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Does your state medicaid cover MCF?
Spoke with CELA yesterday and found out medicare in CA can cover SNF for patients with dementia who need it but does not cover a MCF. We would have a share of cost but at least we wouldn't have to pay the entire amount ourselves. If I'm not able to keep DH with VD home with help until the end, I'm hoping his poor physical…
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Books, and thermostats
Two questions today… Suggestions, please: My partner has always been a big reader, though she hasn't been able to follow a story (on tv or by reading) for a couple years now. She always wants to carry a book with her and does sort of read it. Everything we have at home has been deemed "too negative," or "not interesting"…
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I haven't posted in quite a while
Every time I think about it, something else happens and I put it off. It's been eighteen months since my DH entered MC and I wish I could say I have adjusted to being alone. My life is full of activities but underneath is the sadness that never goes away. In the evenings, when I am alone, it hits full force and the tears…
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Dementia worse in nursing home
Has anyone had their parent get worse immediately if placed in nursing home? My dad was placed in nursing home a couple of months ago and his dementia is definitely worse. He can't remember the place he just lived in for the past 25 years. Its so sad.
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Fear of being alone
my mother has maybe stage 6 dementia and she is terrified of being alone, to the point where I can’t go into the bathroom without her. I don’t mind bringing her with me, or keeping her in eyesight at all times (which she needs for safety reasons anyway) but the terror and anxiety she is feeling is gut wrenching. I hold her…
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Advice on letting go of the guilt and next steps...
My mom is a recent Alzheimer's diagnosis (in the last 6 months) but has been on a steady, slow decilne since 2021. Since her actual diagnosis, things are rapidly declining and I have so much guilt that I am not there for her more. She lives with my Dad/her husband still but is mostly alone during the day while he is at…
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Correction
How best to correct someone with memory loss ?
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GPS Enabled Watch
I don't post often - but I check-in every day for your sage advise! My DH (70) has Alzheimer's + Vascular Dementia and was diagnosed 1.5 years ago using blood test and MRI. The Neuropsychologist conducted testing and concluded he was in the 'Moderate' stage. I (64 F) am trying to work another year before I retire, so he is…
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New Here!
Hello, I am the 40-something daughter in law of a PWD. I cook for her and my FIL at least once a week (he is is her primary caregiver). Meals at our house, meals at their other child's home and meals out. All their lives, the boys (her only children) and husband were and still are MAJOR "ball-busters" - for lack of a…
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Mother is getting worse
So my mom has been showing signs of dementia/Alzheimers for over a year now. We recently found out that she has atrophy of the brain but did not ask them to test for the reason. She, and my daughter and her family, are living with me temporarily because to add insult to injury she had a tree fall on her house so they are…
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MC decision
I began visiting MC facilities as my Plan B to be ready if something happens to me. However, after seeing some very nice places I’m thinking more about the improved care he would get there and the extra freedom I’d have. DH is mid stage 6. I’ve been unsuccessful at getting him to shower (I do what I can to keep him clean…
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Constant questions
DW is in stage 6 of Alzheimer's. She is a question machine, and not just with me, with anyone and everyone. It gets frustrating, especially because of the repetition, her asking the same question over and over, unaware that she has already asked numerous times. Her short term memory is totally gone. I do believe her…
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Improving Services and Program for People with Dementia
Michael Ellenbogen sent me this excellent, concise article on how to improve services and programs for people with dementia (including his own recommendations for hospital care). https://progressally6yogf8hc32ioroi.s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/list/Journal/99/j99-delorenzo.pdf
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Just need to talk to my friends (208)
HB, thanks for telling me about auto comprehensive paying for rodent damage. I doubt this will be over $1000 which is my deductible. JeriLynn, I would be interested in the device you mentioned that makes a noise to scare rodents. I have those scent packets but don't know how to keep them from falling out but maybe the…
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Quick question I
My DW with EOAD has been losing her vocabulary in the last couple of months. Nothing that comes out of her mouth makes any sense. The words are clear but the composition of the sentence makes no sense I’m thinking because of her shrinking vocabulary. My question is do they also lose their ability to understand what someone…
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Lost My Sister June 25, 2025
