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Stuck in the middle
My wife has been in MC for a little over a year. Our marriage was not great for the last 23 years but we are still married for 50 years this August. I still feel a commitment to her. How do I move on and have a life while still anchored to the past? I go see her almost every afternoon and some of the staff has become…
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New here. Overwhelmed
I’m caring for my dad, 84. He’s at home. Still able to walk, bathe, use the bathroom and dress by himself. He gets so depressed, though. Just hangs his head almost to his chest. He often thinks we are at a home that looks like his, but it isn’t. He is getting more and more assertive when talking to me. I just needed to…
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100 days
My DH has been home from Memory Care for 100 days. Early on it was very good. We took walks, snuggled at night, watched TV and sat on the deck watching birds. It has progressed to where he no longer knows me or home, wanders the house talking to people he hallucinates, demands to 'go home' and wants to see his mother. My…
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Female spouse w/young kids looking for mom in similar situation?
I'd love to find a caregiver like myself to exchange texts with, like our own mini support group. This is likely too specific, but ideally it would be a woman whose partner is in the early stages of Alzheimer's (like, very very early stages where most people can't tell) and whose kids are still living at home (our kids are…
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Opinion - What I Learned From a Support Group for ADRD - Cost and Fit Are Key
Choosing the Right Group Therapy for ADRD Caregivers: Why Cost and Fit Matter Caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s disease or related dementias (ADRD) is an emotional and demanding journey. Many caregivers seek support through group therapy, hoping to find understanding, practical advice, and emotional relief. But…
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Informing others of diagnosis
I was wondering if I should mention to acquaintances that my DH is showing signs of Alzheimer’s. Sometimes we meet up with friends we haven’t seen in a long time and my DH has gotten to the point where he has very little to say or when he does say something it shows his memory is not normal. I don’t know whether to mention…
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Could the doctor be wrong about disease stage?
The title says it all. I am wondering if the doctor could be wrong about what stage my mom is at. The last time I took her to an appointment she had one of her better days and I didn’t feel like it was indicative of how she normally is. Doctor said she is borderline between “mild” and “moderate” but I think she is…
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Mom is in so much pain
Saw my mom today,she is in so much discomfort and pain. Just grateful I got to kiss, hug and pray with her next to my sister the real hero who is her main caregiver.
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Refusing to go back to MC when we take her out
we have had to take Mom out for various things and aides took her to AL side for events. Today she refused to go back to MC and got really nasty with the staff about it. My brother had to go and get her calmed down. Any tips for getting your LO back to MC when they resist? I see no signs of mis treatment and we visit…
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Anger
My mom, 73, is diabetic, in congestive heart failure, and dementia. She started having memory issues a few years back following diabetic keto acidosis followed by Covid. Her memory has continued to deteriorate and her regular practitioner has diagnosed dementia, she refuses to see a specialist. She has extreme mood swings…
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I’m so confused
My husband has been declining physically and I believe, mentally. He used to be so strong, capable, easygoing and sensible. He now can no longer walk with me. Only a few years ago, I had a hard time keeping up with his pace, but now even at a stroll, he lags behind and is always worried about falling. He is not disabled,…
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How to disentangle adult children
This is my second post today b/c I’ve finally built up the courage to once again pour out my heart and soul to you, my anonymous brothers and sisters in caregiving. I’ll just say it: once you think everything is under control, you realize it’s not. I can’t help thinking that I should put DH in MC or NH sooner rather than…
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Help Me.
