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If your loved one is in a facility
If your LO has advanced medical directives make sure the facility knows about them and remind them occasionally since there’s so much staff turnover. If they send your LO to the hospital do not assume they send a copy of the directive. Do not assume that the hospital has a copy. You may have to show up with a copy to make…
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NEW PERSON: need help/advice/don't know what to do
My mom and I do not know what to do about my dad. He has been acting irrational and loses his temper a lot. I have heard him tell my mom he wants a divorce and that she is no longer his wife and I am no longer his daughter. He has repeatedly say to my mom that he wants a divorce then a few hours later he claims he never…
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OT - sort of - 9/11 and Peggy
Peggy had gone to Hawaii and was supposed to come back home on 9/12/2001. Instead, all air traffic was grounded. Peggy ended up staying in Hawaii until the planes were allowed to fly again. This was a traumatizing event for her. She was always a nervous flyer, but this was it for her. She wanted no part of that flight…
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Accused of Stealing
My partner’s mother has accused my partner’s brother of stealing money, but we know this isn’t true as his mother has made similar accusations as a result of her forgetting where she keeps her money. Despite our attempts to remind her where her money is kept, she continues to make these statements which has frustrated and…
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Aging in Place Workshop (information originally from Michael Ellenbogen)
This looks like a good workshop: VIRTUAL WORKSHOP Aging in Place with Dementia September 13–15 | 12:30–4:15 PM (ET) The majority of older adults prefer to remain in their homes and communities as they age. For persons living with dementia and their care partners, there are both individual needs and community…
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A couple of new resources I just became aware of...
...you might find them helpful too. First, I've been very much enjoying the podcast, Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver, of which I became aware of when they booked me for a interview - hasn't aired yet, but a couple of weeks ago they interviewed Christina Keys, who I've known of in the caregiver space for awhile as a…
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Upcoming festival for dementia family caregiver documentary
Hey guys, I posted yesterday, but forgot to remove links that led to ticket purchases, so I'm just putting in the info, and if any of you are able to attend you can easily find the festivals. North Beach American Film Festival - North Beach, Maryland, Saturday, September 16 @12:30 pm Awareness Festival, Los Angeles, CA,…
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Wet Macular Degeneration shots
Last month Mom was diagnosed with wet macular degeneration. She had dry and it suddenly turned wet. She only got a few minutes notice that she was going to see a specialist upstairs and get a shot. The specialist turned Mom’s chair so that she was flat on her back, with her knees still bent. He didn’t didn’t walk her…
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How to help parents transition to new facility
Dad was hospitalized in FEB23 for uropathy. Since then, he has to rely on foley catheter for urination. To date, Dad's dementia(ALZ) went from stage 4 to late 6 within 4 months. Not only was it hard on Dad, it was also hard on Mom. Her dementia (vascular) also took a step down to mid stage 5. It is heartbreaking to watch…
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tamper-proofing machinery
My Dad has Alzheimer's and frequently checks the oil on his car, lawn mower, etc even when it doesn't need it. He often forgets to put the filler cap back and has ruined some equipment this way. Does anyone have suggestions on how to tamper-proof machinery so he can't damage it? We don't let him drive the car, but he likes…
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Kicked out of memory care for wandering
My Dad wanders into other people's rooms at memory care. Last week he did this when a patient's son was visiting and the son got very upset, which made my dad get upset and confused. The son complained saying that my dad is creating an unsafe environment. The memory care is now kicking my dad out because they are afraid of…
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Stabbed in the heart….😞
My dh has been in memory care for almost 2 years. Today I picked him up and met friends for breakfast and went to visit his sister and niece afterwards. Brought him home and basically had a good day sitting on deck and cooking dinner. He said “ should we leave early “?, meaning going back to mc… he thinks he works there.…
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Trying to support an aggressive grandfather
I’ve been taking care of my great grandfather for almost two years, the rest of the household is too harsh to him and it causes problems. I cannot convince them to get him help. I am 20, cannot drive and have put everything aside to take care of a three person household. How can I help my grandfather who has gotten worse,…
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VA Website for Geriatrics & Extended Care
Found this link today and it's very helpful if you have a Veteran who has memory loss. It also has some educational videos for caregivers. I read a report by the NIH that Veterans exposed to Agent Orange have a 50% more chance of having Alzheimer's or Dementia. Although it's not on the presumptive list, you can file a…
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Surgery with dementia?