My sister finally went home to the Lord on June 25, 2025 after a valiant battle with this insidious disease for at least five years, likely more. She would have been 60 on July 17. We had thought about having her memorial on her 60th birthday, but couldn't quite get it together. So the memorial is July 30, just a few days…
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Improving Services and Programs for People with Dementia
Michael Ellenbogen sent me this excellent, concise article on how to improve the care and treatment of people with dementia (including his own recommendations). https://progressally6yogf8hc32ioroi.s3.us-east-1.amazonaws.com/list/Journal/99/j99-delorenzo.pdf
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Moved husband to memory care and he just wants me
I brought my husband, who is in stage 6, to a memory care facility yesterday and today the director called me. I wasn't really surprised because my main concern was how dependent he is on me and how much he loves being home. Today, there was a woman who looked like me visiting another resident and he thought she was me and…
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Turning Corners and Crossing Bridges
Belated Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! I remain so grateful for this group, the life I’ve had with my DW, and even for parts of the life I still have with her. With that, the holiday was difficult as she turned another corner. Her stepdaughter and family were here, which was so nice on one hand. On the other, my DW asked me…
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Family Visit
Our beautiful son, daughter-in-law and two young grandchildren are visiting next week. Staying elsewhere but I'm a stressed wreck already. Our son and wife are the nicest, kindest couple but this situation with his dad (VD and aphasia) is hard for anyone to comprehend, understand and cope with. He knows that his dad is not…
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This poem by Owen Darnell
Most of you have probably read this before. I just read it yesterday for the first time. It brought tears to my eyes
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Mother refusing to go to respite care
Moving my mother into my house was, in retrospect, a terrible decision. Now she won't leave. We've crafted a story that my daughter, who lives across the country, needs my help and I need to go, so she is going to a "hotel" while I am gone. My mother thinks she can stay by herself in my house. I explained that I can't…
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Explaining The Disease To Children
DW was diagnosed EOA two years ago. We have an adopted 9-year-old granddaughter who lives with us. I have tried my best to explain the disease to her, but she doesn’t get it. She resents the time I have to spend with DW. She gets mad at her grandma when grandma asks the same question repeatedly. They argue constantly over…
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invisible fiddling
DH has a new symptom. He is constantly trying to unravel, or remove, or pick off….some unseen thing that is obviously real to him. He says, "I'm just trying to get this apart" or, "Well, I can't find the end of it…". He is not distressed, just constantly busy. Sort of like a knitter unraveling their mistaken work.. I think…
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Just needed to release some sadness
My DH exhibits such extreme changes in stages from day to day. Emotional and mood changes seem to be prominent at times- crying in a restaurant over a change in plans. There is much child like behavior. I have learned how to manage this, however my heart is aching. I can’t seem to not let it shock me each time he enters…
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DH Angry Outbursts are Overwhelming me
My DH was diagnosed back in 2019. In the last 2 years the angry Dementia Monster has been getting stronger. We started him on Anti-psychotics in March and it was great for two months. We then increased his dosage in June. Yesterday and today have been extraordinarily BAD. only a month after the increase in dosage. Has…
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Weight Training in later Alzheimer's
My husband has done weight training for a few years with a trainer. He is now moving into the later stages of This Crappy Disease, and he has begun to shuffle. Should we continue the weight training?
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How long is it safe to leave someone with Stage 6 Moderately Severe Dementia alone?
Hi all, new to the forum, been supporting my mother diagnosed 5 years ago with Alzheimer's. Most of my support has been to help my father, the sole caregiver, take some breaks and figure out next steps, and to increase the contentedness my mother has and decrease her anxiety. I spent half of the last two years off and on…
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Moving Mom to Memory Care
Hello, just needing some help on how in the world we're going to get my mom to go to a memory care facility. My brother has talked to her about it, but she refuses to go. Since my dad passed she has become very attached to her dogs and I have found some MC facilities that accept dogs. I know she would be much happier…
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New to all of this
Hi I'm looking for some support and guidance on dealing with my mother having dementia she was diagnosed with it at the beginning of the year and we're halfway through the year I have watched the person I love the most go from super woman to having to depend on her children now for things that used to be so easy for her. I…