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Concern About a Caregiver
A dear friend who lives many miles away from me is caring for her husband with dementia at home. Both are in their early 80s. I believe she's experiencing serious burnout. I want to help but am not sure what to do. She's not eating well and is losing quite a bit of weight, has been avoiding talking by phone for a month or…
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Finally - a decent day at memory care
Peggy had a good day. One good day. There were moments when it looked like things were going to go to hell in a hand basket, but then things calmed down. We were listening to '80s music and that song "Kiss" by Prince came on. Both of us are big Prince fans, so I got us chair dancing to Kiss. Peggy was keeping a beat! I…
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Yall's thoughts or experiences on a move from AL to MC
My mother moved from an IL community to AL at a completely different facility at the end of September. She showed a steep and rapid decline end of July, beginning of August. No UTI. The week before her move, she wandered for the first (and to this day only) time. That temporarily jeopardized her chance to move to the AL…
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From the NYT: Coping with Anger as a Family Caregiver
The NYT is knocking it out of the park with content about aging and caregiving this month. It's worth a look. I'm almost out of gifted articles but thought this was worth sharing. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/09/well/family/caregivers-anger-illness.html?unlocked_article_code=1.-Uw.CHma.afsCRSpQdyPs&smid=url-share
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NY Times guest opinion essay on paradox of PWD and advanced directives
The NY Times has an interesting article about advanced directives and PWD. Whose wishes ought to be honored 1) the pre-dementia person who wrote the directive, or 2) the current PWD? (the shared gift article link is valid for 30 days)
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Preoccupying a PWD with YouTube and other ideas
I found that preoccupying a PWD with some nostalgic shows from YouTube is a good way to keep a PWD calm or out of trouble. Some things I've discovered: Walking tours videos - may show places they lived in, or reminisce about. They can run quite long - like an hour or so. Compendium of news and events from past years. I was…
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How to be a friend to someone with dementia
Hi all, New to the forum, although not to the illness, as we walked this journey with my dad several years ago. What would you suggest as resources for people in an independent senior living campus, who have a friend showing signs of dementia (repetitive questions, forgetting what to do next in a card game, not wanting to…
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hospice, meds, changes, etc.
Hi y'all. Just checking in and updating on the progression of things. I'm positive my dad (83, general dementia diagnosis) is transitioning to a new stage. Sleeping more, shorter attention span, eating less. He doesn't chit-chat with me like he was before. Things moved quickly with our switch to the new PCP & health group.…
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Calling the hotline- know what to ask for
Hey all, I just called the hotline after feeling very nervous and unsure if I should call. The person who answered was friendly and all, but was going to just give me a list of facilities and a referral to the area agency on aging, which is info I already have from web searches. It wasn't until I broke down and told him I…
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When to stop "other" medical treatments?
My EO sister recently went to the dentist and needs 5 teeth pulled. She is progressing rather quickly. Her dentist suggested dentures. Can she really handle that? When is it ok to say stop? She won't know how to care for them, much less to use them. Thoughts?
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Brother with dementia and behavioral issues
Hi, my brother has early stage dementia (I am his POA) and he just recently got removed from his memory care nursing home due to some bad sexual behaviors. He is currently in the hospital (been there for 2 months) awaiting another placement which is very difficult. Has any one here had this same issue and what kind of help…
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The Legend of the Lost Dentures , not now , but soon we can hope
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So many questions! Ups and downs, rapid decline, toileting issues, when to move....
