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POA financial decisions
I'm the POA/trustee for my parent. The legal documents say that all costs related to care of the person will be paid by the parent. I live out of state. Flying out there is a significant cost for me and flying out as a family is prohibitively expensive. My husband was laid off a few months ago and my job is at risk. Flying…
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Should we visit every time my LO in MC calls and is scared?
I so appreciate this group the ability to ask this question. I am supporting my mom long distance who is supporting her sister (my aunt) who is in memory care for Alzheimer’s. My aunt never married and has no children of her own. My aunt calls my mom several times a day confused about where she is and sounding scared. My…
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Have no support
Once I reached out to family and friends about DH , they avoid me like a disease. Now I am fully isolated and am constantly apologizing for him or arguing with him.
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Becoming a Caregiver
I've heard that individuals can be designated as a paid caregiver, or a care aid. Does anyone have experience with this process? I want to set-up my wife as a care aid, where she checks on my dad (early onset dementia) a few times a week to make sure he is getting his medications right, is eating well, has a clean house,…
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Exhausted By Mood Swings
Hello all. I’m new to the forum. My mom lives with me and was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. Does anyone else deal with what seems like hourly mood swings? One minute she’s fine and knows who I am and the next she thinks I’m someone else and she’s just visiting. It changes so many times during…
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Moved Mom to Assisted Living
Hello, I am new here and just hoping for some suggestions and insight. My mom was diagnosed about 2 years ago. She recently fell and broke her hip. I have been trying to move her for over a year with no success. She is in complete denial and insists that she can take care of herself. She is 89 years old, doesn't drive, and…
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Need to leave right now
I cannot do this anymore Suicidal must take care of myself Any insight
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Agitated Spouse
My wife has Alzheimer’s and on occasion feels that she has appointments (like hair or nails or something like that). Wants to call to cancel appointment. These are places from over 30 years ago. In another state. I try to let make her think I’ve already cancelled the appointment and sometimes thus works. Other times she…
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APS
Today a very nice lady showed up at our door, Adult Protective Services 🙄I knew they were called because my LO drove the car . He took the DMV test, they passed him, much to my dismay, and I sold his car but he wants to drive if it’s just down the street! I’m a hard No, he took her test and got 25 out of 30. Mild cognitive…
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New Member
Hi Everyone! My name is Laurie and my mom is 78 just diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She was a nurse for 50 years and I had been noticing that about 5 years ago it was Xmas day and the whole family was together. I remember her sitting down and watching her grandchildren open gifts and she had that far away look in…
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We can do this!
I know some professional caregivers who say that if they had to do this without time off or vacation time, they would go insane. Yet we who do it 24 hours a day, seven days a week without help or respite, can go on this way for years and years. While watching someone we love deteriorate physically and mentally day by day.…
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This is so damn hard
Sigh. My poor DW. She so much wants to tell me things and express her thoughts and she just cannot say it. Seeing her struggle and trying so hard is just killing me right now. I know it's not rational, but I wish that I could make it all better. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamnit!
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The state investigated last week's incident and says my DH has to move...help
In my last post I told how DH had groped a female resident at his MC. Now the state has stepped in and says he can no longer stay there. The social said she told them they were willing to keep him and wanted to keep him but the state is adament. When I asked her how long we had to find another facility, she said she was…
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Memory Care Facility for Mom
Thank to all who replied to my first post. Great ideas and insights. I do have another question as my family navigates through this . When and if my dad decides mom needs to be moved to a memory care facility , does anyone know if Medicare will cover any of this expenses of this? I am assuming not, but am just trying to…
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Still at home
Hello. I’m reaching out because I’m wondering if you can make a recommendation for me. I need to speak to someone that can help me in managing the situation with my mother’s Alzheimer’s. I mean managing it from a psychological Perspective to benefit her. And me. And my husband. As an example… My mother simply refuses to…
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Reposting...
My 75 year old wife was recently diagnosed with FTD. I am 77 myself and in compromised physical health due to my Vietnam war injuries. We sold our home and moved into a retirement facility which made life less complicated. But the issues I face caring for my wife are almost more than I can manage. I do not dare leave her…
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DH bothering neighbor with small children
DH has now become fixated with a neighbor family with 3 small children. Their house has very open picture windows and he’s walked over there to talk to them, apparently looking in the window and inviting the little ones to come over to our house. He likes people and likes kids and likes to have people come over. He’s…
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One diaper change away
I'm one gross diaper change away from screaming. If I could run away I would. How do others handle this horrible job without throwing up?
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I don’t know what to do!!
My mother will be 70 years old and my sister and I started seeing changes happening with my mom. We thought it was because my our brother passed away at age 38 and threw my mom in a depression. But it’s been four years and my mother‘s behavior is scaring us. She started hearing things seeing things tasting things smelling…
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I’m burned out and don’t know what to do
my DH has undiagnosed dementia and steadfastly refuses to see his doctor. This has been going on for more than three years. DH is 75 years old and is healthy except for his memory problems. My son comes over three nights a week to support me but he works full time so I’m pretty much on my own. I can’t hire a caregiver…
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Moving mom to a Memory Care sooner rather than later?
I had asked earlier about trying to make the right decision on when put to my mom intoa memory care facility. A lot of replies stated the sooner the better. Can someone elaborate on that? Why is sooner better? Thank you
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Adult teenager
I barely survived raising my own kids.....now my husband with Alzimers has become a defiant teenager. I am not wired to deal with this!!! Been a really bad day in my household. God give me strength!
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She is gone
My lovely, wonderful, brilliant, public spirited wife died yesterday. She was 73. and had had Alzheimer's for 15 years. I described our journey in these pages and the end was peaceful. I held her hand as her breathing went shallower and shallower and finally stopped . Our two daughters were with us. She was as lovely as…
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Violent spouse with dementia
My D husband gets agitated and so do I and we argue all the time. When I think I am helping I am just aggravating him even more. Just today put on pants backwards and refused to change them He pushed me away and I fell. Lesson learned, let him fail, try to leave for good but tied financially Any one can tell me how to…
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Proof of dementia for MC
Do I have to document that my spouse has dementia to put him in MC facility
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My family needs suggestions
My 83 Yr mother was diagnosed about 4 years ago. She was slowly progressing . My dad who is 88 takes care of her and they still live my childhood home . Dad recently said he needed help with mom. We found a caregiver to come 3 times a week and helps with laundry , cooking and bathing for mom . We thought all was going…
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Moving mom this week
I am moving my mom to memory care this week and it is causing an extreme amount of anxiety. She lives with my brother who does not give her the care she needs and who is not on board with this decision at all. I cannot take care of her full time so although she is at about a 2 (I would say 3) caregiving level, I have…
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Thank You! And looking for ideas...
My siblings and I are caring for our mother. She has had Alzheimer's for a few years, but although I am learning so much in this forum (Thanks to all of you!!), I don't know what stage she is in. Recently our Dad has been hospitalized following a severe stroke and we see lots of rapid changes in our mom. We have home help…
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Keeps wanting to go get hair cut
My husband had his hair cut two weeks ago and keeps saying he needs a haircut, should I just let him go again? I remind him that he just went but he doesn't believe me
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Alzheimer’s and stomach issues
Hello all, My mother continues to battle constipation, nausea, and gas on and off. Her appetite has definitely decreased, although she was never a big eater to begin with. We continue to encourage fluids and she eats mostly high fiber foods, but she is still having these issues more than not. I also give her Metamucil…