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Narcissists , before & after dementia ...
I recall a number of posters mentioning that their parent , now with dementia , was cold and a narcissist even before the disease manifested . By accident I came across this interview on narcissists . Who knew how many flavors there are! It's a real ketchup factory. I found it interesting that one of the ways to deal with…
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Dad continues to be ready to move out of MC plus staffing changes
Hi Community, Dad continues to talk about moving out. The difference I see now is that he is not only packing up and talking about it like before. Now he puts his jacket on and starts carrying his things to the MC door. The time it was most escalated a staff member was able to redirect him into his room to show her the…
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New to the group. Need a listener pls
Hi. My dad has dementia and in MC in a dif state. I’m his guardian and take care of things for him but haven’t talked to him in few months as I suffer from ptsd and he’s my trigger. He mailed me a letter of sorts - various scraps of paper, misspellings and incoherent sentences. I can’t stop crying. It’s so hard to see his…
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The other shoe has dropped
Well the inevitable happened this afternoon, she took another bad fall and has a spiral fracture of her right proximal humerus (dominant arm of course). We are in the ER and awaiting transfer to inpatient hospice, this is going to require a morphine drip and pray that it’s quick from here. There won’t be any coming back…
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Who else just misses their (still-living) parent?
I miss my dad. I miss being able to call him just to talk about whatever is on the top of my mind at that moment, or ask his opinion about something — anything. But especially being able to ask for his advice about life or what to do while trying to navigate this world. I miss his wisdom from a long life of experience,…
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Get me through this day!
Just venting here: The windows in our home are over 40 years old. The seals are broken on some, and others actually whistle from the draft. So after much procrastination, I decided to have them replaced. I figured they would send a couple of guys, and they would make their way through the house one room at a time and I…
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Not liking my feelings
Losing my empathy. I’m finding everything my DH does is irritating me! I can’t stand him not showering, wearing the same clothes for days on end - even sleeping in them, his constant watching my every move, lack of help with the smallest of tasks. He won’t go out unless he’s with me to provide entertainment. I actually…
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FAST Scale and info sheet
@harshedbuzz shared this link on a different discussion. I’m bringing the link here to discuss the info sheet about the FAST scale. https://alzconnected.org/home/leaving?allowTrusted=1&target=https%3A%2F%2Fmccare.com%2Fpdf%2Ffast.pdf We’ve always said that a PWD can skip stages or have symptoms from different stages at the…
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Just sad! Rant.
I am sad just plain sad. 10 years into this disease with my DH. No real end in sight. Days become weeks, week become years and the beat goes on! My DH is progressing toward his transition and I am wondering what the heck is next for me. Today is rough. I can't stop crying. I just want to turn back the clock. The past…
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Should I share my own surgery recovery with my LO that is in assisted living?
I have been caregiving for my mom for 4 years, moved her to assisted-living two months ago. I was consistently visiting her 4 to 5 times a week to assure her she is still loved and we are not abandoning her. She has vascular dementia and is resistant to much care so she doesn’t let the assisted-living staff do hardly…
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Suggestions please
My DH was diagnosed a few months ago with younger onset and we're both struggling with how to process it and move forward. Even though we've been pushing for the diagnosis for several years it's still turned our world upside down. We're in our 40's with kids and I'm just not sure how to navigate or handle everything or…
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another memory care question
I've been looking at memory care facilities, most of which are owned by corporations, but a few are privately owned. (I'm not looking at the ten person homes yet—he needs more stimulation than they offer). I check my state health department website for complaints and citations for each one I visit. What I have found is…
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10 ways to help caregivers
In no particular order. All of these apply whether the PWD is at home or in a facility. Ask about the PWD. And listen. Ask the caregiver how they are doing. And listen. Give the caregiver flowers, chocolate or wine. Send the caregiver a nice or funny card to tell them how much they’re appreciated. More than once. Offer to…
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Vascular Dementia(10)
My DH was recently diagnosed with vascular dementia. He is currently exhibiting memory problems, confusion, frustration/aggravation. For example, he will ask me 4-5 times a day what we are having for dinner - even though he took it out. He asks the day of the week, the month even though he can look for it on his…
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For Older Unmarried Couples, Caregiving Obligations Can Be Murky
Gifted link from the NYT. An article about caregiving issues specific to older unmarried couples. https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/10/health/elderly-unmarried-couples-caregiving.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ZE4.JvyT.QUUSabGS4hNM&smid=url-share
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Donepezil and Memantine-Extreme Side Effects
Hello Everyone! This is time on the site. My DH was officially diagnosed with VD about eight months ago. But because my mom also had dementia, I knew three years ago that something was wrong. His doctor didn't listen to me, and not until he had three mini strokes, and carotid artery operated on did anyone start listening…
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Formication
Is formication a symptom of Alzheimer’s, I have mixed dementia and I seem to get this sensation quite often.
