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My Journey is over
DH died on Nov. 24th and yesterday I had the Mass for him and the burial. Several of my family members were here flying in from distant states or driving for 8 hrs or more. As I posted after his death, he had been in Memory Care for 15 months. He died a peaceful death and I had just seen him 11 hrs before. Even though he…
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Trying to guess what PWD is looking for.
Does this happen? PWD goes to look for something. Can be during meal, or anytime, and starts opening drawers, 'fridge, cupboard, etc. I ask "What are you looking for?", but PWD says "don't worry, I'll find it", but often fails and can get increasingly frustrated. So I end up trying to guess, get it and show it (let's say I…
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New Realization - it is Stage 7
Forum mates, I have been amazed but glad that Stage 6 seemed to be such a plateau for my DH. What a bittersweet thing to be pleased about, right? Such is our lot. But after years of saying we are in 6 () and one of its various sub-stages, the last couple of weeks have brought a shift. Ironically, it is eating related, just…
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Fall Lift Assist Devices
My husband has been falling lately at home and it is hard for me to get him up. I have been able to except for two days ago and had to call EMT's. Has anyone used a portable power lift like this to assist?
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How to hold a conversation with a relative who has dementia?
I have a relative who was first diagnosed with dementia a few years ago and over the last few years I have noticed it is becoming increasingly difficult to maintain a two way conversations with her. I feel awkward about asking too many questions as I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable and she is quick to hang up the…
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Repeating the same story
My brother is in an assisted living facility and I provide in-person care 2 or 3 times a week for about 3 hours each visit, and talk on the phone daily. He repeats the same stories every time we talk (nearly word for word). For example, he will say "did you know they found salt on Mercury (slight pause) who cares!!!" Other…
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Short book that helps those who don't understand the personal aspects of dementia
Hello all, One of the things I've noticed is that people 'outside' the dementia world, who have never been affected by it, truly struggle to understand what caregivers struggle with. I've had too many people come to wrong conclusions because they don't understand what it's like to live with someone who is suffering. This…
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Attribute behavioral symptoms to disease - one drawback
While I agree that it's best to attribute behavioral symptoms to AD [1], and makes it for both the caregiver and the PWD's well being, since you do not take it personally, and I sense one potential drawback. By treating behavior solely as a disease symptom, one starts to lose seeing the PWD as a person you remember and…
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verbally abrasive client
I met a new client today, I noticed she seemed very lost and uncomfortable. She talks in her sleeps and in fact just sleeps very poorly. She has called me so many terrible names, things i dont feel comfortable even typing out. While shes in and out of sleep shes constantly saying very crass statements and words that i am…
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I'm confused and don't know what to do
Mom was diagnosed about 4 years ago. Since her diagnosis her cognitive and memory abilities have only declined slightly - but her physical condition has progressed to a level so severe that do not understand how her cognition/memory seems to remain unaffected. It makes me question her diagnosis to some degree - but…
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Wandering
lead article this morning in the Washington post on the number of people who wander away from AL and NC facilities. Hopefully this is a free link not behind a paywall…
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tearjerker worth looking up
fwiw Willie Nelson's 90th birthday concert aired on CBS tonight.. Roseanne Cash sang with Kris Kristofferson. Worth a look--and a tear or two.
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tearjerker worth looking up
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Phone calls. Lots and lots of phone calls.
