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Reaching the aggressive stage?
Mom's been... off... since Wednesday last week. She spent most of Wednesday being distraught over something and for the most part wouldn't let me get near her, even for hugs. Always acted like I was actively hurting her. I chalked it up to her constipation as I've heard sometimes that causes PWD to be a little different.…
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At the beginning of this terrifying journey
I am at the start of my caregiving journey. My mom was just diagnosed with dementia and possibly Alzheimer's, but no official diagnosis yet until she sees the next specialist. My dad is still alive, but has a lot of health issues as well, and they've just accepted the fact that they need outside help. Meanwhile I am not…
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Two Parents with Alzheimer's - only child as of two years ago
Good afternoon - I am looking for suggestions. I am an only child dealing with both parents having Alzheimer's. I have tried very hard to keep them together but a few months ago, I had to separate them and they are both in different memory care homes. My Dad was becoming increasingly aggressive and I had to have admitted…
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Overwhelmed, confused & need guidance
My DW has been on this downward spiral for over 6 years & I'm feeling overwhelmed- not sure what to do next. I’ve been trying to do everything at home. My DW doesn’t know who I am, can’t stand living in our house & wants to go home but doesn’t know where home is. The delusion of “a girl” coming into our house started out…
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Caregiver Resource Guide link
Here is a link to a guide provided during a recent caregiver webinar. https://lor.nnlm.gov/op/op.Download_Share.php?documentid=4618
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update on Peewee
Saturday night Peewee slid out bed and I couldn't get him off the floor.he laid there for an hour and half. I finally called 911thanks to this site I remembered someone said that an UTI would make him more confused. So a trip to the ER and 4 days in the Hospital we find out Peewee has lung cancer. However we don't know…
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Interviewing additional help
I just interviewed 2 agencies & 1 individual, I didn't like any of them. I am very frustrated, my daughter hasn't been able to help as much as she wants or I need her to because her husband's family keeps pulling her away. She is too nice & doesn't say no. So my brother's wife sent someone she thought would work, she was…
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Holiday staff funds at AL / MC
Hi all, I received an email about the employee holiday donation fund. The facility my mom is in does not allow tipping and so does this instead. What is appropriate? I know the fees for the facility are expensive but this is for the staff (below the director) and I know they work hard and are good to my mom. Thanks for any…
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Think Positive Today 11/19/22
GO TO THOUGHTS FOR CAREGIVERS I know it is almost impossible sometimes to think and be positive. But it actually gives us more energy if we stop those doom and gloom thoughts. They weigh us down and make us sluggish. So, one thing we all can try to find is GO TO THOUGHTS. Anytime you come across an uplifting, encouraging…
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Wants kids to take action
My MIL has auditory hallucinations and is convinced her upstairs neighbor is watching her with secretly hidden cameras and masturbating when she showers and goes to the bathroom. Her kids are at their wits end trying to handle this. Her upstairs neighbor is actually a sweet elderly lady who lives alone. My MIL refuses to…
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Dementia(5)
Is this support group just for relatives or caregivers who have family with Alzheimers? My mother has dementia but her memory is so bad
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Bible Verse to Lift You Up 11/18/22
Hello Friends in Christ, thank you for your comments. They encourage me. Appy, your words are what I needed to hear today. Yes, we walk in God's plan! Hugs to all! Ronnie ROOTED IN CHRIST GOD THOUGHT: Colossians 2:6-7 “So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built…
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Covid and Dementia
My brother became sick from covid in August 2022. He was sick enough to be put into the lical hospital. During his stay, he became very agitated. According to him, the food was terrible, the doctors were crazy, the nurses were awful…..everything there was just terrible. After a few physical and mental evaluations, he was…
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bathroom frequency especially at night
Do you follow LO's nature's call or do you take LO to the bathroom at fixed time, especially at night. If it is fixed time, how often do you take LO? Now it is a disaster at home. Sometime mom says she's not ready to go when I ask her. Sometime she does not call out and wet the bed. Also, feeling bad for asking her wear…
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Now I only drive 1
Yesterday was Margie's funeral. She died a week before. Last time, I told you how I had to cancel the doctor appointments because I didn't figure out that I couldn't get her in my car if she couldn't stand. I blame it on sleep deprivation. Just before the cancelled appointment, 2 of the directors at Margie's facility…
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Trying to control this is not working
