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A very resistant FIL - clearly dementia but refusing to sign a POA, see doctor, etc
Hey all, hope you’re keeping well. I made a post about being new to this situation recently and was super helpful and supportive. I was looking for some more advice if possible! We are in the UK if that helps. My bf is looking after his dad at the mo who clearly has dementia. He wanders and gets lost in his two bed flat,…
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Can't remember my DW pre-dementia
I am in stage 8. My DW was diagnosed in 2016 and died in August of this year. Her symptoms started in 2012. I cannot remember what my DW was like pre-dementia. It makes me so sad. I hope those memories will eventually come back…
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When it rains...
When it rains, the grass gets wet. I know better than to traverse the back yard walking my dogs in the dark with wet grass. I was distracted. Tuesday, I had taken the day off work to go spend with my mother in MC, so I actually had more time to walk them leisurely. I slipped down a hill and broke my ankle. As I lay there…
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When is it time for more?
So, when do you know it's time for MC or 24 hour nursing at home? I'm dealing with my father who was previously diagnosed with VD and onsight ALZ with PTSD on top of all else. He's been in AL since February under the guise of home modifications for him to safely come home. Since he's been so happy in the facility, I've…
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Trying to help primary caregiver
Personal status: secondary caregiver; grandson (Edited for accuracy: Grandpa in hospital on ventilator and ng tube, Grandma watching over him; I visit sometimes) What's something primary caregivers wish a family member/other caregiver had done for you and/or the patient? I visit occasionally and sometimes bring stuff from…
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Ashamed father doing bare minimum for wife, home and self
I live at home with my senior parents, acting as a part time caretaker. My dad is in his late 60s and my mom just turned 70. She was an alcoholic, had a stroke at 65 and was diagnosed with vascular dementia (VD). Before her stroke, their marriage was strained and he was planning on a divorce. For 3 years she was in…
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Hubby in MC wants to come home. Help!
I stayed away one week. Hubby happy to see me but crying. Wants to come home. Very difficult to redirect. I’ve been bringing cards games which helps but then he starts up he wants to go home. We are letting a doctor dictate where he can live. Anyway any suggestions how to handle this. Maybe there are meds for him to take…
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Bathing-when the water feels wrong - not refusing-afraid..
I saw this on a Facebook post and hope this helps someone caring for their loved one. In the book "The 36 Hour Day" it lists some reasons your loved one doesn't bathe or shower: Fear, not remembering how to shower (there are steps), water too hot or cold, room too hot or cold, fear of falling, the water may actually hurt…
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Just when you think your loved one is no longer able to understand....
My DH is nearing the end of his journey. He has difficulty swallowing and is losing weight quickly. His speech is usually slurred, and he can't hold any kind of conversation. When I am feeding him, I remind him to swallow (or else he starts coughing violently) but I try to keep it light and smile a lot so he doesn't think…
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What do you wish your LO could know about you, do for you, or say to you?
I am a retired teacher. When I was teaching, one of my favorite books was I Wish My Teacher Knew, by Kyle Schwartz. I believe the book helped me to be a better teacher. Now, I am a caregiver for my husband (DH) who has dementia. To be a better caregiver, I want to know… What do you wish your spouse, loved one (LO), or…
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Early On-set sadness
My DH seems to be advancing rapidly in his disease; he is only 61. I feel guilty that it's because I can't provide the level of care he needs. We've made too many trips to the ER lately. Most recently, he fell out of bed, tripped on a metal step stool, broke it, and then snapped the stabilizing bar, and it stabbed him in…
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Considering Alzheimer's as a spiritual journey
Found this on Google, and thought it'd be a useful perspective: Alzheimer's is viewed as a potential spiritual journey for both the person with dementia and their caregiver, offering opportunities for growth, connection, and a deeper understanding of self and life's meaning, even amid loss and confusion. This perspective…
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$300 speaker
my DW threw away a nice Bose speaker while taking out the trash. I know there’s nothing I can do about it now. Just venting.
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Solutions for Missing Laundry in MC?
Compared to many other challenges, this one is minor, but I am hoping someone has a workable solution. My father has been in MC for more than a year. I visit many times a week and would rather focus on being with him than on constantly surveilling for missing items. To date we have lost four sets of sheets, one unique…
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The money is gone!
