed away
Just letting you all know that my mother, with Alzheimer's, passed away 5/7/25 And dad with vascular dementia, just passed away 8/4/25 Now dealing with family members fighting over the will. Lots of financial and legal responsibilities for the executors and beneficiaries.
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Refuses to see DR
My DH refuses to go to next DR appt and I can't force him DR wants to do lumbar puncture but he is too agitated to go thru with procedure as they want him there for four hours. This procedure may not shed any light on his condition, his cognition has been steadily worse and this is supposed to diagnose NPH. I asked DR to…