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@Harshedbuzz
There was a post a couple days ago I wondered if you saw. It was titled "NYC New to this and overwhelmed." The person was looking for advice regarding a parent with Wernicke Korsakoff. I thought you may want to pop in on that thread since your experience is so valuable and unique. Thanks for all your contributions here.
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Adult Day Cares - dumpy? no windows mostly?
Hello ALZ Connected, I'm thinking about ADC and was wondering if they're basically all the same, kind of dumpy looking, either at a low-rent type strip mall or by Autozone (or something like this). While some look nice on the inside, the surrounding neighborhoods these things are in are depressing. I know I wouldn't want…
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Haven't posted in a year - bank account question
Hi All - I haven't posted in more than a year as my MIL no longer lives with us. Incredibly long story short - she had to leave here or my marriage would have ended. DH told his sibs that we had to have relief. Oldest sib stepped up and took MIL and that lasted for a whopping 6 months, then MIL was shipped off to another…
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FIL Delusional in Rehab
Hi, My FIL is in rehab. He has become delusional at night and even though my husband requested a consult and that he be placed on medication (haloperido or quetiapine) they have not. Is it because it is a no restraint facility? Last night he barricaded himself in his bedroom and locked the door. It took hours for the staff…
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New to this community and being a caregiver.
I am new to this forum and would like to connect with others that are going through similar circumstances. I recently became a caregiver for the my sister who has dementia. She is 15 years older than me and we were never that close and we live in different parts of the country. For over 20 years she has become increasingly…
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Dad follows Caregiver around in MC like a puppy
So, I read this article tonight because we find it funny that our dad follows the main caregiver around like a lost puppy in his MC unit. This article explains every stage I've been through with him. I just thought I should share it in case others are dealing with the same behaviors!…
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Thinking about Queen Elizabeth II
Often in our culture we think our children or grandchildren will be there to take care of us in our old age, especially as we are failing. In her case, only her two eldest were able to leave where they were to get to her bedside at her time of need. She had doctors and attendants, but it probably wasn't the same as having…
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Is this what is called sundowner?
Back story, my brother had a lady friend in his apartment complex that like to feed feral cats that were living down in the garage area. She always said she didn't have money to feed them and couldn't go down there because of her bad leg, so my brother bought the food and fed the cats. So anyway today around 4 in the…
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Elder Law Attorney Suggestions in NYC or Long Island?
Hi there, I am looking for a reputable elder law attorney located in either New York City or Long Island to help get POA documents signed by my elderly father. I would greatly appreciate any recommendations from this community. Also, if you've used a elder law lawyer to get POA docs signed in New York State, how much did…
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75 year old father - newly diagnosed Alzheimers/Dementia
Hi All, My 75 year old father was diagnosed last month with Alzheimers and dementia- moderate stage 5 out of 7. I am seeking some general advice as we are all fairly new to this disease but then also if anyone can relate to some of his habits. A few notes: He's a Vietnam Vet. He can semi hold a conversation and is starting…
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Anxiety, paranoia and fixation
My mother lives in an ALF. She still knows routine such as meal times and how to get around in the facility so the staff says she is not ready for total MC just yet. There is nothing she can do for herself other than getting dressed, using her walker and hitting a button on her cell phone. She has lost all processing…
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Newly Diagnosed(5)
My mom was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers. She is 62. She lives alone currently. She's fiercely independent still wants to live alone, she is still doing laundry, bathing, chores, bills, driving etc. She cooks mostly in microwave. She us no longer baking which she always loved. The symptoms are with language-not…
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Re: Test/Experiment
Of course, the test/experiment was a success. I know it's only one day and I will continue the test/experiment. But the fact is, every day for the last week or two, 4 o'clock comes around and its, "Please...I want to go to bed" and Day 1 of this experiment, she didn't mention it once. She did ask why all the lights were on…
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Caregiving when you're their child (Young Adult)
I don't know if this is even the right place, I know I'm the only one willing to take POA for my father (age 70, EO, and was ES in 2020, AD) so I guess that makes me the closest to a caregiver at this point. Thankfully he's only at the stage where he forgets recent conversations, he still knows who he is, where he is, ect…
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Vision care for dementia, need advice
My mom is well into her moderate Alzheimer stage now, still conversant but would have a hard time cooperating with an eye exam. And she's very mobility restricted now, takes only small shuffling steps with a walker. She's been having problems with vision lately, and I wanted to take her to an opthalmologist. The lovely man…
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Unbreakable TV/Remote
Are there an TVs or remotes out there that are unbreakable? Or at least some type of protective shield or case? My mom keeps getting frustrated & angry when she can't get the TV to work & she ends up throwing remotes & breaking them or worse, throwing them at the TV. Thanks!
