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When to stop "other" medical treatments?
My EO sister recently went to the dentist and needs 5 teeth pulled. She is progressing rather quickly. Her dentist suggested dentures. Can she really handle that? When is it ok to say stop? She won't know how to care for them, much less to use them. Thoughts?
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Brother with dementia and behavioral issues
Hi, my brother has early stage dementia (I am his POA) and he just recently got removed from his memory care nursing home due to some bad sexual behaviors. He is currently in the hospital (been there for 2 months) awaiting another placement which is very difficult. Has any one here had this same issue and what kind of help…
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The Legend of the Lost Dentures , not now , but soon we can hope
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So many questions! Ups and downs, rapid decline, toileting issues, when to move....
Hi all, My 82 yo mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers just a few months ago. We moved her into assisted living a year and a half ago with "mild cognitive impairment." In the last month, we have seen a significant decline. She was prescribed Aricept about 6 weeks ago by her neurologist and the rapid decline started shortly…
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From the NYT: The Only People Who Understand What a Caregiver Goes Through
An honest appraisal of the experience of dementia caregiving and a local program that help. This site even gets a shout-out. Below, a gifted link. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/11/health/dementia-caregivers-mentoring.html?unlocked_article_code=1.90w.hOMo.o833mDhBJXOj&smid=url-share
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From the NYT: Dementia/Mental Illness
I thought this was an interesting article. Below a gifted link. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/08/well/mind/mental-illness-depression-dementia.html?unlocked_article_code=1.9Ew.cthV.s96Pa3drjQ8b&smid=url-share
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/11/23
CARE FOR OTHERS IS CARE FOR THE LORD! Matthew 25:31-40 New Living Translation The Final Judgment 31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd…
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Hallucinations
Hi All. My mother is in the midst of a drastic decline over the last 3-4 months from mild to moderate dementia (Alzheimer's). She's had plans to 'track down' or visit her deceased parents a lot recently and I use my judgement in those moments as to whether the truth or therapeutic fibbing would be more comforting for her.…
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Ex roomate who now lives with family but visits is showing signs of Dementia/Alzheimers
My ex-roomate is 68 and showing signs of either Dementia/Alzheimers. He had a cardiac problem about a year ago and finally after a year his heart issues are stabilizing. He no longer has A-fib, wears a heart monitor, but just recently got his HBP under control. I started noticing the memory issues after his cardiac event a…
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Mother insisting on having credit cards back & otherwise controlling her life (and mine!)
I am at wits' end once again. When my mother moved to AL about 4 months ago, she left her credit and debit cards and checkbook with me, along with her state-issued ID. I took them when we ate out or went to the store so that she could pay, and she returned them to me. This worked well for around two months. Since then, she…
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California- Teacher looking into FMLA, stat leave, using my sick time
Hi everyone, I'm in California- work at Long Beach Unified School District. On the off-chance someone here has been through this- I'm trying to navigate being able to have time off work to help my mom. I was told I have 5 days/school year to help a family member. Well, that's been used. I have plenty of sick time, but I am…
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Struggling as a caregiver mom with dementia
I’ve been my mom’s person going on 6 years now. She started out being diagnosed with cardiac heart failure and now stage III kidney failure but the dementia seems to be the hardest. She lives alone just a few blocks from my house but I work everyday so I can’t keep an eye on her constantly. I do have a nanny camera set up.…
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When to tell others of diagnosis
My husband was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this past week! It was confirmed with MRI, EEG, and Lumbar puncture. He’s been having symptoms for a couple of years, but it’s been getting worse over the past 6 months. My parents have even noticed the changes, and I’ve talked with them about it. But since the diagnosis, my…
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Daycare and the holidays
This is probably a weird question, but if anyone knows, it'll be someone here. Do you give holiday gifts to the staff at an adult day program? I know you would if it were childcare.
