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how do i deal with coping
my husband was just diagnosed with dementia. i am very frustrated watching him struggle with day to day things that up until a year ago he had no problem with. i feel like i have no patience left. some days are good and some days are terrible. who do i talk to?
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No advice needed, just a rough day
This is kind of a venting/“poor me” post but wanted to put it somewhere. My dad (77) has anosognosia most of the time but every so often he has moments of clearly recognizing his Alzheimer’s. Every time we have one of those conversations it wrecks me. Today we had a nice day out. His daytime caregiver called out sick and I…
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My wife is urinating on floor.
My wife recently started urinating on floor instead of going to bathroom. Mainly happens when she wakes up in the morning or through the night. She wears depends, but she takes them off and squats and pees on the floor. I don't know what to do about it. She's capable of walking to the bathroom. Anybody else experiencing…
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Walker refusal
Hi everyone, I am a CP for my father and he is refusing to use a walker or wheelchair. Any suggestions would be very helpful. Thank you
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Just got a dose of reality/ unreality
I just got home from a visit with my mother in AL. She’s been there since early November. In a nutshell, if you haven’t read my previous posts, while living at home alone, she began thinking people on TV could see her. Fast forward to going through psych evaluation & then to AL. So my daughter & I visited today. I remarked…
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Finances(2)
I am looking for some guidance re: financial issues. I am POA for my mother who is in MC. She has some EE bonds that are no longer earning interest. I have tried to redeem them at her bank, where the money would go directly into her account (at 3 different branches) and have gotten mixed results. Now, the bank says it…
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Monitor clothing changes
Hello. Looking for suggestions on how to monitor which clothes are being worn. She is in AL and washes her own clothes. I’ve never seen any clothes in the basket. I live an hour away and visit weekly. She simply doesn’t remember what she has worn previously. Ideas that could cue her to wear something different? Thanks
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Dr is making a house call tomorrow
I called the doctor today and he is making a house call tomorrow after 5pm. The purpose of my call was b/c of marked changes in my mother. As of Tuesday night she has had a lot of weakness and loss of bladder control. I asked for a referral to a visiting nurse and he said he needed to see her before he could do that. We…
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I Want YOU To Be In This Movie!
I have been forum-absent for the last couple of months, trying to stay ahead of this documentary process (not succeeding), but I have managed to hire an awesome post-production team! So here's an update on the movie making progress: Breaking News! https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/breaking-news And here's three ways…
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on hospice- anyone have experience discontinuing thyroid meds?
Hello I am looking for advice or experience on discontinuing thyroid medication for my mom. She is in end stage Alz- bedridden, awake maybe 3-4 hours a day in total and does not interact. Occasionally she will notice us but other times she is just staring at the TV or wall saying random words or grinding her teeth. We have…
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Advice and Help Appreciated
My father has been diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment for several years now and we have noticed it getting worse and worse especially within the past month. He has a neurologist and is going in soon for another MRI to see why things changed so quickly. Over Thanksgiving this year things really took a turn for the…
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Living options
I'm a frequent lurker, and have benefited immeasurably from the experiences and advice on these boards. Apologies for the long-winded question; TLDR, I'm struggling with a question about the best living option for my mom. My mother (71) had been having increasing trouble caring for herself, and was diagnosed with moderate…
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How to find acceptance
Hi all. I'm new to the message board. I joined because I' m really looking for help in how to find acceptance. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s this summer, but she is already very advanced. I live far from her and didn't see her much during the first couple years of the pandemic, so I didn't see some of the signs.…
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Not the best Christmas ever
It's been awhile since I've had a Christmas as stressful as this one. My uncle passed away on the 23rd. We're all sad about his death, but we've been expecting it too. He had been failing for the last several months, and finally it was just too much for him. I texted my brother to get him to not tell Peggy about Uncle N.…
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How to answer
I'm in need of advice on how to answer my 91-year-old mother about why I feel she needs to stay in AL. I realize the answer may not be the same for every situation. My mother had a psychosis episode believing the people on TV could see her. This was in late October. She has been in AL since early November. Of course, she…
