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Memory Care Unit Recommendation in AL Facility in Northern New Jersey
Any one have a family member with dementia in a memory care unit in an assisted living facility in Northern New Jersey that you feel is well run, impressed with staff, have stimulating activities and that seems like a happy place and not depressing. My Mom is in one presently and we haven't been impressed so looking to…
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I got Covid
DH has been in Memory care for 5 weeks. I had been over there everyday to eat lunch with him and also to check that they are giving him the correct medications etc. He has fallen 2 x since he was there and had to go one time to the ER to get stitches over his eye. I have been under such stress and felt very tired and…
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forcing (quote, unquote) someone to complete assessment
hello all, i am new here and greatly appreciate any advice/input. My aunt clearly has dementia. I first noticed it about 2 or more years ago and two days ago, she stormed out of the house in a huff and drove off into hurricane Ian. Oblivious to the fact that there was a hurricane outside. Fortunately, she lives far enough…
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A few more thoughts on resentment
Just a few more then I am done. I feel resentful towards my sister b/c she doesn't see or experience what I do. I am aware that she was there for mom as dad declined & did all the work of having him placed in a facility. I think she doesn't want to see mom go thru what dad did. I get that but this is still no reason to…
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Resentment(4)
I moved in with my mother April 1st & continued to work until she went into the hospital for a UTI. I went on FMLA leave for 12 weeks starting the day she came home from the hospital. The 12 wks quickly flew by & my mother's dr. said she should not be alone, I have since lost my job since I was unable to return. My sister…
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Driving us crazy
My sister and I are the caregivers for our 101yo father with dementia. Nights have been bad for a long time - talking, shouting, yelling, and multiple trips to the bathroom( for nothing) - but somehow now night time is getting worse. Now he is having total meltdowns in the middle of the night that go on for 2 or 3 hours.…
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Struggling today(1)
Just felt I needed to express how I was feeling today. I am having a really hard go of it with trying to work fulltime and help my father take care of mom. I feel as though everywhere I look there is sadness and no one is getting 100% of my efforts. My mother's (my best friend) dementia diagnosis, having to put our dog of…
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Perspective on Guilt
Hi everyone,I want to thank all of you for the important work you do. Your LOs are lucky to have you and the fact that people like you exist who take on this important sometimes impossible work gives me hope for humanity. I feel ridiculous for saying anything given my situation compared to some of the heartbreaking stories…
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New behavior: bedwetting
My husband is 84 years old. In June 2015 he suffered a thalamic stroke which left him physically with his motor skills intact but mentally with dementia. Up to this point he used the toilet successfully though his aim wasn’t very good. Unfortunately he has soaked his bed five times in the past week or so. He insists he was…
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Ok going to DMV this is going to be hard
My brother keeps asking for his car and getting a battery for it. Every day. I keep telling him all the things everyone says I should say, but it isn't working. Today he said he wanted to drive to ...get this Albuquerque, California and that it was just 500 miles away. I just looked at him in disbelief. This is the guy…
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Obsessed with Car and wanting to Drive
Hello, First time posting. Sorry for the long winded post. My hope is to give context on my dilemma. My mom and aunt live together. My mom is 83 and aunt is 79. My aunt has had dementia of some type for 3+ years. Never diagnosed with what type. I would say she's in the middle stage. My mom had my aunt move in with her last…
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Grandma passed of LBD
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting.I was one of 3 caregivers for my grandma. She passed of aspirational pnemonia due to end stages of LBD.She passed last year on Christmas Eve.I will never know why she had to go on Christmas eve...I am still trying to process everything.Some times I still get mad at myself for…
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I don't know how to communicate with my LO
Hello. I'm new here and first time posting. My mother is 82 and was fine until 2 months ago. After having cataract surgery everything has gone down hill. Her thinking has become very paranoid and confused. She either doesn't talk or she constantly repeats her distorted thoughts. Her Dr ordered MRI and blood work which were…
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Three siblings abandoning me, the caregiving son. Anyone else?
Not prepared for this at all. It just happened today. How do you handle the prospects of no family after Mom passes? Father died many years ago. Sister says she is leaving as soon as Mom passes. Will not attend brief service at funeral home and cemetery. My two brothers have also advised me they won't come. Maybe it's…
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CAUTION: Hearing loss started the ball rolling, so to speak.
