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I wish there was more I could do
Yesterday morning, mom started reaching for the ceiling, saying she saw my grandma. She cried for her mommy, demanded to know why someone (God? Us?) didn't tell her, and said she needed saving. She needed to go. We knew we would get here, and hospice warned us that patients can rally and seem so much better right before…
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Boom
Apparently, stepmother hacked my little brother's email account using a time he had logged in on her computer to help her with something. She had an old link and used it to get all our dropbox notes about our father's strange behavior. The attorney ad litem guy now is refusing to meet with us on Thursday. She accuses me of…
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Alleluia!
Met yesterday with my lawyer, sister and her lawyer. Meeting was cordial and no blow up thank God. We all agreed my dad need a guardian, it will be court appointed 3rd party lawyer and their firm. Also, my mom who been living away from my dad for 7 months, will now join him in an AL apartment senior facility. This is big…
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Damaging false narrative, at a loss
Hi new to this forum. My mom has been having signs of dementia with Alzheimer's for a couple of years. For some reason she has latched on to my son (age 10) as the center of a horrible false narrative. She has in her mind that he hit into her and injured her arm. The best I can tell, the boy ran down the hall and smacked a…
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Brand New to the Dementia World
Hello everyone, My siblings and I are very new to this. Our father is 92 and just in the last two weeks, he started showing signs of severe dementia. We saw some memory loss of course but nothing like what we are seeing now. I live pretty far away from him and last saw him in May. I was impressed and proud that he was…
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Doc recommended hospice for dad, but he's not dying?
Our sweet 87 year old father has dementia, and has been living in Memory Care for 5 years. His psych doctor told us that he is now in the last/end stage of dementia. We were a bit surprised to hear this because he is still very mobile, remembers his family and can feed himself (sloppily). He is however, very confused about…
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Sundowner dementia
Hello I'm new to this and thank anyone in advance who takes the time to respond. It can be quite a frightening experience alone. My mother gets very agitated at night. She's very restless. In and out of bed etc. She take quetiapine to help with agitated state. Does anyone have any trick to help settle their loved one or…
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Surgery at stage 6+ ?
Hi All, My mother is late-stage 6+ and living in a memory care nursing home. She's mostly non-ambulatory and her ability to verbalize / communicate is limited. However, she's communicative with her face, hands, eyes - very loving, kind, connected, sweet. Her physical health is fairly robust - eats well, at good weight,…
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Update on my situation(2)
It’s been 28 days since my last update. ( I checked). Although I’ve replied to others’ posts, I’ve been reticent to post about my situation. It just feels odd to do so. But anyway here’s where we are: Mom has a nurse, a physical therapist and a speech and cognitive therapist visiting her at the AL. A social worker has been…
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Reducing the Impact of Dementia in America: A Decadal Survey of the Behavioral and Social Sciences
https://www.nap.edu/read/26175/chapter/1
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Hot of the press form the Milken Institute - Scaling Comprehensive Dementia-Care Models.
https://milkeninstitute.org/report/dementia-care-models-scaling-comprehensive
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Things are going wonky
Mil fell a week ago. It was like a tree falling in the forest. She had her hand on the counter but just went right over, stiff as a board. She had abandoned the walker in her room. She cut her cheekbone on the floor. At first she was very alert and active. Then she slept a lot. Now she’s back to pacing the tiny house. She…
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Out of the shadows...
