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Dragging feet for guardianship - vent?
So it's been about half a year since we were told that we will (probably) have to go with guardianship for our mom but nothing has really happened since then. I'm starting to get really frustrated with it. We've been leaning towards our older sister (os) being mom's guardian. However, she's worried both about the cost of…
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Guilt, Regrets and Fear
We moved mom to Memory Care on 12/30 after two years of in-home care. I did not live with mom but visited 2-3 times/week, bought groceries, managed meds and finances, handled doctor appointments, dealt with the house upkeep and coordinated the caregivers. Last few months we had live-in caregivers. Mom started some serious…
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Does the guilt ever go away?
It’s been a little while since I’ve posted but a lot has happened…a recap - my 72 yo mom has dementia and was living at home with my youngest brother but she has refused medications and any assistance for months, we’ve found her wandering at night in the cold and she has auditory and visual hallucinations. We’ve been…
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Strokes and more strokes
To recap, After getting my mom into AL in April, she was starting to settle, I went home to another country to try to get my life back in order, (and to have covid and various other crises of my own!) then she had a bad stroke in June. She had ALL the treatment and rehab and then AL took her back and did a lot to get her…
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Sleeping issues
Hello!!! My mom has finally started to have sleeping issues. She has had Alzheimer’s for almost 8 years and we felt in a way fortunate that she always slept through the night. But as the desease has progressed and the introduction if varios medications, she has been trouble sleeping. She sleeps a good 4-5 hours but wakes…
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Lack of diagnosis, what to do next?
I've known my mom was struggling with memory loss for a couple of years. It took me awhile to get the rest of the family to see what was happening, but now we're all on the same page. My mom spends most of her time in deep denial about what is happening, which creates some really difficult and occasionally dangerous…
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Strange ability that SIL still has despite dementia
First of all, haven’t posted since we put SIL in AL. It was very difficult at first. These message boards were so helpful. Less than a month after going into AL, SIL got COVID, was in ICU for two weeks, skilled nursing care for 3 weeks, and then finally we had to put her into memory care. She lost so much physical and…
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Take me home
My mom has been in a memory care facility for about a month now. I’ve been able to visit one time and my brothers have visited as well as her sister, a couple of friends, etc. she’s on hospice car so nurses, aids and chaplain have been there too. Since I live out of state, I also call her a couple of times of week - every…
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Catheter Help
My 101 year old dad just got home from a 3 week hospital/rehab stay. He now has a catheter that he never had before. He does not understand what it is or why he has it. (Explained it to him 1000 times) Ever since he has got home he is shouting that he has to pee, says it is itching, and is pulling at it. I'm afraid of the…
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Reclusive client exhibiting ALZ… what should I do?
Hello all… I’m a newbie and neither a health care professional nor caregiver, but I’m acquainted with a long term business client exhibiting obvious cognitive decline and symptoms of Alzheimer’s. He lives alone, he’s very reclusive, and he’s a curmudgeon… rarely leaves his house, has no social interactions, no immediate…
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SIL with Signs of Dementia
My older brother and SIL are visiting for a month, and I’m noticing that she is showing signs of mild dementia. They are in their mid 70s. She has poor short term memory, remembers things that didn’t happen, and has become short tempered and irritable. She laughs inappropriately and, yesterday, refused to wear shoes. My…
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Daughter caregiver preparation
I have looked around but not found this topic. DW has Alzheimer's, early to mid-stage now probably. I, the DH, and my daughter will be the caregivers as we try to keep her in her home as long as possible or practical, both for comfort and financial considerations. I would like to treat this as a part-time job for my…
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Care for Dad
My 101 year old dad just got out from a 3 week hospital/rehab stay. He has regressed so much. He can barely walk now. They placed a catheter in and he doesn't understand it at all. I am afraid he is going to pull it out. He is now also fecal incontinent. He is totally uncooperative and will not do anything we ask him to do…
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what happens if
something happens to me...in the short term....what if I get covid and have to go to the hospital myself? Would someone have to put my wife into a nursing home or something? What steps if any should I take?
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Problematic Behavior
My DH has recently started blowing his nose into his hands in spite of a kleenex in every pocket. Does any one have advice about how to deal with this?
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What if they get lost?
