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Seeking Advice: Managing Toilets with Dementia Behaviors
My father has late-stage dementia and is exhibiting challenging behaviors that are making it difficult to maintain our home. He’s been pouring food down the toilets, which has caused clogs and damage. He also removed the bolts from one toilet, breaking the wax seal, and it’s now unusable. He’s fixated on guarding the…
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Convincing a parent to use a walker when you can't reason with them
How can I convince my 89-year-old mother to use a walker in the house if I can't be expected to reason with a dementia patient? She has repeatedly rejected the idea over the phone and says she doesn't need one but my daughter who lives with her is insisting she use one after a fall at home that was scary for both of them.…
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Screams At Night
My DW has now had a few loud screaming events at night. She doesn’t remember if she has had a nightmare, but thinks she has. None of her meds list this as a side effect. Is this another of the joyous things that can come with dementia? Anyone else here experience this and found any solution?
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Seizures? EEG Negative
Hi all--I'm Lia and new to this discussion group. My mother has moderate/advanced Alzheimer's and this spring she started having what seem like very short (abt 30 second?) seizures. She starts breathing hard, her eyes open really wide/roll back, her head slumps forward, she'll usually cry out that she's going to fall, and…
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Taboo subject of divorce
Ater reading others post and knowing my own situation I am just wondering if anyone has considered divorce. I hear and believe it is the disease but also think that no one should be treated the way some are. If we are only staying out of obligation are we doing the right thing. In my situation after giving my wife a last…
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How to get rid of urine smell
My DH's MC room constantly has a urine odor. He changes his wet pants as needed and the aides put them in the open hamper in the bathroom. Laundry gets done once a week and by then the odor is so strong and permeates the room. I just brought home his laundry because I want the room to smell clean for visitors for Father's…
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What is "Quality of Life?"
Definition of Quality: "The standard of something as measured against other things of similar kind." Long story short- My wife was diagnose in 2019 with AZ. At this time she was still lucid and could understand the road that laid before her and me. At the time I asked her, "what are your wishes? What do you want me to do…
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Intrusive thought
I am fairly new here. I've posted here and there in response to other people, but saw a post in the "caring for spouse/partner" section that resonated with me. I was born with a life-threatening disorder, which I have miraculously been able to defy the grim reaper's grasp. I have become a disabled R.N and have watched the…
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Executive functions
my DW has lost a lot of her executive functions. It is my care responsibilities to take care of all decisions. She sometimes demands to know what is going on and i try to explain even though she won’t remember. I use DARE everyday as much as i can and also redirect, but it is a struggle. DARE is Do not ARGUE,REACT or…
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Wandering
Why do they wander. I just can’t figure this out. My DW wandered for the first time about 5 months ago. With the help from local PD, we got her back home safely. Fast forward to this month. No wandering until last week when she left house (while I was showering) and walked about 2 miles until PD found her. Had to be talked…
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Mild Cognitive Impairment
This is my first post. In July 2023 I noted to family that my 81 year-old DW was having significant memory problems. In January 2024 she was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI). I am particularly interested in others who have a LO diagnosed with MCI and for how many years or did it eventually progress to a more…
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Summer is coming and mom has a faulty temperature gauge!
My mother, who has moderate dementia, live with us. She frequently complains that she is very cold, so we make sure she has plenty of layers, but summer is coming, and my house is usually very warm even with the air conditioning on. My mother hates the air conditioner. She’ll complain that she senses a wind and demands we…
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Need Your Input Please
My name is Denise. I am posting this because I really need input for what I am experiencing. My husband is doing what I understand is vocal verbalizing. It has become increasingly loud and more frequent. We often go out with friends as he enjoys that. Unfortunately, it has become almost unbearable for my friends to deal…
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DH home from respite care
Dh is to return home today from a 10 day respite stay at a great place . I am having conflicting feelings and thoughts. I am at some level looking forward to having him at home again and then I wish he could just stay at this memory care place. It is a great place. He participating in all the activities they have and seems…
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How to respond?
