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talk me off the ledge.
My brother got a CD come due and he didn't want it renewed because he said he was going to use it to get out of the jail that he says he is in here. He wants to be free. I told him his car battery had died because it was 8 years old. Now he wants a new battery so he can leave. He won't cash the Cashier check because he…
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Mom Just Passed(1)
What a long and horrible ordeal. Thank you! for your support.
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Not eating, stress, and father issues
Things are getting out of hand over here and no one's sure what we're going to do next. Mom has starting to resist taking her pills and also is barely eating. My younger sister (YS) is having a mental breakdown and our dad is a visual trigger for her so she's looking to move away because dad cannot get a clue. My stress is…
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Medication management(1)
Hi all. I'm just starting this thread so you guys can share how you manage your medication. I read some helpful tips in this article: https://seasonsretirement.com/medication-management-tips-for-older-adults/ which you can follow. If you also have other medication management tips you can share, please feel free to reply to…
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Vacation worries
My husband and I are going out of the country for 11 days soon. My Mom heavily depends on me even though she is in MC facility. I'm her only caregiver outside of MC. I wish I wasn't so anxious about leaving. I know it will help me and my husband to get away. I don't know if I should tell her we are going. She has been in…
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My mom in memory care needs extra assistance. Can you recommend something?
Hi there, My mom is in a memory care assisted living facility. Up until a few weeks ago she was somewhat ambulatory. She needed some assistance sitting and standing but could walk with a walker. Since then she has developed what seems to be a resistant UTI, she is on her third round of antibiotics, and she is not able to…
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Medicaid spend down issue
My LOs are in assisted living (I have two, they went to assisted living at the same time). They were 100% self pay for the first few months, both the facility and I knew they were going to have to go on Medicaid - neither had any assets, other than their small savings accounts. The facility had an employee that promised to…
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Hair washing sink
I couldn’t find what I needed in the archive, asking here: Does anyone wash their LO’s hair outside of the shower or tub? What do you use for a basin? I am looking for something like a hair washing sink found at a salon, but not so big and permanent. My DW showers with my help, but absolutely hates to put her head in the…
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New Study Results In
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 9/26/22
TEMPLE OF HOLY SPIRIT GOD THOUGHT: 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” VICTORY THOUGHT: I respect God’s Spirit in me, so I strive to…
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New Developments in Alzheimer’s Disease Research
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MC and AL costs
We moved my mom in with us and she's been with us for a year and has moderate dementia. We started looking at adult foster homes (weird name for what they are) and a memory facility because my mom is needing more are. No AL as I think she would need more assistance than what is provided. The costs were shocking! 5-10K a…
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Doesn’t want diaper change
My wife has been in diapers for four months. She still takes care of most of her own toileting, but she does still need the diapers. Most of the time she has no problem with me changing her. There are occasions when she refuses but will allow me after a short time. My concern is that someday she will absolutely refuse and…
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Decline in mom's health into what seems to be the end
Here's my story. Since last January I've helped with caregiving for a family member. In May I took over usually caregiving full time but I co-care also with her son, my partner. Her condition varies a lot. Sometimes pretty cognizant and other times totally immobile and incoherent with lots of shades in between. Over the…
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Not doing well.
Mother's bpm is 30. Oxygen is 88. Watching her die. .... Sorry. Correction: BPM 118 O2=88 Respiration 30 This is truly cruel. Only a demon could imagine such torture for a caregiver loved one. I likely said in past few days that my whole thing in life the past two years has been her care. I mau be lost for a while.…
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Get'er done but baby steps
Just wanted to pop on and say a few things. First of all, many many thanks to everyone who has given me support and suggestions in the last few months I've been a member here. I'm glad for your input always. I hope you're doing as well as able. Second, we've got a caregiver in for the days that I'm tending for mom. It's…
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Neuropsych results came in
Some of you may remember I’ve been waiting two months for my step-dads neuropsychology test results. We got them Thursday. Unspecified dementia, early stage 4. Compounded by COPD (anoxia) and mixed anxiety and depression. I think the testing results were affected by his low reading capability. I had actually convinced…
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Daddys no longer the one I knew
So I'll just go right to to this.My father is 73 y/o,I am the oldest of 2 other sisters.I am primarily the one who takes care of financial matters.My Dad has been diagnosed with AZ for about a year and half now.He refuses any sort of meds,in denial of his illness.Latelt he's been destructive,breaking into my mom's room…
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Update and new questions
I haven't posted in a while. Some good news though. It is official. Dad now has a temporary guardian of estate and his person appointed by the court until the permanent hearing in February. Bills will be taken care of, and he is to go to an IME also required by the court. In the last hearing, I was given some new…
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Is there a reason for 94 year old to have testing?
I have been in denial. About a year ago my 93 year old mother was admitted to the hospital due to a fall and the physician informed me that she had dementia. I didn't believe him. Then I went to her house and with her not there started to really notice all the ways I had been enabling her to cope. Notes all over telling…
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From the NYT: Arbitration Has Come to Senior Living. You Don’t Have to Sign Up.
This should be a gifted link>…
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Really hard to deal with stepdad— mom’s caregiver
With my mom’s dementia my stepdad has become a combination of denial and blocking proper care plus pushing all his anger onto me and my sister. We tried for years to be compassionate but after a few years and as she’s declined and his denial and lack of proper care for her has gotten worse (as she worsens and she only gets…
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Selling condo and thinks she will buy another
Hi All, I haven’t been on here for awhile. Just trying to get through the days. My mom has been fairly stable. She has been living with me helping out as I just went through cancer treatment. Now that she thinks her job here is done, she has out her condo up for sale. She believes that she is going to sell and buy again.…
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Should I tell them?
This is my first time posting and its been a difficult journey. My parents have been married for almost 62 years. My father had 2 strokes almost a year ago an has dementia. My mother has AD and was not able to stay in their house by herself. We moved them into an AL about 9 months ago. My mother does not accept her…
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How to Cope With It All?
My father has been in a memory care facility for about 2 months now. As much as he’s adjusting and doing well and getting the care he needs, at times, I struggle with the whole idea of him no longer being at home. I actually see him more now than I did when he was at home because the memory care center is in the same city…
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antidepressants(1)
Just wondering if anyone else has experiences they can share with their PWD on antidepressants. Mom has been in SNF for about 10 months and gets very depressed just about every day. She complains about having nobody to talk to and nothing to do (even though the facility has lots of activities every day). She gets sad about…
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The Way I Proceeded With Mom's Care
Maybe this will help some family members with how to proceed with their loved one's care. Or, maybe you can derive a plan from my experience. My mother lived with my sister as her dementia became very concerning. Mt sister couldn't handle it. My brothers found her a very nice indepenent living facility, and I flew to my…
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Can't get anyone to help us
UPDATE - I reached out to our complex care manager who gave me some places within IL. She also reached out to my mom’s PCP. PCP is now starting a referral process for a Geriatric Psychiatry facility within IL about an hour and a half away. This is GREAT news however my question is how do I actually get her to go…I’m not…
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End of Life Tragedy (My Story)
My mother was declining under the COVID quarantine that restricted her to her assisted living apartment. She was losing weight as well as her mind. I rented a towne house in October 2020 and moved her in with me. Within 8 weeks, 7 of her neighbors at assisted living had died. I am her oldest son, unmarried and retired. I…
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frustrated / angry / alone
I've had to step back -- for my own sanity. Mom hasn't even been diagnosed yet -- how will I possibly make it through this? She absolutely hates me right now -- everything I do. My brother has his head buried in the sand and tells me I'm being dramatic, but he hasn't even seen his mother in 6 months. Mom's mood swings are…