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PWD over-estimating their abilities - any strategies for coping?
My 94 yo mother was diagnosed with dementia last July. She is in stage 4. She lives in a CCRC. She's been there 6 years in a cottage living independently. Now we have a succession of aides coming in for various tasks, like medication management and general supervision. She complained about that a lot at first, but seems to…
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So tired of this
I am having trouble caring any longer. I have two LOs with dementia. Both are is assisted living (together). One is my mother. I’m okay with her. She’s sweet and easy to care for. The bigger issue for me is my sister. She’s a complainer, always has been. I do feel for her, but I never expected or wanted to be her…
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Follow the bouncing ball
MIL is in MC with dementia. She was in Hospice but was discharged because she had stabilized and was doing fairly well. Now MC asked us to bring Hospice back. Because MIL is declining at a rapid rate. MC cited mobility problems, loss of appetite and severe confusion. I have seen all of this myself. (No UTI) Two days and a…
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Time for the move out of her home...but she's a smoker...plus I'm not sure how to pay for it...
I know it's time for my mom to either move to a memory care center, or move in with me. I live 2 hours from her. She has been doing well on her own, but in the past week her memory and verbal ability has taken a a downhill turn. Her house is getting dirty and she's not bathing. Everything is tidy and she is neatly coifed,…
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Getting Up and sleeping More
Hi, my mum has alzheimers, was daignosed 3 years ago roughly. I have posted in my mum and dad before. When we eat now she gets up literally every 30 seconds and wanders about and my dad says she does the same at night, its driving him mad. She also sleeps a lot during the day which would explain the walking at night. Any…
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FTD Group
Hi - @GG06 started a group for FTD caregivers. Sharing the link under the general caregiver board in case you don't look at the spouse board. https://alzconnected.org/group/28-ftd
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I do not think mom was ever happy, could there be a link?
I believe any answer to my question could never have a scientific basis or ever be proved or disproved, but sometimes I just wonder if my mother's overall unhappy status with her life might have any connection to her current dementia. Plenty of times my mother could be cheerful, happy, sociable, and funny. She has had…
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Off topic: pneumonia in dogs associated with kennels and group settings like daycare
For the dog lovers among us, the Washington Post had an article yesterday about a brewing outbreak of respiratory illness in dogs that is highly fatal and unresponsive to treatment (probably viral but they are not sure yet). It's showing up in group settings like kennels and daycare, and can start with a cough like the…
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Simple Universal Remote
I am looking for a simple, large button, remote control that handles the TV, Cable box, and sound bar. Mom is still in the milder dementia days and finds two remotes too difficult to remember. Unfortunately the remotes I'm finding by Googleing only control two things not three. I was hoping people in the group can…
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I'm asking a question but she thinks I'm giving orders..
That's what I think is happening. I ask..."are you ready to go to bed?" She says, "I guess." She doesn't sound thrilled but she goes upstairs. I get that a lot and I sometimes think she does the "I guess" or shrugs her shoulders because she thinks she's being ordered to do something. I'm asking, not ordering & I try to use…
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Thankful
This is a bit early, but the granddaughters put me in the mood. They do this on their kitchen window every year. I personally am grateful--to be alive, to have support of family, friends, this forum.
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Thinking someone is 2 different people
So my mom has been doing this thing. It started with her granddaughter (who she is very close with) and now me. Over a year ago she began thinking there were two Mayas (her granddaughter) - one older, one young. I figured it was because she remembers Maya as very young and now she’s a young woman. She would regularly ask…
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Mother with early onset Alzheimer’s
Hi everyone! I’m here for support through this hard to wrap my head around diagnosis. My mother is only 62 and has been diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. She has been living alone and has been doing ok as far as I know. She had been repeating herself but nothing else was alarming keeping her from living…
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Finding support group for the person with dementia
There seem to be numerous in-person support groups for caregivers, but I have not found an in-person support group for the people who have dementia. My mother recently received a dementia diagnosis. I think she might benefit from discussing her feelings with others who are going through this. If you or the person you care…
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Rosalynn Carter
Rosalynn Carter, former First Lady, passed away this morning. She was age 96 and was diagnosed with dementia.