Hello to everyone in the community. My grandmother has Alzheimer's and she has a poor memory but she is hyperactive. We try to communicate with her, but she never stays at one spot. She's always walking around and her speed is unexpected fast, we are always worried about her getting lost because of it. I really think it's…
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PLEASE READ!! ELDER CARE ATTY NEEDED LIVINGSTON NJ
Hi All -- Im in (desperate) need of good, reliable, Elder Care atty & Trust/Estate atty /near Livingston NJ. Im so worn down. Contacted ALZ, but they just provide general list. No Recs Long complex beyond overwhelming backstory. In short, family estate lawyer (in florida) is not able to maintain his role as co trustee for…
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Finances - Husband has Early-Onset Alzheimer's Disease
My husband, after genetic testing and neuropsychological testing, has been diagnosed with Dominantly Inherited Alzheimer's Disease. He's 39 years old. At this point they have said he has "mild cognitive impairment." He's very forgetful with conversations, appointments, routines, etc. We have the forms, and he is going to…
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Sudden Extreme Anger and Paranoia
My dad is 83 and was diagnosed in 2020. He had a fall/deep stroke mid-December 2022 that ended in ER, then rehab. He was very confused and weak. His house was clearly not being maintained and he was not taking care of himself. He has almost no short-term memory. I did not feel he could go back home so we looked into AL. He…
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I decided to stop calling my relative
My relative with AD lives in her own home with 24/7 paid caregivers arranged by her adult children. I had been calling her weekly, just to keep in touch. She is my last remaining relative in my mother's age group. She always asks when I am coming to see her. I blamed my absence on Covid for a long time, but now I tell her…
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Dad wants to buy a home
My father is in stage 5 or 6 of Alz. He was living in Florida with a girlfriend, but she was having trouble caring for him. He came back to our home town and is living with an old girlfriend. She refuses to help make decisions around his Alz, and he's becoming more angry, high anxiety and suspicious that I'm stealing his…
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Sibling confict over alternative medicine
Has anyone else experienced a conflict with a family member about alternative vs. traditional medicine? My sister and I otherwise have a good relationship. We both want what's best for our mother but we disagree on what that is. (We have a brother but I think he wants to stay out of this potential conflict.) Our mother…
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Resentful
Sorry, new here. Posted this somewhere else on the board. Oops! Any advice on having to care for a narcissistic and neglectful parent with Alzheimer’s? How do youlet go of the resentment of caring for someone who didn’t care about you? Unfortunately, I am an empath, sensitive, so it’s very hard on me. I have to show…
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Need help with fiblets for LO in AL demanding to travel home
My dad did the all too common route of ER to Rehab to AL. When he originally moved he was ok with it and agreed to a facility near my house so I could help more. We are only an hour away from his house - and he is very well aware of that. He would insist he could just take a cab home. Now after a few weeks of being taken…
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How to Deal with Naysayers
Mom's talking on the phone is like a strong personality trait (it's always been problematic). I've gradually put things in place for phone safety (i.e. change phones, remove cell phone, add phone security features, blocked some callers etc.). Mom's anosognosia and severe lack of self awareness is a unsafe combo for TALK,…
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Stress(2)
I don't expect many comments,just venting My mother is a hoarder. Her house was condemned in 2004.my brothers cleaned it out and fixed it up so she could remain in the house.she moved in her this August and I am having a tough time. Cleaning up after her is triggering memories of cleaning her house so now I am snappy at…
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Anticipatory Grief(1)
Is anyone else experiencing 'anticipatory grief'? As I watch my mother slowly decline in ways that seem oblivious to her, I wonder if I'm being hyper sensitive. The look on her face, and in her eyes are most telling and sadden me to the core to witness. I think 'is this the face of death' and I know the answer. While I go…
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Extreme Guilt moving dad to MC
Hi everyone I am new here. My dad has dementia that has went to down hill since his hospital stay a few weeks ago for Covid. He lives at home with my sister and mom (who has mild dementia). He doesn’t sleep at night and has started turning the stove on (we have since removed the knobs). He also won’t shower without…
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How much do I tell her?
My 86 year old mother is a resident in an AL center about 90 miles away(we live in a very rural area).I am her only living relative, and my wife and I visit twice a week,but we gave her a cell phone to call any time she needs to talk,gets confused, or has a question. She has now reached a point where every afternoon or…
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Cannabis and Senior Living Facilities
Hi, I care for my 77 year old mom that has Alzheimers. She is in the early stages and still lives alone at home with help from me for errands, bill paying, groceries etc. It is progressing and we have started looking at senior living with all stages of care as she would like to start out independent with help from me at…