I posted earlier in the week about mom reversing her sleep cycles. On Friday she fell and hurt her head and back. She was released from ED as no fractures or anything out of the ordinary in her labs. Returned to AL where she was unable to stand and get herself off the toilet. When I left on Friday evening she was a "2…
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Caregiving & College?
Hi everyone! I’m a new poster but long time lurker. I haven’t seen any threads on this topic so I thought I’d ask. I’ve been caregiving for more than a year for my grandma with dementia (taking shifts almost with another relative). I started caregiving when I was around 18 or 19 and I had to drop out of college, there was…
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Guardianship Reports (NYC Based)
Good Afternoon, I hope everyone is doing well. I know we are located all over the world, but I was wondering if those near the NYC/NYS vicinity had any recommendations on who could help me prepare my annual guardianship report- due this past May, so very late. I've asked 100 people and no one can help. I think I just need…
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Off Topic - I dodged a bullet - Burning Man
I go to Burning Man periodically, but had no plans to go this year. Peggy's caregiving has been intense the last couple of months. But some of my Burner friends almost convinced me to go with them - they had extra tickets and everything. It really is a place where, with no computer screens, intermittent cell phone service,…
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Kinda OT , 4 legged caregiver
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I Lost the War, but Never Gave Up
It comes with a completely destroyed heart... That my war is over. I never gave up. I tried my best and my best wasn't enough. My mom passed away on Monday the 12th of June at 6:05 pm. And everything about it was horrible. With all the ER visits and sleeping with her in many ICU's, It came to this. It felt like a movie.…
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Aromatherapy and Cognitive Function
This study used a diffuser for two hours a night on participants without dementia. The seven essential oils used separately were: rose, orange, eucalyptus, lemon, peppermint, rosemary, and lavender. https://cnlm.uci.edu/2023/08/01/sweet-smell-of-success-simple-fragrance-method-produces-major-memory-boost/ The 226 percent…
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JO C - Can you reach out to me?
JO C. I wanted to contact you in private about this statement. But don't know how to make contact. Your profile says private. Maybe lost about using some of the forum's features. "It will work out, but remember hiring a good person is one thing; keeping them is quite another, so do be a "good" boss and remember to let them…
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Feel like I'm not good at caregiving
Need some advice on how to handle anxious, negative repetitive talk? My mom goes into this unbearable space when something changes in her routine or when a problem, even a small one, arises. She lives with my husband and I so we are the recipients of this draining space she gets into. I can not soothe her with words, I…
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Caregivers need to know this.
I was deep in it a few months ago. I know what you're going through. I know how hard it is to balance anything in this losing battle. And unfortunately, it is a losing battle. There are no laughs immediately ahead. But as hard as it is to figure out, you need to have a plan when it all comes crashing down. I didn't and it…
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Driving , it's serious
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Peggy chilled my blood this afternoon
She had such a good day yesterday, but not today. Prior to an extra "as needed" dose of trazadone, she was so upset, crying, yelling, and speaking mostly gibberish. I know she felt like she was speaking normally, but I could understand almost no words. Once the medication kicked in, and I was able to keep speaking soothing…
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Not sleeping at night
Mom is entering a new phase where she stays up all night “reading” (browsing on her phone or iPad). The past few years she has always napped a lot during the day; dozing off while reading the paper or watching TV but it never affected her nighttime sleep. She & my dad are in AL and this is really disturbing him both…
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Self-care and decompressing after a day of caregiving
Caregiving for PWD can be like walking on eggshells, as many of you know. Sometimes, late evening is the only time to decompress. I want to share some things that helps keep my mind off of things. If worrying or other things create anxiety and prevents a good night's sleep, it's not good. I realize that everyone's…
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Pros/Cons of being in kitchen
I think an early-stage (ES) PWD being in the kitchen can be helpful to wellbeing, as it is better than watching TV all day. The PWD (my mom) can get frustrated is she can't find things, or makes mistakes, but on the positive side, feels she is being helpful, to be able to contribute and seems to enjoy it. On the other…
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OT: Bob Barker tribute
Bob Barker of "The Price is Right" fame will be honored tonight with a prime-time tribute special. It will show at 8 pm Eastern time and Pacific time. It will repeat on Monday morning, Labor Day.