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Mother Passed Away/Car Keys
My mother passed away 3-4-25. Father was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s January 2023. He has been is early stage to date. Still takes care of himself, but can’t manage bills laundry or cook. I have 2 sisters. One lives right beside him & helps a lot, but works FT. One lives within 5 blocks, helps after work. I live 2 hrs away,…
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This may be crazy question.. but has anyone ever heard of someone staying in say Stage 4
has anyone ever heard of this ? I’m curious or hoping has anyone just at a say Stage 4-5 and never going further. ????
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Grief and Guilt
My Dad was diagnosed with dementia in 2019. He moved into an ALF when it was no longer safe to drive. He was living there for 3 month then Covid hit, they were basically locked down and he was kept in his apt with no outside stimulation. That's when he began to really decline. At that time he was living an hour away and I…
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Frail Elderly Waiver
If your loved one has a frail and elderly waiver, please tell us what services they get through this program. (Bonus points for Massachusetts). Thank you.
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When do you know it's time for a facility?
Hello. My name is Maria and I'm new to this forum. My mother will be 83 in July and is still living independently in a 2 story townhome with laundry in the basement. She has a companion that comes from 11:30 - 4:30 on weekdays. My sister and I spend time with her every Wednesday evening and on weekends when we can. We are…
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Worried about Mom
My parents have different stages of dementia. My dad, 89, is well situated in a care home under hospice care. He is very easy to take care of since he is totally bed bound at stage 7. My Mom, 84, on the other hand, is going to be a challenge. She has realization that her memory is getting worse and she knows she has…
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Dad won't get out of bed
He has stage 6 Alzheimers, and I received a call that my dad will not get out of bed and refuses to eat anything. Here are a few bullet points describing our situation: He is in an excellent facility. He has 2-3 family visits a week from myself and my brother. Last week I visited him 4 days in a row, including taking him…
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Seroquel use in Alzheimer’s patients
DH is very agitated and having hallucinations. Doc prescribed Seroquel. Researching Mayo Clinic said it should not be used for Alzheimer’s patients. I am confused as it is often recommended. Thanks ! !
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Sibling does not help nor gives support!
I have been a caregiver of my Mom since 2017. Her onset was around age 66. She is now 77 Years. Even before her diagnosis which was offically at 70 years ( I had known she was losing her memory) my twin sister never wanted or even wants today to deal with it in any way. Not only has very minimal contact with our Mom but,…
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Wondering if I need a CELA?
Hoping you all can enlighten me, i need to redo my will and am trying to find an attorney that does estate planning, wills. What can a CELA offer that an estate planning attorney can not? My DH is at home with me, stage 6. Hoping to keep him at home but I’m also investigating MC homes just in case at some point I can not…
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Brussel Sprouts
I have been looking forward and craving brussel sprouts for a few days. It's hard for me to cook in the kitchen as my bf (45yo EOA) likes to be in there with me. I try to ask him to be out of the kitchen while I'm cooking as I don't want him to get hurt. Well, I cut up some baked chicken from Costco and was seasoning my…
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Change in voice
My DH is late stage 6, early 7 and under Hospice care. His vocabulary is mostly word salad but the last week or so his voice is different, sounds like when he has a bad cold, little deeper and a little raspy. Anyone else experienced difference in their voice??
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One parent with ALZ.. one with encepalothopy and rejecting any help.. not sure what to do
So my dad (61) was in the hospital/ rehab nearly 3 months for a bowel perforation and other issues. He is a lifelong alcoholic. During that time, my mother (66) was diagnosed with alzheimers. He discharged himself from the hospital AMA twice now. He does not care (or have the ability to care) about my mom's diagnosis. He…
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What to Look For at MC Facilities
While I'm hoping to not need it soon, I want to get "my ducks in a row." I'll be touring a number of MC facilities within the next couple of weeks. Other than the usual (patient to staff ratios, Med staff, etc.) What red flags should I be looking for? Any questions you wished you asked? Any help or guidance is greatly…
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Anxiety attacks
I have an appointment for my bf (45yo EOA) this Wednesday with his pcp to discuss hospice admittance. Hospice is the quick route to get him into MC. I am having anxiety and hate taking my meds. I know this is the best step for him but when I think of him being there and him feeling alone or remembering me and I'm not…
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End of life?