my name is Denise. I am a care partner to my husband who is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease recently. I find myself getting very impatient with him with his Tourette’s type syndrome weird sounds. I don’t know if anybody else is experiencing this. Would or assistance with how to stay calm. Once again, it’s 2:30 in the…
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Private vs Companion Room
I’ve been touring MC facilities and many offer a choice between private and companion rooms with rates that reflect a higher cost for the private room. I’d always assumed I would just suck it up and pay for the private room because I figured my DH would not be comfortable with a roommate. On a recent tour, the guide made a…
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The Estate Sale
I have been working on moms house since she was diagnosed two years ago. She is a hoarder. It not just piles of news papers that can go in a dumpster. It’s just everything. Because of the dementia I never know what I will find where. I live an hour away and spent the winter sorting through jewelry, greeting cards( she…
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Loneliness of caregiving
Does anyone else struggle with loneliness as a caregiver? I am single with no children and the principal caregiver for my mom. She is in an independent living facility (for now- she is borderline mild/moderate using the 4 stage model). It’s getting harder to connect with her like I used to and I have nobody else in my life…
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Hospice - am sad - some questions
Edited to make it briefer. My LO/PWD is extremely elderly and her dementia has steadily evolved. She is not eating much and drinking less, is sleeping more, and is using a wheelchair more and more. She has lost weight, is more tired and is very fragile. She seems to still know who I am but who can really tell? A couple of…
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Dealing with anger and frustration
I am an only child caring for my 77 year old mom with Alzheimer’s. Not exactly sure what stage she’s in but it’s estimated she’s had it for over 5 years. My mom and I have always had a difficult relationship and I have no patience when because of her short term memory loss she argues with me over things that she says…
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Caregiving Documentary on PBS
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What’s your opinion of Aricept?
My mom was given Aricept by her PCP when she was first diagnosed but was taken off it due to side effects. I know she had blood in her stool but I don’t know what else. The PCP told me that she could have tried again but confessed that at the time she just wasn’t taking it that seriously. We no longer see her. Fast forward…
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My Mom has Dementia and now hates my Father
Hello! I'm new here. My Mom has dementia and directs all her anger at my father. He is a wonderful, patient man that takes care of her everyday (we are currently trying to get her into assisted living). She calls me everyday bashing him about how he takes all her clothes, pushes her around and throws out all her important…
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Sleep walking or hallucinations
My father (74) was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this year. We started him on 2 medications which actually made him more confused and have since taken him off. I’m devastated because he is declining and fast and I can’t understand if this is normal. My main question is he has been sleep talking a lot and will wake up and…
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Recently Admitted Father to MC, and wondering if it gets easier
Hi, I'm pretty new to the discussions here. Last week, my father was taken by ambulance to the hospital due to a heart issue he had at a McDonalds at 6AM. When he was admitted to the hospital, it was obvious to the staff that he should no longer be living alone. I believed he could go on living by himself, thinking that…
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Moving Mom to a Facility
Hello. It has come time to move mom into MC. She has visited quite a few times and enjoys it when we're there. She comments on how lovely and clean it is. As soon as we get in the car to leave I ask "How about living there mom?" Her response is "Live where?" So, my question is…do I tell her at all that we are moving her or…
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In home help
Tomorrow I will be talking with an agency that will provide in home help for my DH so I can do so many needed things that I have been putting on hold since his diagnosis in January. I have been utilizing family and friends to spend time with him when i have appts or do something socially, but some of his needs are more…
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Who is responsible for following up on directives after release from hospital?
It seems I have a new concern each time I visit my mother in MC. Today's question of the day is "Who is responsible to ensure the medical staff and my mom's MC facility follows the orders given for care after someone is released from a hospital?" My sister is POA for everything with mom. (I used to have POA jointly with…
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Bonkers
I’ve been wanting to write but couldn’t muster the energy to frame everything that’s happened since I last posted so I decided I’ll just start in the middle…that takes less focus! My son suggested yesterday that my life would be “ten times easier” if I did not have a dog. He is right. I spend an inordinate amount of time…
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Transistioning to Memory Care/Assisted Living
Hello - my mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia/alzheimer's last spring - but she had been having memory issues for a couple years now. We finally got my dad on board with moving them into an assisted living center in December of last year - he was older and falling quite a bit himself and we felt he needed more care…
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Help and insight
Hi. I apologize if this seems off or redundant, I’m new to a lot of this. My grandfather has Alzheimer’s. It’s pretty bad. My mom lives with him to help and I’m over as much as I can. But lately he’s aggressive and wants to go home. Stating this is not his home. It’s definitely in the sundowners range because it’s usually…
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Why do PWD get so weak so quickly when they get a virus?
My DH has had some off and on symptoms - he vomited at dinner twice - but a full week apart, and has had some loose bowels. On Wednesday he was fine - went out with his companion and played pool, checkers, etc. Then Wednesday night he vomited at dinner again and had diarrhea twice over night. On Thursday morning, his…