Hi all, My 82 yo mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers just a few months ago. We moved her into assisted living a year and a half ago with "mild cognitive impairment." In the last month, we have seen a significant decline. She was prescribed Aricept about 6 weeks ago by her neurologist and the rapid decline started shortly…
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From the NYT: The Only People Who Understand What a Caregiver Goes Through
An honest appraisal of the experience of dementia caregiving and a local program that help. This site even gets a shout-out. Below, a gifted link. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/11/health/dementia-caregivers-mentoring.html?unlocked_article_code=1.90w.hOMo.o833mDhBJXOj&smid=url-share
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From the NYT: Dementia/Mental Illness
I thought this was an interesting article. Below a gifted link. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/08/well/mind/mental-illness-depression-dementia.html?unlocked_article_code=1.9Ew.cthV.s96Pa3drjQ8b&smid=url-share
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/11/23
CARE FOR OTHERS IS CARE FOR THE LORD! Matthew 25:31-40 New Living Translation The Final Judgment 31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd…
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Hallucinations
Hi All. My mother is in the midst of a drastic decline over the last 3-4 months from mild to moderate dementia (Alzheimer's). She's had plans to 'track down' or visit her deceased parents a lot recently and I use my judgement in those moments as to whether the truth or therapeutic fibbing would be more comforting for her.…
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Ex roomate who now lives with family but visits is showing signs of Dementia/Alzheimers
My ex-roomate is 68 and showing signs of either Dementia/Alzheimers. He had a cardiac problem about a year ago and finally after a year his heart issues are stabilizing. He no longer has A-fib, wears a heart monitor, but just recently got his HBP under control. I started noticing the memory issues after his cardiac event a…
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Mother insisting on having credit cards back & otherwise controlling her life (and mine!)
I am at wits' end once again. When my mother moved to AL about 4 months ago, she left her credit and debit cards and checkbook with me, along with her state-issued ID. I took them when we ate out or went to the store so that she could pay, and she returned them to me. This worked well for around two months. Since then, she…
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California- Teacher looking into FMLA, stat leave, using my sick time
Hi everyone, I'm in California- work at Long Beach Unified School District. On the off-chance someone here has been through this- I'm trying to navigate being able to have time off work to help my mom. I was told I have 5 days/school year to help a family member. Well, that's been used. I have plenty of sick time, but I am…
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Struggling as a caregiver mom with dementia
I’ve been my mom’s person going on 6 years now. She started out being diagnosed with cardiac heart failure and now stage III kidney failure but the dementia seems to be the hardest. She lives alone just a few blocks from my house but I work everyday so I can’t keep an eye on her constantly. I do have a nanny camera set up.…
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When to tell others of diagnosis
My husband was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this past week! It was confirmed with MRI, EEG, and Lumbar puncture. He’s been having symptoms for a couple of years, but it’s been getting worse over the past 6 months. My parents have even noticed the changes, and I’ve talked with them about it. But since the diagnosis, my…
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Daycare and the holidays
This is probably a weird question, but if anyone knows, it'll be someone here. Do you give holiday gifts to the staff at an adult day program? I know you would if it were childcare.
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Dysphagia - Anyone beat this
Hello, My mom is 91 and has ALZ they say late-stage, but my mom is lucid, alert, doesn't wander etc. My mom is very self-aware and not on any head meds. She is taking no medicines under doctor's care. Thing is, her dysphagia has gotten much, much worse lately. We have a barium test coming up but I'm really concerned about…
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Dad prepared for end of life
My dad with dementia has been wanting to visit the cemetery that he will be buried. He said he feels he is dying and wants to see his burial plot. So I drove my mom and dad to the cemetery and my dad was satisfied with the visit. Is this a premonition that he knows he is dying? Is he getting prepared? If he is, I hope he…
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Adjusting to the decline & hospice
Hi everyone, we have a nurse practitioner coming to the house next Friday and then the week after that we'll be having a virtual visit with his new physician. I've also been in contact with a hospice/homecare group for about the entire time he's been home. She checks in on how he's doing, and she recommended this new…
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Major Turmoil
She found out her drivers licence was no longer valid by registered letter. she is in distress all alone in her apartment won’t let us in , she blames all her kids and now grandkids , she believe we orchestrated the whole thing , we can’t reason that it was the doctor who sent the form to the driving bureau. she does not…
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Insane Turmoil
Hopefully someone has dealt with something similar. My wife's 92yo grandmother and 64 year old uncle (her son who always lived with her) both have dementia and his memory and comprehension are worse than hers his memory is about 5-15 minutes depending on what it is. Long story short we got guardianship over grandma and…
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Unsure of facility
What do you do when you're not sure of the facility your loved one is in? It gets decent online reviews, but she is entering late stage dementia and is constantly being sent off to the hospital? For various reasons. Touched another resident, non-med compliant, tripped....every other day it's something. She has moments of…
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Good finger foods
Hello. I've recently noticed my father is eating way less, and was assuming his appetite has decreased. However, after watching him closer I think he no longer knows how to use utensils. He does well feeding himself foods with his hands. He also has bad arthritis in his fingers so some foods are more difficult and he ends…