Mom has been in Al for a year and a half. When we moved her in they said they accepted Medicaid waiver. I was never told family would need to pay the remaining. Partly my fault, I should have asked better questions. The facility is not what I had hoped it would be and I’m not sure how much longer she could safely stay…
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NHTD waiver for my Mom living with me Stage 6 Alzheimer’s
hi everyone, I’m pretty new on this forum especially posting a discussion so I’m not really sure if I’m doing this correctly. I live in upstate New York and I am my mom’s soul care provider. I moved my mother into my home eight months ago and I’m still trying to tap into NHTD waiver services in our area. Is there anyone…
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Simple technology for ederly
I'm starting this discussion because I've finally found some peace as a caregiver. I am a caregiver for my dad, who has Alzheimer's. At one point, everything became too much for me. He started to be more needy, and his memory is getting worse. I have to leave the house to go to work, and he would call me for every single…
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Incontinence?
My mom has VD and ALZ. For a while, I would say she would go to the bathroom frequently, wear pads, and we kind of determined this was because she was afraid of having an accident and having trouble really determining a full bladder. And while she still holds her bladder, she seems unable to know if she needs to go #2, or…
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Early onset of my husband
I’m new to this group. My husband and I just moved abroad 2years ago when my husband retired. My husband struggled with depression after retiring, finding his purpose ect. Once he got settled in o started seeing some…missteps in his thinking. His dad is in his 80’s with Alzheimer’s. So I kind of thought this might happen.…
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Early onset at age 60
Hello, my husband was recently diagnosed with Early Onset Alzheimer's at age 60. We live in the Erie, PA area. The support groups in the area don't seem to fit our demographic. Although we do enjoy the company of folks older than us, some of the challenges we are facing are a lot different than if we were in our later…
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I'm in the moderately severe stagr
So far I am doing okay Memory is disappearing I'm getting ready to sell my house while I still have my witts about me I will.move into the care center sometime soon
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How to Help My Sister Have Access to Spending Money
My sister is in mid-stage Alzheimer's and lives in an assisted living community. They take day trips to Krogers and other places and she enjoys buying things for herself. She used to be able to manage a debit card, but has lost it several times and can't remember her pin. She now believes we are withholding money from her.…
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Travel With Alzheimer’s
My wife has Alzheimer’s, and she really wants to move back to her hometown, which is 2500 miles from where we live now. We can either fly or drive (money is not a concern), but I can see potential problems for either. Driving will mean many hours in the car each day, and she doesn’t like that idea. Flying presents other…
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SLUMS got me in a slump
My DM who is my pwd was given the SLUMS test today. She has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment/early stage Dementia, in December 2024. After much pleading she got authorized for an MRI. In July, she was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia. She is not on any meds. She refused both, Aricept and Memantine. I've…
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Memory Care + Aide - Make it make sense
I'm trying so hard not to vent, not to be angry. But my mom's MC is asking me to pay for a person to be with her 12 hours a day because of the falling. We literally can't afford this full time, so I'll be doing it on weekends. I get that they can't be with her 1:1 all day, but it's just incredible. The cost seems…
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Anger Issues with mom and losing caregivers
My mom is 89 years old with moderate Alzheimer's and Binswanger disease. She lives with my step-dad (they have been married over 50 years) who also was just diagnosed. I live 250 miles away and have been staying with my parents first for one week out of every month and now two weeks out of every month for over two years…
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Oregon Caregiver Conference
This discussion was created to help Oregon and Southwest Washington caregivers stay connected.
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After Years of Caregiving, Uncle w/Dementia Needs Remote Support - Affordable Tech/Dev Suggestions
I'm at a major crossroads and feeling a huge mix of relief, guilt, and stress. I'm hoping for some practical advice, especially from those who've managed long-distance care for someone with dementia. For the past few years, my life has been completely dedicated to caring for my uncle. He got divorced about 10 years ago and…
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Feeling lost, dad has passed and am struggling to handle his estate
My dad passed a week ago. My mom preceded him in death. I have a copy of their will and I was his activated POA. The attorney that created the will is no longer living. What do I do next? Do I need to hire an attorney to instruct us how to process the will, file his taxes, etc.? Is there a checklist of all the things I…
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How to deal with a mom that thinks you're stealing.
Hello, first time poster and just wanted to get some advice. My 87yr young mother is in early/mid stage dementia. Her short term memory is at maybe 30%. And unfortunately she's begun to confuse long term memories with recent ones. Example, she thinks my grandma who passed away 47 yrs ago just passed away a couple years ago…