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Hello friends, can I ask the question that some of us have? Why is this so hard?!? All of it. The grief of watching your parent fade away. Six months ago, she couldn't recognize the banana from the apple. Three weeks ago, I started feeding her because she stopped initiating to start eating and she can't tell the difference…

I was diagnosed with mild Alzheimers last month. I told my immediate family members (none of them were surprised). They are incredibly supportive. But I feel like I'm in a pressure cooker. I want to tell others and did tell two lifelong friends. Their responses were not helpful—one said tough diagnosis. She clearly didn't…

Going back to the lawyer tomorrow to sign all of the things. I’m torn between just getting the documents signed and having my Mom rethink the backups. Should something happen to me, medical and financial DPOA goes to my husband (60) and my Mom’s niece (65) jointly. She has not spoken with either of them about this. I have…

Our neurologist asked if I would consider adding 25mg of Zoloft (sertraline, an anti-depresent) to DW's medications to even out some of the high and low spots. I agreed to having the script sent to CostPlus which we use for our pharmacy. I've subsequently performed enough research to understand the side effects. DW is…

Today was my DH 86th birthday. To celebrate, I took cookies to the MC unit and they all sang the birthday song to him. He looked at his cards several times and at his presents…some puzzles…several times. Mostly though he didn't really know what was going on. The aide who walked me out when I left put her arm around me and…

My DH with ALZ asks me forty times a day if I need help with this or that. When I try to give him things to do or answer “yes” to helping me, 9 times out of 10 he cannot do the task. I cannot always predict what is beyond his ability because it goes back and forth. One day he can get me a glass of water. The next day he…

Thanks in advance for your thoughts! My DW is in the early stages. Age 73. She is still mostly independent, drives, shops, attends social gatherings and the such. My stress is that she is now seeing all the Facebook fixes and cures for Alzheimers/Dementia. Of course believes they can cure. She has started ordering meds…

Hi - I'm wondering if someone has had good experience with Duet or any other "companion care" in NYC they can reco. My mom is 77 and diagnosed about a year ago with ALZ. She is stubborn and "presents" as independent, because she still lives alone and has coping skills to take care of herself, but I am noting changes/faster…

My DW is 65 years (6 years my junior) and I'm afraid she is having real difficulties with her memories. I need to get her to agree to an exam, but she won't even discuss it. How do I convince her that getting her help now will make things easier later? BTW: I am the poorest kinda caregiver but I love her too much to not…

A quick DBAT question. Does it need to be administered by a physician or another pro? I printed one and filled it out for my own reasons. If it’s done by a professional would they be asking me anyway? Has anyone ever needed one other than as just a reference to speak to their primary Doctor?

My Dad was a narcissistic man my entire life so far and now he is in the nursing home for PT from a back surgery he had at the end of April. Since his surgery, we have discovered he has had multiple strokes, he has been delirious and he has vascular dementia. The surgery took 8 hours and with all of his other issues such…

My mom diagnosed with Alzheimer's or psychosis with dementia. And Its getting worse.

I would like to take my wife home for about an hour so she can play with our cats. Our home is about 5 minutes from the memory care center. Cathy is in the upper levels of dementia. She can walk okay. The apartment is on the second floor (no elevator). She can walk okay. Please let me know if this is a good idea. On the…

I am usually able to modulate my own feelings and be kind to my DH. But yesterday had an incident of being unkind to him. I feel terrible about it! Does this happen to other caregivers? How can I not feel so guilty about it?

My 83 year old mom has all the symptoms of Alzheimers and her general practioner agrees but she gets so upset about going to see a doctor that she hasn't had any formal testing. My 84 year old father just finished radiation treatments for early stage lung cancer and we will know those results at the end of this month. He…

I am one of 7 children. My mother just passes away 2 months ago, and my dad was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My siblings and I have been trying to care for him by taking turns, but it seems like it's not going to work this way. We all have full time jobs and families. I go back to work in a week and I am stressed that…

Has anyone watched the 2018 movie with Donald Sutherland called Leisure Seeker. It’s about a couple, one with Alzheimer’s and one with cancer that take an RV trip from Boston to Florida for one last time. What is your opinion of it?

Kind of a vent/externalize the experience's effect on my insides so I don't crash— —I'm cooling off a little more today after yesterday's appt with DW's (61) new (mediCAL health plan) neuro. Upside: We got the referral to UCLA (or the submission to the health plan for it)—that's a big deal for us so I'm holding onto that…

My down/ regroup time was when I was making dinner. Ahh! Time for me time to do me! But the past few months DH has been coming into the kitchen every 10 minutes with various excuses but I know looking for his dinner! . At first I asked him to wash the pots I used to prepare dinner - got just a rinse , put to the side and…

New here - Mom has been in MC for a year (this week actually), she still asks when she is going home and her anger and agitation has increased. We did not take her out of the facility for several months following her admission but have done so more recently (breakfast, shops, etc.) but the last two visits she seems to be…

Just curious if anyone has had testing due to the diagnosis of a parent. If so, what kind of testing? Has anyone taken any legal steps should you face the same diagnosis? What would you do differently? I am adamant that I do not want to be cared for by family in the event that I develop Alz. (My Mom, her Mom and my mom’s…

We have made the decision to move my mom to memory care. We can't decide how to tell her. The facility says to just tell her the day she is going. Her cognition is still ok and she'll see this as us "tricking" her. We are considering having a discussion with her about this but we k ow she'll be resistant.....any advice?

I’m scared. Every time I think about it. My mom had dementia and later it turned into Alzheimer’s. Her last 3 years of life was the worse way of living. She cried. Her tears ran down her face but we never heard what was in her mind, even though we all knew she was going through torture. I hate myself for always having…

My husband is in late stage dementia and the regressive changes are happening quickly. Sundowning at around 5 pm is a familiar pattern, and we have come up with some steps that reduce the effects. A new problem — In the morning, we're seeing something like sundowning. He might withdraw, he might get angry, it's a new thing…

I’m a month into my broken ankle and foot and I am so tired. I am still not supposed to weight bear on the cast and since it’s my right foot I can’t drive. Let me just say I am trying every day to be thankful my DH is still able to walk and is NOT incontinent. But still….He does not understand half (or more) of what I say…

About three weeks ago, we moved my mom from Assisted Living to memory care because she was going outside on her own and we were afraid she would wander off. She absolutely hates it memory care and always tells us she wants to go home, which I hear should be expected. To my when he got to her room there was a lady in there…

My DH is in the middle of stage 5. He can care for himself physically but has no executive function or short term memory. He has a friend who will take him to play TopGolf. They are scheduled to go tomorrow but tonight my DH got so confused and upset because he couldn’t understand the plans that he gave up and went to bed…

My DH is in stage 3-4 and seems to not even realize thatI do everything around the house, including the usual cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, managing finances, investments, bill paying, car maintenance, etc. He is not at the stage of needing help with bathing, dressing but he needs help with his medication schedule…

I am new to this site. My significant other (SO), is battling Alzheimer's. I just need to know what I am able to do to make both our lives easier. I feel like I have already lost a lot of the man I married. He has good days and bad days. But, it has taken a toll on us. I am having to do the things he use to do along with…

My 81 yo mom lives in memory care two blocks from me. I go over every day and bring the necessary amount of overnight and daytime diapers for a 24 hour period because otherwise some staff will take her supplies and use them for other residents. I have gone through long stretches where I was cleaning, changing and putting…