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Friend is overwhelmed and needs help NOW
So I've been trying to find some way to help my friend who is the caretaker of her grandma who has Dementia. This might be a little long.. My friend has been a live in caregiver of her grandma who has Dementia for about 5 years. A little over a week ago the grandma suffered a small stroke. She was sent to a rehabilitation…
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Paranoia(11)
My 85 year old dad lives with my husband and I. For the past year, he has had a fairly rapid cognitive decline. He has trouble finding the right words when talking, difficulty writing but the most upsetting to him and us is his paranoia. He feels that people are breaking in every night or during the day to take his things…
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Very Fast Decline?
New here! My mom (74) was starting to show signs of dementia, but somewhat independent (living in a condo). We moved her to an independent living apartment in a senior living community, thinking she'd benefit from some friends and activities (because she didn't have either) and had some in-home caregivers helping with some…
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My dad calls me almost every night looking for people who have died.
When my dad calls late at night asking for phone numbers for his mother, wife, older brother, all who have died, he gets upset if I remind him they are dead. He thinks he has seen them down the hall or talked to them lately. He also keeps asking about the whereabouts of his car that he hasn't had for several years. I know…
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Neurologist in/near Livingston NJ
Looking for neurologist with dementia expertise in/newr Livingston NJ area. Unfortunately, my mother's current physicians are not of much help. We're driving down the highway with a blindfold on. It's really overwhelming. Thanks all.
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Both parents have dementia- HELP
Hello, Both parents have dementia. I have put my business on hold and moved in with them to help them and care for them. 1. How do I add both parents info in my profile? 2. What resources are available for them? What is the best approach for care when they both have dementia but different types? 3. How does everyone do it…
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Self care during the holidays (and beyond)
My mom is finally in a safe environment (fantastic Assisted living/memory care place). I can finally breathe. My life is starting to go back to normal but here are just a few of the worries that consume me: 1) finances - mom always had issues in this area, dad managed it the best he could, now it’s my job, and on top of…
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How to admit and explain my need for support
I need to learn how to open up so that my few friends and distant family members understand more about my caregiving role and feelings. Possibly the support I need could come from them. What usually happens is they ask, How is Husband?? We never get around to talking about me. I’m usually the helper, I prefer to talk about…
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Final arrangements for AL
First of all, I want to thank all of you for your experiences, wisdom and care. This group has been such a source of help for me. I have secured a room for dad in AL. Just have to pick a move in date. He is sad and hopes he can come back home someday. Letting him hold onto that but we all know he won’t. Told him doctor is…
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Brothers keeper
hi, I am new to this site. i was the primary caregiver for my brother, who was diagnosed with vascular dementis this past March. He had a series of strokes 12 years ago, had aphasia as a result and very slowly began to get worse with his memory, driving skills. I took his car away from him in August because his neuro…
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No SNF will accept my combative husband
Last week my husband was coughing, sneezing, weak and unable to get out of bed so I called 911. After 12 hours in the Emergency Department he was admitted with a diagnosis of influenza A. After a week in the hospital his flu symptoms are improved, but on his third day of PT he can only stand for less than a minute and…
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Night time wandering
Hello, this is my first post. My mother in law has Dementia (Vascular/Alzheimers) and live with us. She has recently started getting up at 1am-3am wandering around the house, staring at the doors/walking through rooms/staring at open refridgerator/making coffee- etc.... My husband and I have set up Blink, Ring, to monitor…
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Wanting to die?
How do you all respond when your LO says she just wants to die? I know to attend to the feeling of being overwhelmed - I tell her I understand she feels that bad. She feels useless and a burden. We make sure to include her in cooking and cleaning with tasks she can do. I understand that it's the depression speaking, but…
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How do I change my Identification in the Forum?
I want to change my screen name in the forum. How do I do that?
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Our year with aides. Quit, quit, next, and next.
