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Father going into Nursing Home - I am devastated
After multiple hospital visits in the past month my sister has been really pushing that we need to put him in a nursing home. I understand the need and know I can't possibly take care of him on my own. It still really devastates me, makes me extremely sad and upset, and guilty that we have to put him into a home. I am…
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Getting up and disorientated at night
My 94 year old mother was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago. Recently she has been starting to exhibit new symptoms at night and I would appreciate advice from anyone in the community would could help. She gets up in the night, strips the sheets off her bed and starts to pack her clothes as if she is about to go…
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Day 10 of Memory Care
Hi everybody, I haven’t been on for a bit. I’m still struggling to adjust to DH in Memory Care, and it’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Memory care hasn't been horrible, but there are definitely good care aides, and not so good care aides. I’m very glad I decided to go at different times of the day and just pop in…
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Life after diagnosis
I’d be interested to hear how you’re dealing with life after dx- like your personality has changed. I feel super sensitive and just different.
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Introduction
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Why isn't the cavalry coming?
Warning: Rant coming When my dear sister had cancer she was seen immediately by an oncologist. The social worker introduced himself and explained to us both about the support available to her. Whenever she or I expressed an interest in any of their programs or had a question someone called us within a day or two to see…
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Do I s*ck at caregiving?
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Palliative Care
The geriatrician my DH sees has ordered palliative care and we've seen first a registered nurse and then a nurse practitioner. I wondered if anyone has experience with pallilative care and if it's helped. What are the benefits of palliative care. I was told they would be able to transition him to hospice if/when the time…
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Can anyone answer my question
My DH is in the late stages of AD and wets himself and his bed. I dont understand how someone who wont drink much fluid (less than 12oz a day) can wet through a pull up with a diaper over the top of it and the bed pads...its all soaked in the morning as if he drank a gallon of water. Can anyone explain this to me?
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Father driving me CRAZY
My father has early dementia with no short term memory. He is constantly asking me over and over to help him with the computer. He is driving me batshit crazy. It is so annoying and I can't take it anymore. He doesn't know what he is doing on the computer and every time I suggest a way to make it better he just keeps going…
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How to move from assisted living to memory care
My mom has been living in AL almost 2 years after difficult move out to California from Michigan. She did well the first year, but then AL decided to renovate and the disruption triggered fear. She’s 77 years old and was diagnosed with likely dementia, has aphasia and recently has been having auditory hallucinations. She’s…
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Rapid progressing AD because of seizures???
Hi everyone, My mom is in her late 60's. She was diagnosed with mild dementia about a year and a half ago. She has been having seizures and it seems to be progressing the dementia at a very rapid rate. They're now saying she's got Moderate dementia, which seems accurate based on what we're seeing and the level of care…
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Jury Duty
DH voted in the last election. The ballot was long, and he only voted for a few that he knew, but he voted. Our jury summons are pulled from the voting lists. Today’s mail had a notice for DH that his name was pulled for Grand Jury duty. No way can DH be on a jury. His short term memory is almost nil. There was a link…
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Managing Incontinence
I’m new here. My DH was diagnosed about 2 years ago with FTD and possible ALZ. We are now dealing with incontinence. I am ok with pull-ups but he has a bad habit of missing the toilet and peeing on the bathroom marble floor. I try to get him to go to the bathroom on a schedule but he just won’t cooperate. I’m not sure he…
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Visiting a stage 7 patient
DW has not had the slightest cognitive reaction for 3-4 years. She can still swallow but reacts to nothing else. She has excellent care. So why do I visit? It is no practical use to her and emotionally very trying for me. But I do.
