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Mother insisting on having credit cards back & otherwise controlling her life (and mine!)
I am at wits' end once again. When my mother moved to AL about 4 months ago, she left her credit and debit cards and checkbook with me, along with her state-issued ID. I took them when we ate out or went to the store so that she could pay, and she returned them to me. This worked well for around two months. Since then, she…
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California- Teacher looking into FMLA, stat leave, using my sick time
Hi everyone, I'm in California- work at Long Beach Unified School District. On the off-chance someone here has been through this- I'm trying to navigate being able to have time off work to help my mom. I was told I have 5 days/school year to help a family member. Well, that's been used. I have plenty of sick time, but I am…
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Struggling as a caregiver mom with dementia
I’ve been my mom’s person going on 6 years now. She started out being diagnosed with cardiac heart failure and now stage III kidney failure but the dementia seems to be the hardest. She lives alone just a few blocks from my house but I work everyday so I can’t keep an eye on her constantly. I do have a nanny camera set up.…
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When to tell others of diagnosis
My husband was just diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this past week! It was confirmed with MRI, EEG, and Lumbar puncture. He’s been having symptoms for a couple of years, but it’s been getting worse over the past 6 months. My parents have even noticed the changes, and I’ve talked with them about it. But since the diagnosis, my…
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Daycare and the holidays
This is probably a weird question, but if anyone knows, it'll be someone here. Do you give holiday gifts to the staff at an adult day program? I know you would if it were childcare.
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Dysphagia - Anyone beat this
Hello, My mom is 91 and has ALZ they say late-stage, but my mom is lucid, alert, doesn't wander etc. My mom is very self-aware and not on any head meds. She is taking no medicines under doctor's care. Thing is, her dysphagia has gotten much, much worse lately. We have a barium test coming up but I'm really concerned about…
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Dad prepared for end of life
My dad with dementia has been wanting to visit the cemetery that he will be buried. He said he feels he is dying and wants to see his burial plot. So I drove my mom and dad to the cemetery and my dad was satisfied with the visit. Is this a premonition that he knows he is dying? Is he getting prepared? If he is, I hope he…
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Adjusting to the decline & hospice
Hi everyone, we have a nurse practitioner coming to the house next Friday and then the week after that we'll be having a virtual visit with his new physician. I've also been in contact with a hospice/homecare group for about the entire time he's been home. She checks in on how he's doing, and she recommended this new…
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Major Turmoil
She found out her drivers licence was no longer valid by registered letter. she is in distress all alone in her apartment won’t let us in , she blames all her kids and now grandkids , she believe we orchestrated the whole thing , we can’t reason that it was the doctor who sent the form to the driving bureau. she does not…
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Insane Turmoil
Hopefully someone has dealt with something similar. My wife's 92yo grandmother and 64 year old uncle (her son who always lived with her) both have dementia and his memory and comprehension are worse than hers his memory is about 5-15 minutes depending on what it is. Long story short we got guardianship over grandma and…
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Unsure of facility
What do you do when you're not sure of the facility your loved one is in? It gets decent online reviews, but she is entering late stage dementia and is constantly being sent off to the hospital? For various reasons. Touched another resident, non-med compliant, tripped....every other day it's something. She has moments of…
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Good finger foods
Hello. I've recently noticed my father is eating way less, and was assuming his appetite has decreased. However, after watching him closer I think he no longer knows how to use utensils. He does well feeding himself foods with his hands. He also has bad arthritis in his fingers so some foods are more difficult and he ends…
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Its been a minute...Update
Hello, all you wonderful people. Though Im sure you don't feel so wonderful. But don't forget, you are. There are so few people on the planet, that can do what you're doing. Keep it up. I'm on the other side now. However, I'm not the perfect example, yet. It's been only 143 days since my mom left. The whole time I cared…
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I'm burnt
I was listening to a guilty pleasure goth band I like (Ashbury Heights - if they were a mainstream band, they'd be Abba), and the lyric "On the worst of days I'm a burned out candle" hit home. That would be me, the burned out candle. I've always tended to love my work, so burn out hasn't been a thing for me in the past.…
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Won't do this again
My partner got both a flu shot and the covid booster yesterday, and when i got to her MC today about noon she was in bad shape-confused, shaking, hurting all over, and she'd had diarrhea during the night. Appears to have been too much for her system to give them simultaneously. She slept all afternoon-some better when i…
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Persistent Hallucination?
