-
One parent diagnosed, one parent…
MY MIL has been diagnosed with a very slow progression of Alzheimer’s. She was diagnosed 15 years ago and is just now reaching Stage 4. By the time the evening arrives, you can definitely see a change not only in reasoning/processing but also in personality. Her husband of the past 40 years is her PCG. He’s a terrific man,…
-
How to respond when DH does this
We have been married 33 years. DH has anger attacks. There has been never any talk about leaving. We have been through even his helicopter accident. Saying this there has been some recent anger episodes where it is late at night or early morning, he comes in yelling “If you are so unhappy then leave. Just go! Do you want…
-
Spectrum
Hello, I am a caregiver to an elderly parent. We are in Peterborough, ON. Canada. I am finding it more and more frustrating because my life is on hold. My mother is 92 yrs, and at times appears to be very sharp ("with it") but she does forget a lot, more and more, and I see signs of decline. It is quite challenging because…
-
Help with bringing in help
Hi All, My DW is putting up a fight about brining in a caregiver in our home. Probably Stage 5 but I don't feel comfortable leaving her for extended times. I would like a break as well. Anyone have a good therapeutic fib for why So-n-So is coming in? Any stories that you've used to bridge the resistance? Thank you
-
New Here. Sundowner/Hallucinations
My mom cares for my dad at home. I am only 2 miles away and my son and I are their support system. My dad (89yr) has been dealing with sundowners for several months but it is getting worse. Some nights he sleeps ok and some nights he is up and down throughout the night. We learned my mom (84yr) has been sleeping in a…
-
Defecates on himself, refuses to shower
Husband defecates on himself and refuses to shower. Even with Depends a stain will come through. I cannot get him to shower. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I can't take much more.
-
I need a safe space for me
please allow me to vent… I am so tired. My head constantly aches. I don’t sleep well. My DH has AZ and, I am beginning to think, another form of dementia as well. We see doc in two weeks to discuss. He is all over the place some days. Some days hallucinating. Some days body temp out of control. Then he sits down and reads…
-
So, this happened...
This article doesn't come right out and state the driver had dementia, but I suspect the son is going to be having the conversation about the car keys HB
-
Near the end
We are down to the last hours. I am lying in bed with DH, music in the background, window open to sun and breeze. I am so terribly sad while being so grateful that he will be free. my heart is breaking.
-
Dentist trip
I’m taking my DW to the dentist next week for the first time since she was diagnosed 2 years ago. She is currently in stages5/6. Has anyone had any problems with their LO at the dentist? Trying to prepare myself before I take her.
-
Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors
My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the…
-
Convincing a parent to use a walker when you can't reason with them
How can I convince my 89-year-old mother to use a walker in the house if I can't be expected to reason with a dementia patient? She has repeatedly rejected the idea over the phone and says she doesn't need one but my daughter who lives with her is insisting she use one after a fall at home that was scary for both of them.…
-
Screams At Night
My DW has now had a few loud screaming events at night. She doesn’t remember if she has had a nightmare, but thinks she has. None of her meds list this as a side effect. Is this another of the joyous things that can come with dementia? Anyone else here experience this and found any solution?
-
Seizures? EEG Negative
Hi all--I'm Lia and new to this discussion group. My mother has moderate/advanced Alzheimer's and this spring she started having what seem like very short (abt 30 second?) seizures. She starts breathing hard, her eyes open really wide/roll back, her head slumps forward, she'll usually cry out that she's going to fall, and…
-
Taboo subject of divorce
Ater reading others post and knowing my own situation I am just wondering if anyone has considered divorce. I hear and believe it is the disease but also think that no one should be treated the way some are. If we are only staying out of obligation are we doing the right thing. In my situation after giving my wife a last…
-
How to get rid of urine smell
My DH's MC room constantly has a urine odor. He changes his wet pants as needed and the aides put them in the open hamper in the bathroom. Laundry gets done once a week and by then the odor is so strong and permeates the room. I just brought home his laundry because I want the room to smell clean for visitors for Father's…
-
What is "Quality of Life?"
Definition of Quality: "The standard of something as measured against other things of similar kind." Long story short- My wife was diagnose in 2019 with AZ. At this time she was still lucid and could understand the road that laid before her and me. At the time I asked her, "what are your wishes? What do you want me to do…
-
Intrusive thought
I am fairly new here. I've posted here and there in response to other people, but saw a post in the "caring for spouse/partner" section that resonated with me. I was born with a life-threatening disorder, which I have miraculously been able to defy the grim reaper's grasp. I have become a disabled R.N and have watched the…
-
Executive functions
my DW has lost a lot of her executive functions. It is my care responsibilities to take care of all decisions. She sometimes demands to know what is going on and i try to explain even though she won’t remember. I use DARE everyday as much as i can and also redirect, but it is a struggle. DARE is Do not ARGUE,REACT or…
-
Wandering
Why do they wander. I just can’t figure this out. My DW wandered for the first time about 5 months ago. With the help from local PD, we got her back home safely. Fast forward to this month. No wandering until last week when she left house (while I was showering) and walked about 2 miles until PD found her. Had to be talked…
-
Mild Cognitive Impairment
This is my first post. In July 2023 I noted to family that my 81 year-old DW was having significant memory problems. In January 2024 she was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). I am particularly interested in others who have a LO diagnosed with MCI and for how many years or did it eventually progress to a more…
-
Summer is coming and mom has a faulty temperature gauge!
My mother, who has moderate dementia, live with us. She frequently complains that she is very cold, so we make sure she has plenty of layers, but summer is coming, and my house is usually very warm even with the air conditioning on. My mother hates the air conditioner. She’ll complain that she senses a wind and demands we…
-
Need Your Input Please
My name is Denise. I am posting this because I really need input for what I am experiencing. My husband is doing what I understand is vocal verbalizing. It has become increasingly loud and more frequent. We often go out with friends as he enjoys that. Unfortunately, it has become almost unbearable for my friends to deal…
-
DH home from respite care
Dh is to return home today from a 10 day respite stay at a great place . I am having conflicting feelings and thoughts. I am at some level looking forward to having him at home again and then I wish he could just stay at this memory care place. It is a great place. He participating in all the activities they have and seems…
-
How to respond?
A few weeks ago my mom (who has alz and lives in assisted living) had a fit, accused me of starving her, not helping her get food, and treating her badly. She texted my 12yr old that “your mom is treating me like s#^t. I never would have done this to her!” So the next time I was in my mom’s presence I deleted my child’s…
-
Long distance caregiver
I am trying to care for my eldest brother who was diagnosed with dementia and June of 2024. And right now it's May 5th of 2025. And it has escalated so quickly I mean the progression of it has really taken off like a wildfire. I live in Tennessee he lives in Ohio and I'm constantly racing to Ohio check on him to make sure…
-
100 days and news
After the discussion yesterday about having my DH home for 100 days, today's news is…not ironic, but maybe serendipitous? The hospice nurse visited today and says DH has one to two weeks left based on all the new behavior. I am all over the board. I'm horribly sad, stunned at the end being so near, grateful that he does…
-
Rexulti
Has anyone experienced an increase in blood sugar while taking Rexulti ? It is one of the warnings and DW has had increasing readings since she started Rexulti. No other change in meds or diet.
-
I'm Hitting My Limit
I am so lost right now and really need to vent. I don't know that I can take the complaints, shadowing and delusions anymore. Perhaps it's because I keep hoping for something back, even though I know my DW can't offer anything back. I feel like a complete failure in this caregiving and wonder what kind of person I am that…
-
Selling Mom's Home Using POA When She Seems Lucid
I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally. When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this…