Just sharing the history of aides this year since others have shared their experience. First aide had to be told everything or would not move even to fix him something to eat. The next aide didn't want dad to participate when he was able. Would always spoon feed him when he was able to do so on his on just slowly. So…
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Had to send her to hospital
I couldn’t manage her comfort, her O2 was down in the 50s. No one would help me. I can’t go with her because i’m still positive for covid. This isn’t what I wanted but hopefully she’ll get comfortable and can come back home at least. she’ll probably even rally. Trying to stay positive but feeling a bit defeated. if this is…
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New here-help re caregivers
My mom is my dad’s caregiver she is 83 and he is 90 in late stages of dementia. He is from Italy and often reverts back to speaking only Italian on bad days. My mom finally accepted help from a care giver who comes 4 hours a day for companionship. However when she leaves he sometimes starts in with my m very nasty putting…
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Nursing and bed shortages
Although I care for my husband at home so far, I’m concerned about the shortage of nurses, aides, care facilities and most especially Medicaid beds in my area. AL businesses commonly don’t answer their phones. My sister waited 4 months on the 3rd floor of a hospital for a Medicaid bed, at a place 100 miles away. At her…
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Hospice nurse says hubby may graduate soon
she told me yesterday and I've been up all night worrying. He is skin and bones, bed bound for months. they say he has numerous TIAs, some days he eats alittle others not at all. Uses a nebulizer now and medication for secretions. I have to feed him , he is totally incontinent now. He has "episodes" where he hallucinates…
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She had me concerned
Before sharing what happened, I want to start by saying that it wasn’t as bad as it sounds at first. I walked into the kitchen and slipped on some liquid on the floor. I felt my wife’s diaper and it was the fullest it had ever been, even though it had not been very long since I had changed her. When I got her into the…
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Hidden in plain sight!
Yesterday I noticed my mom was carrying her mug of coffee around but I got distracted and forgot about it. Last night I was doing the dishes and I had a feeling that the mug was still missing but I didn't see any while I was collecting dishes. I assumed it was either already washed or amongst the dishes I had there. I just…
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Physical decline: when and what to do
Mom is 89, likely Stage 5 AZ. Recently she has become much less steady on her feet. Has had a couple of not-serious falls (lands on her butt). I have a hunch she is begining to have AZ related physical decline. Her short-term memory is horible, long-term OK. Occationally disoriented (thinks she lives in a different city).…
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Neurosurgeon won't operate because of Alz.
DW has spinal stenosis and osteoarthritis bad. Had MRIs and the situation is intolerable, constant pain and in tears, cannot walk and is highly medicated on oxycodone. Doctor refuses to operate because of her "cognitive condition" suggesting she be on high doses of medication. This is not acceptable, she's not a vegetable.…
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Question on medicare 5 year lookback
I have been taking care of my mother the last 8 years. She is geting worse and worse as each day passes. My question is...we never wrote up a verbal agreement but was understood that she would pay her fair share when she moved in with us. She pays for all the groceries and in the last 3 years has paid the phone and power…
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Thinking of you all
Now that hubby and I are on the other side of our five year dementia journey, I still read posts and I am commiserating with and praying for you all. We took care of my FIL first at his house, then our house, then 8 months in MC, then back at home for the final 10 months. There were times this year, I never thought this…
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I got it!
I have Covid! I’m very upset and feeling quite dumpy. I’m afraid I have already exposed my 85 yr old mom with late stage 7 Alzheimer’s and my newborn grandson who’s only 5 days old. Fortunately a friend came by to help me today and will hopefully come back tomorrow. The service we use pulled out. I am my mom’s hands on…
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Before she evens starts the new caregiver quit
I am not surprised and very relieved. Since my sister is no longer part of the care team my daughter, who helps me, & I will have to be more creative in the balancing act of our lives. My daughter helps me, as much as she can, between her 2 other part time job and raising 3 children. I am also going to take the suggestion…
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Incontinence Struggles
My sister has been experiencing nighttime incontinence for 3-4 months now. We have all the supplies - bed pads, mattress protectors, nighttime underwear, etc. Cleanup problems are minimal due to all the protective measures we have. The problem is my sister is really struggling to deal with it. I help her get cleaned up and…
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Changes to Veterans Administration Health Care Bennies - FYI
We had our Annual Case Review last week with the VA for my sister. According to the social worker, the new assessment tool they use indicates my sister is only eligible for 7-9 hours a week total for services, both day care and in home care. This past year, she was authorized for 25 hours of adult day care; we probably…
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How to take over finances?
Sadly my husband has become incapable of managing finances. Just this week he took one of my checks, wrote it out for $1000. and signed it, but left the name blank. Then he put it a neighbor's door. A few days later his wife came to my door and gave it back to me. Mike believes this neighbor Scott, speaks to him and has…