I've been reading and learning a lot from all of you (Thank you!) and sharing a little. Now, I'm sharing more. Watch out! I really mean "more"! My sister (and only sibling) was diagnosed with AD a little over 4 years ago. Showed signs of something wrong at least 2-3 years before that. She worked as a psychologist and did…
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Refusing to sleep in bed
We recently moved my 86 year old mother from a MCF to a residential care facility and the caretaker said she is refusing to sleep in her bed. She was also not sleeping at night and would just cat nap so her dr. recently prescribed trazadone, which has helped her sleep some. When she was at the MCF and I would visit her,…
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Recently Diagnosed with Alzheimer's
If your loved one was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and is interested in clinical trials or participating in research there is a site you can go to see if you might qualify to participate in a mild Alzheimer's study. www.MildAlzheimersStudy.com
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Emergency Guardianship hearing
We are prepping for a hearing. Looks like we may be subpoening someone to get a doctor to show up and having all friends and family fill out affidavits. Do more affidavits supporting your position help at all? I keep hearing such conflicting information so I guess I'm pretty ancy right now. Hearing is next Monday morning.…
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Quitting the testing process
My mom has been to the first two testing appointments at a senior resource center. The third test is where she meets with the doctor for the first time, and receives her diagnosis. Prior to this testing process, my mom has been happy - very happy - in her home, quietly doing her daily household tasks and sticking to her…
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Paying for MC but having to spend night with Mom
My Mother is in MC, but has become a falling risk. Because of Covid, finding caregivers has been almost impossible so they have 7:1 resident to caregiver ratio, and say they will likely go 8:1. They are requiring that we spend the nights with Mom as they don’t have staff to watch/help her when she gets up and she’s had a…
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Need help/suggestions on what to do with MIL who has obsessive hypersexuality
My 72 MIL with EOAD (diagnosed in 2018 but symptoms starting in 2011) lives in a AD residential living facility. We were recently contacted via a letter that the facility is requesting her removal due to her obsessive inappropriate hypersexuality with another resident. This is the second facility she has resided in the…
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The Worse Day
Yesterday was emotionally traumatic for me and not sure how I'm holding on to my sanity. I'm my 93 year old dementia dad's caregiver. Yesterday when I arrived he right away verbally attacked me and this time accused me of stealing $9K. I tried to talk rationally to discover what bank account and or credit card. So, I could…
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Suggestions for relief from itching from the Exelon patches
My mother has been on Exelon for about 8 months. About 3 months into the prescription she started to complain constantly of itching where the patch was placed. Over the past 5 months I see her often scratching different places on her body - mostly where the patch is or was. Her neurologist recommended a cortisone cream or…
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UTIs every month?? So frustrated.
Hi everyone. I realize that UTIs are a common topic here. But is anyone else's LO experiencing them EVERY month? Its exhausting and sooooo frustrating. My mom would be doing very well if it werent for these stupid UTIs. Its not a hygiene problem. We escort her and help her in the bathroom (we care for her at home). She…
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assisted living to memory care
So my mom had a shaky arm for awhile and said it was nothing for a few years. Then she fell and broke her femur and it came to light that 2 years prior she was diagnosed with parkinsons, and during her hospital stay about her leg, they pulled her drivers license. The state my mom lives in there is a waiver program, there…
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Toileting fallout - parking on the potty and other issues
Seeking some help with our new stage: I have recently just been squeezing into our small bathroom with my DH as he can't be in there alone anymore. After our nightmare stint with balanitis (the things we learn about on this journey!) and poop galore etc of a few weeks ago I just have to weather the wrath of his indignation…
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Dealing with bed sores - afraid I'm screwing this up.
My mom recently was entered into hospice care. We're keeping her at home, but we know we're getting close. She's refusing most food (we can occasionally get her to drink Ensure, but it's hit or miss), and in the last two days she developed bed sores on her bum, right between the cheeks. We have an in-home caretaker on…
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Hawaii
Hoping y’all can give me some suggestions. My Mom and I live together. I work from home every other week. So Mom can be by herself without harm. Im going on a 10 day Hawaiian vacation with my boyfriend in May. Haven’t been away from mom for that long in a long time. I NEED this mentally and emotionally. I won’t give up the…
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Bathing(9)
We would love any advice on bathing tips, our mom was diagnosed this past May, she is 87 and has always been so meticulous about herself etc. If we suggest shower etc. she sometimes becomes angry and will not want to.
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Thank You As My Mother's Journey Comes to an End
Hello all, I'm an only child and I've been caring for my 89 year old mother with VD, emphysema, and myelodyplastic disorder since 2014, first in her home with paid caregivers then in MC, and now in SNF since November 2019. I've done so much learning and lurking on this forum, and the past few days of sitting with my mom…
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Questions about the drugs
I need some advice from people who’ve maybe seen this. I’ll lay out the timeline and see if you all think my plan makes sense. Mil is solid stage 6 and slipping steadily. 1) 3 months ago hospice nurse suggested we discontinue Donepezil and Mementine. 2) We did and she declined. She slept more. 3) 2 months ago we started…
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need advice hubby now has covid
called ambulance yesterday he fell and started peeing blood. While admitting him they did a covid test and it's postive. They never called to let me know found it on the portal and called them, I was shocked as he is homebound but was in the hospital a week and a half ago for an operation. So he tests positive yesterday…