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Misleading and manipulating husband
My mother, best friend, lives with my step father. Im 3 hours from her but would visit often or have her here with me and the kids for months at a time and she was always so much better and always happy. My siblings live by me but rarely bother to even visit. I've been paying her bills, fixing passwords and doing all the…
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Is mom declining or drugged?
Mom (vascular dementia) was having hallucinations, anxiety and agitation - which seems to have eased up since she started Depakote and Exelon. The problem is now every time I visit her at memory care she is either sitting up straight in a chair asleep, leaning over her walker sound asleep or sitting in a corner staring.…
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Medical Records and bills - how to keep track
I want to set up some program to keep track of medical bills and medical records. Any good easy ones out there? My Dad has Alz, and I think I may have it also. I am 61. I would love to set up some program so our family can all learn to help and use the same system for everybody.
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Just needing to talk..
I have cared for and lived with my Aunt for 4 years now. Taking care of her needs while she battles this. I have seen every stage. She is now in the late stages of Alzheimer's. I am married and have 2 wonderful kids that did not deserve this, but have lived through this with me. My mom and my sisters are around but never…
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How?
My sister has been my mothers companion for several years. I do most of the cleaning, handling of doctor appointments, and finances for both of them. My mom is on hospice, recently the nurse hospice told me she’s worried that my sis can’t handle taking care of my mom because she too is showing signs of dementia. I honestly…
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Advice - Mom in MC and texts, e:mails toxic notes 30+/day
Hi, not sure what I'm looking for but at my wit's end. Placed mom in care facility end of June (med reminders and some care) but she's young, doesn't look like she belongs there with all of the "old people" who tell her she does not belong there. I sold her house b/c she was convinced people were living there, stealing…
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Respite(2)
I’m so tired and worn out that respite by family doesn’t feel like respite. Hired people do what I ask...when they stinking show up. Family do what they think is best. It’s all done in goodness and kindness and caring but it’s too much in too short of a timespan...packing in activities, meaningful moments, projects to help…
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Furious and bereft all at the same time
I just need to be sad and vent. My Father is rapidly declining in MC very far away from his children. We’re taking turns making it out there to be with him, but we’re not wealthy people and it’s very challenging. We have no choice in this as his spouse is living in a different state in my Father’s house and we cannot move…
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Vasculitis and Vascular Dementia running in families?
Hi All, I'm the daughter of a parent with Alzheimer's (my mom.) My mother's sister - my aunt - also had Alzheimer's and passed from complications due to AD. Recently I learned that I may have vasculitis; it's not clear yet and we're still doing testing. My question for the group is about Vascular Dementia and if we know…
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Books for ALZ patients
Hi, I'd welcome book suggestions for Alzheimer patients. My mom is 85 and has been in assisted living for a year now. My dad, who was with her in AL, died of Covid last month. I live in Canada and have not been able to cross the border often to spend time with her. Mom often phones, asking where she is supposed to be and…
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The importance of respite
I haven't managed to take any real time off since ..... um .... 2019? Trying to get on top of my sister's Alzheimer's, the pandemic, work - it all takes a toll, and probably impacts my ability to be a good care giver. Finally, last week, once I was satisfied that she was doing well in memory care, I took a "spa day". In my…
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We're in the final days/hours
Guys...I'm so tired. So very, very tired. Just a heads up that this post is very much me grieving. If you're feeling fragile today, please skip it. We're all juggling enough right now. My mom is peaceful. She is resting well and breathing deeply (if very slowly). She had a fever, but we brought it down. We're doing…
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Pondering the Irony
Just an FYI - I was Lee1992 and changed my user name to MarLee92, just so nobody's to confused. I've posted about my MIL and my LO not being able to accept it. Last night I was thinking of my own widowed mom. 2 years ago she suffered a massive stroke, that was terrible. She was in rehab for 2 months, to learn to walk…
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Neuropsychology Evaluation? First Post
Hello, My mother was fairly recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. We had been waiting months (it had been postponed once due to "insurance issues") for a neuropsychology evaluation which was scheduled for today. Unfortunately, the neurologist's child got sick and it was cancelled at the last moment. -- How important is this…
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Parent refusing care
My mom with EO is refusing to move into assisted living. I brought her to tour a place last week and she threw a fit in the parking lot & the facility said she can’t come back without a psych eval & meds. On the way driving her back to her home she attacked me in the car. I called adult protective services & they said she…
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Went to Court
Wanted to share an update on my father. We went to court this week and unbelievably my sister and me agreed to drop being guardian for my dad and went with a court appointed 3rd party. The good news is two fold, 1) it's a law firm my lawyer knows well and said they'll do great job taking care of my dad's affairs. But, 2)…
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Feeling lost and overwhelmed - New
My 75yo Mother was just diagnosed with stage 4/5 Alzheimer's, everything is happening so fast for us. So many questions and not sure where to find them. I currently for POA of both my Mother and Father, but the doctor said I need to go to court for guardianship of my Mother and both my Dad and Siblings agreed with him. Now…
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Memory care-when to begin visits
My mom was just placed in MC last week. She is 69 and in that part of stage 5 where she's physically still well and ambulatory but very disoriented--confused why she is there and a lot of exit seeking. We were advised to keep visits to a minimum to help her with the transition and I'm in agreement as I know visitors would…
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I new here.