Hi all. My 87yo Dad has mid-stage Alzheimer's/vascular dementia. Solidly stage 5 on the Reisberg scale. He's in a well-regarded and decent AL facility. He suffers from boredom, and also has memory loss and confusion. This produces some low level anxiety. This, in turn, seems to result in phone calls to me. 14 phone calls…
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Bed Wetting
I put DH to bed last night in a Depends pull up with a Depends guard inside & a NorthShore GoSupreme pullup over the Depends. This morning the bed & Depends were soaked but the NorthShore was dry. I always use a pad with 2 pairs of pullups & this situation has happened several times. He has 2 bottles of water 12oz each by…
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Holidays in MC
This is our first holiday season with MIL in MC. Should I be doing something (money) for the staff? They get low pay and cruddy benefits and yet most do an amazing job and truly care. If I should, how do I include the people I rarely see such as night staff? I’m not particularly interested in thanking the management team…
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a checklist for keeping household safe and predictable
I find a checklist handy for safety and also for avoiding surprises that may confuse a PWD. While each person differs and some things may matter less as one progresses and gets confused more, here are a few examples that may make things easier. Maybe you can adapt it to how you set up a household. 1) I check plugs and…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/27/23
THE LORD, THE GOOD SHEPHERD Ezekiel 34:15-16 New Living Translation 15 I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. 16 I will search for my lost ones who strayed away, and I will bring them safely home again. I will bandage the injured and strengthen the weak... JESUS,…
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That’s how we roll
Too funny - at least that’s how I’m spinning it. MIL went to the ER yesterday after a fall (she keeps forgetting she can’t just get out of her wheelchair), so we spent a couple of hours together. No broken bones or other problems, but she does have a UTI. Her first in recent years. I was surprised by the UTI because she’s…
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Going Along With Delusions?
My 88 yr old Grandma is suffering from very stressful delusions. She believes her neighbor stole her (imaginary) puppies and she wants to confront them. I have been trying to deter and/or distract her for days now, but it’s getting almost impossible. She won’t let it go and it is causing her a lot of grief. I told her it…
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Does the unawareness of deficits ever change?
Mom (84) diagnosed with Alzheimer's a year ago. My best guess is she is somewhere between stages 5 and 6 on the DBAT scale. I recognize now that she has been completely unaware of her deficits for at least 2-3 years. Does the anosognosia ever end? Will she move beyond it; or am I stuck with this person who insists that she…
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Sibling does not help nor gives support!
I have been a caregiver of my Mom since 2017. Her onset was around age 66. She is now 77 Years. Even before her diagnosis which was offically at 70 years ( I had known she was losing her memory) my twin sister never wanted or even wants today to deal with it in any way. Not only has very minimal contact with our Mom but,…
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Advanced Care Planning Guide via Michael Ellenbogen
This guide looks like it contains much valuable information: We would like to share that one of the resources available through the Public Health Center of Excellence on Dementia Caregiving, A Guide on Advanced Care Planning Resources: For People Living with Dementia and Their Care Partners has been recently updated! To…
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SdianeL
Just thinking of you and hoping your treatment is going okay. And that your DH is adapting.
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Starting diagnosis process
Hello, my 91 year old dad has been showing signs of confusion and memory loss for about a year now. A few months ago he fell and had to be in the hospital and rehab. The fall has caused issues with his kidneys and heart. We elected to move him to an assisted living facility. He is completely wheelchair bound and a major…
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Update my surgery - Mom’s fall
My knee replacement surgery was a week ago yesterday. I had my second PT session today. I’m cleared to walk unassisted inside our house ( it’s a ranch style, so no stairs needed). Still have to use a walker outside. I tried to use a cane in therapy but I wasn’t coordinated enough to actually use the cane for support. That…
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seeking advice, updates, met with private duty nursing/caregiving
Hi everyone. I'm back in my dad's "good graces" -- I know he gets jealous/upset when he thinks my mom is spending time with anyone, so I was eventually going to be the target of his ire. I gave him some space and have slowly been getting back into the usual swing of things. I've had a contact with a homecare/private duty…
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Dizzy and uti, just my luck
Not having a good weekend. Since late last night yesterday I've been extremely dizzy and unsteady. After not keeping down my oatmeal and a slice of bread this morning/afternoon, I went to the walk-in clinic and they said I had a uti and are running a culture on it. They gave me meds for the nausea/dizziness and…
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Antipsychotics do they last ?
Seems like a miracle has happen , Mother is no longer fabulating, no longer angry, no longer outbusting, no longer hanging up the phone on us, no longer accusing us of ruining her life. she says she decided to be happy , she sounds like she is on a high !! why the sudden shift? the doctor did increase her dosage of…
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How to Deal With Imagined People
I am new to the group. My dear friend has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimers. She is constantly talking about Rick and his daughter (imagined people) who come in and take things, move things and put poison in her water. How would you recommend addressing this?