Hearing loss ... reduced brain activity/stimulation ... brain shrinks. It's all through the medical journals. And, just to see how recent and many the reports are, I only Googled back one year. What JAMA calls dual sensory impairment - audio and visual for instance - increases chance of Alzheimer's in people 65 and older…
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Struggling to understand dad's POV
Can anyone recommend books or articles that will explain how someone with Alz receives information and what they may or may not understand? I've read Teepa Snow's Understanding the Changing Brain, but I'm looking for less of an illustration of what's scientifically happening in his brain and more of an explanation of how…
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Have guardianship, now what?
I was granted guardianship of my mom today. The judge however did not address that she refuses to leave her home. We’ve tried moving her before, having her hospitalized, etc and she won’t go. She is so unsafe in her home alone. Does anyone have any strategies for getting someone to leave their home and what authority do I…
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Mom is just not there..
I'm new to this. Thank you all so much for your kind words. My poor father is just beside himself. He tries so hard to be patient. She's had 2 UTI's because she refuses to get in the shower. She hasn't brushed her teeth in who knows how long. She said she has bit theres no toothbrush. She got violent towards myself and my…
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Broken Hip Part 2
Posted on here a couple weeks back but can't find it now. Quick summary and update - just when we got into a nice routine caring for mom (with middle to late stage dementia), mom fell and broke hip, had surgery, now in rehab nursing care. Hated the first rehab place, got her transferred to a better place that is also…
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Brokenheartedaughtere
You can get better help here by posting what you are going thru. That way you will have everybody aware of it. There is a lot of help here advice on everything what you are seeing with your Dad. The one on one is kind of personal. Your on Caregivers Forum now hit add Topic and share with everybody. You will get a lot of…
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dementia-my mom won't help herself and is angry
new here and I'm taking care of my mom who's in the early stages of dementia and is irritable, angry, aggressive by slamming doors and yelling at me a lot. She doesn't seem to care about herself or anything when around me. She's nice around others. I understand to not take it personally but that's a lot of negativity and…
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Third party guardianship, what is expected?
I'm very exhausted right now and borderline in tears so I don't have the energy to comb through searches on literature on third party guardianships. I was wondering if anyone here has had any experience with it or know much about it or any links at hand? I'm thinking that this will have to be the route mom goes. Thank you…
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What PWDs need
I was reminded today of my interaction with a geriatric care manager whom I had contacted to help me. At the time, I was in bad shape and did not know or how to verbalize my own care needs. I was relying on the gcm to make suggestions and how to implement them. She came to my home one day with a bag of groceries and…
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Happy, content , 'tis a puzzlement
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talk me off the ledge.
My brother got a CD come due and he didn't want it renewed because he said he was going to use it to get out of the jail that he says he is in here. He wants to be free. I told him his car battery had died because it was 8 years old. Now he wants a new battery so he can leave. He won't cash the Cashier check because he…
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Mom Just Passed(1)
What a long and horrible ordeal. Thank you! for your support.
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Not eating, stress, and father issues
Things are getting out of hand over here and no one's sure what we're going to do next. Mom has starting to resist taking her pills and also is barely eating. My younger sister (YS) is having a mental breakdown and our dad is a visual trigger for her so she's looking to move away because dad cannot get a clue. My stress is…
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Medication management(1)
Hi all. I'm just starting this thread so you guys can share how you manage your medication. I read some helpful tips in this article: https://seasonsretirement.com/medication-management-tips-for-older-adults/ which you can follow. If you also have other medication management tips you can share, please feel free to reply to…
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Vacation worries
My husband and I are going out of the country for 11 days soon. My Mom heavily depends on me even though she is in MC facility. I'm her only caregiver outside of MC. I wish I wasn't so anxious about leaving. I know it will help me and my husband to get away. I don't know if I should tell her we are going. She has been in…
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My mom in memory care needs extra assistance. Can you recommend something?
Hi there, My mom is in a memory care assisted living facility. Up until a few weeks ago she was somewhat ambulatory. She needed some assistance sitting and standing but could walk with a walker. Since then she has developed what seems to be a resistant UTI, she is on her third round of antibiotics, and she is not able to…