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Feel like throwing the towel in
I’m the crying DIL I have a pretty long story. I have prayed, cried, cursed, closed myself up in my room most days and still back at square one. In 2019 my MIL retired and my husband is an only child. She is 81 years old. She was diagnosed with vascular dementia in 2021.She has always been very quiet. (This is how it was…
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Not Eating - But Not End of Life
Hi all, We've noticed recently mom is barely touching her food. Even with prompting she's started leaving most of her food on her plate at each meal. She's solidly at the end of stage 6 and I've wondered if we aren't in stage 7. It's sometimes hard to tell because her language skills are always more advanced than they…
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Sundowning and Seroquel
Many of you know about this hour that takes place that turns everything upside down. For my mom, everything is manageable (her behavior) until 4pm comes around. A kind member here had told me of a drug specifically made for this behavior called Seroquel. Why her doctors had never mentioned this to me...I don't know. But I…
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I'm hoping for some advice
I just got off the phone with my mom. While she has been very good at making sure that he gets to the bathroom when he has to urinate, at night, and occasionally when she is in the bathroom herself, he will pull down his diaper and pee wherever he happens to be. In the corner of the bedroom, outside an occupied restroom at…
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guilt over AL placement
In late October, my 91-year-old mother who has lived alone since my Dad died in February, had a delusion or hallucination that was very distressing to her, and it was a shock to me that she had a complete break with reality. She had asked me if it were possible people on TV could see her. I told her no, and that because…
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Hospice? Is it time?
Hi all. In need of advice. My Mom is 87 years old. She has had dementia for about 6 years. In October, my Dad had a UTI and was admitted to the hospital. I think he may have had another stroke while he was there. He was sent to hospice and passed away on November 2, 2022. My Mom stayed with us for about a week, that is…
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Aide Recording FIL
Hi, My FIL, 92, has a live in. She lives in with him. She is okay when she is there, but never comes back on time after she is off. This creates some problems, to say the least. But the bigger issue, I think (I am only the DIL), is that she is recording him on her cell phone. She send my husband a video of him coming down…
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Update(8)
We finally have a temp guardian of person and the estate. The judge ordered Dad to go to doctor to determine his competency once and for all. On the 3rd reschedule, doctor was supposed to be heading to the house. Guardian Ad lidem expecting to file contempt of court charges. Stepmother wants guardian of estate to pay her…
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Losing Patience
Hello, Just joined this forum today and feel like I need to write something. Like so many others, I kind of need to gripe. I don't think I have one specific question. My mother turned 80 in May 2022. In March of 2020, her long-time partner passed away and she has never been the same. Prior to him dying, my younger sister…
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Stress and weight loss
Hi all, I hope you're doing as well as you can be. I am not, I don't think. I've been so stressed out over the past two month, on and off. My dad's health scare did not help and the increasing words of transphobia from both my dad and my bosses isn't helping things either. Thankfully their hate isn't directed at me but…
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Update on Stage 8.
I have sat at my lap top several times in the past 2 months to reach out to you all and had to stop before I actually started a post because my dad demanded my attention/help right then and there. It happened yesterday AGAIN. I turned off my phone today, hopefully I can complete a post that makes some kind of sense. I am…
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Bad breath
My wife’s breath keeps getting worse and worse. Tooth brushing is out and I’m afraid to give her hard mints. I’m open to suggestions.
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Any experiences with Geo Fencing Devices
Hello All and thank you for sharing your experiences. My MIL is in an assisted living facility and is not yet in a MC unit. The facility has been excellent for her daily care and we don't want to lose it. The administration has let us know that if my MIL continues to wander off the premises that they will have to move her.…
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7 months on Christmas Eve
I have been here in my mother's home 7 months straight as of Christmas Eve. I was getting out for a few hours a few days a week this past summer & fall until the big blow up on Halloween. I had planned to go away for 3days/2 nights the first week of November. My sister, who is retired, was supposed to cover for me backed…
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advice needed transitioning LO to MC/AL
Someone told me that one day I would know it's time. That I would know it was time for me to make the decision to move my mother, from caring for her myself, at my home, to an assisted living facility that can provide the memory care and safety that she needs. She has mid stage dementia and progressive aphasia. Well, it's…