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LO doesn't want to be touched
My mom doesn't like anyone touching her anymore. She will allow a hug, but doesn't initiate contact anymore. If anyone reaches for her or touches her, whether to help or just casual contact (even if it's accidental) she gets aggravated. Is this part of the brain misfiring/not working that she has become so sensitive to…
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From the NYT: What to Know About Home Care Services
From the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/02/health/home-care-explainer.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.Xfui.eXjqg47V3QA_&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share This should be a gifted link.
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From the NYT: Extra Fees Drive Assisted-Living Profits
From the NYT. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/19/health/long-term-care-assisted-living.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.ejCD.hyM4R6MVFs1M&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share This is a gifted link.
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From the NYT: Desperate Families Search for Affordable Home Care
From the NYT: https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/02/health/home-health-care-aide-labor.html?unlocked_article_code=1.JE0.qWG5.9IgwlCFAFuZt&hpgrp=ar-abar&smid=url-share The link should be a gifted one.
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Getting emotional at MC visit
I visited my mom (stage 7 AD) at MC today. She didn’t have a sweater on, which she usually does, and when I went to ask a staff member if they could get her a sweater I could barely get the words out—I burst into tears, just overwhelmed by it all. The staff thought I was crying about the sweater. They were very sweet but I…
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Mother is not sleeping well
I’m just curious if this is kind of normal for dementia. She has been the last month or so not sleeping great. She had already not slept to well before but it’s getting worse. She does have sleep apnea and uses her machine, but last night she was getting confused with it and not using it like she usually does. She…
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Shoplifting
Today I caught my mom shoplifting- she is 84 with mixed type dementia- any suggestions on how to deal with this?
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New here and grateful for finding you all
I am caring for my LO in her home, unexpectedly, since late October. I live half a country away. My LO will be moving to MC within the next month or so. I've been learning lots and am grateful to be able to be with her on this troubling vulnerable journey. We are both scared. I am falling apart and my LO doesn't recognize…
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Victoria
Just hoping you are well, haven't seen you posting for a while.
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QBC and all those who have lost a loved one this year
I am ashamed to say that i forgot about your son's death until you mentioned it on another thread. Those first holidays without our loved one can really sting, and i am thinking of you and all of us who are in similar circumstances. QBC im glad your surgery is behind you and that you are doing well i hope? Blessings to all…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 12/16/23
CHRISTMAS REMINDS US WE ARE LOVED, BLESSED AND SAVED! Genesis 22:15-18 New Living Translation 15 Then the angel of the Lord called again to Abraham from heaven. 16 “This is what the Lord says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that 17 I will certainly…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 12/23/23
Great Verses About the Messiah Isaiah 9:6-7 New International Version 6 For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no…
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Medications stop working - help
My DH has dementia with behaviors (likely Alz) and has been on various medications for the past 9 months to control aggression and high anxiety. Most recently seroquel, which I thought was working, but seems to not be doing the trick anymore. He is up to 50 mg am, 50 mg mid day and 25 evening. Also 50 mg Zoloft at night.…
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My Journey is over
DH died on Nov. 24th and yesterday I had the Mass for him and the burial. Several of my family members were here flying in from distant states or driving for 8 hrs or more. As I posted after his death, he had been in Memory Care for 15 months. He died a peaceful death and I had just seen him 11 hrs before. Even though he…
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Trying to guess what PWD is looking for.
Does this happen? PWD goes to look for something. Can be during meal, or anytime, and starts opening drawers, 'fridge, cupboard, etc. I ask "What are you looking for?", but PWD says "don't worry, I'll find it", but often fails and can get increasingly frustrated. So I end up trying to guess, get it and show it (let's say I…
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New Realization - it is Stage 7
Forum mates, I have been amazed but glad that Stage 6 seemed to be such a plateau for my DH. What a bittersweet thing to be pleased about, right? Such is our lot. But after years of saying we are in 6 () and one of its various sub-stages, the last couple of weeks have brought a shift. Ironically, it is eating related, just…
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Fall Lift Assist Devices
My husband has been falling lately at home and it is hard for me to get him up. I have been able to except for two days ago and had to call EMT's. Has anyone used a portable power lift like this to assist?
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How to hold a conversation with a relative who has dementia?
I have a relative who was first diagnosed with dementia a few years ago and over the last few years I have noticed it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a two way conversations with her. I feel awkward about asking too many questions as I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable and she is quick to hang up the…
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Repeating the same story
My brother is in an assisted living facility and I provide in-person care 2 or 3 times a week for about 3 hours each visit, and talk on the phone daily. He repeats the same stories every time we talk (nearly word for word). For example, he will say "did you know they found salt on Mercury (slight pause) who cares!!!" Other…
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Short book that helps those who don't understand the personal aspects of dementia
Hello all, One of the things I've noticed is that people 'outside' the dementia world, who have never been affected by it, truly struggle to understand what caregivers struggle with. I've had too many people come to wrong conclusions because they don't understand what it's like to live with someone who is suffering. This…
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Attribute behavioral symptoms to disease - one drawback
While I agree that it's best to attribute behavioral symptoms to AD [1], and makes it for both the caregiver and the PWD's well being, since you do not take it personally, and I sense one potential drawback. By treating behavior solely as a disease symptom, one starts to lose seeing the PWD as a person you remember and…
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verbally abrasive client
I met a new client today, I noticed she seemed very lost and uncomfortable. She talks in her sleeps and in fact just sleeps very poorly. She has called me so many terrible names, things i dont feel comfortable even typing out. While shes in and out of sleep shes constantly saying very crass statements and words that i am…
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I'm confused and don't know what to do
Mom was diagnosed about 4 years ago. Since her diagnosis her cognitive and memory abilities have only declined slightly - but her physical condition has progressed to a level so severe that do not understand how her cognition/memory seems to remain unaffected. It makes me question her diagnosis to some degree - but…
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Wandering
lead article this morning in the Washington post on the number of people who wander away from AL and NC facilities. Hopefully this is a free link not behind a paywall…
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tearjerker worth looking up
fwiw Willie Nelson's 90th birthday concert aired on CBS tonight.. Roseanne Cash sang with Kris Kristofferson. Worth a look--and a tear or two.
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tearjerker worth looking up
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Phone calls. Lots and lots of phone calls.
Hi all. My 87yo Dad has mid-stage Alzheimer's/vascular dementia. Solidly stage 5 on the Reisberg scale. He's in a well-regarded and decent AL facility. He suffers from boredom, and also has memory loss and confusion. This produces some low level anxiety. This, in turn, seems to result in phone calls to me. 14 phone calls…
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Bed Wetting
I put DH to bed last night in a Depends pull up with a Depends guard inside & a NorthShore GoSupreme pullup over the Depends. This morning the bed & Depends were soaked but the NorthShore was dry. I always use a pad with 2 pairs of pullups & this situation has happened several times. He has 2 bottles of water 12oz each by…
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Holidays in MC
This is our first holiday season with MIL in MC. Should I be doing something (money) for the staff? They get low pay and cruddy benefits and yet most do an amazing job and truly care. If I should, how do I include the people I rarely see such as night staff? I’m not particularly interested in thanking the management team…
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a checklist for keeping household safe and predictable
I find a checklist handy for safety and also for avoiding surprises that may confuse a PWD. While each person differs and some things may matter less as one progresses and gets confused more, here are a few examples that may make things easier. Maybe you can adapt it to how you set up a household. 1) I check plugs and…