Me and my brother are both helping to care for my grandad, my nan too and he has carers come in multiple times a day because it's a lot for us to deal with. He's recently stopped breathing, or struggled breathing every day for the last 7-10 days. Breaths every 30-40 seconds and in a lot of pain, he's had care come out for…
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helping my brother with short term memory loss as his guardian
I am at a loss. My brother lost his wife and continued to drink heavily. Became real sick and ended up with dementia/short term memory loss. He was able to gain a little back but I don't know what to do. I took him away from his home because there was no one there to care for him when he left the hospital. My husband I…
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Feeling So Sad 11
Please don’t laugh 🤣 I sat on my phone and cut off my sadness post. Maybe that was a good thing it was enough to break my melancholy. I feel better but it happens quite a bit. My DH often asks who am I? Where do I sleep? Do I have a brother? etc mostly I just happily move on but it got to me today and I felt so very sad.…
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Ten Years
it’s been 10 years since DW’s diagnosis. I used to be active on this site. At times it was a lifesaver. At times I received and gave good testimonies and advice. I may be shallow, but I stopped participating because I couldn’t tolerate those who dominated the discussion boards to proselytize and/or talk to their friends.…
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The struggle with acceptance and clarity about dementia's effects on our lives
What do you think it's about - what makes it feel hard even while in the early phases of dementia when your spouse/partner can still take care of their ADLs and still communicate somewhat? I need help finding words to describe or explain - what is this nebulous sense of enormous change in our lives? It feels seismic even…
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Best music players for people with mid stage dementia
I would like to get my mom some type of device where she could listen to music in her room in the long term care facility. She is in stage 4 of dementia and can operate her phone and other simple devices. I’m not sure what type of device would work best. A radio or some type of streaming device which someone could set up…
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How Long
I'm sitting in the neuropsychologist office, having sat through the first set of questions to my DW for what I imagine will be her last evaluation to get a diagnosis. Like I need one -- she couldn't tell the Dr. what month or day it is, she can't drive or work her phone, and her speech is more halting and her ability to…
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Help help help
I have a pwd that fell in February which caused an L1 compression fracture. She had surgery then went to a skilled nursing facility. When insurance stopped paying and the facility said it was not safe for her to be home alone, I moved her to assisted living. All she wants to do is to go home. The professionals at the…
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A diagnosis that isn't a diagnosis
After all the tests, including a (failed) memory test, full cardiac workup, and MRI, my husband's diagnosis is "Mild Cognitive Impairment with Amnesia". No stage given, no real information about what that means, or any ideas on progression. I was told to keep an eye on things, encourage him to do brain teasers, and follow…
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Recent bedtime problem
We typically have gone to bed sometime between 10 and 11 every night. For a while now he falls asleep most days while we’re watching tv around 9:00-9:30. I try to keep him up a while longer or try to get him to go to bed and he refuses because it’s too early. Now when I wake him later to go to bed, we come to the bedroom…
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I just want to thank all my caring supportive friends
It's so odd that this online community of caring souls is brought together to give one another encouragement and support eventhough we are all going through hell. My friends and family try to understand but only you folks here truly get it. Some days we can be so strong and others we are barely hanging on. I lurked for…
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Gentle, caring DH has become combative - now what?
My sweet DH, 77 yrs old, diagnosed with dementia 14 yrs ago moved to MC in July. Staff loves him due to his gentle demeanor and concern for others. However, he has become more combative when approached for showers, changing clothes and when redirected from doing something that could hurt him or others. Today he hit two…
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Altered taste, hearing and smell
DH is in the early stages and is constantly complaining about things smelling “different” or all his food tastes like crap. He is also complaining of not being able to hear very well. We have had a hearing exam with an audiologist, an ENT, and our primary. They don’t see anything. Is this part of the process? Have any of…
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Dreaming of the future
We spend so much time caring for our demented spouses. Our lives are turned upside down and inside out, being dragged down the rabbit hole with our spouses to "dementia land". Our days look so very different with more work than we can accomplish and little time for ourselves and our needs. My husband is sleeping more these…
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Selling A House
Somehow, my DW and I both manage to own a house here in CA. I have been managing the one that’s a rental, minimally, for the last 3 years or so. Part of the drop in paying closer attention to it is we moved and it’s now 5 hours away. I want to sell to my DWs stepdaughter and husband. It will give us cash for when she needs…