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Where we are now
So, here we are. Peggy is now later stage 6, and it's been eleven months since I placed her in memory care. There have been no cliff dives since she moved there - thankfully. It's been gentle slow slide downward since the end of last October. I know it's only temporary, and I'm always looking up and over my shoulder for…
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Is it excuses, or does she actually believe the TV and computer aren't working properly?
My mom is saying she must not have paid her cable bill on time and that's why sometimes the TV goes off and she struggles to get it to come back on (there is nothing wrong with the TV). And she has stopped emailing (used to email daily) and says something is wrong with her computer and "it won't let me send links anymore…
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Test/Experiment
I'm about to test the light theory I've learned here. Meaning, my mom starts freaking out when dusk appears outside (lately its 4 o'clock everyday) she starts a little panic even saying she wants to go to bed. So, I'm going to close all the shades and put on some lights. Maybe even all the lights. So she'll think it's…
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Tell LO she has Dementia...or no?
Hi, I'm new here. I could use some advice. We admitted Mom into Memory Care in May following a procedure to remove a cancerous mass from her kidney. She has early/mid stage dementia and is very stubborn and would never have gone willingly so we told her she needed to be there for rehab. She is also still very smart in many…
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FEAR OF SOCIALIZING
My sister, who has mild cognitive impairment, lives in a separate apartment in our independent living retirement community. She has trouble pulling out the words and has little short-term memory but functions well in this environment (with reminders from Amazon Alexa and text messages from me). In fact, she likes the…
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Questioning myself, did I make the wrong decision
I am questioning if I acted to quickly, should I have left him in his apartment after taking him out of the rehab? In other posts I talked about how this all came at me out of the blue. I lived over 400 miles from by brother and when I got the call that he fell and broke his leg. I thought well I will go down and let him…
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A parent in denial, how to help.
I have no idea how to help my parent. She's in denial about needing help or the level of her cognitive ability and memory. Several years ago she was diagnosed with cerebral small vessel disease. After learning more about the disease, I've learned that it is a cause of dementia, which she appears to have. She won't go to…
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helpful book The 36-Hour Day by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins
A nurse recommended this book and I'm now reading it. It helped me with my husband not bathing. Hope it helps someone else.
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Hygiene, esp. bathing
My father refuses to take a shower. All I can do is to make him change his disposable underwear and give him a fresh set of clothes and even that is a challenge. I offered to give him a washcloth GI bath (except for his private parts, told him he can do that); he refused quite angrily. He continues to say "don't worry,…
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Do I keep trying??
My mom is convinced that I stole her keys and money. I live 4 hours away so I can't just stop by on a daily or even weekly basis. about 3 weeks ago she stopped answering my phone calls and text messages - my question is do I keep calling and texting her so she knows that I am thinking about her? Honestly, I don't want to…
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Advice? Stepping in for main caregiver for four days
Hello, I am so happy to find this community. My father, 81 years old, was officially diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease about 1 year ago although he has been showing symptoms for quite some time prior to that. My mother, 79 years old, has been his main caregiver for this time. He is still physically able to care for…
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Any Ideas?
You wonderful people really saved my life a little while back. I'm at a totally different place because of the advice I got here. There really aren't words to describe my gratitude. My mom was manic and crying all the time and paranoid about the children being taken...I was at my end until I was told to re-direct, and I…
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2 Questions: Car / AL for a loner type personality
I previously posted about taking my mother's car keys away and I then came to the conclusion that I needed to just get the car out of sight. It's currently at my son's house, but my mom thinks it's in the shop. I hoped she would forget about the car, but I don't think that's going to happen. She can't remember what she…
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Thank you(13)
I have only posted here a few times, but I read daily. My mother passed away last week. Thank you to everyone on these boards for the support and knowledge given to me on my journey with her. My mother lived alone in a different state for many years, but in 2019 I realized that she needed to not be alone anymore. I moved…