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What I miss the most
No question just how I feel. I have had a couple of drinks and am sitting in an empty house thinking (drinking and thinking maybe a dangerous combination). I have been married for 49 years and during the first 25 years I thought we had as close to perfect marriage as possible. the last 24 years has been much less than…
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I Feel so Awful….
my DH is cognitively stage 6. He layers clothes, confuses hand cream for tooth paste, hasn’t known me for a long time, (though he likes me). When he is having a good day and 4 hour respite, it’s easy but he has to stay continuously busy which is hard. He loves the out doors, hasn’t wondered but daily gets cuts from picking…
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Rapid Progression
My mom is 91 and has had early onset of dementia for the last couple of years. She recently got a UTI and has since then gone into a place that I do not even know how to cope deal with or even have a conversation with her. I have her at a skilled nursing while I figure out how I can either a bring her back home with me or…
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Combative and Unreachable
I'm reaching out to the most knowledgeable group of individuals who never wanted to be here, hoping someone may have some insight and guidance as I have reached my wall. My DH, love of my life, married 56 years, has been in memory care since last July - he has mixed Dementia - alzheimers and vascular. Diagnosed 15 yrs ago…
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Anger issues
when my DW’s memory lapses, I expect her disorientation. What surprises me is the anger that accompanies it. It’s like she is two different people. All I can do is be patient, but it is very stressful. The
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Caretaker of Mom with new Dx of Alzhiemer's Dementia
Hello - My mother (78) has fought me every step of the was through her Dx of dementia and now Alzheimer's. Today we saw a memory doc to discuss the possibility of the new medications for those with early onset. I was hopeful this would help my mom prolong the progression of Alzheimer's. Unfortunately she does not qualify…
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Re: Respite
Everyone tells me I need to take advantage of the respite being offered by friends - I have complied several times, however the fact that nothing is going to change with regard to caring for my spouse, especially at night. It’s only going to get more difficult and having an afternoon to do whatever for myself is like…
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Medicine refusal
My mother has dementia, which has now become more serious with delusions and not recognizing her children and other close relatives. For 3 months following a hip replacement operation she was incapable of doing most daily activities and has had the help of a live-in caregiver for basic things like changing her diaper or…
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Medicaid and Nursing Homes: Not Political: Just Necessary to Speak Our
I depend on this site for emotional support. It also has made me aware how lucky I am that my husband and I had good jobs and were super savers. I just finished a meeting with a money guy who went over my finances. He walked me through how I can afford good private memory care for my DH without complete exhausting the…
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Mush
My brain is turning to mush. Can anyone else relate to this? My DH not only has VD he also has APHASIA so we often live in silence. We have quite a few activities together walking, sailing, gardening etc but like everyone else it’s mostly 24/7 care, dressing, showering, food then household chores. Today we had a lovely…
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memory care leases
I started touring memory care places in case it comes to that. For those who have a PWD in memory care, do you have a lease that specifies a specific rate for a specific term? If so, how long is the lease? Are there any interesting terms to the lease that let you get out of the lease? Month to month for memory care sounds…
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Hello Everyone - just diagnosed with AD
I am a retired engineer, 71 years old, born and raised in Ponce, Puerto Rico, but I have been living on the mainland since 1984. I am a widower living alone and was recently diagnosed with very early stage AD based on the results of my PET Scan, even though my PTAU 217 levels showed normal. I do not have the PTOE 4 (is…
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Adult daycare
I need to get DH out among people and looking into adult daycare . Very few in my area but some 20-30 min away . Thinking of taking him with me is this a good idea or should I check them out in my own first?
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Mom
Hello, I have been seeing her with my sister recently. She sleeps all the time and as the desiese progresses well it is really terrible. I still kiss, hug, hold her hand and pray with her. Actually now my sister plays the Our Father in Italian for her. No matter if my mom responds to us, it's really all about her and not…
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Early Onset AZ Newbie
I’m new to this community. I am (51F) taking care of my dear husband (56M) who was diagnosed at the beginning of January of this year with mid-stage early onset Alzheimer’s dementia. There were signs starting about 3 years ago that I just didn’t associate with dementia, and I (mentally) kick myself for not realizing…