Ever since life “hit the fan” a year ago (after my dad passed) and we all realized mom’s memory issues were worse than anyone thought, I’ve been running on adrenaline and fact finding. TLDR: this sucks and trying to beat it into submission by controlling it only pushes the sadness down, not away. In 8 months we have:…
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That darn cat…
I had to put one of my mother’s cats down on Monday. Thought she had an abscessed tooth or something kind of minor. Turns out it was a cancerous mass under her tongue and she was probably in extreme pain. Also lost quite a bit of weight apparently. She was an older kitty so the day was coming somewhere down the line, but…
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For tmo81: FIL Driving
Your post and replies: Posted: Wednesday, November 16, 2022 3:06 PM Joined: 11/16/2022 Posts: 1 We need to take away my father in laws driving privileges' but have no clue how to go about it, no matter what avenue we take he will forget he agreed to it and be looking for his keys or car the next day possibly thinking it…
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Newbie here-only child w mom in ALF
New here. Only child (no siblings, ever) making sure my mom is happy and comfortable with the best care possible, although I live nearly four hours away. My mom is 94 & somewhere between stages 5 and 6 dementia. She and my dad always lived in the city she's in (he died a few years ago), and she has one younger sister there…
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Processing this
His voice is the same and he looks like him but I miss my dad so much. It's so hard having a familiar stranger with a completely different personality living in the house. It's messing with me. I am terrified I will forget my father and only remember the dementia. Is this likely? Because I want to remember the good times…
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Monster in the Mind
I stumbled on this 1-hour documentary this weekend and wanted to share with you all. It's a former CNN reporter who is now in her 80s and has the APOE-e4 gene and wanted to know how likely she is to get the disease. It's informative, busts some myths that I certainly held about the genetics and avoidance of the disease,…
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Head Full of Honey
I watched this movie last night. Wondering if anyone else has and what you thought? It has some big names in it. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5836706/
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No shower for months
Hello, I have read a bunch of archived discussions on showering/bathing but I am still at a loss of what to do. My mom does not shower and has no interest in showering. There is no bathtub in the condo but we did install and hand sprayer. She also is incontinent and stinks. Her condo is starting to stink too. When I try to…
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This may be it
I will write more detail later, but just want to ask for everyone's thoughts and prayers. This may be it for my FIL. So he had Covid 2 weeks ago - which he recovered from pretty quickly. Within 5 days, he had no fever, 02 was normal, he was alert, and mostly back to his baseline cognitiviely, and his lungs were clear per…
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To tell or not to tell(3)
Hello, thank you for reading this and would appreciate any feedback. My mom was diagnosed with dementia approximately 4 years ago. Her memory loss is primarily short term so we have multiple conversations of the same thing. It has gotten worse and worse with the situation we all dealt with covid lockdowns, etc. She is…
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Questions to ask when planning for the next few years
My (28f) mother (54) was recently diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. My father, siblings, and I already know her wishes for end of life care, but I want to have a discussion with my parents and siblings about what my mom envisions for her life over the next 5-10 years. We obviously don’t know how fast this will…
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Hospice...Now What?
90 yo mom with multiple health issues is recently approved for in home Hospice care. Mom's PCP invoked the Health Care Proxy, but I don't know what to expect from Hospice. These are the highlights read in the handbook: 1) The hospice team works closely with family/doctor to develop a plan of care based on our…
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Where do we go from here?(2)
Hi. I’m new here and joined in hopes of getting some insight into how to best take care of mymother in law. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s about a year ago. She has been living in an independent living facility for about two years. About eight months ago, we realized that it was time to look for an assisted living…
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Moving to facility...should he keep his cellphone?
My father with moderate Alzheimer's is moving to a facility (board and care) today. I wanted to take care of him until the very end, but he started getting extremely violent towards my mom with a delusion that she has been unfaithful to him...so he cannot stay. I went ahead and deleted my mom's number from his phone, along…
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Well, it's happened
Hi, I have posted a couple of times; my Dad (pwd) was diagnosed 6 years ago w/AD. He no longer 100% knows who I am. Last weekend was a family wedding; one of my niece's got married! My husband and I flew to where my parents live, and drove them the few hours to the rehearsal dinner and wedding. It was a beautiful occasion…