I'm not even sure what to call it. Peggy has a frequent, recurring hallucination of The Lady. When Peggy refers to The Lady you can hear the capital letters just in the way Peggy brings her up. This hallucination is really upsetting for Peggy. The Lady is always going to do something "bad." Obviously there's no one there.…
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Mom is unhappy, but well cared for
Dear Mom has Alzheimer’s. I estimate Stage 5. My dad is her primary caregiver. I am the back-up hands on caregiver. We all live in the same house since mom was discharged from the rehab hospital in late September. Mom was in the rehab hospital bc she fell and broke her leg/hip. Home Health is providing occupational therapy…
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/1/23
ALL MY HEART Matthew 22:37 New Living Translation 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ TODAY’S VITAMIN When we love God with all our heart, soul and mind, it means we put Him first in our lives. Nothing is more important than spending time with Him in…
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One step forward , ten step back !
Guardianship process is still underway .. Protection Mandate in Canada last month was rather smooth, she started Risperidone .25mg once a day it seemed to calm her paranoia, but now looks like it is wearing off..doctor will increase the dosage The geriatric doctor who did all the testing has advised the Driving Bureau by…
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Destroying Things
I care for my mother-in-law and she spends a lot of time destroying things. Tearing things apart (especially anything made of paper or cardboard) and writing on things (marble coasters, artwork, kitchen tools, anything), cutting things up (the corners of furniture). I have no idea what to do. I don’t give her a hard time…
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Why the PWD cannot handle Questions
I’ve been reading that PWD cannot handle questions. I can see this in my DH. He does not know how to respond or says something that is not true. It’s a really astounding thing b/c it cuts off so much of the verbal communication you’d normal have & highlights the PWD’s passivity and disability/dependency. I’m just…
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Green tea study
This interesting study suggests that epigallogatechin (EGGC) in green tea can help breakup tau tangles, which would improve neurotransmissions. https://www.nia.nih.gov/news/study-green-tea-and-other-molecules-uncovers-new-therapeutic-strategy-alzheimers Hyperphosphorylation and nitration can cause tau to aggregate, both of…
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92 Year Old Grandmother (Dementia due to aging) & 63 Year Old Uncle (Frontotemporal Dementia)
My wife and I were recently appointed guardianship of her grandmother as her son whom has lived with her his entire life , he had epilepsy and had a right frontal lobotomy 20 years ago, she is suffering with extreme anosognosia of nothing being wrong with her (CHF,Fibroids, had 1 minor stroke and 2 heart attacks) and that…
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My grandma is too anxious to watch TV that she used to love. Is this because of Alzheimer's?
Thanks a lot for your help in my previous post about my grandma repeating questions. I have a new question and appreciate you sharing your experiences. My grandma used to love watching TV, especially drama series and opera. But she seems to now lose interest. Even if I setup the TV and play one in front of her, she will…
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Not blame PWD, but blame myself for frustration
I'm sure most of you have figured this out, but it was so easy to blame the PWD for behavior. I would get frustrated and say (often to myself) "Why did you mix the salt with the sugar?" or "Why did you unplug the charger?" I realize that I would never think that way if a young child (or even a cat for that matter!) behaves…
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Medication help - Mother forgets she has taken her AM pills and is insistent she needs them (during
Hello! This is my first post here (after joining last year) because I have been able to read all the wonderful advice everyone has given for those who have had questions regarding the care of their loved ones and I have experienced the same things. I now need some advice regarding my mom's medication and how to handle her…
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Just like a shut down my web sites I am shutting down the information I share here
I can not continue to share 3rd party information that I feel would help you all. I have access to the best folks in and always hot off the press. When I thought it would be helpful I shared it with you . But I am really getting tired of being the one that has to defend things here. If someone wants to step up to receive…
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Progressive Aphasia
Is Aphasia similar to Alzheimer's disease in the stages of progression?
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Pros and cons of reminiscing
This article states that reminiscing can be a part of a daily plan. I agree that remembering pleasant parts of the past may bring joy. However, I am afraid that if it reveals people who have passed away, or recalls good things that are no longer here today, it may bring sadness. So I may need to be selective. Does anyone…
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Don’t know if this is funny or terrifying!
So far we’re laughing and just shaking our heads. My husband came to me frustrated, exclaiming that our water heater had quit, with just a towel on. We all know how daunting that news is. I took a few and then went to a sink and tried it. (Meanwhile he’s rushed into the crawl space, a difficult place to repair or replace a…