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Looking for programs to deal with violent dementia issue.
My mother and father live outside Texas, my mother is talking about moving here with my father who has moderate to severe dementia. He has become increasingly irritable and violent, striking my mother repeatedly in the head, the last event causing a concussion and lacerations. I frankly do not know what to do about this…
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Husband hit 89 year old wife
My mother is caring for her husband (both 89) who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Tonight he hit her twice in the face in their home when he become frustrated with something that she was doing (no excuse). To the best of my knowledge this has never happened before. I am interested in any advice or guidance on how we…
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Doctors visit gone wrong
Sorry for the long post. My DH is in year 5 of official diagnosis of vascular/FTD dementia. We have a wonderful doctor we see every 6 months. Or more if needed. In March he took what I call a hard dip and we went in for his 6 months appointment . A few medicine changes started taking place that seemed to make things worse.…
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Kisunla Infusions
Hi everyone. I’m new here. My wife and I are trying to get my mother in law moved from LA out to PHX but it seems impossible to re-establish care in a new state while trying to create as smooth of a transition as possible. Hoping to get her started on Kisunla asap but insurance just denied it and now it feels like we are…
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In between stages
Hi. I am new to this site. Actually I don’t know why I never joined despite my being aware of its existence. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and quickly progressed in his disease. He was then diagnosed with Parkinson’s a passed December 24, 2021. This all transpired in about 4 years. After he passed my brother and…
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Any gay caregiver caring for their spouse or partner in Vegas?
My husband was diagnosed with Alzhemiers in 2022, and after a fall, he has progressed rapidly. Currently he is in a memory care facility in Vegas. It seems that there arent any body in a similar situation as me, and it feels very isolating. Any one in Vegas in a similar situation?
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Making the move from AL to MC
My mom is currently in AL but we have found that she has been wandering outside on her own, so we need to increase her supervision, therefore putting her in MC is the only option. Just wondering from others experience, how long should the transition take? She is in amazing physical health but currently has mid-stage…
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How to manage putting a pet down
Over the past several months our beloved cat’s nasal tumor has grown larger and her quality of life and weight have deteriorated. DW is middle-stage dementia and can’t seem to remember our discussions of when to let the cat go. Last week we agreed that it was time and scheduled it with the vet for tomorrow. We’ve talked…
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What to expect at the end
If talk of death/dying upsets you, please skip. My husband died last night. Thanks to hospice, he was able to take his final breath in a hospital bed in our living room. As a hospital nurse for 20+ years, I witnessed many deaths. While each situation is unique, my husband's passing followed a fairly predictable course.…
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Post ended
post done
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DW Doesn’t recognize me
My DW (65) has been battling Alzheimer’s for the past 8 years and is now in early Stage 7. I have been her primary caregiver throughout this journey, although earlier this year I hired a caregiver who comes four days a week during the daytime to help. Over the past several months, my wife has continued to decline. Most…
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Hubby in MC taking him to doctor first time out
hubby has been in memory care 7 months. The facility said they would take him to doctors appointment with aide and I’d meet them there. Now I find out they cannot do it so I’ll be taking him. It’s his first time out in 7 months. Trying to think what I can give him for the ride in car to distract him. The ride is about a…
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Preparing for the inevitable future.
My darling bride just turned 60 and has had a diagnosis for two years. Looking back she probably had symptoms in the past up to 5 years ago. We're still doing very well at home, and were able to do a lot of things, but I need to start preparing for the eventual time when she needs more help. My question is about what I…
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To sell or not to sell…
We moved my mom out of her house and into AL near me back in April. She was not emotionally ready to let the house go, so we have not tried to sell it yet. She occasionally talks about moving back there someday, but of course that is never going to happen. However, I think it makes it easier to accept her current…
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Who are we really?