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Dysphagia - Anyone beat this
Hello, My mom is 91 and has ALZ they say late-stage, but my mom is lucid, alert, doesn't wander etc. My mom is very self-aware and not on any head meds. She is taking no medicines under doctor's care. Thing is, her dysphagia has gotten much, much worse lately. We have a barium test coming up but I'm really concerned about…
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Dad prepared for end of life
My dad with dementia has been wanting to visit the cemetery that he will be buried. He said he feels he is dying and wants to see his burial plot. So I drove my mom and dad to the cemetery and my dad was satisfied with the visit. Is this a premonition that he knows he is dying? Is he getting prepared? If he is, I hope he…
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Adjusting to the decline & hospice
Hi everyone, we have a nurse practitioner coming to the house next Friday and then the week after that we'll be having a virtual visit with his new physician. I've also been in contact with a hospice/homecare group for about the entire time he's been home. She checks in on how he's doing, and she recommended this new…
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Major Turmoil
She found out her drivers licence was no longer valid by registered letter. she is in distress all alone in her apartment won’t let us in , she blames all her kids and now grandkids , she believe we orchestrated the whole thing , we can’t reason that it was the doctor who sent the form to the driving bureau. she does not…
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Insane Turmoil
Hopefully someone has dealt with something similar. My wife's 92yo grandmother and 64 year old uncle (her son who always lived with her) both have dementia and his memory and comprehension are worse than hers his memory is about 5-15 minutes depending on what it is. Long story short we got guardianship over grandma and…
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Unsure of facility
What do you do when you're not sure of the facility your loved one is in? It gets decent online reviews, but she is entering late stage dementia and is constantly being sent off to the hospital? For various reasons. Touched another resident, non-med compliant, tripped....every other day it's something. She has moments of…
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Good finger foods
Hello. I've recently noticed my father is eating way less, and was assuming his appetite has decreased. However, after watching him closer I think he no longer knows how to use utensils. He does well feeding himself foods with his hands. He also has bad arthritis in his fingers so some foods are more difficult and he ends…
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Its been a minute...Update
Hello, all you wonderful people. Though Im sure you don't feel so wonderful. But don't forget, you are. There are so few people on the planet, that can do what you're doing. Keep it up. I'm on the other side now. However, I'm not the perfect example, yet. It's been only 143 days since my mom left. The whole time I cared…
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I'm burnt
I was listening to a guilty pleasure goth band I like (Ashbury Heights - if they were a mainstream band, they'd be Abba), and the lyric "On the worst of days I'm a burned out candle" hit home. That would be me, the burned out candle. I've always tended to love my work, so burn out hasn't been a thing for me in the past.…
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Won't do this again
My partner got both a flu shot and the covid booster yesterday, and when i got to her MC today about noon she was in bad shape-confused, shaking, hurting all over, and she'd had diarrhea during the night. Appears to have been too much for her system to give them simultaneously. She slept all afternoon-some better when i…
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Persistent Hallucination?
I'm not even sure what to call it. Peggy has a frequent, recurring hallucination of The Lady. When Peggy refers to The Lady you can hear the capital letters just in the way Peggy brings her up. This hallucination is really upsetting for Peggy. The Lady is always going to do something "bad." Obviously there's no one there.…
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Mom is unhappy, but well cared for
Dear Mom has Alzheimer’s. I estimate Stage 5. My dad is her primary caregiver. I am the back-up hands on caregiver. We all live in the same house since mom was discharged from the rehab hospital in late September. Mom was in the rehab hospital bc she fell and broke her leg/hip. Home Health is providing occupational therapy…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/1/23
ALL MY HEART Matthew 22:37 New Living Translation 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ TODAY’S VITAMIN When we love God with all our heart, soul and mind, it means we put Him first in our lives. Nothing is more important than spending time with Him in…
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One step forward , ten step back !
Guardianship process is still underway .. Protection Mandate in Canada last month was rather smooth, she started Risperidone .25mg once a day it seemed to calm her paranoia, but now looks like it is wearing off..doctor will increase the dosage The geriatric doctor who did all the testing has advised the Driving Bureau by…
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Destroying Things
I care for my mother-in-law and she spends a lot of time destroying things. Tearing things apart (especially anything made of paper or cardboard) and writing on things (marble coasters, artwork, kitchen tools, anything), cutting things up (the corners of furniture). I have no idea what to do. I don’t give her a hard time…
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Why the PWD cannot handle Questions
I’ve been reading that PWD cannot handle questions. I can see this in my DH. He does not know how to respond or says something that is not true. It’s a really astounding thing b/c it cuts off so much of the verbal communication you’d normal have & highlights the PWD’s passivity and disability/dependency. I’m just…