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Naomi Feil has passed
Naomi Feil has been an advocate for persons with dementia for many years. She instituted The Validation Method. Many of us have learned from her. Iris
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Stubborn
Hi. I only posted 1x previously and your help was great. Perhaps someone can help with this. My LO has VD and is in mid stage. He has always been stubborn but now much worse. Recent Dr appointment Dec28. Dr said no more driving. (He had a collision in the garage and damaged back wall and his truck) . He still insists on…
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It is finished.
Mom passed away today, about four hours ago, surrounded by family. Just wanted to pop on quick to mention... I'll probably be scouring the forum for things about the "eighth stage" with any spare time I have. Thank you to all who have helped my family by sharing your knowledge with me. Good night. -CWHAT
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Your PWD Can't Do Anything!
I have cognitive impairment and I can do less than fifty percent of what I used to be able to do. I see many posts enumerating tasks that the PWD can't do. A PWD can do much less than I can do, much less. They misuse things, lose things, and break things. They need failure-free activities. It is hard to accept but it is…
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Incontinence questions
Hello everybody, Inam to strung out to read and scroll, so please help me. 1. Does urinary incontinence always preceed bowels? 2. Can urinary incontinence appear to have dark brownish edges on the sheets? My LO, who's terribly over extended and stressed out awoke this morning and greeted me with, " darcy, I pooped my bed.…
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Moved discussion
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Tried to explain to DW what’s going on!
I had talk with DW about what’s going on and reasons for her memory loss , confusion and depression, thought went well when brought up 2 weeks later she looked at me like I had two heads. So so much for explaining this illness.
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Alzheimer's sister gets aggressive
I'm living with and caring for my 68 yo sister. She's probably stage 6. I know not to argue but what do I do when I need to get her out of her dirty Depends/clothes? She isn't able to follow instructions but she won't let me help her. I can't physically force her, of course. She has a habit of pulling down her pants in…
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MC and right fit
Hello Everyone, I just got off the phone with the Director of the MC that my LO's likely to go to. I asked how they determine whether assisted living community or MC community portion of their facility is the right fit for a PWD. She indicated a visiting nurse comes to the home for a mini test and self reported (!)…
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communicating with Memory Care Staff
My husband is in a new memory care facility. I know there is a period of adjustment for him and for the staff. But I want to be a good advocate for him as he will not ask for help on his own. How do I approach the staff with requests without feeling like I am a needy wife who is going to constantly ask for something to be…
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Am I expecting too much? Home health aides
We've had agency aides coming in for a couple of months now. We went through a few at the beginning because the aides sent really didn't know how to work with PWDs. We finally got a gentleman who was great with my husband. But he's become quite erratic. He often comes late and missed a few days mid-december (one where he…
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Clinical Trial?
Just received a phone call about two clinical trials that DH seems to be eligible for. Apparently (will call neurologist tomorrow- office closed now) his neurologist gave his name as a candidate for the trial. He had done a previous clinical trial that only involved him giving blood so I guess that indicated a willingness…
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New caregiver group
Hello. Bill recently posted some incredibly useful suggestions. It's not always easy to find older posts. Since this forum is hard to navigate at times and the search function is a little awkward, I thought I'd try creating a group to capture the information regularly shared with new caregivers. I added some sites and…
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Late stage/seventh stage care
I'm fairly sure mom's completely in the last stage now, no longer straddling six and seven. I'm trying to find resources on what exactly her care needs are for this stage in life because it's vastly different than anything I've been through before. I have tried some web searches but they all seem rather vague and general…
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7 A’s of Dementia
Sharing— Thanks to Iris’ mention in another thread, I went looking for more info on the 7As and I like the linked article below. This is a helpful explanation I had not run across yet. I see some things in the section on Altered Perception that I had been describing as random hallucinations. The article helps me identify…
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Peggy was accepted into hospice in late November
I have so many mixed feelings about this, but overall I think it's been good for Peggy (so far). It's all a little overwhelming so I haven't posted about it until now. I now know why people here who have called on hospice love them so much. These people are amazing. What prompted me to call them and get Peggy evaluated is…
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Getting overnight caregiver
We've been trying to take shifts watching mom overnight to make sure she doesn't slide out of bed or get stuck in the railings on the hospital bed. Thankfully she hasn't had any issue since being in the new bed and with us watching. We're still not getting enough sleep ourselves and it's starting to impact our job…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 1/1/24
CAREGIVERS SET THEIR HEARTS ON LOVE AND CARE FOR THE HELPLESS Isaiah 1:16-17 New Living Translation 16 Wash yourselves and be clean! Get your sins out of my sight. Give up your evil ways. 17 Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows. * HOLY SPIRIT HELP…
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Pernicious Anemia now Alz.
Has anyone else had a family member that has Pernicious Anemia and now has Alz also?
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Fork in the Road
Since the journey of sole caregiver began I have been dreaming, thinking, planning for the next chapter. I've tried to stay in the moment, live each day at a time but since my injury on 11/6/23 (see previous post) I feel that staying is more harmful than leaving. In 2019 I put my things in storage and moved back to a place…
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How to handle early onset
My SIL was just diagnosed earlier this month with Early Onset Alzheimer's. How do you handle it when they are convinced that they aren't having any issues. I am helping her and my BIL. She gets angry if we contradict her. I had to sneak a note to her dr how things really are. She's only 51 and has 13 year old twins. She…
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Sharing the joys...
Beginning to pack away holiday decoration today. My plan...small chunks at a time. I left the room and returned a few moments later where my LO was happily decorating (with the items Id just taken down). Her joy at getting the favorite pieces out and placing them around the room and laughing at the silly ones melted my…
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Confusion and Stress when I am not here
Hello, I am new to this website so hopefully I'm in the right place. My husband is still mild to moderate state of Alzheimers and also has Vascular Dementia. This past year I have still been able to get away for a week-end or an over night trip to see friends but the last couple of times I've done this my husband gets very…
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LO doesn't want to be touched
My mom doesn't like anyone touching her anymore. She will allow a hug, but doesn't initiate contact anymore. If anyone reaches for her or touches her, whether to help or just casual contact (even if it's accidental) she gets aggravated. Is this part of the brain misfiring/not working that she has become so sensitive to…
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From the NYT: What to Know About Home Care Services
From the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/02/health/home-care-explainer.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.Xfui.eXjqg47V3QA_&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share This should be a gifted link.
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From the NYT: Extra Fees Drive Assisted-Living Profits
From the NYT. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/19/health/long-term-care-assisted-living.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.ejCD.hyM4R6MVFs1M&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share This is a gifted link.
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From the NYT: Desperate Families Search for Affordable Home Care
From the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/02/health/home-health-care-aide-labor.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.qWG5.9IgwlCFAFuZt&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share The link should be a gifted one.
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Getting emotional at MC visit
I visited my mom (stage 7 AD) at MC today. She didn’t have a sweater on, which she usually does, and when I went to ask a staff member if they could get her a sweater I could barely get the words out—I burst into tears, just overwhelmed by it all. The staff thought I was crying about the sweater. They were very sweet but I…
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Mother is not sleeping well
I’m just curious if this is kind of normal for dementia. She has been the last month or so not sleeping great. She had already not slept to well before but it’s getting worse. She does have sleep apnea and uses her machine, but last night she was getting confused with it and not using it like she usually does. She…
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Shoplifting
Today I caught my mom shoplifting- she is 84 with mixed type dementia- any suggestions on how to deal with this?