We are partners, nurses, thinkers, rememberers, caretakers and captain of a ship we are trying desperately to keep from sinking. We think less of ourselves and more of who we care for. We are the lonely, the lost and often the forgotten. We are what none of us thought we would be. On the flip side of all that, we are…
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Finances
This is what worries me the most. How are we going to financially pay for my DH’s care. We rent our house, don’t have savings or long term insurance and we make too much for Medicaid. This totally freaks me out. My DH just thinks insurance is going to pay. I need to work. When the time comes I don’t know what to do
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Angry and argumentative vs quiet and accepting
I have often wondered why one person with dementia will become angry and argumentative while another seems to just seems a bit confused and tends to accept limitations without much concern. Do you think it could be related to their personality type before dementia? My mil always gave in to whatever my very strong willed…
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Dad gets aggressive
My dad has a bandage over his wound per his dr and wound clinic. It gets changed by the wound clinic as well as my sister and I every 3 days. The dr. Said it needs to stay on to help it heal. He forgets it needs to stay on and keeps trying to take it off; gets mad at us for not taking it off when he asks. He feels he…
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Cleaning out mom's room
So tomorrow will be two weeks since my mom's death. Her MC director, while very kind with condolences, is pushing gently for me to get her room cleaned out so that they can paint and prepare it for a new resident. When I pointed out that mom was paid up for this month (and I was out of town for the first week after her…
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Elder law attorney specific recommendations?
Please excuse if this is not appropriate to ask. I've been interviewing elder law attorneys for Medicaid planning for my early-stage spouse and am wondering if anyone has any specific recommendations for Northern NJ, Bergen County in particular.
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Stress, guilt, confusion
My oldest sister told me she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's a month ago. I know she's had mild memory loss for years, but she hid it well. It still seems mild to me, but I've never known anyone with this disease. She calls me to tell me that I never call her, although we speak frequently. When the conversation starts, she…
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I hung up on mom today
I called mom to say hi and check in on her (she is in a nursing home). She started by telling me she has a list of things she wants from her house when I go there next. I let her rattle off the list of things she doesn’t need and made no comments about how ridiculous these items are. Thing’s quickly snowballed and she…
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introduction
Hi! My name is Richard. I'm 74, married, retired from remunerative employment as a lawyer. I was diagnosed with Centiloid middle-level Alzheimer's in early March. I had suspected as much, given prior diagnoses based on word-finding and certain other memory categories, but I am determined to live as independently as I can.…
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Bill Ritter talks to Maria Shriver about her Alzheimer's advocacy
Bill Ritter is a news anchor who was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's.
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Early On Set Alzheimer's Diagnosis
My daughter, age 50, has been diagnosed with early on set alzheimer’s. It took us forever to find some place that would help us. She was diagnosed about 2 years ago. We had to go to Mayo Clinic in Rochester to get that! Washington University did not help. None of the doctors we went to in our area helped so much time was…
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The Limits of Caregiving
I am 87 and my wife is 85. It's been 8 years since her Alzheimer's was first noticed and now she is in Stage 6. We have had a wonderful life overall and a great marriage (67 years) and two sons we are proud of. But face it, our life is over. We have no friends now, nothing to look forward to except a struggle to get…
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Putting the beloved cat to sleep
Might have to put the cat to sleep. My WWD lives for that cat. I fear it will trigger a sharp decline in her condition. Would it be better for her to be present or absent when he is put to sleep?
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overnight pullups advice for incontinence
Hello wonderful people, I was wondering if anyone has advice for a brand of overnight pull-ups that is the most absorbent. Lately my LO often soaks through even the brands that say they hold the most liquid. He does sleep over 12 hours sometimes, so i know that would be a challenge for any product. Our family has tried…
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Lost all personal info
Today the Hospice nurse was here for weekly visit. Most weeks we talk about how the last week has went and then vitals are checked. About every 6 months or so they will ask my DH personal questions. Usually he can always tell the nurse his name and then the other information such as where he is, what season it is, etc is…
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What do you think caused it?
I am certain every one of you has asked this question: what caused this to happen to my loved one. I have different thoughts at different times. But if I had to pick one guess I am going to say statins. Although correlation is not causation it’s hard to ignore the uptick in statin use with the uptick of dementia over the…