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Increased Zoloft from 50 mg to 100mg
Thinking of increasing my DH Zoloft to 100. At times I see more anxiety in him. I am a little hesitant bc I don’t want to overdo the medication. Can anyone tell me if they see improvement after increased, or side effects?
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Mom with VD in final stage need advice
Hello, I've connected with others in the past here and have always appreciated the support and thoughts/suggestions from others. Mom has VD likely mixed with Alzheimers. 2.5 yrs since diagnosis. Likely had mild stage for a year prior. I am an only child. I placed Mom in a MC assisted living facility when it was obvious she…
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I'm almost as overwhelmed as my mom
New to this site but my mother was diagnosed and placed for her safety into assisted living nearly a year ago. Lots Of logistics issues but I wont go into all of that in my first note. A month ago, she had a fall, ended up in hospital with covid, pneumonia, pulmonary embolism and, since going into hospital, delirium… Cant…
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When is it time for palliative care?
My DH has been in and out of Geri-psych units since May, and has spent more than a month in his current unit. Halfway through his stay, he developed aspiration pneumonia and spent five days in the hospital getting IV antibiotics. He’s back in the Geri-psych unit now, but has had a significant decline. He’s on a puréed…
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Memory Care
My Dad was just placed in a memory care facility. I live in a different state and would like input on how much time I should spend with him when I am in town. I don’t want to disrupt his schedule. A little info about his current condition. He knows who we are, he can shower and dress himself. He needed help with…
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Key lime dessert
DW is on hospice She can only eat food of a pudding consistency I make key lime pie filling for DW in little aluminum cupcake cups. It is just egg yolks condensed milk and lime juice I add green food coloring since that helps me mix it thoroughly. I use aluminum cups with lids since i take 4 at a time to the memory care 1…
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Mom
I need to get help for my brother in Las Vegas for in home care I live in San Jose ca and she is getting worse has fallen many times again today
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A good man with Alzheimers
I was called today by my husband’s memory care administrator to tell me that my husband was a hero. After dinner yesterday he witnessed a fellow resident inappropriately touch another who was in a wheel chair. He stood up and confronted the offender and loudly said, “Stop it. Don’t do that”! This gained the attention of an…
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Voting
This has been a subject of discussion in my support group recently. One man told us that he voted on behalf of his wife because he knows how she would vote if she could. She's currently on hospice, she cannot walk, talk or feed herself. She certainly can't sign her name. He admitted that he forged her signature. I told him…
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Medicines No Longer Working
Hi all! I haven’t posted in a while. My mom, now 68, has been in AL since January. Since then, she has been on MANY medications whether sedative, antidepressant, mood stabilizers etc. It’s gotten to the point the doctor at the home has told us she is no longer responsive to treatment. She no longer holds a conversation.…
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New to all this
My husband was officially diagnosed with alzheimer's 3 weeks ago, in the early stages of this. I have bounced back and forth between denial, anger, tears and fear for what our life will be and for how long. I'm not sure what to do, what the steps are to help him and myself manage this. He has problems finding the words to…
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Ectropion Relief
I searched forum for ectropion and read about someone weighing surgery for eptropion. MIL lower lids turn out exposing the red inner lid. We did surgery 1÷ year ago but they have sagged again. Same doctor now thinks face lift is needed! Not doing that. Does anyone have any suggestions to make her more comfortable, and to…
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Working through the issues (and emotions) - giving and requesting ideas for help
Hi. I just joined this group and have reviewed a number of strings. I find it crazy that with as rampant as this disease is, each case is still somewhat unique and there is not one methodology to deal with all cases. I look forward to learning from you all! I want to ask for direction as well as share some things that our…