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NY Times: Dying Broke: The Financial Drain of Long-Term Care
There's a good series of 4 articles in the New York Times. Gifted shared (for 30 days) article for one of them is here The title and summary: Facing Financial Ruin as Costs Soar for Elder Care: The United States has no coherent system for providing long-term care, leading many who are aging to struggle to stay independent…
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NPH and Dementia not specified
Hi I just posted this on the for a Parent forum. I’m trying to get more information, so I’m trying to post the link here as well. Thank you and I hope you can all find a few moments of peace this Sunday! https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67132/nph-and-dementia-unspecified#latest
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Personal hygiene
Visited my l/o today in nursing home, she mentioned after running her tongue over her teeth that they felt dirty. She is on hospice. Should I push it with the facility to have her brush her teeth?
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Making lifestyle changes in anticipation of cognitive decline
Does it make sense to attempt to make changes in lifestyle very early on in the cognitive decline process? This is in anticipation, as opposed to doing so when required or necessary. Example: Take over responsibilities for paying bills, home cleaning and maintenance, etc. Why? Let's say you start to take over paying bills…
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For better or worse, I'm back
Just wanted to pop on and give an update on the goings ons with the family since I know a few on here are familiar enough with me and it's been a few months since I've posted. Mom's now getting help from Hospice. She's mostly only taking fluids and doesn't eat solids in any real capacity. She can still ambulate but she…
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Article - I took care of my mother...
Just thought I would share - this is something we can relate to... https://www.yahoo.com/news/took-care-mother-until-she-163222186.html
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Concern About a Caregiver
A dear friend who lives many miles away from me is caring for her husband with dementia at home. Both are in their early 80s. I believe she's experiencing serious burnout. I want to help but am not sure what to do. She's not eating well and is losing quite a bit of weight, has been avoiding talking by phone for a month or…
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Finally - a decent day at memory care
Peggy had a good day. One good day. There were moments when it looked like things were going to go to hell in a hand basket, but then things calmed down. We were listening to '80s music and that song "Kiss" by Prince came on. Both of us are big Prince fans, so I got us chair dancing to Kiss. Peggy was keeping a beat! I…
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Yall's thoughts or experiences on a move from AL to MC
My mother moved from an IL community to AL at a completely different facility at the end of September. She showed a steep and rapid decline end of July, beginning of August. No UTI. The week before her move, she wandered for the first (and to this day only) time. That temporarily jeopardized her chance to move to the AL…
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From the NYT: Coping with Anger as a Family Caregiver
The NYT is knocking it out of the park with content about aging and caregiving this month. It's worth a look. I'm almost out of gifted articles but thought this was worth sharing. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/09/well/family/caregivers-anger-illness.html?unlocked_article_code=1.-Uw.CHma.afsCRSpQdyPs&smid=url-share
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NY Times guest opinion essay on paradox of PWD and advanced directives
The NY Times has an interesting article about advanced directives and PWD. Whose wishes ought to be honored 1) the pre-dementia person who wrote the directive, or 2) the current PWD? (the shared gift article link is valid for 30 days)
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Preoccupying a PWD with YouTube and other ideas
I found that preoccupying a PWD with some nostalgic shows from YouTube is a good way to keep a PWD calm or out of trouble. Some things I've discovered: Walking tours videos - may show places they lived in, or reminisce about. They can run quite long - like an hour or so. Compendium of news and events from past years. I was…
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How to be a friend to someone with dementia
Hi all, New to the forum, although not to the illness, as we walked this journey with my dad several years ago. What would you suggest as resources for people in an independent senior living campus, who have a friend showing signs of dementia (repetitive questions, forgetting what to do next in a card game, not wanting to…
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hospice, meds, changes, etc.
Hi y'all. Just checking in and updating on the progression of things. I'm positive my dad (83, general dementia diagnosis) is transitioning to a new stage. Sleeping more, shorter attention span, eating less. He doesn't chit-chat with me like he was before. Things moved quickly with our switch to the new PCP & health group.…
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Calling the hotline- know what to ask for
Hey all, I just called the hotline after feeling very nervous and unsure if I should call. The person who answered was friendly and all, but was going to just give me a list of facilities and a referral to the area agency on aging, which is info I already have from web searches. It wasn't until I broke down and told him I…