I’m Liz. My 80 y.o. DH was just diagnosed with dementia. He is stage 4/5 out of 7. I’m 18 years younger. I knew he was changing for almost 2 years because I was becoming increasingly annoyed with him and things he was doing. Now he has been diagnosed this month. He also suffers with severe uncontrolled diabetes. Most of…
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1st post, 90 yr old mom thinks my dad still alive
HI, My 90 year old mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. My latest concern is she said yesterday that my dad went into the hospital a few days ago and she wants us to ask the doctors if he can come home for Thanksgiving. How do I respond to that? Do I tell her he died 9 years ago??
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Refusing Bathing in MC
Hi Everyone, mom is now on a twice a week bathing schedule, and has done ok so far. However, this week, she refused both showers. I'm wondering how other MC's handle this. Is there a length of time they allow the resident to refuse, are they always allowed to refuse? I understand its a difficult dilemma for many residents,…
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First post - not sure where to start
My mother (75) has shown increasing signs of dementia over the past 2 years, but it was slow and sporadic. However, during the past 2 months, we have seen a rapid decline in her cognitive abilities. This is a woman who was a powerful top executive, sharp, in-control of all situations, and stubborn-stubborn-stubborn. Both…
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Television, streaming services, and streaming Internet ideas and REVIEWS
Hello. I'm looking for engagement ideas and want any advice you can give. This is for my mom, who is in mid-stage of Alzheimer's. We have had hit-and-miss with various televised programs, streaming service programs (Netflix, Amazon Prime) and Internet streaming videos (YouTube and others). Unlike Siskel and Ebert of the…
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Mom is obsessed about money in memory care
Whenever I visit my mom in memory care she becomes fixated on me bringing her money. Each time I tell her I forgot and will bring it to her next time she erupts that I keep promising to bring her cash but I never do. I try to divert her, change the subject, but she keeps coming back to it. Why don't I bring her money?…
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Advice - Placement issues for LO with EO Alzheimer's & stroke
Hello, My father was diagnosed with EO Alzheimer's in January at the age of 54. Soon after getting his diagnosis, he suffered a major stroke that left deficits on his left side and he is no longer able to stand on his own. We noticed the stroke also progressed his disease immensely. He was placed in a nursing facility…
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Irrevocable Family Trust
My parents put some of their assets in an irrevocable trust. If my father wants to go to assisted living will the trust be protected. On the other hand too would we be able to get the assets back. If you have assets do you have more of a choice to be accepted from Assisted living? They still have some assets. I am also…
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Won't Give Up the iPhone and Accusing Everyone of Stealing
Hi everyone! My grandmother (73) has been diagnosed with middle to late stage Alz. Her body is very capable, except for her memory. She lives in an AL residence currently but is still holding onto her iPhone and she refuses to give it up. However, she constantly calling people multiple times or even calling in the middle…
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Odd situation
Sounds strange but I care for my girlfriend's wife. She was originally diagnosed with Parkinson's 8 years ago then it was determined it was parkinsonism. Progressive super nuclear policy with dementia, her father had lewy body dementia. My problem is her delusions and hallucinations are directed with my daughter it's a…
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Palliative care for LO with dementia?
Hi, I am primary caregiver for my 83 yr old mom with RA and dementia. She moved into our home (husband and me, lots of pets) 3 years ago when she was having difficulty continuing on in her AL apartment. She has continued to decline and in the last 3 months has had severe falls landing/injuries to her head. It’s really…
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Advice for Managing with Sexual Aggression
I was hoping to hear from the folks in the community on what may have worked for your loved one if you've gone through this. Since my father moved into a MC he has unfortunately fallen into a pattern of sexual aggression with the other female residents. Over the last two years, we have tried many different therapeutics but…