A few weeks ago my mom (who has alz and lives in assisted living) had a fit, accused me of starving her, not helping her get food, and treating her badly. She texted my 12yr old that “your mom is treating me like s#^t. I never would have done this to her!” So the next time I was in my mom’s presence I deleted my child’s…
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Long distance caregiver
I am trying to care for my eldest brother who was diagnosed with dementia and June of 2024. And right now it's May 5th of 2025. And it has escalated so quickly I mean the progression of it has really taken off like a wildfire. I live in Tennessee he lives in Ohio and I'm constantly racing to Ohio check on him to make sure…
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100 days and news
After the discussion yesterday about having my DH home for 100 days, today's news is…not ironic, but maybe serendipitous? The hospice nurse visited today and says DH has one to two weeks left based on all the new behavior. I am all over the board. I'm horribly sad, stunned at the end being so near, grateful that he does…
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Rexulti
Has anyone experienced an increase in blood sugar while taking Rexulti ? It is one of the warnings and DW has had increasing readings since she started Rexulti. No other change in meds or diet.
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I'm Hitting My Limit
I am so lost right now and really need to vent. I don't know that I can take the complaints, shadowing and delusions anymore. Perhaps it's because I keep hoping for something back, even though I know my DW can't offer anything back. I feel like a complete failure in this caregiving and wonder what kind of person I am that…
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Selling Mom's Home Using POA When She Seems Lucid
I have three siblings and one lives fifteen minutes away from my mom. I live in another state but manage all her finances and anything else I can to take the load off our sibling who lives locally. When I agreed to be my mom's power of attorney, I naively thought it would only come into play for her finances. However, this…
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Stuck in the middle
My wife has been in MC for a little over a year. Our marriage was not great for the last 23 years but we are still married for 50 years this August. I still feel a commitment to her. How do I move on and have a life while still anchored to the past? I go see her almost every afternoon and some of the staff has become…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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100 days
My DH has been home from Memory Care for 100 days. Early on it was very good. We took walks, snuggled at night, watched TV and sat on the deck watching birds. It has progressed to where he no longer knows me or home, wanders the house talking to people he hallucinates, demands to 'go home' and wants to see his mother. My…
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Female spouse w/young kids looking for mom in similar situation?
I'd love to find a caregiver like myself to exchange texts with, like our own mini support group. This is likely too specific, but ideally it would be a woman whose partner is in the early stages of Alzheimer's (like, very very early stages where most people can't tell) and whose kids are still living at home (our kids are…
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Opinion - What I Learned From a Support Group for ADRD - Cost and Fit Are Key
Choosing the Right Group Therapy for ADRD Caregivers: Why Cost and Fit Matter Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias (ADRD) is an emotional and demanding journey. Many caregivers seek support through group therapy, hoping to find understanding, practical advice, and emotional relief. But…
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Informing others of diagnosis
I was wondering if I should mention to acquaintances that my DH is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes we meet up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time and my DH has gotten to the point where he has very little to say or when he does say something it shows his memory is not normal. I don’t know whether to mention…
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Could the doctor be wrong about disease stage?
The title says it all. I am wondering if the doctor could be wrong about what stage my mom is at. The last time I took her to an appointment she had one of her better days and I didn’t feel like it was indicative of how she normally is. Doctor said she is borderline between “mild” and “moderate” but I think she is…
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Mom is in so much pain
Saw my mom today,she is in so much discomfort and pain. Just grateful I got to kiss, hug and pray with her next to my sister the real hero who is her main caregiver.
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Refusing to go back to MC when we take her out
we have had to take Mom out for various things and aides took her to AL side for events. Today she refused to go back to MC and got really nasty with the staff about it. My brother had to go and get her calmed down. Any tips for getting your LO back to MC when they resist? I see no signs of mis treatment and we visit…
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Anger
My mom, 73, is diabetic, in congestive heart failure, and dementia. She started having memory issues a few years back following diabetic keto acidosis followed by Covid. Her memory has continued to deteriorate and her regular practitioner has diagnosed dementia, she refuses to see a specialist. She has extreme mood swings…